Wind up or ignore ??

23 Jan 2008

Quote by flower411
There`s been a lot of talk about ops not being available when they are needed lately!!
But isn`t down to the older established members to act responsibly in chat and anybody else with half a brain for that matter !!
Some of the trouble makers are just inexperienced chatroom users who are not aware of the rules (and are ignorant of the meaning of manners )
I have recently seen members who should know better winding morons up and then calling for an op !! and I have also seen people pleading for calm...
To be honest ... these chatrooms , used responsibly by the regulars would hardly need ops !! But some people know that they can wind the pillocks up and then just call for an op ! And !!! it appears that in some cases an op will turn up and use the big hammer on a member who`s only crime is just being a bit thick :roll:

Unfortunetly, there are far to many people who seem to be, in your words "a bit thick"
I agree that some prople wind them up.. but in other cases the person does bring it on themselves.
Im a regular chatter in the NW room.. and only around 10 days ago 1 guy has been banned yet AGAIN through his own fault. He is rude, annoying, constant uninvited whisperer and over all a bully to all the females who use the chatroom!! I've not only seen this, but have been on the receiving end of it too. Yes, we should be able to ignore this guy, but when its everytime he enters the room, which could be 3-4 times A DAY, it does begin to get you down.
A cpl of days ago.. somebody who i would least expect had opened the NW room and was just booting people for the fun off it.. Some of which had only just entered the room and not even had time to say hello!! In my eyes, this is irresponsible behaivour for an adult. A supposrt ticket was sent in and guess wot?? As soon as admin appeared.. the culprate legged it!!
Both of these case are in no way inexperienced and very aware of the rules Some time, an op is needed to sort the situation out

23 Jan 2008

Couldn't agree more with you. We have a regular in the south wales room who is an op, so we are lucky in the respect that we can call on him if needed. He never comes into the room under his op name and always tries to calm any situation down. His op character never comes in unless he feels he has to. But, I have to say there are some people who think they can be judge and executioner and usually makes things worse whether they are long standing members or not. I think this is an argument that could go on forever and a day.

23 Jan 2008

I'm just flabbergasted that flower has spoken some sense for a change.
Obviously his account has been taken over by aliens rolleyes

.
My flabber has never been so gasted lol

:lol:
And, as you know Flower, I very rarely "use the big hammer" I tend to believe that sometimes adults can work things out themselves and if 2 or more members are having an argument I usually give them the chance to act like adults and apologise, sometimes it works and sometimes I'm looking for my big hammer.
The reason we all wanted to be ops was to help and guide people and try to make this site a better,happier and safer place to be,and not to wield a big hammer. wink

23 Jan 2008

Quote by woohoo
I'm just flabbergasted that flower has spoken some sense for a change.
Obviously his account has been taken over by aliens .
My flabber has never been so gasted :lol:
And, as you know Flower, I very rarely "use the big hammer" I tend to believe that sometimes adults can work things out themselves and if 2 or more members are having an argument I usually give them the chance to act like adults and apologise, sometimes it works and sometimes I'm looking for my big hammer.
The reason we all wanted to be ops was to help and guide people and try to make this site a better,happier and safer place to be,and not to wield a big hammer.

Blimey Woo...my account has been hijacked and Flowers has been taken over by aliens! :shock: I blame it on the new server meself!! :lol:
But getting back to Flowers thread. I was in the Jacuzzi room on server 2 the other night and anyone who was in there witnessed a long standing member causing massive aggro. I will not go into details. The site was down and nobody could get an op into the room, and this tirade went on for over an hour.
When the site came back up an op was called in and banned the member involved. If ever there was a need to wave a heavy hammer, then that was it! I must admit I was glad to see that op that night as were many others in the room. Yes there are new members that do not know the rules, but more often than not it is a long standing member who is causing the problems,and an op needs to use that big hammer! biggrin

23 Jan 2008

Quote by flower411
There`s been a lot of talk about ops not being available when they are needed lately!!
But isn`t down to the older established members to act responsibly in chat and anybody else with half a brain for that matter !!
Some of the trouble makers are just inexperienced chatroom users who are not aware of the rules (and are ignorant of the meaning of manners )
I have recently seen members who should know better winding morons up and then calling for an op !! and I have also seen people pleading for calm...
To be honest ... these chatrooms , used responsibly by the regulars would hardly need ops !! But some people know that they can wind the pillocks up and then just call for an op ! And !!! it appears that in some cases an op will turn up and use the big hammer on a member who`s only crime is just being a bit thick :roll:

up to a point I agree with what you are saying.... but where in effect does leniency start and end?
for example... if someone goes into a room which says no whispering or directing.. and people do this, then how much leniency do we give them because they are "new"? a week? month? year? .... and what about if said person does it again and again???
I am all for giving warnings... but what do you do if they keep not listening to them?
my wish would be that you had to tick a box saying you had read the rules before you could enter the rooms, because then people could not use ignorance as an excuse.....

23 Jan 2008

it does say on the page you click on to enter chat that you agree to abide by the chat rules and site aup. i know most dont bother to read them and even the long standing members dont read them or havent for a while so are not aware of any changes. and it doesnt need to say no whispering in the room title as it is part of the general chat rules, and even when it is in the room title there are those that dont even read that and continue to whisper uninvited. i mean we are all supposed to be adults and how shy do you have to be to say hi in a whisper.
and the main excuse for this is ......... 'sorry i was viewing your profile and forget to log off whisper'
a pityful excuse as it automaticaly logs you off whisper as soon as you click on view profile
i have whispered by mistake and the main reason for this is that i had the intention of viewing profile but somthing in chat caught my eye and needed a prompt responce .... i am sorry for them i have done it to and i normaly rewrite it in main chat redface

23 Jan 2008

Quote by fabio
There`s been a lot of talk about ops not being available when they are needed lately!!
But isn`t down to the older established members to act responsibly in chat and anybody else with half a brain for that matter !!
Some of the trouble makers are just inexperienced chatroom users who are not aware of the rules (and are ignorant of the meaning of manners )
I have recently seen members who should know better winding morons up and then calling for an op !! and I have also seen people pleading for calm...
To be honest ... these chatrooms , used responsibly by the regulars would hardly need ops !! But some people know that they can wind the pillocks up and then just call for an op ! And !!! it appears that in some cases an op will turn up and use the big hammer on a member who`s only crime is just being a bit thick :roll:

up to a point I agree with what you are saying.... but where in effect does leniency start and end?
for example... if someone goes into a room which says no whispering or directing.. and people do this, then how much leniency do we give them because they are "new"? a week? month? year? .... and what about if said person does it again and again???
I am all for giving warnings... but what do you do if they keep not listening to them?
my wish would be that you had to tick a box saying you had read the rules before you could enter the rooms, because then people could not use ignorance as an excuse.....
The op's advise you to warn them and if they do not obide by the rules then you have a right to remove them from your room that you have opened.
But its not always the case. Endless times i have been the opener of a room and had trouble, in which i DO ask them to not whisper or direct.. What do you get back? Enless verbal abuse many a time of "what is gotta do with you" blah blah blah and so on. So you explain it your room and the title states "no whispering/ directing" and the verbal/whispering/directing still carries on...So you remove them, which then makes them even worse and they keep logging back in... You get rid... they log back in!!!
Where does it end?

23 Jan 2008

Ok, I am going to use a bit of sexism here, and I am sure that there may be some men who feel the same sort of abuse at times, but as a woman there are times when nasty comments are made and we have no choice but to react, we are human after all (well some of us are!!) when the comments are as personal as they can be. Yes I know we should try and ignore it, but what happens is that the friendsof the person who is being targeted all stick up for them, as we would do in real world - then it becomes a free for all, to be fair most of the time the abuser vanishes, but this week I was in the room where Kent was and it was awful, i suppose we could remove ourselves from the room, but why should we?? In Jac 2 we try to sort things out between ourselves as best we can, as I am sure also happens in the majority of rooms and yes we are all adults, but even adults from time to time just have to speak out. Neways thanks to the op who did sort it out, I hope a life ban was given x x x x x x x

23 Jan 2008

Quote by nuttybird
Ok, I am going to use a bit of sexism here, and I am sure that there may be some men who feel the same sort of abuse at times, but as a woman there are times when nasty comments are made and we have no choice but to react, we are human after all (well some of us are!!) when the comments are as personal as they can be. Yes I know we should try and ignore it, but what happens is that the friendsof the person who is being targeted all stick up for them, as we would do in real world - then it becomes a free for all, to be fair most of the time the abuser vanishes, but this week I was in the room where Kent was and it was awful, i suppose we could remove ourselves from the room, but why should we?? In Jac 2 we try to sort things out between ourselves as best we can, as I am sure also happens in the majority of rooms and yes we are all adults, but even adults from time to time just have to speak out. Neways thanks to the op who did sort it out, I hope a life ban was given x x x x x x x

I'm sorry, but I must put my twopennorth in here. ONe of the reasons I put myself forward as a chatroom op was the frustration of seeing ladies being subjected to all sorts of harrassment in the chatrooms. In most of the regional rooms, the regs do a great job of quietly 'policing' the rooms. Trouble usually starts when someone posts an inappropriate or downright rude or offensive remark. Most of us ops do take time to find out who really is responsible and will deal accordingly with the perpetrator. Please remember peeps that the chatroom ops are on here for the same reasons as you all. However, we , as ops, are in a position to assist all who need it, we would prefer for there to be no need for any intervention from us. However, there are times when we need to get involved because soemone has overstepped the mark. Most instances can be dealt with by a 'quiet ' word (preferred option), although some peeps do think that they are above the rules. And as an asside, since I have been 'opping' my opportunity to chat with my friends has deminished, so I value my few mins chatting with them even more than before.
We are all here to enjoy life, life's too short to spend it arguing; look forward to meeting any of you that we will get to meet at socials.
Happy swinging all

23 Jan 2008

Where's my big hammer!!?? confused

:?

:lol: :lol: wink

23 Jan 2008

Quote by nuttybird
Ok, I am going to use a bit of sexism here, and I am sure that there may be some men who feel the same sort of abuse at times, but as a woman there are times when nasty comments are made and we have no choice but to react, we are human after all (well some of us are!!) when the comments are as personal as they can be. Yes I know we should try and ignore it, but what happens is that the friendsof the person who is being targeted all stick up for them, as we would do in real world - then it becomes a free for all, to be fair most of the time the abuser vanishes, but this week I was in the room where Kent was and it was awful, i suppose we could remove ourselves from the room, but why should we?? In Jac 2 we try to sort things out between ourselves as best we can, as I am sure also happens in the majority of rooms and yes we are all adults, but even adults from time to time just have to speak out. Neways thanks to the op who did sort it out, I hope a life ban was given x x x x x x x

Its a tricky one, I can say that if you report the time, room and who was being abusive in a support ticket the logs get checked and if the rules are broken action does get taken.
That may not help at the time, but replying in an abusive way will help less and could end up with action being taken on your account if you break the rules.
The first course of action should be to ask the room host to take action, if this doesn't happen then thats another thing to mention in the support ticket, or in the case of a public room there is no host, next thing would be to look for a Chatroom Op, if there is one online they may be in The Home of The Chatroom Op's on one of the servers, also they will show on the forum homepage in Purple, try a PM.
If all else fails start a thread in the Chatroom Lounge, Help Needed in ~~ Server #
If any Ops or Admin are online they will spot it and come and take a look, there's also other members that look at the forum and may choose to come and help.
If all of that fails then report and move on, its really not worth getting down to their level, when that ticket goes in and we check the logs they will get whats coming.

24 Jan 2008

Quote by nuttybird
Ok, I am going to use a bit of sexism here, and I am sure that there may be some men who feel the same sort of abuse at times, but as a woman there are times when nasty comments are made and we have no choice but to react, we are human after all (well some of us are!!) when the comments are as personal as they can be. Yes I know we should try and ignore it, but what happens is that the friendsof the person who is being targeted all stick up for them, as we would do in real world - then it becomes a free for all, to be fair most of the time the abuser vanishes, but this week I was in the room where Kent was and it was awful, i suppose we could remove ourselves from the room, but why should we?? In Jac 2 we try to sort things out between ourselves as best we can, as I am sure also happens in the majority of rooms and yes we are all adults, but even adults from time to time just have to speak out. Neways thanks to the op who did sort it out, I hope a life ban was given x x x x x x x

Don't know about a life ban, though it should be! evil

As I stated before Nutty, the problem was made worse because the site was down at the time and we could not find an op. I did put a request into the forum as admin has advised, and an op did come in as soon as the site was up and running again. That is one of the problems members face when they are in an " unhosted room ".
I can be an obnoxious person when it suits, but a nice guy as well, but I cannot stand a female in any situation being abused whether it be on here, or out in the " real world ". Women deserve respect especially on a swingers site, and would always come to aid of a female who I thought was being abused....cos I love em !! lol

:lol:

24 Jan 2008

I am sorry but its not just men you know - anyone can be abusive!!!
Have to say if people get univited whispers if you ignore them and dont respond they go ??? Why dont people do that - it works.
Just think sometimes if I was a guy on here I would wonder if its worth speaking in a room as regulars do dominate - including me so not being patronising or confrontional. In a room with 70 people you may only find about 10 people actually talk and at times I think - it would be good to have more people chipping in........
As for abuse in the open room, thats not acceptable under any circumstances and the room host needs to take some responsibilty having opened the room for monitoring it. I did it once and can say hats off to those who do. Its hard work. The trouble is when the host leaves and the room is still open things can become difficult. Its a shame that a room doesnt automatically close say after 30 minutes if the host leaves. It might help. confused

24 Jan 2008

i can only half agree with you corrie hun on ignoring uninvited whispers.... here is an extract from a couple of conversations i have had in the past
i am chatting away in open room
(whisper) hi
i carry on chatting
(whisper) HI
am still chatting
(whisper) are you there
they can see i am there cos i am normaly on cam or at least they see me chatting in open room
(whisper) ignorant bitch
its at this point i copy and paste into open room and also post a comment on the end. like well if you had not whispered me uninvited i would have said hi, please go and read the chat room rules especialy on whispering.
there are usualy 3 outcomes to this
1 they leave the room in a great hurry
2 they get even more abusive (to which the room regulars (and others) jump to my defence kiss

)
3 they say the didnt realise they were whispering dunno

24 Jan 2008

Quote by Corrie2007
I Its a shame that a room doesnt automatically close say after 30 minutes if the host leaves. It might help.

The new chatrooms when they eventually get here rolleyes

, will have that facility.

24 Jan 2008

Quote by flower411
I Its a shame that a room doesnt automatically close say after 30 minutes if the host leaves. It might help.

The new chatrooms when they eventually get here rolleyes

, will have that facility.
Well some of us are just hoping that the day never arrives !! lol

It`s already been mentioned that this`ll cause problems when the room hosts computer crashes or they are logged out for no reason !! :roll:
But what about the people who`ll think it`s funny to get a room filled up and then just leave ?
Flower from a personel point of view, if the new chat rooms were going to happen, they would have happened by now! I am not a technical person, but these new chat rooms have been on the go for so long, I believe they will not happen.
I have said before many times, the only thing the chat room needs, are for these to be a tad upgraded. They work fine, people understand them, and more importantly they do not take rocket science to use, unlike the " new " chat rooms. Why they want to make things more complicated, I will never know!! :shock:

24 Jan 2008

Quote by Sara_2006
i can only half agree with you corrie hun on ignoring uninvited whispers.... here is an extract from a couple of conversations i have had in the past
i am chatting away in open room
(whisper) hi
i carry on chatting
(whisper) HI
am still chatting
(whisper) are you there
they can see i am there cos i am normaly on cam or at least they see me chatting in open room
(whisper) ignorant bitch
its at this point i copy and paste into open room and also post a comment on the end. like well if you had not whispered me uninvited i would have said hi, please go and read the chat room rules especialy on whispering.
there are usualy 3 outcomes to this
1 they leave the room in a great hurry
2 they get even more abusive (to which the room regulars (and others) jump to my defence )
3 they say the didnt realise they were whispering

Now I'm whispered on a regular basis without permission by people who should (and do) know better.
I really don't know why they do it, and wish they didnt.
I'm gonna start this copying and pasting routine.
Then maybe they'll get the hint too
Ian

25 Jan 2008

Quote by Ian
i can only half agree with you corrie hun on ignoring uninvited whispers.... here is an extract from a couple of conversations i have had in the past
i am chatting away in open room
(whisper) hi
i carry on chatting
(whisper) HI
am still chatting
(whisper) are you there
they can see i am there cos i am normaly on cam or at least they see me chatting in open room
(whisper) ignorant bitch
its at this point i copy and paste into open room and also post a comment on the end. like well if you had not whispered me uninvited i would have said hi, please go and read the chat room rules especialy on whispering.
there are usualy 3 outcomes to this
1 they leave the room in a great hurry
2 they get even more abusive (to which the room regulars (and others) jump to my defence )
3 they say the didnt realise they were whispering

Now I'm whispered on a regular basis without permission by people who should (and do) know better.
I really don't know why they do it, and wish they didnt.
I'm gonna start this copying and pasting routine.
Then maybe they'll get the hint too
Ian
You have even better sanctions available than that Ian :giggle:

25 Jan 2008

Quote by Corrie2007
Just think sometimes if I was a guy on here I would wonder if its worth speaking in a room as regulars do dominate - including me so not being patronising or confrontional. In a room with 70 people you may only find about 10 people actually talk and at times I think - it would be good to have more people chipping in........

It's like anything in life - you get out what you put in.
It's not like a real conversation where people can talk over you. You type, it goes on to the screen.
I get accused of taking over chatrooms when I've been bantering with someone I can bounce off ... "Oh it's the XXXX and Marya room rolleyes

" ... what's stopping them joining in or starting their own conversations? Just 'cos I'm chatting doesn't mean their fingers suddenly stopped working.
Several times, after a "no one can get a word in edgeways" comment, I sit back and say nothing. No surprise there - maybe 3 people have typed a line each in 20 minutes. My turn to :roll:
At the end of the day, I'm here for me no one else and as long as I stick by the site rules and AUP, what's the problem?
There have been a number of occasions I've actually tried to help single guys get involved in the chat or give them some general advice on using the site. Tbh, 9 times out of 10 they totally ignore it so their loss, really.

25 Jan 2008

Quote by Marya_Northeast

Just think sometimes if I was a guy on here I would wonder if its worth speaking in a room as regulars do dominate - including me so not being patronising or confrontional. In a room with 70 people you may only find about 10 people actually talk and at times I think - it would be good to have more people chipping in........

It's like anything in life - you get out what you put in.
It's not like a real conversation where people can talk over you. You type, it goes on to the screen.
I get accused of taking over chatrooms when I've been bantering with someone I can bounce off ... "Oh it's the XXXX and Marya room rolleyes

" ... what's stopping them joining in or starting their own conversations? Just 'cos I'm chatting doesn't mean their fingers suddenly stopped working.
Several times, after a "no one can get a word in edgeways" comment, I sit back and say nothing. No surprise there - maybe 3 people have typed a line each in 20 minutes. My turn to :roll:
At the end of the day, I'm here for me no one else and as long as I stick by the site rules and AUP, what's the problem?
There have been a number of occasions I've actually tried to help single guys get involved in the chat or give them some general advice on using the site. Tbh, 9 times out of 10 they totally ignore it so their loss, really.
Well said Marya :thumbup:

26 Jan 2008

just like to my observations to this thread,I spend most of my ti,e in the tv/cd room/s server1 most people who go in are friendly, and chat to anyone, however on some occaisions, possibly kicking out time, an abusive person will come in, and normaly no one knows who the room host is, would it be an idea to for rooms to have the hosts name to be in room title, so everyone knows who to approach, also if you know it has no hostyou also know the room will be closed rather than have it just close, as has happened on a few occaisions to me, I for one would rather open my own room than be sat in an hostless one.

28 Jan 2008

I just wanna add to this posting after last nites events.
I opened the NW room yesterday from prolly 10am till i went to bed about 12 midnite,and did'nt have 1 ounce of trouble allday, until about last nite when a lovely young lady was on cam.
OMG :shock:
The remarks and constant whispers that young lady got were unbelievable. I did what i as a the room host of putting out a warning that.. This is a no whispering or directing room, please ask before whispering or you shall be removed. Did anybody take notice off it?? Did they hell!! Until i did remove somebody!!! After that i must of placed the warning 20 times and removd at least 7 people.
When do people learn a little repspect?

28 Jan 2008

As it is, you have to have "No Directing" in the room title or people can direct all they want. Why?
It seems to me most people don't want directing rooms so why not have that as the default and "directions welcome" in the title if you want it?
Like the whisper rule.
Seems reasonable to me.

28 Jan 2008

I have to admit, at 1 point i did this... "shit, i think i need to call a mod"!! As it was getting so bad, but once i removed the 1st person... most of them seemed to settle down.
Could we not have some sort of a thing where the room opened can call the mod by the press of a button.. You know, like where you have clear chat and kick user?! Ad a call mod to it... Its just sometimes when you do mail them... you can just miss them at times... not there fault, they do have a life like us.
Just an idea

28 Jan 2008

Quote by Lilmiss
I just wanna add to this posting after last nites events.
I opened the NW room yesterday from prolly 10am till i went to bed about 12 midnite,and did'nt have 1 ounce of trouble allday, until about last nite when a lovely young lady was on cam.
OMG :shock:
The remarks and constant whispers that young lady got were unbelievable. I did what i as a the room host of putting out a warning that.. This is a no whispering or directing room, please ask before whispering or you shall be removed. Did anybody take notice off it?? Did they hell!! Until i did remove somebody!!! After that i must of placed the warning 20 times and removd at least 7 people.
When do people learn a little repspect?

In my view it is NO coincidence that the problems started that late at night. It usually happens after people have come back from the pub, usually tanked up with booze. A Sat night is a prime example. Up until about midnight things are usually fine, but after that time that is when you get these morons come into the rooms. Also it is no coincidence that 99% of them are guys. rolleyes

When a lady goes on cam these twats think the ladies are prime meat! I say..name em and shame em, and then ban em if the abuse is that bad. Which is what admin do when people report them so......it is up to the decent members on this site of which there are many, to take the time and trouble to report these idiots. evil

28 Jan 2008

Think the idea of putting room host name in room name is a really good idea!!!
Having as MaryA says all rooms as default no directing and no univited whispers unless thats what it is and put in room title. None as that needs to wait until new chatrooms set up?

28 Jan 2008

Quote by Lilmiss
I have to admit, at 1 point i did this... "shit, i think i need to call a mod"!!
Could we not have some sort of a thing where the room opened can call the mod by the press of a button.. You know, like where you have clear chat and kick user?! Ad a call mod to it... Its just sometimes when you do mail them... you can just miss them at times... not there fault, they do have a life like us.
Just an idea

Sadly, calling a mod to deal with a chatroom issue won't help you very much.
Better suggestion would be to call a chatroom op.
We are the ones that live in the chatrooms and can help out with your problems
Ian

28 Jan 2008

Quote by Ian
I have to admit, at 1 point i did this... "shit, i think i need to call a mod"!!
Could we not have some sort of a thing where the room opened can call the mod by the press of a button.. You know, like where you have clear chat and kick user?! Ad a call mod to it... Its just sometimes when you do mail them... you can just miss them at times... not there fault, they do have a life like us.
Just an idea

Sadly, calling a mod to deal with a chatroom issue won't help you very much.
Better suggestion would be to call a chatroom op.
We are the ones that live in the chatrooms and can help out with your problems
Ian
:doh:
Sorry... chatroom Op is what i meant... your all the smae to me

28 Jan 2008

Quote by Ian
I have to admit, at 1 point i did this... "shit, i think i need to call a mod"!!
Could we not have some sort of a thing where the room opened can call the mod by the press of a button.. You know, like where you have clear chat and kick user?! Ad a call mod to it... Its just sometimes when you do mail them... you can just miss them at times... not there fault, they do have a life like us.
Just an idea

Sadly, calling a mod to deal with a chatroom issue won't help you very much.
Better suggestion would be to call a chatroom op.
We are the ones that live in the chatrooms and can help out with your problems
Ian
Sorry Ian if I sound a bit fick, but a mod can't help in the chat and an op cant help in the Forum? Oh right that makes good sense. If someone was having a problem in chat and only a mod was on line, they would not help? I know you have not said that, but that is how I read it. :shock: As usually probably wrong.....again. redface

28 Jan 2008

Quote by Lilmiss
Sorry... chatroom Op is what i meant... your all the smae to me

Excuse me, there are some major differences between Ian and me :shock: I have two very large bumps which he does not have, and (I understand) he has a certainly dangly bit that I definatley dont have, so we are definately not the same!
wink