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venus68
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 58
UK
Forum
If I am presented with a pic of a cock, with no idea who it belongs to I rarely see it as an object of beauty. However, if I first see the person and start to desire the person before seeing the cock, I then find I want to see their cock and it becomes an object of my desire, in turn to me it is then a thing of beauty that I want to become intimate with.
I think girly bits are not attractive, but then we have boobs that compensate for that and they are attractive to me.
I think girly bits are not attractive, but then we have boobs that compensate for that and they are attractive to me.
oi voddie i'm sure we met once about 3 years ago. I should have been top of your list. Where was my invite??? lol
Personally I prefer to know a handful of people that might be going to a party or at least know the host fairly well so I can feel relaxed and really get into the spirit of things. I'm alway surprised when I recieve an invite and have only recently started to accept the invites as my lifestyle has changed for the better slightly. I reckon nothing should be taken for granted and appreciate the invites you get.
Life is too short for getting upset over something so small.
Personally I prefer to know a handful of people that might be going to a party or at least know the host fairly well so I can feel relaxed and really get into the spirit of things. I'm alway surprised when I recieve an invite and have only recently started to accept the invites as my lifestyle has changed for the better slightly. I reckon nothing should be taken for granted and appreciate the invites you get.
Life is too short for getting upset over something so small.
Quote by DarkJedi
Thanks for posting this thread Venus, I hink it's been useful for the guys to hear the perspective of the single woman as I'm sure most guys imagine that single women are being approached all the time and hesitant because of that. (if that makes sense!)
Approach me in that mask and i'm yours xx
Thanks for all the words of encouragement on this thread. It's actually been rather theraputic getting that off my chest and hearing some of the responses.
After last nights party I can say that I failed miserably at the being tactile thing, but at least now I have acknowedged it I can work on it and not hopefully come across quite as ice maidenish from now on.
I totally agree with what flower411 said...
Please guys, try it!
Thanks midprincess that would be good, although I'm still not sure who you were lol.
Vx
After last nights party I can say that I failed miserably at the being tactile thing, but at least now I have acknowedged it I can work on it and not hopefully come across quite as ice maidenish from now on.
I totally agree with what flower411 said...
OOOOOO no no no !!!
She can only say no !!
99% of the time she`s as nervous as fuck cos nobodies talkin to her !!
The guy that breaks the ice and says hello has gotta be her knight in shining armour
She may not fuck ya but at least you`ll have made a friend
Please guys, try it!
Thanks midprincess that would be good, although I'm still not sure who you were lol.
Vx
Quote by
Do not feel bad, I for one would talk to you. There is no need to look at my profile, I do not fall into your requirements. Then again, if I liked you, I could always try.
Now I know this could be a bit vanilla, and I know you do not wish to do all the running, but try some natural contact. Remove non-existent hair from his shoulder, in short, show it is OK the make a move. Give the guy an opening.
Remember what you see as waiting others may see as aloof, or uninterested.
Travis
Hi Travis,
I think you might have me there. I'm not naturally tactile, comes with not getting hugs as a child. I find that really hard to do. Maybe I need to get rid of some deamons first. I have to admit there was a point on that night where I new the guy I was talking to was willing me to touch his cock while we were sat near the bar. My friend was happily touching his leg and his cock, but I couldn't do it.
Actually I think you have just hit the nail on the head with me.
I think I feel sadder now
because that is not easy to change after 39 years.I'm going to a private party tonight. I'll see if I can go out of my comfort zone and see what happens.
Vx
Hmmm... I hope people don't think I sit in the corner like billy no mates now expecting people to come over to me.
I do regularly have a wander around and must have said hi to several people I had never spoken to before with my usual happy smile. I maybe spend a little too much time talking to people I know, but then I also spend time talking to people I don't know as I find getting into conversation far too easy. It never seems to be with guys though lol. They just nod and walk by as fast as they can (it feels).
For the guys that like to wander around and see if they can get involved with some action. Remember that really, for a single woman it isn't as easy. She can't really just sit on a bed by herself and start playing without feeling a tad silly. She can't really go up to a couple and start playing with the guy (more so if she is straight like I am).
I think single women in clubs do have more restrictions than single men. I'll happily do the eye contact thing and say hi, but really I'm not interested in persuing men as I do like to be persued and once the contact has been made, would it really hurt to put some effort in and talk? Even if it's something like, would u like to wander round with me? join me in the jacuzzi or get some fresh air.
I admit I'm not going to say yes to everyone that asks, but I won't put you down, make you feel small or try to squash your ego either. I'm all for having fun and that is why I'm there.
I do regularly have a wander around and must have said hi to several people I had never spoken to before with my usual happy smile. I maybe spend a little too much time talking to people I know, but then I also spend time talking to people I don't know as I find getting into conversation far too easy. It never seems to be with guys though lol. They just nod and walk by as fast as they can (it feels).
For the guys that like to wander around and see if they can get involved with some action. Remember that really, for a single woman it isn't as easy. She can't really just sit on a bed by herself and start playing without feeling a tad silly. She can't really go up to a couple and start playing with the guy (more so if she is straight like I am).
I think single women in clubs do have more restrictions than single men. I'll happily do the eye contact thing and say hi, but really I'm not interested in persuing men as I do like to be persued and once the contact has been made, would it really hurt to put some effort in and talk? Even if it's something like, would u like to wander round with me? join me in the jacuzzi or get some fresh air.
I admit I'm not going to say yes to everyone that asks, but I won't put you down, make you feel small or try to squash your ego either. I'm all for having fun and that is why I'm there.
If someone chooses not to give feedback it would generally be because it is of a neutral quality, ie not outstanding and not dismall. For that reason those feedbacks are not generally missed as they wouldn't tell you a lot anyway.
If you have read verifications from other sites you may notice quite often you will have one that has been written by a well known person who has met them on several occassions before writing the verification. The wonderful thing is about giving it, you are the one who determins when the time is right or if it is indeed deserved.
It is not about popularity or ego massaging, I'm really not sure where that idea is coming from? I think perhaps this is someones pre-conception and not based on reality. For men especially it can be the difference between getting a meet at all. Myself as a female I don't really need them and have given verifications to people I feel really should be known for the good company they are, hoping it will make their swinging time easier and more prosperous.
I admit that if and when I recieve good feedback I do like it, I do appreciate it as it is always nice to know that you have made someone happy or fulfilled their expectations, beyond that? No... I'm a woman I don't NEED verification, I just have to show my tits! Which is exactly my point, for me it has more meaning than a display on cam in the chat room for instance. To me that is the ego rearing it's head and asking for the world (or chat room) to watch you and take notice. Not really my thing.
If you have read verifications from other sites you may notice quite often you will have one that has been written by a well known person who has met them on several occassions before writing the verification. The wonderful thing is about giving it, you are the one who determins when the time is right or if it is indeed deserved.
It is not about popularity or ego massaging, I'm really not sure where that idea is coming from? I think perhaps this is someones pre-conception and not based on reality. For men especially it can be the difference between getting a meet at all. Myself as a female I don't really need them and have given verifications to people I feel really should be known for the good company they are, hoping it will make their swinging time easier and more prosperous.
I admit that if and when I recieve good feedback I do like it, I do appreciate it as it is always nice to know that you have made someone happy or fulfilled their expectations, beyond that? No... I'm a woman I don't NEED verification, I just have to show my tits! Which is exactly my point, for me it has more meaning than a display on cam in the chat room for instance. To me that is the ego rearing it's head and asking for the world (or chat room) to watch you and take notice. Not really my thing.
Quote by winchwench
Takes nothing away from the fact that if you can pick & choose the verifications you show, it renders the whole thing meaningless.
And as for the volume/ time expiry argument, someone who can only manage one or two meets a year could be just as genuine as a three times a week swinger.
I find that statement quite insulting. Any verification that is written is valid and it does have meaning between the people concerned. Why does the person who gets the verification have the choice of adding it or not? Because some people don't think before the type. I just got one which was actually very nice and heart warming, but... he put my christian name in it and for that reason I have not added it. People unwittingly give away private information and it would be a minefield for the site to sort out every indescretion.
Negative comments don't have to be written about someone to show they are not worth meeting, the lack of verifications or thought out comments would speak for themselves.
Reference time scales. yes you are right, not everyone gets to meet regularly and I on one site have got a handful of verifications and I think not one of the guys I met is a member of the site any more lol. It looks like I've killed them all off (maybe I have) but really, who cares? It's not that important, it's just something that shows I've made friends and had some fun on the way and I am happy to be associated with those people.
Word of mouth usually works pretty quickly with someone who is a time waster or unsavoury character anyway.
I'm not sure why there is so much ill feeling about them. Not everyone has the time or the inclination to go on the chat sites and forums to see who is well known and who isn't, it's just another means of assessment and it's interesting to see what people have thought previously to you getting to talk to someone.
You mentioned on another thread that you would like to go to chams but were worried about the response you would get as a single female. If you would like some company and I am able to, I am more than happy to go with you. It's often easier if you have company. The first time I went was with a female friend and we looked after each other and had a great time.
Quote by Bbw4umen
Hi all
Well as you can tell from my profile, I've been on this site since Jan 2008 and I've still not yet had a meet. I've had fun in the chat rooms and cam mind but never had a meet.
I have come close to meeting a few guys, but at the last minute I've found an excuse not to go through with it because I've got freaked.
Am I weird? Am I a time waster?
I really want to do this but I'm not sure if I've got the courage?
I'm booked up for the Wigan Munch which I know will be brill as it's no play, so there'll be nothing expected of me so I will be comfortable knowing that. Plus I'll be able to meet lots of you to have a proper in person chat with so I'm hoping that's gonna give me a confidence boost!
Did any of you go through any of this?
Your thoughts will be valued xx
mine is...
too personal I like to see pretty things when I log on
It is my homepage but it's also my site so I've been reminded it might not be good to have up.
Thanks for the tip, don't want to get in trouble.
too personal I like to see pretty things when I log on
It is my homepage but it's also my site so I've been reminded it might not be good to have up.Thanks for the tip, don't want to get in trouble.
Quote by winchwench
I actually think verifications are not a bad thing. As long as the person being verified has the final work, ie decision on if it gets displayed or not and can delete at will. There is another site where this is the case and it works well.
Verifications can be the reason between deciding to meet someone or not, or inviting to a party or not. If you can see someone has met one or two people and everyone is happy, it is a good form of reassurance, even though you can't go by that alone.
Having said that, when you see people with pages of verifications that can be off putting too, so it's everything in moderation. Choose the ones to keep wisely and remain in control.
So if I had 5 verifications, four of them could say "Timewaster- didn't show up" and one could say "great meet, " I would just show the favourable one, which would then give an utterly misleading view.
That to me sounds much worse than no verification.
Not necessarily, as someone has already said the 'timewaster' ones often don't give both sides of the explanation so don't actually serve to give a real over view. Also, if someone is that bad then they would not get many verifications that were favourable and after a time, it would be noted that if dated may have expired as a usuable acknowledgment?
It's not about popularity. I personally don't use every verification I get, but the ones that to me show some insight to who I am and show that the person geniunly enjoyed my company. If they have put time and thought into it then I cherish the words and feel honoured to recieve them. However, if someone just writes, met as agreed. I don't bother with it.
You can always use it as a base for the start of a conversation. One person I had spoken to had 2 verifications turn up on his profile from the same person that were conflicting. One said they had met and the other said they had not met but talked. It was a bit puzzling, so I asked him what it was about and we chatted about it. So, like all things you use them as a guideline, but not stake your opinion by them alone.
Quote by Peanut
Reference 'peanuts' and the not seeing thing. Does that mean I should walk around with a bag over my head? lol.
Only if that's your 'bag'. Boom Boom!
No, what I meant was that it can pay dividends doing it online or via contacts first. It's far easier to talk to someone when one's jaw isn't dragging on the floor when the other party is a drop dead gorgeous women.
On the other hand, there is a possibility that (and please don't take this the wrong way) you could have blown off someone at the club and the jungle telegraph has been at work. Obviously I don't know if this is the case, but surprise, surprise guys do occasionally talk to each other. It's quite feasible that someone with their nose out of joint passed along a vitriolic description of you. "Oh you don't want to try her, she either frigid or a lesbian" sort of thing.
Only one guy took the time to talk to me last night that I had not met before and he definitly got the green light from me, just it was his 2nd time at a club and he wasn't ready to take the plunge yet, which I do respect even if it did leave me a tad frustrated lol.
There was one guy who approached me on a different site funnily enough and he said he would come up and say hi, but if he was there I didn't see him and no one came up and said hi. I'm just so glad I had some friends there and some other singly girls talked to me or I would have been billy no mates.
Alsorted just said that I rejected him on a different thread here but he never spoke to me lol. How did I manage to do that? I remember seeing him and smiling at him and that is it. I only had 2 glasses of wine so I'm sure I would remember if he had.
You guys are sooooo sensitive!!!! Maybe I did it telepathically?
You don't actually have to go up to someone and say after a few words, "would you like a fuck?" I'm sure that is not how couples interact. All you have to do is say, "fancy a wander round?" and if the reply is, "yes that would be nice" then you have more than likely been given the green light, at worst amber. If they say, "no I'll just stay here thanks" then you have very politely been told that it won't be going any further. How painful is that? Surely it's worth the risk if it means you get to play with someone you 'actually' fancy?
Reference 'peanuts' and the not seeing thing. Does that mean I should walk around with a bag over my head? lol.
Personally I don't see myself as that attractive. I do make an effort and I do like to wear sexy clothes, but I would say I was average in looks and I am size 16 so average in weight too. I can't imagine how awful it must be for a truely good looking woman lol.
I guess there is one thing worse than being a frustrated singly though, and that is a singly who is used to gain entry to a club. One very nice lady seemed to have this happen to her last night and I couldn't help feel sorry for her as that is a horrible thing to do.
Reference 'peanuts' and the not seeing thing. Does that mean I should walk around with a bag over my head? lol.
Personally I don't see myself as that attractive. I do make an effort and I do like to wear sexy clothes, but I would say I was average in looks and I am size 16 so average in weight too. I can't imagine how awful it must be for a truely good looking woman lol.
I guess there is one thing worse than being a frustrated singly though, and that is a singly who is used to gain entry to a club. One very nice lady seemed to have this happen to her last night and I couldn't help feel sorry for her as that is a horrible thing to do.
Quote by Steve
No I think you have made a good point, least my ego prefers it lol. I actually felt really low after last night and I think I won't be going as a single female again. I like to feel desired and if I have to force myself on men to get their attention, then to be honest it's not working for me.
I'm sure there were men there who desired you
Dont take it to heart :therethere: I'm sure next time it will be different...
Myself I wouldn't have the bottle to go to a club as a single male as my shyness and nerves would prevent me from enjoying the night but you sound like a confident outgoing kinda person and I'm sure it will work for you :thumbup:
I've been going for 4 years and it's often the same, not just last night. It's like being at the bottom of the pecking order and I guess because I do get into conversation easily maybe I just miss the opportunities or don't see them. Thanks for your kind words though steve x
I actually think verifications are not a bad thing. As long as the person being verified has the final work, ie decision on if it gets displayed or not and can delete at will. There is another site where this is the case and it works well.
Verifications can be the reason between deciding to meet someone or not, or inviting to a party or not. If you can see someone has met one or two people and everyone is happy, it is a good form of reassurance, even though you can't go by that alone.
Having said that, when you see people with pages of verifications that can be off putting too, so it's everything in moderation. Choose the ones to keep wisely and remain in control.
Verifications can be the reason between deciding to meet someone or not, or inviting to a party or not. If you can see someone has met one or two people and everyone is happy, it is a good form of reassurance, even though you can't go by that alone.
Having said that, when you see people with pages of verifications that can be off putting too, so it's everything in moderation. Choose the ones to keep wisely and remain in control.
Quote by Steve
Myself I get very nervous about approaching a single female for fear of rejection but I suspect when your there as a "couple" then it may be easier for any potential playmate to seek prior approval from the guy you are with..
When we have been to clubs as a couple then any single guy who wishes to involve themselves with us always looks to me first.....Perhaps its for me to then ask the wife is she wishes to play
Why is it easier to go through 2 people rather than one? There is still a possibility of rejection.
I see what your saying but I think its easier for guys to deal with guys if you know what I mean
There have been one or two wifey hasn't wished to play with and a simple shake of the head from me was all it took and the guy wandered off...
All this is only me experience you understand and probably means little or nothing to how other,more regular club visiting guys,see things..
No I think you have made a good point, least my ego prefers it lol. I actually felt really low after last night and I think I won't be going as a single female again. I like to feel desired and if I have to force myself on men to get their attention, then to be honest it's not working for me.
I have a large bath so to have one is a rare treat as can't afford the water (how sad is that). When I do have one I make it a bit of a pamper thing, bit like my version of retail therapy as it is cheaper lol. I have a fairly old bottle of coco bubblebath which makes the room smell gorgeous and I'll soak for a little while with a glass of red.
It is rare I have the place to myself though so at most this would be 30 mins and then back to reality with a cry for food off my ever hungry teenage son lol.
I do have quite a nice shower, so on the whole this is what I do and I enjoy that, which is just as well lol.
It is rare I have the place to myself though so at most this would be 30 mins and then back to reality with a cry for food off my ever hungry teenage son lol.
I do have quite a nice shower, so on the whole this is what I do and I enjoy that, which is just as well lol.
Quote by Steve
Myself I get very nervous about approaching a single female for fear of rejection but I suspect when your there as a "couple" then it may be easier for any potential playmate to seek prior approval from the guy you are with..
When we have been to clubs as a couple then any single guy who wishes to involve themselves with us always looks to me first.....Perhaps its for me to then ask the wife is she wishes to play
Why is it easier to go through 2 people rather than one? There is still a possibility of rejection.
I've been swinging now for 4 years. I'm a single straight female who just happens to love sex!
I have noticed that when I'm with a guy who is open to playing in public I could quite easily lay down with my man and not get back up again until the end of the evening having played with as many men available. Great! (this doesn't mean I have, but could!)
If I go on my own I seem to spend most of the night talking to friends and when I look at a single guy at best I get a smile in return. Last night I had a great night socially at Chams, which was packed, but only one guy actually came over and started to chat. He was actually a very nice guy, but new to the scene and still getting his bearings. I'm now wondering if this is the reason why he did chat and now just prowl?
So... single guys who go into places like chams. Do you prefer to prowl and join in without talking to people or are you not interested in single women?
It's very strange when you're told there aren't enough single women in clubs and that they are like gold dust how someone like myself can go in and get very little interest at all.
It was mentioned that I may be too picky? But surely you have to have had the opportunity to reject someone before you can be accused of that?
Is there a place for single women in clubs or is it a couples world? If you're a single male do you talk to single ladies or prefer the jump in approach?
Or maybe I'm just a minger?
I have noticed that when I'm with a guy who is open to playing in public I could quite easily lay down with my man and not get back up again until the end of the evening having played with as many men available. Great! (this doesn't mean I have, but could!)
If I go on my own I seem to spend most of the night talking to friends and when I look at a single guy at best I get a smile in return. Last night I had a great night socially at Chams, which was packed, but only one guy actually came over and started to chat. He was actually a very nice guy, but new to the scene and still getting his bearings. I'm now wondering if this is the reason why he did chat and now just prowl?
So... single guys who go into places like chams. Do you prefer to prowl and join in without talking to people or are you not interested in single women?
It's very strange when you're told there aren't enough single women in clubs and that they are like gold dust how someone like myself can go in and get very little interest at all.
It was mentioned that I may be too picky? But surely you have to have had the opportunity to reject someone before you can be accused of that?
Is there a place for single women in clubs or is it a couples world? If you're a single male do you talk to single ladies or prefer the jump in approach?
Or maybe I'm just a minger?
Had a great night despite no sex!!!! lol (what is this world coming to). Thanks for organising it and I did meet some lovely people.
So... what exactly do you have to do to get the interest of the single guys in chams?? I seem to get a lot more action when I go in with a guy than when I go in on my own. Does this mean I have to have a guy in order to get a guy?
So... what exactly do you have to do to get the interest of the single guys in chams?? I seem to get a lot more action when I go in with a guy than when I go in on my own. Does this mean I have to have a guy in order to get a guy?
