Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Argt05
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Male
UK

Forum

Quote by winchwench
depends......are you on broadband or dial up lol

Thats your answer to everything :dry:
not really ask me a question :lol:
i'm going to regret this arnt i
whats vasovagal syncope?
depends................are you on broadband or dial up rolleyes
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :laughabove:
Boss, must advise against all that rolling around- one of your Angels might need to throw themselves underneath you to prevent you harming yourself!
Point Taken
I'd better give you a warning when I need A SLAG MATRESS next time.
innocent
Quote by markz
depends......are you on broadband or dial up lol

Thats your answer to everything :dry:
not really ask me a question :lol:
i'm going to regret this arnt i
whats vasovagal syncope?
depends................are you on broadband or dial up rolleyes
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :laughabove:
Quote by varca
I like a woman shaved or trimmed and a guy to be trimmed but not shaved ( shiny balls should only ever be seen on a Xmas tree :shock: )
I find hairy nethers very scary :scared: and make me want to get the lawn mower out

Saved me typing, thanks Sassy, my thoughts entirely kiss :thumbup:
Mine aren't Shiny, Fook no, they're bloody filthy actually. Well it's been that long since I had a Shag, I keep gettin them dirty on the floor cos I've been using the Fookers As Space Hoppers!!
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Quote by MrsFC

But I prefer my men natural and not groomed dunno
I love a pair of hairy bollox :giggle:
:shock:
I like them all smoothso that I can do unspeakable things to them in mouth :rascal: But I like a groomed man everywhere else cool
*** ARGT05 Makes MrsFC his official SACK & SHAFT SHAVER ***
innocent
Quote by kittysin
I couldnt find out how to design my own sad

After the sexy lady say's 'where do you want it?' the tattoo parlour page should load. Choice of 4 body locations on left, click one. Choice of design top right, click one. Then type wording below and hit apply.
If it's not coming up, maybe your flash player's not up to date.
Hey She's one of my SLAGS...FFS don't mention Flashin rolleyes
rotflmao
Quote by winchwench
Dear Bossman,
an update. We have assembled so far a team of four to protect you. We have our logistics operative, Firelizard; Mrs FC, who'se specialty is liasing (undercovers) with the covert ops dept.; SassySeren, a Succubi ( rolleyes Google it!) And myself, the Martial Artist.
Applications are invited for other specialist roles (to be made up as we see fit- well whos gonna argue?) to my PM box.
I hope that I was not too lumpy under your bed last night, Sir.

You kiddin? With that body, I couldnt sleep if I tried with that underneath me!!!
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :thumbup:
What Fookin Bed tho... I didn't get to bed and went to work this morning lookin like a right fookin Lump of Poo!!!..... So Many SLAG's to Interview and the process is Killin me. Where The Fook was Pete when I needed him!
rotflmao :rotflmao:
Ehem.... Carry on My Bad Woman!!!! You're doin a good job, keep it up for me....don't think I got the strength to do it myself tonight!!!!
Report back ASAP.
***NEW SLAG MISSION COMING SOON***
Quote by de_sade
That's pretty snazzy.
Tho' I prefer the actuality myself.
:twisted:

I agreeeeeee ouch!!!!!!!!! :cry:
Cool site tho wink
In Plaster and Wheelchair for 16 Weeks when both my feet got crushed in accident, then months of not being able to do anything and Actually losing my balance as I'd not been on my feet for 5 months when I first walked again. :sad:
We can laugh about it now!!! :huh:
You have my sympathy
wink
Quote by Pete_sw
Woohoo! I made it into the club!! biggrin
Not quite sure of my position as yet... something creative perhaps! :rascal:
EDIT: Creativity Department! wink
Can I have a pic please hornylittleblonde? lol

knew you would :wink:
Can you blame me for letting her join ???? boink
Quote by MrsFC
Willxx69 kiss you are always tooooo willing, let me wait on you as the new wench is tarting all over the place !!! he really needs reigning in........God help me its gonna be hard rolleyes

Reign away my dear woman!
lol
The riegn in vain will cause you pain, the riegning of pain will be in vain.
Gotta catch me if ya wanna get me!!
When I get hold of you ! You will be in pain :lol: Do you need a checker for your poor in consistant spelling :twisted:
Or punishment can be given :twisted:
Promusis Promusis
I can't help it if i'm I-liter-a lot
Now, ypu were sayin something about hold me and pain?
grrrrreat!
ARGT05 drops his pants for mrsfc to whip! lol
Quote by MrsFC
Willxx69 kiss you are always tooooo willing, let me wait on you as the new wench is tarting all over the place !!! he really needs reigning in........God help me its gonna be hard rolleyes

Reign away my dear woman!
lol
The riegn in vain will cause you pain, the riegning of pain will be in vain.
Gotta catch me if ya wanna get me!!
Quote by MrsFC
ARGT05 stumbles in....
Way too tired, to lift glass to mouth, need pampering tonight!
Voda straight please someone!
And can somebody take my shoes of my feet, I can't bend down that far
:cry:

Argt !!! In my office now please !>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Wenching Duty isn't over till Monday morning
orrrr...

smackbottom Orrrrrrrrr...........don't question me .............follow me and I will explain the
need to follow through a task wink
Follow you?
Where?
What ya gonna do to me?
Should I bring my bodyguard?
Are you gonna use that whip?
Am I in trouble?
Do I smell?
Is indigo really a colour or just someone passing comment?
Ok....... i'm coming, oops!
:wink:
Boys and girl, breathe in deeply and slowly.
Right!
Winchwench, firstly get you're logo and add you're status as Chief Bodyguard to ARGT05 on it, then assemble my other angels and then let me know who you've chosen!
Mrfc do a full run down on possible angels for me, I think I can trust her! (she hits quite hard when you call her vanilla)
Pete, you're job is to interview the angels, along with mrfc after he's reported back to me with info!
I'll see to winchwench myself
;/
rolleyes
Quote by Dirtygirlie

Started something and it snowballed!!
It's called SLAG CENTRAL
tee hee.... wink

I realise this isn't for girls... but can I poke my head in and see whether newbie CV's are acceptable in your club?! lol
If you're Talkin about SLAG CENTRAL, then send you're cv away....
Pronto!! :wink:
Quote by winchwench
See, we posted simultaneousy (?) I deserve to be a S.L.A.G!

simultaneousy is a requirement of the training, it will of course take several attempts to achieve so i think i will have to take your training in hand personally :rascal:
Train me? Im not an official S.L.A.G yet! rolleyes
It would seem that due to simultaneous postings, master Argt has overlooked my application. :cry:
Hmmmm.... are you sure you're up for this ARGT05's Angels?
Quote by MrsFC
ARGT05 stumbles in....
Way too tired, to lift glass to mouth, need pampering tonight!
Voda straight please someone!
And can somebody take my shoes of my feet, I can't bend down that far
:cry:

Argt !!! In my office now please !>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Wenching Duty isn't over till Monday morning
orrrr...
Quote by LadyFeeBee
ARGT05 stumbles in....
Way too tired, to lift glass to mouth, need pampering tonight!
Voda straight please someone!
And can somebody take my shoes of my feet, I can't bend down that far
:cry:

And what have you been up to young man?? cool
Fee
XX :cry:
Started something and it snowballed!!
It's called SLAG CENTRAL
tee hee.... wink
Quote by winchwench
Dear Sir,
I am writing to apply for official S.L.A.G status. I realise that the competition is fierce for this coveted title. However, having circumnavigated the block on countless occasions I feel that my experience is second to none. Furthermore, my credentials are further boosted by having won a Silver medal in the London Taekwondo Championships last year. This would enable me to multi task, acting as a personal bodyguard for yourself or any of the other notable dignitries in need of protection at S.L.A.G H.Q.*
In fact, I would advise that a man such as yourself would benefit from his own protection squad. May I suggest "Argt's Angels" as a title? I would of course be prepared to sacrifice my spare time to train the ladies of "Argt's Angels" in the art of undraped combat personally.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I look forward to hearing from you at the earliest opportunity.
Yours sincerely,
Mrs
*code for let me in or I'll drop an axe kick on your head.

Hmmmm....pondering!!!
Of course an impressive covering letter, and you're comments duly noted! I shall hereby decree upon you, the glorious status or Chief Body Guard of Myself ARGT05 BOSSMAN,
You're first task is to assemble a team of elite Female Slags, not Man Whore's within the organization to not only defend me if the need arose, but to seek out any infedels who may threaten our exsistence!
And one last thing....
I need to see you in my office for a moment please!
Mrfc-- throw me you're hand cuffs FFS! wink
If anyone calls, i'm tied up...
now where were we, oh yeah, that kick thing can you get you're foot higher than you're head?
OH FUCK!!!!!
Quote by Pete_sw
As i was officially the first 'Man Whore' in the group, can i be the official ' Slag Tester' please :rascal:

Pete, Some of my New recruits are going to have to go through rigorous on site training and development, here at SLAG CENTRAL.
I'll be looking for volunteers from my male executive's to assist me in preparing these women, with their new found status. I'm not going to lie, or pretend that this is going to be easy...in fact it might get a little bit dirty!
Do you think you're up for the challenge, possibly of you're lifetime?
Think of the rewards.... the pleasure of seeing these women transformed into blossoming, genuine Slags... ahhh, it makes me shiver just thinking about they're happy little faces looking back at us out of the patrol car!
A job well done, my friend, well done indeed..
You in?
Its a tough job sir, but someone has to do it, rely onn me to do my duty :rascal:
course I'm bloody in man :lol2:
*news flash*
pete_sw promoted to Training & Development Officer within SLAG CENTRAL
and Mrfc Head of Covert Operations. New title- Inspector Mrfc
ARGT05 stumbles in....
Way too tired, to lift glass to mouth, need pampering tonight!
Voda straight please someone!
And can somebody take my shoes of my feet, I can't bend down that far
:cry:
Quote by Pete_sw
As i was officially the first 'Man Whore' in the group, can i be the official ' Slag Tester' please :rascal:

Pete, Some of my New recruits are going to have to go through rigorous on site training and development, here at SLAG CENTRAL.
I'll be looking for volunteers from my male executive's to assist me in preparing these women, with their new found status. I'm not going to lie, or pretend that this is going to be easy...in fact it might get a little bit dirty!
Do you think you're up for the challenge, possibly of you're lifetime?
Think of the rewards.... the pleasure of seeing these women transformed into blossoming, genuine Slags... ahhh, it makes me shiver just thinking about they're happy little faces looking back at us out of the patrol car!
A job well done, my friend, well done indeed..
You in?
Quote by Hungrypussy69
I don't think I want to be a SLAG, such a horrid word. wink
I prefer SLUT. Think I'll be a Sensational Lascivious Uber Temptress :twisted:
:thumbup: blast hump flipa

It`s because of this thread:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/96591.html
that we picked the horridest word. smile
Of corse it is... we all wanna be as nasty and downright dirty as can be...
and for the record, anyone who has a name or username that may have some resemblance to Cats, then I and my fellow Cat Haters but Pussy Likers, apologize, it's most definitely not you we don't like! It's them dirty little barstewards that have four legs, and fur and oh god... Steam Room Please
rolleyes
Quote by Kiss
Dear Sir/Madam,
I really feel that a position at Slag Central is without doubt a job for me!
I would appreciate if you would consider me and of course a sexier picture for the works notice board can be submitted upon request.
Kind Regards
Kiss (Miss)

Dear Miss Kiss,
thankyou for you're application. I have no doubt you'd be an excellent addition to our Establishment, please submit you're most Dirty Slag photo to my pm office, immediately !
ARGT05 BOSSMAN
My atavar will have to do.
cool
Well, as you were the first to want the logo, Welcome.
Get you're new logo from HLB and remember You're a real SLAG CENTRAL SLAG now, so act like one!
Argt
Quote by Trixie_female
OO can I be an official slag too ? Please ? I would send u a cv, but that’s not the traditional slag way – thought I could just hide under ur desk and suck u off during a meeting. How about it ? lol
PS. Do u have any plans to prevent Bootleg slagging ???

You're in!!
Bootleg slagging as you refer to it will NOT be tolerated.
Those who ingulge in this practice will be severely dealt with.
We are appointing Official SLAG CENTRAL Community Beat Officers who will report directly to our HQ, with any findings.
Those found to be in copyright breach will be summonsed before a specially selected committee and Told to prove their SLAG Credentials.. Those found guilty may never see light from under the Bed Linen again....
Well done and welcome get you're logo from HLB and get out there and be a SLAG
ARGT05 BOSSMAN
Quote by sercher01
bein a" man whore" dose that make me 2.I.C ? cool

I have a special post for you my friend
HEAD OF WE HATE CATS BUT WE DO LIKE PUSSY OPERATIONS
A fitting role for such an enthusiastic Cat Hater/Pussy Lover I think!
Quote by Kiss
Dear Sir/Madam,
I really feel that a position at Slag Central is without doubt a job for me!
I would appreciate if you would consider me and of course a sexier picture for the works notice board can be submitted upon request.
Kind Regards
Kiss (Miss)

Dear Miss Kiss,
thankyou for you're application. I have no doubt you'd be an excellent addition to our Establishment, please submit you're most Dirty Slag photo to my pm office, immediately !
ARGT05 BOSSMAN
Quote by MrFC
Dear Mr Argt05
I thank you for you generosity...... the position you have afforded me is truly beyond words I'm tongue tied.
As a hater of cats but a lover of pussy, does this position extend to the stroking of pussy in order to assess the quality and quantity. After all we wouldn't want to be prosecuted under the Inferior pussy hair act" of 2007.

Of course my good man, this position extends to trims, waxes and plucking too!
Mrfc Official member of SLAG CENTRAL
Department: Pussy Hair and Research
Quote by Freckledbird
Ooooooooooo I'm someone's pin-up :shock:

Of course you are, now get you're application in pronto! cv and pics please! wink
Quote by MrFC
Dear Mr Argt05,
Now, i've noticed your members always seem to be ready to please, they are helpful, always ready to assist newcumers.
So I suggest a slogan is needed after all every successfull business has a slogan, may I suggest..............
SLAGHEAP
SwingingLoving Argt05 Girls Helpful Experienced Always Poised
Mrfc consultant to the Pros.

Dear Mrfc,
you're enthusiasm is pleasing to say the very least, and I applaud the time and effort put into such a well planned and thoughtful slogan.
As you're probably aware i'm a busy BOSSMAN and help like this is greatly received. I will point in the direction of my marketing assistant HLB to get me a final draft etc.
And in recognition of you're loyal service, I award you membership and also the chance to interview potential Slags with me.
A coveted and glorious opportunity I think you'll agree.
Well done and keep up the good work!
ARGT05 BOSSMAN
Quote by Sarah
Oii
What about me???
I might be miles away, but I seem to be missing out here!! lol

Just pm me you're cv along with pics to prove you're SLAG, then pretty much...
You're in. Don't forget, personal interviews maybe required to verify some members Slag Levels, and constant on going supervision and management is going to be compulsory.
pm box is down below!
xxx
SLAG CENTRAL BOSSMAN