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Aristophanes
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 72
0 miles · Monmouthshire

Forum

Quote by kentswingers777
I have a small car. I sometimes get tailgated. I never do more than 50mph, even on a motorway. I save a lot of fuel that way. If anyone comes up behind me they can wait. And if they persist in tailgating me then I slow down a bit and they wait even longer.

That is exactly how accidents are caused.
On motorways I hate the people who go below 60mph in the middle lane, you want to do that then go into the inside lane. The problem with only doing 50mph on a motorway is that lorries will overtake you, which means they then pull out onto faster moving cars in the middle lane.
Most people will agree that nowadays 70mph is too slow on a motorway. I cannot ever imagine doing 50 on a motorway.
Sorry Kent but I disagree with you. If I drive on an A road at 50 mph and some impatient driver comes up behind me lights flashing, horn hooting why should I get out of their way? Who the hell do they think they are that they should treat another road user in such an arrogant way. If , heaven forbid, an accident should ensue, it would not be caused by the driver in front with clear road in front them, it would be caused by the impatient arrogance of the driver behind.
I often come across drivers slower than myself. I don't crawl up their arse. I just wait until a safe spot to overtake.
When I drive on motorways I realise that others may not want to drive at 50mph so I keep to the nearside lane.
Lorries do over take sure, but its never a problem. As for speed, I don't understand why the whole world seems to be in a rush. I think we should lower our speed limits all round not increase them. Perhaps we wouldn't have such carnage when things do go wrong.
Seeing my wife (in the days when I was married) having sex with another guy was a total turn on. In subsequent relationships, the more emotionally involved I was, the bigger the turn on. I've never understood why. Strange.
I have a small car. I sometimes get tailgated. I never do more than 50mph, even on a motorway. I save a lot of fuel that way. If anyone comes up behind me they can wait. And if they persist in tailgating me then I slow down a bit and they wait even longer.
I remember years ago, in a nursing home I worked in, two people in their 80's starting a sexual relationship. The chap involved even asked one of the male carers if he would go into town and get some condoms for him. Most of the staff thought it was wonderful that this elderly resident was so thoughtful.
Quote by Freckledbird
Ari, it'd still get missed and people would post jokes starting a new thread.

Yes, I do take your point Frecklebird. I think you're right. Perhaps more people should share their jokes with us even if it means a new thread and one which would be locked straight away.
My own dreadful offering last week was offered as a light hearted foil to the "heavy" posts that seemed to be happening.
It would be nice to see more jokes on the forum though.
Quote by flower411
I talk about sex to anybody ...
Friends...
Family...
People I meet ...
In chat rolleyes
Mainly because I`m a bit of a tart and i`m looking for opportunities...
I talk about other stuff ...but sex is on my mind in most situations :shock:
That`s normal ....isn`t it ?? :shock:

I think it's very normal and natural. What I find not normal and unnatural is the repression that has become ingrained in various ( though not all ) human societies. Wouldn't you just love to live in one of those Bonobo (sp?) chimp troops that shag all and sundry all day long. I know I would! That, to me is natural and I think that they are our nearest relatives among the primates.
Keep on being normal!
I think it would be nice to have a perpetual joke thread. One that would contain nothing but jokes one after the other. It could be an openly flippant thread. If anyone wanted to take issue with a joke posted, they could PM the poster or open it in a more "serious" new topic.
I'm sure it would be an antidote to some of the bad feeling that goes on here sometimes.
Just got rid of a camper van this year. I do miss it. I'd go anywhere there was a coast path to walk. I love scrambling up rugged coast paths and then getting back to the van and drinking gallons of tea, munching tonnes of digestive biscuits whilst reading from a great pile of books I'd taken on holiday with me.
Wonderful stuff!
My all time favourite is "Miracle in Rome". A Mexican film. Only seen it once. That was in 1988. Spanish with English sub titles. The stunning ending has had a lasting impact on me to this day. I've tried to get it on dvd but it's not been produced for area 2. Anyone else here seen it?
Others are : Master and Commander
Hero (Wonderful Photography)
300
Lots of others. Too many to put down.
My all time favourite is "Miracle in Rome". A Mexican film. Only seen it once. That was in 1988. Spanish with English sub titles. The stunning ending has had a lasting impact on me to this day. I've tried to get it on dvd but it's not been produced for area 2. Anyone else here seen it?
Others are : Master and Commander
Hero (Wonderful Photography)
300
Lots of others. Too many to put down.
I did without a telly for years. I've only got one now because my sister buys me a tv license as a birthday prezzie each year. Might tell her to stop as there's so much rubbish on the box. Sure, there are some good things on that I would find interesting. But they seem to be few and far between these days. I accept it's a personal taste thing. When Wales goes digital in 2010 I wont be bothering with it. Got plenty of books here I can get stuck into and there's always iPlayer for those good documentaries.
My sister sent me a birthday card with this awful joke on. Thought I’d share it with you as you all get in from work!
Quasimodo died and the bishop had nobody to ring the cathedral bells so he advertised the post. Lots of people came forward but none were suitable. As he was about to give up hope he heard a voice crying out,
“Am I too late?”
and saw a man rushing up the bell tower steps. Then to his dismay the bishop noticed the man had no arms.
“How can you possibly be of any use?” he cried to the man.
“Watch!” he replied.
With that the man grasped the pull rope in his mouth and proceeded to ring the bell. And beautifully too. Suddenly he lost his grip and fell from the bell tower to his death. The bishop joined the crowd that had gathered below.
“Did anyone know him?” he asked. A voice called out,
“No but his face rings a bell”
Oh dear, I told you it was awful. Byeeeee
bolt
Quote by Bonedigger
I teach guitar for a living and some of the middle aged mums of a few of my younger pupils give me a buzz. Two in particular. Both overweight and beautifully Rubenesque. biggrin

:smitten: :smitten: with aristophanes
You have a delightful figure Mrs B and I shall include you too. :D
A lovely warm scarf a friend has knitted me for my birthday. I'm really touched by it and will treasure it.
Radio 4 and the World Service when I cant sleep at night. I rarely listen to music on the radio. Strange since I'm a musician for a living. Perhaps that's why.
I teach guitar for a living and some of the middle aged mums of a few of my younger pupils give me a buzz. Two in particular. Both overweight and beautifully Rubenesque. biggrin
"my boyfriend recently fucked around on me and i want revenge...i want as many hard cocks as i can get my mouth on..."
She seems such a charming modest girl. biggrin
What if its not a girl? :D
Have to agree with Tune. Some of my most shattering moments were when my last lover and I were staring into each others eyes and sharing a long long kiss during penetration. It didn't matter if she was on top of me or I was on top of her. She felt the same way too. It's incredibly exciting and intimate.
It's lovely here too. All the changing colours and textures and the smell of the season change coming from the damp earth. Wonderful stuff. I've just got my old Rayburn ready for it's first fire of the autumn. Might take myself off to the Black Mountains for a stroll. I'm lucky they're only a few miles from me.
Then come back and chop up some veg and make a nice soup. Lovely!
Sitting propped up in bed between 6 and 9 a.m. reading a good book and having a cuppa. Heaven!
Quote by noladreams30
So... do all you biker boys (and girls!) wear leathers then? :rascal:
Sorry... I know absolutely nothing about bikes but do have a penchant for a man in leather :twisted:

No sorry. I had a boring old Belstaff two piece. Kept me dry and warm as toast though.
I went out and bought that "101 hits from the 50's". Some of my earliest memories that I can recall are musical. It was lovely hearing many of the songs again.
The other thing I'm listening a lot to at the mo is Thomas Morley's " It was a Lover and his Lass ". Though I wasn't around when that first came out!
In the 70's I had a 650 Bonny. A dream to ride. You cant beat that throaty throb of a british bike. My ex wife and I went up to the Hebrides on it for a holiday . Would you believe it got us back in a single day! Isle of Skye to London. My balls and willy were numb as death! We rode for 2hrs then stopped for 10 mins all the way back down. That was the hardest riding I've ever done. She was a gorgeous machine. I often think of her even now and hope someone has still got her on the road.
I started turning grey at university as a mature student. It's now silvery white. And very thick. Always had a thick mop of hair. I wouldn't dream of changing it. Sometimes I feel I'd like to grow it again down past my shoulders just like I used to have it. And grow my ever whitening beard down onto my chest.
Then I can look like Walt Whitman. :thumbup:
Quote by TheLovelyOne
I've had a huge plate of steamed vegatables followed by a couple of oranges. The Swiss Chard was the best I've ever tasted.
I usually make a big mush of barley, lentils,peas or various beans, onions,garlic,herbs, root vegatables, leafy ones and pasta, olives. Cook it all in a big cast iron pot. Then scoff the lot.

That sounds heavenly - much better than my avocado and custard creams! Abergavenny's less than an hour from me isn't it?
Oh wait - you've scoffed the lot! sad
It is heavenly and it wouldn't take me long to cook some more sometime. And I'd share it. smile
I've had a huge plate of steamed vegatables followed by a couple of oranges. The Swiss Chard was the best I've ever tasted.
I usually make a big mush of barley, lentils,peas or various beans, onions,garlic,herbs, root vegatables, leafy ones and pasta, olives. Cook it all in a big cast iron pot. Then scoff the lot.