Hi Pumpkin hunny, pencil me down for now please, and I'll see if I can confirm closer to the time xx
There's a clique? Where's the application form and induction process to be a member?
from the perspective of being the spectator, or on the receiving end, the most common I see is:
1) The male half would like me to play with his partner, but she's making movements and shuffles of feet indicating she wouldn't even if I was the last man on earth - for me that's a definite no no, I don't want a lady that feels coerced into anything.
2) the female half wants to play, but the male half is feeling (dare I say) insecure - I've been in more than one or two scrapes where they basically started "quietly debating the values of their marriage" infront of me. I tend to excuse myself wit "I'll go get a drink" or "I'll give you a few minutes", or the ever unfailing "If its ok, I'll leave things for now, I'm on email".
Whilst I prefer to hear both "Yes", I'd rather hear both "No" than indecision - it scares me!
Very simply, rude, ill-mannered, all forms of disrespect and in my opinion, it reveals a weak human being.
I was trying to arrange a meet with a lady (based outside London), her difficulty being "she doesn't come to London often, unless for work which can be once in 4 months), no problem, time will come about.
I later found out she actually comes to London every two weeks (and I now know who she meets! Yet she insists on her discretion - sad eh?) When I raised her lack of honesty with her, all she sad was "I never promised you anything!". Wow.
True, she doesn't owe me a thing - but I imagine she's out there hoping people will afford her some honesty - double standards or convenience?
I don't have time for such rude people they can crawl back under the rock from whence they came.
To be honest, when I saw this title I thought "What now???..." so had to read.
Its as though every week there's a new whinge about what one single male or the other has done (usually perfectly acceptable if done by a couple or single fem) or some dinlow (sp) of a chap whispering without asking permission (ps: As a single male, the unspoken rule is to be grateful when I receive such a whisper from a female or couple)
With regards to the "NO SINGLE MALES!", I fully understand why some people put that (not saying its right way to communicate, but I understand), however I've found putting "NO TIMEWASTERS!" on my profile doesn't make such females or couples think "Oops, I'm a timewaster - he clearly doesn't want me then!".
So,...
Mids hunny, thank you for this - its been a slow day, my flat-mate hunting exercise isn't going as planned, and my computer hates me, but through it all you've warmed my heart and put a smile on my face.
You deserve a bug hug and kiss, which you're more than welcome to redeem at a time of your own choosing xxxxx
Damn,
I'm so excited I can't sleep!
May a stranger enter?
PS: Offer of chaperon for the evening stands, any takers please drop me a PM - I'm house-trained. ;)
Oops! Where's me towel gone?
Simply? Couples that swap partners based on the original and pure "Strangers car keys in fruit bowl" days.
Everyone else is just a fecking pervert - myself top of that list!
I think the question here is time.
How long of continuous communication would make "feeling each other out" (oer!) become "email tennis". At one point I got so irritated I put on my profile "If you'd prefer to chat continuously for 6 - 9 months first, then I might not be right for you" as I had wasted time on countless women who "wanted to be friends first before deciding" over 10, 12.. 14 months. The current record is 18 months (but had met q fair few times at different socials - at the end of which I jokingly dropped in "So, you think we should take the next step?" to which they implied "Am still thinking about it, haven't decided".
Fuck me! If you haven't decided afterall this time, that's as loud a hint as any!
I've seen the said attempts at verification, all I can say to it is they might argue that they acknowledge that whilst whatever system in place may not be perfect, at least attempting to control/get rid/reduce the number of timewasters and let the legitimate swingers carry on is better than sitting idly by, harbouring them and and letting life continue as if we're in ignorant bliss.
If a free site can see the need, then surely paid members deserve a little bit more? (Why anyone would pay to become a timewaster is beyond me, but hey, I don't claim to understand the mind of a timewaster - am to busy looking to have fun and a shag or two!)
I've just noticed, a quick scan of random posts on threads, several posters forum signature (including some mods/Ops) as having some form of positive comment about them from another member.
Yes, its all a bit of a laugh, but no one would really put that there if it did not happen, irrespective of the context.
So, bearing in mind its just one or two comments usually, would we class that as (self-) verification or lack of discretion?
Okay,
An example of how research, as opposed to verification can fail" - bearing in mind you can't possibly ask every question possible in the hope of finding that one magic question that determines "Ah! I better stay away then":
I arranged to meet a young lady in town at 8pm one day for a drink. Some know the London Underground can be unpredictable, I arrived at (was hoping to arrive and impress her that I got there first, but oh well).
She wasn't there - I waited till then rang her but couldn't reach her (she was underground). Eventually got through at (ish), she said She was there at 8pm as agreed and I wasn't, and she doesn't appreciate tardiness nor timewasters as she was a busy person and had to be across town at for a 9pm appointment.
My bad or her bad? (4 mins ffs!)
She hadn't mentioned anything about being elsewhere at 9pm - since then though, I'm sure to mention "So we'll have at least a couple of hours to ourselves, or if you're in a rush we can arrange for a different date/time?", doesn't mean I've covered all possible basis - every question I ask (apart from the obvious) are based one one previous "experience" or other - which I could have learned about given enough information to start with.
I'm not sure I get the "straw-man" analogy (clutching at straws? I'm don't agree, but that's debatable)
Yes, I accept unlike health, timewasters are more of a personal impact - but on an individual basis. What about the sum of numerous individual opi
nions?
You're saying you don't read reviews? (Clubs/resturants/movies). IF I said "Nah, Cat Chaser was rubbish, I snored through it" and next 6 random people you asked all said the same, despite the impacts to you being merely a wasted afternoon/evening, would you still go see it? Rent it? Play it on date-night?
If enough people said "Yeah, I went to that new resturant - good food, delicious and quick - but the service was lousy and the food was overpriced" then you have an informed opinion on whether to go or not.
All of these are not health-risking or life threatening scenarios, however they still apply some "research" on your part - unless you're one of the few that can walk into any movie/resturant with zero information, no review looked up,and confident you'll have a well spent time. And even then, what percentage of people are there? I'm thinking wider population.
As for previous poster (Fem? apologies for abbreviating), yes, you see the pictures and communicate and try to suss them out if legit or not but that isn't perfect, and certainly not for everyone. Besides, it takes time - I'm not suggesting "everyone rushes into meets (some prefer to take their time, some avoid email tennis), I know people that I've seen their pictures, seen them on cam, chatted to them over the phone, had a laugh for months (one person, 14 months because she didn't like rushing into things), only for her to not follow through - upon having a chat with someone at a social elsewhere int he country, they happened to know this very lady and said "You wanna watch out for that one - she'd burned a few folks, you got away lucky!"
Why? Cause there was no verification to give insight into what people were up against. And she knew it!
and i think you know who i am lol
