I have recently been accused of leading someone on.. but I didn't. Everyone that knows me knows that I tell things straight, I don't wind people up. This person took what I said in a completely different way, and even posted an email I sent into a chatroom to embarrass me and to try and upset my other half, not knowing that we have access to each others accounts and email, and we read both all the time. It didn't work, and even though my other half had to talk to him personally to tell him to back off, it took a while for the penny to drop. He had been phoning (silly me for giving him my number, but even my other half thought he was ok as he had met him.) He had been emailing me and texting all the time... was starting to worry me...
Has anyone else on here been stalked, or fallen prey to stalker-ish people.. How did you deal with it? I would be interested to find out. I won't name and shame, but it really has put the willies up me.. no funny comments please... oh.. go one then!
If you don't want to post.. pm please xx thanks xx
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Harrasment....
Sex God
Have you set up a swinging only email account and bought a PAYG swingphone? This will allow you to ditch your email and open a new account, giving the address to the people you still want to contact you and the phone can be switched off when you want or you can even get a new simcard and number if omeone is being a total prat 
If it's someone off here and they don't get the hint you could ask a mod to have a friendly word with them before taking it further.
If it's someone off here and they don't get the hint you could ask a mod to have a friendly word with them before taking it further.
My phone is PAYG but have got another sim I might have to use. They are from SH and only email my account on here, I am SO glad I didn't give them my normal email. Hopefully my other half having a chat has done the trick, but will keep the mod thing in mind.. Thanks for replying.. xx
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Have you set up a swinging only email account and bought a PAYG swingphone? This will allow you to ditch your email and open a new account, giving the address to the people you still want to contact you and the phone can be switched off when you want or you can even get a new simcard and number if omeone is being a total prat
If it's someone off here and they don't get the hint you could ask a mod to have a friendly word with them before taking it further.
If he's being shirty, report it to admin.
Having a stalker in RL who over a period of months follows you around town and knows your routine.....down to when you go to the bank....where you park etc.....and approaches you when you have the kids in tow......that's perturbing!
But as Meaty said, take sensible precautions and when the weirdos crawl out of the woodwork, they shouldn't pose a threat.
Having a stalker in RL who over a period of months follows you around town and knows your routine.....down to when you go to the bank....where you park etc.....and approaches you when you have the kids in tow......that's perturbing!
But as Meaty said, take sensible precautions and when the weirdos crawl out of the woodwork, they shouldn't pose a threat.
Sex God
The only thing I would say MissKitty, is that from the nature of your posts, you come across as a very open person and you seem to be happy sharing all sorts of details about your life. Whilst that's great, if you want to be that open, maybe you'll have to be a bit more guarded in future to avoid these kind of situations. Not that I am saying you have led the person on, just be a bit wary.
Failing that, as Winchy said, report anything untoward and use your 'ignore' button for PMs.
Hope it works out.
Failing that, as Winchy said, report anything untoward and use your 'ignore' button for PMs.
Hope it works out.
Not really the same but.......
I went through a stage that whenever I posted here the same member would post a reply. The reply would always be disagree with me and be dismissive of my views or comments. So what? The first couple of times I thought we just didn't think alike but it went on for some time and I considered not posting again. I didn't feel I could complain as it would sound just a bit pathetic. In the end I came to believe I wasn't been stalked just a mild piece of bullying.
I went through a stage that whenever I posted here the same member would post a reply. The reply would always be disagree with me and be dismissive of my views or comments. So what? The first couple of times I thought we just didn't think alike but it went on for some time and I considered not posting again. I didn't feel I could complain as it would sound just a bit pathetic. In the end I came to believe I wasn't been stalked just a mild piece of bullying.
Sex God
Nice bum, Keeno 
hwoar:
hwoar: If you have a problem with someone in chat - report to Chat Op (purple people), elsewhere on site Mod (Green uns) or Admin (brown uns).
We used to have a report user button in chat - just noticed it isn't there any more!!
:? Or has it moved and I'm being daft as a bat again?
Hope your problems resolved Miss Kitty :smile:
We used to have a report user button in chat - just noticed it isn't there any more!!
:? Or has it moved and I'm being daft as a bat again?Hope your problems resolved Miss Kitty :smile:
Quote by anais
If you have a problem with someone in chat - report to Chat Op (purple people), elsewhere on site Mod (Green uns) or Admin (brown uns).
We used to have a report user button in chat - just noticed it isn't there any more!!
Hope your problems resolved Miss Kitty :smile:
Its gone.
We use two ops if we have any problems and have to say they both act straight away...they are both brill. If what has happened to this member is as she has said, then report it and am sure this scum bag, sorry member will be dealt with in the appropriate manner.
Quote by kentswingers777
If you have a problem with someone in chat - report to Chat Op (purple people), elsewhere on site Mod (Green uns) or Admin (brown uns).
We used to have a report user button in chat - just noticed it isn't there any more!!
Hope your problems resolved Miss Kitty :smile:
Its gone.
We use two opsif we have any problems and have to say they both act straight away...they are both brill. If what has happened to this member is as she has said, then report it and am sure this scum bag, sorry member will be dealt with in the appropriate manner.
Whats wrong with the other 10 then??
Sex God
Quote by keeno
Not really the same but.......
I went through a stage that whenever I posted here the same member would post a reply. The reply would always be disagree with me and be dismissive of my views or comments. So what? The first couple of times I thought we just didn't think alike but it went on for some time and I considered not posting again. I didn't feel I could complain as it would sound just a bit pathetic. In the end I came to believe I wasn't been stalked just a mild piece of bullying.
I have also had this. Except, i once asked them in an open forum(where they tried to belittle me) why they were doing it and for them to feel free to PM me with the reasons. Needless to say, i didn't hear from them and i don't think they have done it since.
Quote by Firelizard
If you have a problem with someone in chat - report to Chat Op (purple people), elsewhere on site Mod (Green uns) or Admin (brown uns).
We used to have a report user button in chat - just noticed it isn't there any more!!
Hope your problems resolved Miss Kitty :smile:
Its gone.
We use two opsif we have any problems and have to say they both act straight away...they are both brill. If what has happened to this member is as she has said, then report it and am sure this scum bag, sorry member will be dealt with in the appropriate manner.
Whats wrong with the other 10 then??
Nothing at all.
Its just these two we know, so we tend to contact them if we have any probs. It works for us. :lol:
Sex God
FB now worried that texting, emailing or 'phoning people might be misconstrued as stalking them.
Sex God
Quote by Whipsnspurs
i'm sure you are not being completely serious there fb, but it's the content that's involved as well.
for me it was the over pushiness and manner that put me off. i talk to people online all the time and have no probs with them. some have my personal number but very few. only one person from this site has my number coz i've learnt to be picky about it.
however, what you said made me think about whether someone else would see my person in the same way. or would they have liked his manner?
again i suppose it's down to content.
whips
Not completely serious, no. But it does make the point, along with your comments above, that the word 'stalking' is very subjective and what one person decides is stalking, another person may see as someone just being in contact by whatever means at the time. I don't even think it's just down to content, although I can see what you mean by that.
To put it another way, if you fancied/liked a person, then they'd be chasing you/chatting you up. Whereas if you don't fancy/like them, it could be seen as 'stalking'?
Quote by Freckledbird
i'm sure you are not being completely serious there fb, but it's the content that's involved as well.
for me it was the over pushiness and manner that put me off. i talk to people online all the time and have no probs with them. some have my personal number but very few. only one person from this site has my number coz i've learnt to be picky about it.
however, what you said made me think about whether someone else would see my person in the same way. or would they have liked his manner?
again i suppose it's down to content.
whips
Not completely serious, no. But it does make the point, along with your comments above, that the word 'stalking' is very subjective and what one person decides is stalking, another person may see as someone just being in contact by whatever means at the time. I don't even think it's just down to content, although I can see what you mean by that.
To put it another way, if you fancied/liked a person, then they'd be chasing you/chatting you up. Whereas if you don't fancy/like them, it could be seen as 'stalking'?
The demarcation is easy. It's related to frequency and how many are sent after the recipient says no more. If they say no and one carries on then that's the start of stalking, keep ignoring their entreaties then that is definitely stalking.
There are perks to being a twat sometimes, I never get stalkers
First of all, thanks everyone for your comments, it is a very difficult situation. I was totally honest about my situation and what I wanted, and I would have liked a meet with them eventually. But I was getting texts every hour, when I went into chatrooms I got whispered straight away, and then when I got the phone call it worried me. There is showing that your interested.. and then being overly pushy.. A lot more happened which I won't go into here, but it really did concern me, and my other half.
Haven't seen this person about today, and I hope I don't bump into them.. they probably are a really nice person, but not for me...
If anything else happens, I will contact the mods and let them know. It has happened once before since I have been on the site, and a quiet word from my other half sorted that one, although I contacted a mod, and they were willing to help if things got a bit much.
Maybe I used the wrong word, saying stalker.. but I really did feel vunerable at the time and it seemed to describe what was going on.
Haven't seen this person about today, and I hope I don't bump into them.. they probably are a really nice person, but not for me...
If anything else happens, I will contact the mods and let them know. It has happened once before since I have been on the site, and a quiet word from my other half sorted that one, although I contacted a mod, and they were willing to help if things got a bit much.
Maybe I used the wrong word, saying stalker.. but I really did feel vunerable at the time and it seemed to describe what was going on.
Sex God
Quote by Bonedigger
thats very true frex.....
I fancied someone, pre SH, and was on msn all the time for ages. chatting and flirting with them......then the novelty wore of and now its a pain in the arse to speak to them....and i just find them pushy and annoying now.
There you go - you've changed your mind about them so your perception of what they are doing has also changed. But it's not stalking, I'm sure you'll agree.
Stalking is actually illegal and (in my opinion)sinister, so it's quite a strong assertion, saying that someone is stalking you.
Quote by Bonedigger
thats very true frex.....
I fancied someone, pre SH, and was on msn all the time for ages. chatting and flirting with them......then the novelty wore of and now its a pain in the arse to speak to them....and i just find them pushy and annoying now.
This happenend to me to mrs b it got to the point where I always just instantly went offline so they didn't even know I was online!!. Then I just explained I was no longer interested and deleted them and barred them from my msn.
Miss Kitty, I would just echo that others have said, report it to a mod if it gets to much, and be a little less trusting when it comes to giving out your contact details.
Quote by Freckledbird
i'm sure you are not being completely serious there fb, but it's the content that's involved as well.
for me it was the over pushiness and manner that put me off. i talk to people online all the time and have no probs with them. some have my personal number but very few. only one person from this site has my number coz i've learnt to be picky about it.
however, what you said made me think about whether someone else would see my person in the same way. or would they have liked his manner?
again i suppose it's down to content.
whips
Not completely serious, no. But it does make the point, along with your comments above, that the word 'stalking' is very subjective and what one person decides is stalking, another person may see as someone just being in contact by whatever means at the time. I don't even think it's just down to content, although I can see what you mean by that.
To put it another way, if you fancied/liked a person, then they'd be chasing you/chatting you up. Whereas if you don't fancy/like them, it could be seen as 'stalking'?
I feel that the poster has or was being stalked. The definition is " harass or persecute with unwanted and obsessive attention ". Seems she was subjected to that.
Sex God
Quote by kentswingers777
I feel that the poster has or was being stalked. The definition is " harass or persecute with unwanted and obsessive attention ". Seems she was subjected to that.
Cambridge Online gives this definition:
'to illegally follow and watch someone, usually a woman, over a period of time'.
Suppose it depends where and how you define stalking, really? It is illegal though, so there's always the option of reporting the accused person to the police if it's that bad or upsetting.
Sex God
Quote by Misskitty_2008
I have recently been accused of leading someone on.. but I didn't. Everyone that knows me knows that I tell things straight, I don't wind people up. This person took what I said in a completely different way, and even posted an email I sent into a chatroom to embarrass me and to try and upset my other half, not knowing that we have access to each others accounts and email, and we read both all the time. It didn't work, and even though my other half had to talk to him personally to tell him to back off, it took a while for the penny to drop. He had been phoning (silly me for giving him my number, but even my other half thought he was ok as he had met him.) He had been emailing me and texting all the time... was starting to worry me...
Has anyone else on here been stalked, or fallen prey to stalker-ish people.. How did you deal with it? I would be interested to find out. I won't name and shame, but it really has put the willies up me.. no funny comments please... oh.. go one then!
If you don't want to post.. pm please xx thanks xx
I am tired today, and maybe I am missing something here.
BUT
1. Block this guy from your email account
2. Use the ignore button in your mail box and block him
3. Contact your mobile phone user and ask for a pay as you go free sim card, (t mobile sent me two recently) and use this as already has been said as your swinging number, and take it out of your phone at all other times, when you are not looking for meets.
4. Why when you have a single females account does another person have access to your account as you to theirs?, as it is in the AUP that is only allowed with permission of the site admin.
Your account is for your use and your use only, no third party is allowed to activate or use your account without previous consent from our Admin team.
If you block this person from your email and mailbox on this site, half your problem will be gone, and the Mods can get on with other more pressing things.
I block people all the time who don't take no!
Getting back in my box now.
In a previous life when I went into chat rooms I had a stalker who was totally malicious. No idea why I was the target but whenever I was in a chat room chatting with friends this guy would turn up. Him and his friends would clone my user name and make up totally false and obscene profiles for me complete with carefully edited photos. I was a whore who worked for loose change etc etc and this attention was relentless. You can say that this was all typed and online and therefore not harmful but you would be wrong. It was very hurtful and completely ruined my enjoyment of chatting. How did I deal with it? Some friends and I turned detective and started to track this person in an effort to find out their ISP etc and once we found this out and confronted the person they began to back off, especially when the Police were mentioned.
It only really stopped when the user rooms closed down, but I have every sympathy with anyone who is having unwanted attention from someone on line because it IS real and it IS painful and harmful and don't let anyone tell you any different.
It only really stopped when the user rooms closed down, but I have every sympathy with anyone who is having unwanted attention from someone on line because it IS real and it IS painful and harmful and don't let anyone tell you any different.
I got involved with a married woman about 20 years ago. The stalking didn't really start until after we hit it off. So I wasn't prepared for it and didn't realise what was happening until some time into the affair.
Anyway as soon as we'd begun sex she was on the phone several times a day. She wrote letters, did a few loopy things to get my attention.
Looking back on it all now, I can see that she had all the credentials for being a stalker, but probably didn't realise it herself. About a year later I had to devise a long term plan to dump her. And it took another year to do that. She was just so persistant and wouldn't accept that we were going nowhere.
Anyway as soon as we'd begun sex she was on the phone several times a day. She wrote letters, did a few loopy things to get my attention.
Looking back on it all now, I can see that she had all the credentials for being a stalker, but probably didn't realise it herself. About a year later I had to devise a long term plan to dump her. And it took another year to do that. She was just so persistant and wouldn't accept that we were going nowhere.
