We've talked about this quite a lot: what about some sort of public indecency bingo site, where people can issue challenges and put up (anonymous) photos of themselves having sex in public places, which other people can give points to. Any takers?
our challenge to someone else (and ourselves, of course) is to have anal sex on the stone altar out the back of the catholic cathedral in Liverpool...
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
tomu
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 54
UK
Forum
Quote by Samndave
Dave has spent years getting me ready for anal sex starting small and getting bigger over time
wow... now that's a skill :-)
Quote by annejohn
...get yourself a hard ,on and sit on a cucumber. we guys like it cos we get a nice tight screw,girls do it cos they want to please bless em.
no extra sensory receptors up yer bum,
Er, only your prostate, which is kind of like the male g-spot, and the extensions of the clitoris in ladies (imagine a pair of tweezers - the point at the end is the bud on the front and then the two legs extend back past the vagina and towards the shit-pipe. whether it actually gets there depends on the plumbing of each individual lady i suppose.)
The discomfort comes from doing it too suddenly and without enough lube, like sitting on a cucumber. Use something smaller at first, like your finger, and worm it in half-inch by half-inch, and use LOADS of lube. Crook it up like you're trying to scratch your balls from the inside. Do it while masturbating. I guarantee you will come REALLY hard.
Quote by annejohn
or u couldn`t have a poo without an orgasm.
Have you never heard the expression "a good shit is better than a bad shag?"
Ms Tomu comes really, really hard from it. I think part of the thing that turns her on is the , though.
The trick is to go really slowly at first, use loads of lube, and don't stop masturbating at any point - there's a really good Nina Hartley tutorial on how to do it right.
I'd say about half my girlfriends have ruled it out outright, and only a few have really liked it. Probably just depends on how you're wired to a large extent. Oh, I quite enjoyed it when she bummed me, but I've never had a real cock up there...
The trick is to go really slowly at first, use loads of lube, and don't stop masturbating at any point - there's a really good Nina Hartley tutorial on how to do it right.
I'd say about half my girlfriends have ruled it out outright, and only a few have really liked it. Probably just depends on how you're wired to a large extent. Oh, I quite enjoyed it when she bummed me, but I've never had a real cock up there...
Quote by Lost
Does nothing ask for speculation and personal interpretation anymore?
It's not just in NVQs though. Right through GCSE and A-Level critical thinking has been replaced by this spoon-fed tick-box "do-you-know-the-facts?" approach. Our first year HE students have never encountered the idea that there might be alternative rightnesses, or that Truth is something they have to go off and chase under their own steam, and will never catch.
Almost as if whoever designed the curriculum doesn't want people *thinking* any more...
Quote by the_Laird
I dont bother with a profile as everyone seems to agree.....nobodys pays the slightest bit of attention to them anyway!
...If when I am seacrhing profiles/ads and people haven't even overwritten the "Insert your text here" bit I assume (rightly or wrongly) that they are not serious or simply cannot be bothered...
I reckon thats two assumptions that are in my experience very wrong. I know many people on here who have neither a viable advert nor a comprehensive profile. I also know that they are genuine, serious about their swinging and can most definately be bothered.
Well, that might work for people who are using the chatrooms or forums to meet people, or who aren't nterested in meeting anyone right now. But if someone writes you a message, or replies to your ad, then surely they should have something on their profile for you to read - I mean - do they think we're telepathic?
all the more so if they're going to just send you a wink or "hi you're hot!"I think it's absolutely safe to assume that anyone who winks at you and then has no profile text, and no pictures is either not genuine, not serious, or genuinely and seriously dumb.
("Oh yeah!" we should reply, "U R HOT! I really liked the style of that wink and your empty profile is turning me on so much, I'm gonna have to find out where CF11 is and travel there and fuck you, without telling my boyfriend. Meet me in the dog and parrot at ")
Erm, ranting aside: we put as much as we can on our profile, both what we want and "the rules" on the bottom. We still get emails from married men but frankly, given the number of people who don't want cheating married men, anyone dumb enough not to lie about that deserves to get ignored. (I mean if you're lying to your life partner then why be honest to a bunch of strangers?)
I seem to have written quite a lot. Sorry.
This is right!
Just so you can see how the numbers stack up: about two months ago we put up ads looking for single men or groups of men, and got about two hundred replies in the first week. There was a point where every time we refreshed it there were ten more. Last month Ms Tomu changed the pictures on it, which inadvertently had the effect of refreshing the ad and we got a further hundred replies. Kind of exciting/flattering/arousing to feel so sought after but also a hell of a workload to get through.
It took us about a month to sift through all of them and make a shortlist. We wrote back to most of the maybes and some of the probablys (I think we wrote to the noes but i can't remember); we actually didn't get round to writing back to most of the yesses, but we have a list - er - somewhere. Then, because we hadn't been saving the messages, they started to disappear.
So - the things that got people instantly disqualified:
1. Not reading our advert or profile! Come on, if you seriously expect to get to the front of a queue of three hundred people, at least do us the courtesy of reading what we're looking for and answering that. Anything that looked like a cut and paste email that you send to everyone also got deleted.
2. just a cock shot. Yes, congratulations, but really, you can't tell anything about how someone looks from just a cock, and they almost always look a bit minging. Apart from mine obviously. (Incidentally we feel the same about pussy shots - I've only ever seen one pussy closeup that really made me want to fuck it). Pictures of your whole body are much better, then we can get an impression of your physique. And in any case since we asked for face pics and body shots and specifically not just cock shots, anyone who just sent cock shots got thrown out.
Actually out of the three hundred there was ONE guy whose penis actually made Ms T lick her lips (bigblackboy, if you're interested) but he had also written a good email and sent us some other pictures in any case. And actually it's a good picture - he's oiled it up and shot it from a good angle against a clear background, and put in his hand for scale.
3. rudeness, scariness or general shit email writing. Ok, someone offered to "rag doll" her. We don't know what this is but it doesn't sound fun! Somebody else said "I've never fucked a scally bird before." Scally? Where the fuck did that come from? Don't insult the person you're trying to have sex with, or make her feel like she might not be safe. Any hint of psychosis got deleted. Any hint of being obsessive or pushy. Basically we only wanted to meet people we thought we might get on with. Not necessarily to be our best friends, but some sort of reasonableness is good. Also Ms T is a bit of a grammar snob as well.
4. Too far away - when we've got a hundred applicants here in Liverpool we're not going to travel to Essex, are we? and even if you're willing to travel we kind of prefer people nearby, because then we can go for a drink and figure out if we actually fancy each other without anyone having to travel a hundred miles. (On the other hand it's nice to have a list of people in different cities tht we could phone up if ever we're in town).
5. No profile text. Looks like you aren't really bothered.
6. Looks. After all that she does actually have to fancy you!
And things that counted in people's favour (aside from the opposites of the above, of course):
1. bisexuality; if you've read our profile you'd see that I'm (Mr) a little bit bi, so if you're a bit bi then that's an extra incentive to meet you. Even people who said "I'm not bi, but the fact that Mr is doesn't bother me" gained points for that. Everyone is looking for different things, but if you offer someone something more than most people do then that's an advantage. As long as you mean it of course.
2. Some kind of interesting idea. Someone wrote to us about a secretary fetish role play scenario; he actually went on the list despite not sending pictures. It intrigued us. Mind you, someone wrote out a massive email about his fantasies, and also complained about people being rude and fake and bullshitters, and then a week later sent exactly the same text again, kind of proving that it was a cut and paste that he sent out on spec to everyone.
3. Creative/arty/well thought out pictures. Anything to make you look like you've put a bit of thought or effort into it.
4. flexibility/understanding. We've actually had to cancel on one guy a couple of times but rather than assuming that we're bullshitting him he seems to have accepted that people's real lives sometimes intrude, and we're still on for a meet. The same is true in reverse - if you can't make it that's fine, as long as you let us know.
And the number of those three hundred guys we've actually fucked so far? One. Some people dropped off the radar, some never turned up to meets without contacting us, sometimes other people had to cancel (which again is fine), and frankly we're busy as well, and only have a certain amount of free time for swinging.
So just because you might not always get a response, or you might not get chosen, or someone might call off the meeting with you, doesn't mean people are fakes! Just that, single guys, the numbers are really stacked against you, and if you want to get any, you really have to make your emails, profile and pictures look as good as possible.
Erm yeah, sorry that was so long!
Quote by Wilddaisy
My advice would be to read the advert and be specific to it.
It can be quite clear what kind of man a girl wants, so a generic mail which is obviously used on all the women here isn't going to impress, neither is a wink.
This is right!
Just so you can see how the numbers stack up: about two months ago we put up ads looking for single men or groups of men, and got about two hundred replies in the first week. There was a point where every time we refreshed it there were ten more. Last month Ms Tomu changed the pictures on it, which inadvertently had the effect of refreshing the ad and we got a further hundred replies. Kind of exciting/flattering/arousing to feel so sought after but also a hell of a workload to get through.
It took us about a month to sift through all of them and make a shortlist. We wrote back to most of the maybes and some of the probablys (I think we wrote to the noes but i can't remember); we actually didn't get round to writing back to most of the yesses, but we have a list - er - somewhere. Then, because we hadn't been saving the messages, they started to disappear.
So - the things that got people instantly disqualified:
1. Not reading our advert or profile! Come on, if you seriously expect to get to the front of a queue of three hundred people, at least do us the courtesy of reading what we're looking for and answering that. Anything that looked like a cut and paste email that you send to everyone also got deleted.
2. just a cock shot. Yes, congratulations, but really, you can't tell anything about how someone looks from just a cock, and they almost always look a bit minging. Apart from mine obviously. (Incidentally we feel the same about pussy shots - I've only ever seen one pussy closeup that really made me want to fuck it). Pictures of your whole body are much better, then we can get an impression of your physique. And in any case since we asked for face pics and body shots and specifically not just cock shots, anyone who just sent cock shots got thrown out.
Actually out of the three hundred there was ONE guy whose penis actually made Ms T lick her lips (bigblackboy, if you're interested) but he had also written a good email and sent us some other pictures in any case. And actually it's a good picture - he's oiled it up and shot it from a good angle against a clear background, and put in his hand for scale.
3. rudeness, scariness or general shit email writing. Ok, someone offered to "rag doll" her. We don't know what this is but it doesn't sound fun! Somebody else said "I've never fucked a scally bird before." Scally? Where the fuck did that come from? Don't insult the person you're trying to have sex with, or make her feel like she might not be safe. Any hint of psychosis got deleted. Any hint of being obsessive or pushy. Basically we only wanted to meet people we thought we might get on with. Not necessarily to be our best friends, but some sort of reasonableness is good. Also Ms T is a bit of a grammar snob as well.
4. Too far away - when we've got a hundred applicants here in Liverpool we're not going to travel to Essex, are we? and even if you're willing to travel we kind of prefer people nearby, because then we can go for a drink and figure out if we actually fancy each other without anyone having to travel a hundred miles. (On the other hand it's nice to have a list of people in different cities tht we could phone up if ever we're in town).
5. No profile text. Looks like you aren't really bothered.
6. Looks. After all that she does actually have to fancy you!
And things that counted in people's favour (aside from the opposites of the above, of course):
1. bisexuality; if you've read our profile you'd see that I'm (Mr) a little bit bi, so if you're a bit bi then that's an extra incentive to meet you. Even people who said "I'm not bi, but the fact that Mr is doesn't bother me" gained points for that. Everyone is looking for different things, but if you offer someone something more than most people do then that's an advantage. As long as you mean it of course.
2. Some kind of interesting idea. Someone wrote to us about a secretary fetish role play scenario; he actually went on the list despite not sending pictures. It intrigued us. Mind you, someone wrote out a massive email about his fantasies, and also complained about people being rude and fake and bullshitters, and then a week later sent exactly the same text again, kind of proving that it was a cut and paste that he sent out on spec to everyone.
3. Creative/arty/well thought out pictures. Anything to make you look like you've put a bit of thought or effort into it.
4. flexibility/understanding. We've actually had to cancel on one guy a couple of times but rather than assuming that we're bullshitting him he seems to have accepted that people's real lives sometimes intrude, and we're still on for a meet. The same is true in reverse - if you can't make it that's fine, as long as you let us know.
And the number of those three hundred guys we've actually fucked so far? One. Some people dropped off the radar, some never turned up to meets without contacting us, sometimes other people had to cancel (which again is fine), and frankly we're busy as well, and only have a certain amount of free time for swinging.
So just because you might not always get a response, or you might not get chosen, or someone might call off the meeting with you, doesn't mean people are fakes! Just that, single guys, the numbers are really stacked against you, and if you want to get any, you really have to make your emails, profile and pictures look as good as possible.
Erm yeah, sorry that was so long!
Dawnie wrote:
I have never read a Harry Potter book or seen one of the films icon_
You're not missing anything.
I've never been to Italy, eaten oysters, paddled in the Irish Sea or had a tattoo or piercing. Ms Tomu has done all four though :-(
She's never been double-penetrated, but it's on her to-do list...
Hey!
We went to the townhouse for the first time last weekend - in fact it was our first ever swinging experience - and we loved it, had a great time. We've only just noticed this thread (first time on this forum), but we were planning to go again the weekend of the 9th anyway - so if it's a private party, is there still space on the list, and can we come to the ball?
Magic - already getting excited
Tom and Ann
We went to the townhouse for the first time last weekend - in fact it was our first ever swinging experience - and we loved it, had a great time. We've only just noticed this thread (first time on this forum), but we were planning to go again the weekend of the 9th anyway - so if it's a private party, is there still space on the list, and can we come to the ball?
Magic - already getting excited
Tom and Ann
fine, but what's vanilla?
a) people who are outside of the whole circle, or novices
eg
or
b) meets where there is no sex, just socialness
eg
and
a) people who are outside of the whole circle, or novices
eg
Quote by celticq
BDSMers just love using jargon - they can't resist using terminology that vanilla's will not understand.
or
b) meets where there is no sex, just socialness
eg
Quote by the origins of munch website
...for the vanilla type socials people in the scene attend...
and
Quote by bluexxx
I do believe the word "munch" in relation to vanilla meets of the type popular now
alright
well, so i've been coming (whoops, freudian slip) on this site for about a week and a half now, i've exchanged some messages with some lovely people, and i've gotten generally more and more intrigued by this whole scenario, and now i'm working up the courage to go to one of those swingers' clubs.
only thing is, well i'm still a bit nervous, and after all, i am a single guy, and i imagine the attendance there tends to include a lot of spare penises... so is it even worth going as a single guy, or do i need to find someone to partner me? if so, are there any ladies in a similar but opposite boat?
also, i'm in liverpool, so which one is a good one? when should i go? what should i expect to find in this temple of wonders (eg, the title of this topic)? has anyone got any words of wisdom on the matter? this might all sound a bit lame me having to ask such doubtless F.A.Q.s, but well, i don't know shit all and i'm not afraid to admit it.
hmm yeah magic, any sagacity would be very welcome.
tom
well, so i've been coming (whoops, freudian slip) on this site for about a week and a half now, i've exchanged some messages with some lovely people, and i've gotten generally more and more intrigued by this whole scenario, and now i'm working up the courage to go to one of those swingers' clubs.
only thing is, well i'm still a bit nervous, and after all, i am a single guy, and i imagine the attendance there tends to include a lot of spare penises... so is it even worth going as a single guy, or do i need to find someone to partner me? if so, are there any ladies in a similar but opposite boat?
also, i'm in liverpool, so which one is a good one? when should i go? what should i expect to find in this temple of wonders (eg, the title of this topic)? has anyone got any words of wisdom on the matter? this might all sound a bit lame me having to ask such doubtless F.A.Q.s, but well, i don't know shit all and i'm not afraid to admit it.
hmm yeah magic, any sagacity would be very welcome.
tom
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: my bitchy side has now gone............im no longer sexually fustrated!!!! i
louxxxxx :wink:
8-)so... i'm just trying to imagine the most suggestive shopping basket with which to make a checkout girl blush. let's see...
some xxx mints, as discussed above
cucumber
baby oil
whipped cream
ice cream
strawberries
duck tape (actually, a side point, what sort of tape works best?)
do they sell oysters in asda, ms bailiff?
clingfilm
what else?
some xxx mints, as discussed above
cucumber
baby oil
whipped cream
ice cream
strawberries
duck tape (actually, a side point, what sort of tape works best?)
do they sell oysters in asda, ms bailiff?
clingfilm
what else?
Quote by Vix
OK, sorry 'bout this. The 'morning glory' is simply a result of a full bladder pressing against glands and whathaveyou, so is all about a bucket of piss, not a bloody thing to do with affection (or even lust, for that matter).
you seem very certain about this for a person who's never had an erection. note that every man here disagrees with you...
for me... i love sex in the morning. well, evening, middle of the night, afternoon, whenever. you can pretty much wake me up any time you want, and as long as there's a sexual intention involved, that's fine.
Quote by northwest-cpl
All categories seem to be in similar proportion to their non-tossing and non-timewasting counterparts...
i really like "non-tossing" as an adjective
... problematic though, i mean i have been known frequently to toss, and indeed have done so while viewing this website (mm check out all those sexy bee-hinds)... but i wouldn't like to think of myself as a tosser... perhaps more as a tossing non-tosser hahatom
hwoar: