Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
tomu
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 54
UK
Forum
as a single male i resent the implication that we're ALL timewasters, only interested in a random shag or some juicy pictures (mind you...) :-) hey look, i happen to have a penis, it's not my fault. and since i seem to keep going out with nice, sweet girls who aren't into this at all (don't know why, they all seem to be vegetarian foreigners as well; and recently i've hit a really bizarre seam of long distance swimmers, i don't know where this comes from) ...i thought rather than lie to anyone or entice anyone into something that wasn't their bag i'd come and explore this scene as a single guy. thus one more errant schlong to get on everyone's tits... if only 
hey
firstly: i thought i'd share these, because they made me laugh. especially the brazilian one
iclogoawards/
secondly: i was wondering what terms people favour for that area we all love between a lady's legs. i haven't found a way of describing it i really like... vagina is too clinical, cunt too brutal for all but the most brutal circumstances, fanny a character from a dickens novel, fouffe too.. frilly; flange is kinda nasty, although it does roll off the tongue nicely (like what it describes). one of my friends told me her dad refered to is as her "pidge", short for "pigeon", apparently a term of affection in stoke. this just seems all wrong in more ways than i can easily describe. and i don't like to get to poetic because it sounds either absurd or like i'm taking the piss, and in my experience ladies don't like having the piss taken out of their nether regions. although catheters are a lot worse for gentlemen.
anyway this isn't a problem for the man's parts. there are plenty of acceptable words, personally i favour mildly humorous terms like knob and schlong, because let's face it, it is an absurd appendage. also schlong incorporates "long", always a nice association. although i have no problem with it being described in more metaphorical terms, such as... as my mighty rod of iron.
so yeah. am i just being too prissy, or unimaginitive? ladies, how do you like people to refer to your temples of venus? guys, how do you feel about this?
right, christ, it's half past three. i'm off to bed.
tom
firstly: i thought i'd share these, because they made me laugh. especially the brazilian one
iclogoawards/
secondly: i was wondering what terms people favour for that area we all love between a lady's legs. i haven't found a way of describing it i really like... vagina is too clinical, cunt too brutal for all but the most brutal circumstances, fanny a character from a dickens novel, fouffe too.. frilly; flange is kinda nasty, although it does roll off the tongue nicely (like what it describes). one of my friends told me her dad refered to is as her "pidge", short for "pigeon", apparently a term of affection in stoke. this just seems all wrong in more ways than i can easily describe. and i don't like to get to poetic because it sounds either absurd or like i'm taking the piss, and in my experience ladies don't like having the piss taken out of their nether regions. although catheters are a lot worse for gentlemen.
anyway this isn't a problem for the man's parts. there are plenty of acceptable words, personally i favour mildly humorous terms like knob and schlong, because let's face it, it is an absurd appendage. also schlong incorporates "long", always a nice association. although i have no problem with it being described in more metaphorical terms, such as... as my mighty rod of iron.
so yeah. am i just being too prissy, or unimaginitive? ladies, how do you like people to refer to your temples of venus? guys, how do you feel about this?
right, christ, it's half past three. i'm off to bed.
tom
all very well. but for me, until you've performed in front of a great big crowd of total strangers; had them join in, singing your own words back at you; had them feeling what you're feeling; hanging on your every movement, gesture, word, inflection; heard them spontaneously burst into cheers at the end and known that they've got it, they've understood what you meant and they feel it too... that's the thing, that's the drug, it's like heroin for your ego, it's fucking brilliant. and nothing else will ever hit the spot once you've had that, and when you lose it it's like having your arm cut off.
it's elusive like runner's high or the perfect pill, you can do loads of gigs and only get it on a few really special occasions. it's happened to me exactly twice: once at a festival in newcastle (who knows the fish quay festival?), in front of a plaza full of pissed-up geordies who i thought were going to hate us but who really really went for it; once at an event in germany where (to cap it off) i was playing on a steinway grand in front of about 900 people. look this might look like unseemly bragging and i'm sorry. really, my penis is nothing special. and i haven't crossed oceans or climbed mountains or swum the english channel. but if i ever experience a high like that again, i will probably just want to stop the tape there.
oh, sex is really nice as well.
it's elusive like runner's high or the perfect pill, you can do loads of gigs and only get it on a few really special occasions. it's happened to me exactly twice: once at a festival in newcastle (who knows the fish quay festival?), in front of a plaza full of pissed-up geordies who i thought were going to hate us but who really really went for it; once at an event in germany where (to cap it off) i was playing on a steinway grand in front of about 900 people. look this might look like unseemly bragging and i'm sorry. really, my penis is nothing special. and i haven't crossed oceans or climbed mountains or swum the english channel. but if i ever experience a high like that again, i will probably just want to stop the tape there.
oh, sex is really nice as well.
i have a close friend who became an addict and has been selling the big issue for about five years, which has probably saved his life and got him to the stage where he's ready to go into rehab. so i have the utmost respect for it as an organisation. on the other hand, i rarely actually buy it and it does piss me off when the sellers are too pushy. i think it's possible to feel irritated, sad and compassionate in the same go?
yeah, it pisses me right off as well. when they phone up trying to sell me stuff i don't tell them who i am, i don't give them any information at all actually, and i never buy anything. worst of all is the recorded messages though. "You have just won a trip to disneyland, paris..." i don't care! "blah blah blah" shut up! i mean why bother? does this stuff ever actually work? has anyone here ever bought anything off a recorded message that phoned them out of the blue? rah! :fuckinghell:
oh gosh. nothing so terrible in my life. this is a really touching thread, beautiful stuff here.
loads of little snapshots i'd keep: lying in the grass with the girl i loved, in a moist field about a hundred miles from anywhere, in silence, watching the clouds scuttle past overhead, and just happy because she was there. another one, lying almost unconscious in the hallway of a friend i was in love with at the time; she thought i was asleep, and as she passed, kissed me on the side of the head. i remember spending all night lying wrapped up with my first girlfriend, pretending to be asleep, after we just tried to lose our virginities in jimi hendrix's manager's garden shed (...but that's another story), and i'm pretty sure that she was awake all night as well. yes, there's a theme here.
the one i'd keep though, is the massive surge of hope and redemption i felt when i was told i'd gotten into art school. i was in a bit of a dead-end stage in my life, i was at that time temping stuffing envelopes for a pension company in leeds, and i honestly couldn't see any way i could have any kind of a life; but, i had applied to this art school i never thought i'd have a chance of getting into. i was in work, and on my break i went into the toilets and phoned the college. I can remember everything, i remember exactly where i was standing, the colour of the walls, the carpet, i remember the first person i told was this guy whose name i didn't even know (he was really dour, he said "oh, keep your hat on mate").
most of all the feeling, like suddenly it was possible to chase my dream (erm peter ridsdale notwithstanding). and the lesson as well, that actually in life all sorts of doors will open if you only knock on them. totally a revelatory moment in my life. hence that's why i switched from art to music, indirectly that's why i'm here.
anyway enough rubbish. is that the time? i'm off to bed.
loads of little snapshots i'd keep: lying in the grass with the girl i loved, in a moist field about a hundred miles from anywhere, in silence, watching the clouds scuttle past overhead, and just happy because she was there. another one, lying almost unconscious in the hallway of a friend i was in love with at the time; she thought i was asleep, and as she passed, kissed me on the side of the head. i remember spending all night lying wrapped up with my first girlfriend, pretending to be asleep, after we just tried to lose our virginities in jimi hendrix's manager's garden shed (...but that's another story), and i'm pretty sure that she was awake all night as well. yes, there's a theme here.
the one i'd keep though, is the massive surge of hope and redemption i felt when i was told i'd gotten into art school. i was in a bit of a dead-end stage in my life, i was at that time temping stuffing envelopes for a pension company in leeds, and i honestly couldn't see any way i could have any kind of a life; but, i had applied to this art school i never thought i'd have a chance of getting into. i was in work, and on my break i went into the toilets and phoned the college. I can remember everything, i remember exactly where i was standing, the colour of the walls, the carpet, i remember the first person i told was this guy whose name i didn't even know (he was really dour, he said "oh, keep your hat on mate").
most of all the feeling, like suddenly it was possible to chase my dream (erm peter ridsdale notwithstanding). and the lesson as well, that actually in life all sorts of doors will open if you only knock on them. totally a revelatory moment in my life. hence that's why i switched from art to music, indirectly that's why i'm here.
anyway enough rubbish. is that the time? i'm off to bed.
wow, i feel loved. that's quick work. and thanks for that steph. wonder if there's a "pile of jism" smiley i can give you in response... well, not sure what this is: :sticky: hmm. i might have to get me one of those hip manga avatars. or perhaps a picture of, ermmm, arthur scargill or something
hmm, let's see.
butts, i definitely have a thing for a nice, voluptuous rump. foreign ladies - don't know why, something about "exotic"-ness; turns out almost all my girlfriends have been to some extent foreign; actually come to think of it, it was a jamaican guy that convinced me i could also be that way inclined. i have an attraction to older ladies, but i've never carried it out... as i get older, "younger" girls start to exist as well (i don't mean, you know, "wrong" young; just, for instance, imagine my joy on moving into a random student house in september, and discovering its other occupants were three 19-year old female student nurses... this has been a fun year)
hmm no i guess this isn't so much fetishes as turn-ons, and to be honest the list of those is endless... gotta say i find the jonathan ross thing odd, i mean he's a funny guy, but really... well, whatever floats your boat. as discussed elsewhere, his wife is a fine looking lady, i love that hair and the magnificent bosom...
butts, i definitely have a thing for a nice, voluptuous rump. foreign ladies - don't know why, something about "exotic"-ness; turns out almost all my girlfriends have been to some extent foreign; actually come to think of it, it was a jamaican guy that convinced me i could also be that way inclined. i have an attraction to older ladies, but i've never carried it out... as i get older, "younger" girls start to exist as well (i don't mean, you know, "wrong" young; just, for instance, imagine my joy on moving into a random student house in september, and discovering its other occupants were three 19-year old female student nurses... this has been a fun year)
hmm no i guess this isn't so much fetishes as turn-ons, and to be honest the list of those is endless... gotta say i find the jonathan ross thing odd, i mean he's a funny guy, but really... well, whatever floats your boat. as discussed elsewhere, his wife is a fine looking lady, i love that hair and the magnificent bosom...
hi
i'm Tom, I'm 26, i'm a postgrad music student in liverpool. While i guess you probably have more than enough rogue penises already, this whole thing looks like far too much fun to be missing out on.
over the last few years i've found myself following a plan to basically do as many different and interesting things as possible, first in terms of what i've studied, then where i lived, and now my sexuality is coming into it as well. to be fair i've always been a horny bastard and i haven't yet discovered a sexual act i haven't liked. i imagine i might draw the line at toilet escapades, but if anyone can prove me wrong... so i basically fancy women, but i've been having my first adventures with men; i guess you could call me a trainee bisexual. hmm, that's actually the first time i've used that word about myself.
so while i'm a bit shy of all you Cool Kids of Adventurous Sexual Practices, i've been reading your noticeboard for the last few days and i reckon it's time to say hello. basically i want to explore everything sexual and lewd. anyone wants to join me/guide me...
right that's enough bullshit. oh, ms sexysteph, i love that blowjob smiley.
tom
i'm Tom, I'm 26, i'm a postgrad music student in liverpool. While i guess you probably have more than enough rogue penises already, this whole thing looks like far too much fun to be missing out on.
over the last few years i've found myself following a plan to basically do as many different and interesting things as possible, first in terms of what i've studied, then where i lived, and now my sexuality is coming into it as well. to be fair i've always been a horny bastard and i haven't yet discovered a sexual act i haven't liked. i imagine i might draw the line at toilet escapades, but if anyone can prove me wrong... so i basically fancy women, but i've been having my first adventures with men; i guess you could call me a trainee bisexual. hmm, that's actually the first time i've used that word about myself.
so while i'm a bit shy of all you Cool Kids of Adventurous Sexual Practices, i've been reading your noticeboard for the last few days and i reckon it's time to say hello. basically i want to explore everything sexual and lewd. anyone wants to join me/guide me...
right that's enough bullshit. oh, ms sexysteph, i love that blowjob smiley.
tom
