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DJohn
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 56
0 miles · Tyne and Wear

Forum

That's an excellent idea, Judy. It'll be much easier if I'm not making a fool of myself alone. I think that's worth matching Jags' donation.
There's a Lizard Point just down the coast from here. Perhaps you don't live so far away after all!
Arti! You're needed! Fly is in trouble and needs your help.
He's going to be pampered. He's going to be washed. There'll be bottles of that funny whiffy stuff the girlies seem to like so much (if they like strange-smelling substances, let them do that painting). I can hardly bring myself to say it, but he might even end up with a ribbon tied in a little bow.
I'll see if I can distract MrsFC for you, while you get poor Fly out.
Oh, MrsFC! Hello! How lovely to see you again. You know, one of the highlights of the munch for me was when you lifted your skirt. Those legs! Go on... do it again. Just for me.
Alcohol is the only explanation for Jags betting that I wouldn't walk through Edinburgh in the rabbit costume on the weekend of the munch (£100 to the charity of my choice). The conditions are at least 100m on a main road (not some back alley where no one will see me).
Alcohol is also the only explanation for me saying I'd do it.
So now I need your help. Which should be the lucky charity?
Thinners? (checking label) Oh bloody hell... the Sarge has my wine!
Who organised the guest list for this party? There are a few new faces here.
It's Jake the Peg! Forget the 9 inches girls, this guy has three feet.
But what's this? Following close behind are two young men (the bouncer won't let the two little boys in) with two little toys. We'll save those for later, lads. Don't want to get the ladies too excited too early.
Now if you want to take some pictures of the titilating misses who put the agitating wishes in the thinking of the men who write the postings that are aiming for the favours of the ladies of the cafe of the forum of Swinging Heaven... you're just in time. The party has started early.
At the top of the page there's a little button labelled "Chatroom". There are full instructions there.
Quote by Alexandra
I am at your disposal

Woohoo! Err, I mean, umm. I'll continue the terrible chore of distracting the girlies so the Manly Men can get on with the real work. Come here, Alex.
I think you can consider your thread well and truly hijacked, Shelly. If you are ever looking for complete nutters, you know where to find them :-)
From the organisers' perspective, it's quite understandable. If someone turns up out of the blue, they have no idea what to expect. Most will be genuine nice people who it will be a pleasure to meet. But all it takes is one psycho or Sun reporter to ruin a good munch.
The good news: this munch is still a few weeks away. Join in, here or in the chat room. Get yourself known. You've got plenty of time to show that you're someone worth meeting.
I have a whole bottle here that he's welcome to. I was saving it for something special, but what the hell. Arti's special. But with Newcastle being several light years away from everywhere, delivery could be a little tricky.
It takes two to tango,
Or three, or maybe more.
You could use a strawberry,
But some prefer mango.
Spill the fridge on the floor,
Whip cream and make merry.
It takes two to salsa,
Or more, I have been told.
A firm floor is desired,
Not one made of balsa.
It's a dance for the bold,
Not those who are tired.
It takes two to foxtrot,
As does all romancing.
There is no need for checks,
I have not lost the plot.
I'm talking of dancing,
And not dreaming of sex.
(I know it's bad. I'm new at this)
How did I miss that? I'm sure I was there. I don't remember seeing any flashing. Though Sappho, bless her, had a good try near the end wink
Quote by willxx69
Time to get back to the duel!!

Come on Sappho. While the boys are fighting, we can sneak off somewhere. They won't notice.
Firstly, a note to aid translation from Australian to English: primary school is years 1 to 7 (ages 6 to 12). High school is years 8 to 12 (ages 13 to 17). School is (or was) compulsory until the end of year 10.
Being good at maths, I was put in a special program. We did years 8 to 10 in two years, with emphasis on maths and sciences. Our maths teacher was the best I have seen or heard of anywhere.
Unfortunately, they didn't think that while we were good at maths and science, we might not be so good at the humanities. English Literature was my downfall. The guidance people suggested that my analytical mind would be better off with that than the more creative English class. I failed miserably. I simply didn't understand what the class was about. (I have since learned. I just wasn't ready for it at the time).
Since Australian universities have a literacy requirement, I had to repeat year 12. This time I did English: clearly the right choice, as I topped the school in the first exam. That was the only class I did at school that year. The rest of my time was spent sitting in on lectures at university.
I passed English and went to study Engineering at university. By that point, I was back in line with most of the people of my age. But I'd been to most of the lectures already. I'd read the textbooks in the first week. I already knew most of the things that were interesting or useful, and was bored by the rest. I was learning more by not attending lectures or doing assignments. I didn't make it through second year.
But my hobbies had given me useful skills. I've had no trouble getting good and interesting jobs.
I'm not sorry that I went to university, as it did expose me to a lot of concepts that I wouldn't have discovered on my own. But I'm not sorry that I didn't stick with it and get a degree. I might one day, but it will be in some area completely unrelated to my working life.
You did ask.
The ones I don't understand are the men pretending to be woman posting ads looking for women.
What happens if they succeed? (Miracles still happen.) "Sorry, my girlfriend couldn't make it. She thought you might like to have me instead".
I know some of what's involved in being a mod, and I don't have what it takes. I'm too trusting and forgiving. Always willing to give them another chance. If I was in charge this place would be over-run with morons within minutes.
Damn you Heather! You've nicked my costume. Now I'll have to think of something else.
Shall I see what leather I can find and give you all a scare?
I am so stupid. Someone's going to expect me to do it now.
There's nothing wrong with my taste in music! (Carpy, where are you? I need someone to back me up). At least there's no bagpipes in it...
I'll duck now. I can see the slap coming.
You don't have to choose just one, you know. (That way I'll be right even if I miss the front of the queue)
Did I say that?
My good company? Oh dear. Maybe you should make that post :-)
Go on Jags. I dare you! You think you get some bad emails and PMs now...
I think they're manufactured to standards that don't recognise the degree of use that they get. I imagine they only test them for twelve or fifteen hours a day. And then they're surprised when they fail under REAL use.
Would that cherry be perched on top of the squirty cream? Now there's an interesting addition to the fireman's outfit...
Quote by willxx69
always ready to duel

Oh, Will. Such a promising start, and then then this lapse. I know how tempting it is, but you must be strong!
Think of the benefits to your health that quitting will bring. I know you can do it.
Well done Will! You're making solid progress there. Soon you'll be promoted to adjudicator, then spectator, and in no time you'll have kicked the duelling habit.
Quote by Sappho
Do you require a personal assistant at all John?

They tried giving me some underlings. I'm not a manager. My delegation skills aren't far from "No, not like that! Forget it, I'll just do it myself".
I actually like my job. Yes, I complain about it. Yes, the hours get unpleasant at times. But I love it. It's interesting work with great people and a company that looks after us well.
One of my previous jobs was not so good. The lowest point was the day when my manager came to me and asked "How is project X going? We need it finished in two weeks". Project X? What's project X? "Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you about it". I told him it would be finished when it was finished, and left before it was.
Sappho: learn to program and move to Newcastle. I'll put in a good word for you. Will might be a little upset at the extra travelling, but to balance that I'll be overjoyed.
Quote by Sappho
Sappho xxx (who is also willing to do her bit for any of the mods wink )

Where do I sign up to become a mod? wink
Yikes! Three thousand already? I saw that she was approaching the magic figure, but didn't think she'd zoom past it this quickly.
In honour of this achievement, I award you with the keys to the Spare Fingers cupboard. You must need a replacement set after all that typing.