Where's the cowardly Scots woman?

17 Feb 2004

Has anyone seen a crazed and frightened Pictish wench skulking around somewhere?
What's all this "Nemo me impune lacessit" nonsense then? It's actually pretty hard to provoke them with impunity when they creep in (at the time they know you will be out) put up a blustering post and scuttle out and lock the thread behind them before you can reply!! mad

:x
Jags - you're Wonderful!! kiss

and still a bit cowardly!
In case you didn't hear that, I said Jags, you're a WONDERFUL coward!! (at least that's what Kat, Fred, SteveG and a whole host of others have told me) dunno

Now, as I have said elsewhere. Scotland is OK. In fact it is rather quaint. All that plaid and shortbread. Selling joke trousers to American tourists because nobody over here is sufficiently clueless about fashion to wear them. That's fine.
But for goodness sake! This pretence at nationhood. Will you STOP IT!! evil

Oh do calm down, Sappho. She won't really hurt me. Have another glass of Rawson's Retreat my darling. rolleyes

Come on JAGS - show yourself duel

Sappho, please stop worrying!
How bad can it be? :dunno:
She is a) Scottish, b) female and c) WATCHING YOUR EVERY WORD! Well, now that you have finally plucked up the courage to crawl out from under your duvet you are, yes!
Oh, and you're going to get thrashed in the rugby as well.
Run or be thrashed was it? I am waiting. Come and thrash me if you think you're hard enough!!! :evil2:
I won't even need Fred or Arti for this. Piece of cake! :twisted: :twisted:

17 Feb 2004

As a last Will and Testemant (pun intended) that post was mighty colorful and certainly original......

17 Feb 2004

Quote by willxx69
She is a) Scottish, b) female and c) NOT HERE!
Oh, and you're going to get thrashed in the rugby as well.

*smiles sweetly and prepares for the Scotland munch*
:twisted:

17 Feb 2004

Quote by BlueEyes
*smiles sweetly and prepares for the Scotland munch*
:twisted:

Oh shit!! :shock:
Ahem! I mean - bring it on wench!! :twisted:
(what am I saying???? :doh smile

Gulp
Fred??? Sappho?

17 Feb 2004

Perhaps this is the start of a "novel way to commit suicide" string?

Quote by Will the serpent tongued Uriah Heep
Jags, you're a coward!! (at least that's what Kat told me)

Jags honey, don't believe him. I never said you were hard. passionkiss

assionkiss:

And I never said you were hard either Kate - so we are quits!

Oh, BTW, Jags has retired to bed, but I am sure she will be thrilled to read this in the morning.
lhk

17 Feb 2004

{sniffs the air}
Is that the smell of bridges burning ? lol

Carpathian

17 Feb 2004

Will......you really must stop sniffing that barmaid's apron! :shock:
Been off line for a couple of days and and all hell seems to have broken loose. Even I know better than to bait the PJ's.
Steve

17 Feb 2004

Quote by Jags
Oh, BTW, Jags has retired to bed, but I am sure she will be thrilled to read this in the morning.

You mean she is cowering under the duvet?
Typical!! rolleyes

17 Feb 2004

*fondly remembers the time DJohn said "bring it on"*
:twisted:

17 Feb 2004

Sappho adopts best Emma Thompson frown and earnest delivery
Dear Friends,
I feel I should say a word in defence of poor Will. I know you must be questioning his sanity at the present time and you would be right. He's been under a terrible strain recently, and the long miles between Berkshire and Shropshire have taken their toll. Frankly, it's the sex - it's just gone to his head.
Therefore I plead your indulgence, and in particular that of our Scots cousins. If needs be I will prostrate myself before you in his defence and you will have to get to him through me. Please form an orderly queue.
Yours,
Sappho xxx
PS: Don't worry, he's in safe hands, a quill-embroidered strait-jacket is being prepared by my own fair hands.

17 Feb 2004

I walk back in after a few days away and I see that the Hapless Will has stumbled into yet another disaster of his own making.............. :cry:
May I make a small suggestion here Will...... wink

You have a little less that 4 days (four, i repeat FOUR!) to sort this mess out, or you my friend are cannon fodder........
Jags, keep the blood off the carpet please hun.....
Me? rolleyes

Second you........ confused

Are you having a giraffe Will? :shock:
Even I have to sit this one out and become a spectator! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Fred

18 Feb 2004

Imagines being trussed up in a quill-embroidered straight jacket and being at the complete mercy of Sappho who is wearing long leather boots, leather mini-skirt, stockings and thong!!
Where do I sign? :twisted: :twisted:

18 Feb 2004

Ahhh, Fred, my man! wave

There you are! Just like you to materialise when the trouble is about to start! rolleyes

It's OK, you can watch. I won't need a second for this. She is only a dotty Weegie bint. I almost feel cruel. Do you think I should tie one hand behind my back to let her think she has a chance? dunno

18 Feb 2004

Sod the straight jacket - I'll just go for being at her mercy - I can behave you know!
Thing is - will Jags let her have a pick over the pieces once she has finished with you?
Fred

18 Feb 2004

Why, oh why, oh why did I choose this time to break my ankle?!!!
I am available for text updates all weekend!!! lol

18 Feb 2004

Thing is - will Jags let her have a pick over the pieces once she has finished with you?

So long as he can continue to play his organ, Fred. That's all that counts.
Sappho - who has now given up all hope.

18 Feb 2004

You choose to break it? confused

:?
WOW! :shock: :shock:
Tough or what these scots lassies with the small hands? :cry:
*sighs*
Fred

18 Feb 2004

Quote by BlueEyes
Why, oh why, oh why did I choose this time to break my ankle?!!!

Oh yes!!!
I remember now that you CHICKENED OUT of coming to see us this weekend! Worried about the rugby? :twisted:
Thinks : Hey I am getting into the swing of this now! (Fred and Kat whisper encouragement into Will's ears and then run off sniggering) dunno

18 Feb 2004

Quote by FredFlintstone
You choose to break it? :?
WOW! :shock: :shock:
Tough or what these scots lassies with the small hands? :cry:
*sighs*
Fred

A small moment of sobriety whilst walking in snow...I'll never be caught out like that again!!!!
Will...scared of the rugby score? I'll make sure the Calcutta Cup is present at the munch (oh yes, I have my ways). It'll be the only time you Englishshire people touch it this year!! :twisted:

18 Feb 2004

Will go for it guy ... the forces of albion will not prevail.......... but hey does one not respect a guy who is prepared to lay his balls upon the line!!!!!!!!!!
Still wetting myself at the bravery of a 16th C poet
Gman

18 Feb 2004

Quote by Will
Thinks : Hey I am getting into the swing of this now!

Ah - Swing! That may be just where you end up Will :twisted:

Quote by BlueEyes
I am available for text updates all weekend!!!

I'll take pictures Blue Eyes

Quote by Will
sniggering

only if sniggering involves being curled up in a ball, belly aching, eyes streaming, lauging so loud it is setting off car alarms for miles around,
lhk

18 Feb 2004

Quote by KitKat
I'll take pictures Blue Eyes

Thank you, Kat!!!
I might even let you write on my plaster for that (as long as it's not too rude!!!)

18 Feb 2004

Quote by FredFlintstone
Tough or what these scots lassies with the small hands?

Hence the words of the poet -
"(i do not know what it is about you that frightens
and scares me surprised

nly something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all Titans)
nobody,not even Lorraine,has such small hands"

18 Feb 2004

LOL!!!! :twisted:
I am proud of my small hands!! And if one more person calls me Jeremy Beadle, they are for it!!!

18 Feb 2004

:shock:
Ermmm. I don't suppose you have any of that raspberry beer left do you blissed? It seems to do you the power of good lol

Quote by BlueEyes
And if one more person calls me Jeremy Beadle, they are for it!!!

YOU ARE IT WILL!
Oh, come on! She asked for that! rolleyes

Besides, how fast can she hobble anyway?

Quote by Jags
I AM BECOMING INCREASINGLY FANTASTIC !!!!

Quote by Will
We know dear, but we do make allowances!!

18 Feb 2004

I'm actually out of it at present Will, left it behind in the GFZ and SOMEBODY TIDIED IT UP. Bah. My local has it though, if you make it up to the McMunch...

18 Feb 2004

Will, I can't wait to meet you!! kiss

*smiles sweetly*

18 Feb 2004

Oh trust me BlueEyes, you've a treat in store.

18 Feb 2004

:happy:
So has Will!! He's been a bit cheeky the last few days!!!
And he need not think Sappho will come to his rescue then!!!!
:twisted:

18 Feb 2004

Quote by BlueEyes
So has Will!! He's been a bit cheeky the last few days!!!

He has a bit, hasn't he? It'll all end in tears. Or possibly Scotland. I suspect he's working on a second Scottish Play. Come on Will, come clean - are you penning "McConnell" as we speak?

And he need not think Sappho will come to his rescue then!!!!
:twisted:

No, but I expect she'll want a ringside seat and a large glass of Glayva :smile2: