This forum is a wonderful place to share so many personal experiences. Some may only be in people’s imagination even though they say not but they are still good reading.
It also good to find like minded people. My wife and I have had for years and still have an open marriage but it didn’t happen overnight.
Let me explain.
I know from experience to convince a women to agree to a full sex threesome seems near impossible. You can talk, discuss and play act it forever. Bottom line, it’s a big step and they are right to be worried that things will change and never be the same again. Yes, it could break the marriage, it’s certainly happened before.
We didn’t rush straight in. My wife would never have done that. Also to be truthful about myself even though I wanted it, I did wonder what I would feel during and after.
Just almost by luck we talked about it with another couple that we were friendly with at the time. A very nice couple who admitted that they had wondered what sex outside marriage would be like. So one night we just relaxed with them. We soon lost our clothes and just touched and this lead to some fingering and light kissing. It was agreed beforehand, no full sex and it never did.
It was a good night though and we went home and both of us felt good with what had happened.
My wife and I talked and then fucked. She had orgasmed with the other man as he fingered her as did the other wife when I played with her. Neither of us males got to cum. After seeing the ladies get off it seemed a good time to stop.
Next day I called the other couple and she told me that they would not continue. The husband was having trouble dealing with everything. The wife has told since (we still know them) that she was very disappointed. I was surprised. Interestingly the other chap had a bigger cock than me so it wasn’t embarrassment on his part. He also seemed happy on the night so his mind must have played havoc after we left. His wife was very responsive and quite vocal so maybe she reacted like he had not seen before. I will never know.
Honestly you don’t know how either if you will feel after and next day.
But we were keen to continue but still wanted to take it slow so we looked some ads in the local personals. We selected one who said he wanted to be friends with a couple and have some fun. We had drinks with him and he seemed very genuine and my wife liked him physically. He agreed to take it slow. Nothing happened that time.
We then met again with him and did only oral and hand play with him. We all got to cum which was good. For me, I wanted to know how I would feel after I had shot and with him there still feeling and playing with her. We did that 3 separate times. We all got a bit bolder each time and it made it a lot of fun and very exciting.
On the 4th time he fucked her. She played with my cock while they fucked and then I came on her tits. I fucked her when we got home. That was a big step but very satisfying.
I could go on but there is no need. We saw him for about 6 months and many times. That was 16 years ago.
We have had others. We have moved forward and done many different things and different scenarios. She has also seen some alone and that is good for us as it’s just another variation.
Incidentally it takes a while to have a proper threesome and make it work properly for the 3 people.
We probably had seen the first guy more than 12 times before we successfully got it to work.
Both men need to coordinate things, have good balance and not lean all over her or the other guy.
Something else which is very sobering is when the 2 males end up in bed together without her. It happened to me with the first guy when after a very successful DP. My wife got out of bed and went to the bathroom. She was there a while and actually had a shower as she had cum and sweat everywhere. He and I just lay in bed and it took a while to talk. Very sobering for red blooded straight males.
We are both very happy with what we are doing and are glad we did it. We both thought that we had had plenty of sexual experience before we married but compared to what we have done it was nothing.
Also don’t worry about cock size. I am quite normal size, about 6 and my wife has never chased the big ones. She likes their mind and how they use what they have got.
We do like to become familiar with the guy if they are right and once we know them and have done our checks then allow them full sex without protection.
Another bit of advice is that to go out to a club and find a suitable guy to make your fantasy happen is very unlikely to happen.
So if you are a couple and thinking about expanding your marriage then hang in there but take it slow and steady.