Written by Jonathan Thomas

Erotic
17 Oct 2008


I enjoy reading the stories on SH but take some with a pinch of salt. What gets me is the fantasy size of many of the dicks in the stories ‘he was well over twelve inches’ and ‘it was huge about eleven inches long and six round’. I’m about average size in that department and am not jealous or anything but come on, get real. Yeah there are guys with big dicks, but not that many. No doubt I will need some scientific proof before you readers agree my argument.

Now I’m not bi or gay so going up to blokes and asking ‘how big is your dick mate?’ won’t come easily. Apart from getting smacked in the face a few times I could easily get offers of trying it up my arse for size which isn’t to my personal taste. So I opted for an easier method. A mate of mine is a lecturer at Bath University and I devised a questionnaire for him to pass out to his students. He was a bit surprised but said he’d do it as the results could make interesting reading. A few weeks later he came back with the completed forms and judging from the answers, I think the students must all be regular SH story writers.

I’d already tried the internet and discovered loads of data but the results are all over the place. Useful stuff though, like a small cock doubles in size when erect and yes they are smaller when cold or in the swimming baths. One site said about 80% of men aged between 19 and 35 have an erected penis girth of 4 inches to 5.5 inches and an average length of 5.5 inches to 6.5 inches. That suggests there aren’t many nine inch plus monsters out there but there was one medically verified penis 13.5 inches long and 6.25 inches around. You’d certainly remember that guy if you stood next to him in the gents! Plus his wife would have permanent tonsillitis.

So it looked like it was back to ‘Plan A’ again, asking guys how big they were. I’m not normally a coward but this wasn’t going to be easy. Then one day I was in the gents and there was a young guy next to me in the urinals standing slightly back. I just glanced across and caught sight of his tackle and this was pretty big. I finished and went over to the sinks to wash my hands and the guy came over to do the same. I just couldn’t let this opportunity pass and asked ‘don’t get me wrong, but I couldn’t help noticing you’ve got an impressive bit of kit down there’. I stood braced for the punch in the mouth but fortunately it didn’t come. Instead he proudly said ‘well it certainly keeps my girlfriend happy, long as I take it nice and slow’. I laughed and then asked the million dollar question ‘so just how big is it then?’ He must have measured it as he immediately said ‘when it’s fully up, 24 centimetres long and about 15 centimetres around’. I thought it best not to doubt him and take his word for it, so I just remarked that was pretty impressive and made a swift exit. Afterwards I worked out that was nine and a half inches long and nearly six inches around. So yes there are some monsters out there, I’d actually seen one, I only wish I’d been brave enough to ask for a quick photo on my phone.

Over the next few weeks whenever I went to the gents I’d quickly glance across at the other customers to see what size they were. I’m convinced a few of them caught me looking and gave me threatening looks, as I’d didn’t want my head busted I thought I’d better end this survey. I can report that they were all pretty average with only that one guy being up to SH story standard. Then a few months later something happened that bought it all back again. I was in the lift in a car park, going back up to my car which was near the top of the multi storey. Apart from me there was one woman in the lift. She was around forty and looked quite attractive, dressed in a blouse and skirt and carrying several bags of shopping. The lift was going up quickly and then just stopped dead. I could see that it wasn’t on a floor and remarked the lift had broken down. The woman was really annoyed saying something about getting home to cook her husband’s dinner. The phone in the lift was smashed and my mobile had no signal so I pressed the alarm button. About ten minutes later there was some banging and shouting outside and we learned that they’d called the lift engineer and he’d be there in about half an hour.

We started to chat just to kill time, I found out her name was Liz. I think we soon covered pretty much everything including work, family, interests and hobbies. There was some more banging and they shouted to us that the engineer needed some bits and it would take about forty minutes to fix the lift. Having exhausted everything else we started talking about sex. I mentioned my recent study of men’s cocks including the survey of the university students. ‘You should have asked the female students’ Liz said ‘as they would have given you the true sizes of their boyfriends’. Liz then told me ‘it’s not really how long it is, width is more important’. She explained that her mum had been a midwife and that a woman’s vagina can extend to accommodate a longer cock. However a wider one is more likely to excite a woman’s clit. Useful I thought, perhaps I need to get a cock ring. Liz then asked ‘So how big is your dick, come on show me’. At this point I went all shy and was reluctant to get him out. So she made me an offer ‘ok if you get your cock out I’ll give you a flash of my tits’. That seemed a reasonable incentive. I unzipped my trousers and pulled my dick out of my boxers. It looked like I’d just got out of the swimming pool and it was a real let down. Liz seemed unconcerned and started to unbutton her blouse. Then she eased her tits out of her bra. They were about a 36C, seemed pretty firm and looked fantastic. This did the trick as by now my cock had been completely transformed; her tits had certainly got his attention.

(To be continued)


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