Tiggers that response is spot on. Times change I suppose and annual munches became regular socials and that brought it's own issues of familiarity. Would live to revisit a good old fashion Munch again!
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the_Laird
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 54
Bisexual Female, 53
Forum
Sex God
Quote by Missy
It's been a week since I was told - it's still the first thought I have when I wake up ...... Neil's dead
I can't properly get my head round it. I haven't seen him for yonks, but the impact he had on me has ensured that his passing has left me, and so many others, utterly stunned.
Neil was a massive influence on here and he never had a cluehe used to have me crying with laughter, he was so much fun to banter with cos he always responded in totally off the wall ways. He never took offence and went along with pisstake banter in his own unique hilarious style, giving as good as he got.
The way he used to beat himself up if he thought he had upset someone (which he never did as far as I remember), just made him even more lovable. He was always one for the underdog too, fighting their corner. He was always in the middle of debates, he seemed to love them. He had his opinions, he offered them without ramming them down people throats, he was very open to discussion, always listened to others opinions without poo pooing them (excluding bigoted, holier than thou opinions, which he would poo poo and make me laugh just by the way he done it :lol:
Neil had such a way about him, a wonderful energy, a gorgeous nature....
One of the good guys....
In all our hearts forever RIP buddy
Sent with love
Xxxx
Missy, you've so captured it all :kiss:
Sex God
Quote by Darkfire
Gulp. Takes deep breathAnyone else feel like a kid in a new school?
:wave: well... never in a million years did I think I'd be back here!
...where's the SH magazine section? :twisted:
I have copies if that helps Darkfire??
Loving seeing all the old posters on here. Also love the idea from Staggy of a Mancs Munch like the old days. The loss of Nellie sure has brought an awful lot of the good memories of us all being together back.
Sex God
Wish we were here under better circumstances too.
Thanks to a friend who messaged us the sad news which has left us speechless and really devastated at the loss.
Gem our hearts go out to you.
Nellie was without doubt one in a million. Like many have said his posts were many things but they were never dull and we too remember fondly the nights spent refreshing pages of the forum and laughing aloud and some of the nonsense that many of the “old school” have eluded to.
He’ll always have a special place in our hearts as someone we got to look forward to seeing at munches. From WRATS parties to Room 307, LadyFeeBee and I swapping identity badges with him and Gem after an “unfortunate incident” at a NW Munch (we still have their badges), his awesome legs in thigh high boots (I kid you not) and just the cuddles, the laughs and the intelligent conversation……albeit that was only the start of the pre drinks, it went downhill from there!
I’ll raise a glass to him tonight and we’ll share fond memories of what was for us the SH heyday of forums, friends and a shit load of fun.
It’s nice to see all the old guard here. It’s been a long time indeed
xxx
The Laird and LadyFeeBee
Thanks to a friend who messaged us the sad news which has left us speechless and really devastated at the loss.
Gem our hearts go out to you.
Nellie was without doubt one in a million. Like many have said his posts were many things but they were never dull and we too remember fondly the nights spent refreshing pages of the forum and laughing aloud and some of the nonsense that many of the “old school” have eluded to.
He’ll always have a special place in our hearts as someone we got to look forward to seeing at munches. From WRATS parties to Room 307, LadyFeeBee and I swapping identity badges with him and Gem after an “unfortunate incident” at a NW Munch (we still have their badges), his awesome legs in thigh high boots (I kid you not) and just the cuddles, the laughs and the intelligent conversation……albeit that was only the start of the pre drinks, it went downhill from there!
I’ll raise a glass to him tonight and we’ll share fond memories of what was for us the SH heyday of forums, friends and a shit load of fun.
It’s nice to see all the old guard here. It’s been a long time indeed
xxx
The Laird and LadyFeeBee
Sex God
Quote by neilinleeds
Trying to find a different spin was well worth the time and energy I put into it then Alethea. Ta! *smiles* I have a sneaking feeling that I occasionally have a tendency to overthink things, and over complicate, but I sort of imagine this thing ((( for want of a better word, cos I don't have a convenient word to hand for it? ))) that is the sum total of yer various experiences.
When you're in the first flush of a relationship, there's a tiny little seed and, as you explore each other it grows really quickly, in a fluid and dynamic sorta way, and as you become more used to each other, and your sex life becomes a bit more habitual, the rate of change slows. It takes more effort, the whole adding to it thing? An 'alf decent imagination no doubt helps no end here? Then you start swinging, and introduce others into it, which fires up the imagination in all sorts of novel ways all over again, and suddenly this thing's growing faster and more fluidly and dynamically again. At some point though it must all start to slow again, as you tick off the check-boxes and there are no more new experiences left to add to it, till the thing becomes kinda fixed. Hardened, if you will . . . .
Not sure if I'm making any more sense here or not, and I've never thought of myself / ourselves as hardened swingers? Reading my own words back though makes me wonder, cos having experienced a fair few things I / we've liked, in a very limited way, our remaining fantasies these days are very specific. I'm probably using hardened in way noone else uses here though, which is fine?
N x x x ;)
I love that description of developing relationships both in "normal" and subsequent swingers times because it's oh so true. What it did make me think tho' was did I become hardened to swinging or bemused with it all??????
:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:
Sex God
Quote by nostringsluton
To me the true meaning of someone who is a HARDCORE SWINGER, is a couple who can sleep with other people and still look at each other with love in their eyes.
That's just my view
If you cant do that the FIRST time you shouldn't even be contemplating swinging!!!!!!!
Quote by nostringsluton
I have this mate. and he pull's these right mingers every weekend...........
Sorry I missed it the first time around but I have to confess to kind of switching off when I read the above line......
Sex God
Quote by Funlovers2009
ooooooOOOOooooh A debate!! Now that's what's been missing from the forum!! :bounce:
Do you think it might catch on??????
Quote by Funlovers2009
People with no standards would bother me more. The ones who seem to shag anything that moves (or doesn't move as is in some cases)
They wouldn't bother me, I just wouldn't play with them and if they are around the scene long enough they'll soon get known for it. It's amazing how small this world really is however it doesn't make them bad people, might be the closest behaviour you'd get to the apparently commonly accepted term of "hardened" mind you
Quote by Funlovers2009
If the number of verifications is an issue for you then don't read them. There was no way to be verified in the days before t'internet (not that we go back that far). You wouldn't know a newbie apart from someone who has played for years then.
Ahhh the V word. If I remember correctly it caused quite a disturbance whenever it was brought up (back in the day)
Quote by Funlovers2009
Ahhhh feck it, who fancies a bit? :swingingchair:
On a Swingers forum???????? Surely not!
Sex God
Quote by starlightcouple
..... a hardened swinger?
we would think hardened swingers are those who have sex with others alot.
on another site we are on where feedback is left there are lots of couples with endless feedback of couples they have played with. that is what i would could hardened and not peeple who have only played a few times.
we would not want to play with peeple who have literally over 80 feedbacks. not for us that amount of playing. but i suppose at leest they are honest and i suppose some couples could have played more but have no feedback
difficult to know i suppose.So are those people not just regular swingers. People who have sex with other people.....albeit a lot? Certainly doesn't mean that those who do swing so often are incapable of being excellent swinging playmates. The opposite may even be true.
Quote by starlightcouple
i would have thought it was obvius what the term hardened in swinging meens :notes:
Clearly not.
Sex God
Quote by orch80
It implies not wanting anything except what that particular person wants, and hints at possibly not being reliable to meet with as they may be unsure as to if they really want to go all the way.
Is my thinking wrong?
I think it is wrong in so much as most peoples interpretation of "hardened" is "well experienced" and well experienced generally know what they want and have gone all the way many times before but I may be wrong.......it's been known before
Hello btw
Sex God
Quote by duncanlondon
as the expression is more often used as 'we are not hardened', it does not tell people what you are like.
but where i think it could applied is for people who are rigid about what they do, more or less dictating any experience with them, becoming entirely for their purposes only.
Disagree.
Most new swingers / first timers are extremely rigid about any experience with them and will dictate exactly what they will and wont do. In fact, it's not really until you are comfortable or a "regular" swinger that most people find that their boundaries become less rigid and more adaptable.
Sex God
Quote by noladreams
Why do you think the term has become a put down Laird?
I don't think it's become a put down I think it's always been seen as a derogatory term.
I've heard people referring in the negative to people as "hardened swingers" as someone they wouldn't go near and similarly, on adverts and profiles, the use of the term "we are not hardened swingers" seems to make people think they will appear more palatable as swinging companions.
Quote by Ben_Minx
I think its one of those buzz words and it gets bandied about a bit....
Agreed. Bit like the whole "we are a professional couple" kind of thing or the "no pain or watersports" tag line that falls into adverts and profiles ad nauseum only to find out that well, a bit of spanking till my ass hurts is okay......
It's people trying to create what they think others want to hear and will appear more appealing
Quote by noladreams
If you look up hardened in the thesaurus, you get words like this: seasoned, accustomed, inured, toughened, acclimatised, adapted to Do any of them sound 'better'? Because effectively it just means experienced.
I like a drink and drink much more than I have sex with others. I dont consider myself a hardened drinker.
Sex God
Quote by Funlovers2009
Is this how the majority of threads go nowadays? Even the good swinger related questions........
Well you could always put your two pennys worth in and answer the question
Purely in terms of answering your post Funlovers2009, given the tone the thread has taken subsequently I'm not sure why anyone would wish to make an effort to join in with the original debate. Sad really as it's a really good question and term that I've seen used and abused over the years to put people down.
Sex God
Quote by poshkate
Is this how the majority of threads go nowadays? Even the good swinger related questions........
It appear so
But my PM box is always open stranger! Nice to see you about 
Hey...how YOU doin'?? (in my best Joey from Friends voice, you get the picture
):kiss:
