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FredFlintstone
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 62
Bisexual Female, 58
UK

Forum

Quote by willxx69
Oh no you don't! You have at least one outstanding commitment, remember.

Nope!
I only said "maybe" - I was sober enough to remember that much at least.......... rolleyes
Can you really imagine that I did IT sober - what a cringe! :lol2:
Fred
Sarge.........
You are such an...........
Angel! :shock:
(I have not posted before now as I felt the Sarge needed to feel the full force of the anticipation of my reaction!)
There I was - caught in the dilemma of thinking about my stripping career and you show me video which makes me realise just how good I look! confused
So - twice in 2 parties I have got my kit off - The first one someone retired early to bed feeling ill and the second one someone WAS ill!!!
I was just going to announce my retirement and up you pop with a gem of a piece of footage. However it has made me realise I need to clean the windows before a party so you can get good quality footage.
That was after he threw his uniform off then LMAO

Well - you were in the best position to see Tigger darling! I had to strip off - the heat coming off you was like a toaster full of pop tarts (I have the photos of them dancing as well! wink )
I think Sgt. Bilko will have to be looking over his shoulder from now on.

It ain't just his shoulder Harry - Sarge I reckon you need to wear tight underwear for a while just in case things swing a little low and *SNIP* - their gone!
Looks like a good time was had by all - especially Fred

I did but then I did not have to look at myself naked - I had the advantage blue! rolleyes
I believe the footage was taken seconds before he threw a 5 !!!

That 5 will haunt me forever - good job I did not have to suck my own toe - would have killed myself eh Tigger? :wink:
I'm concerened about Fred - he's lost so much weight.

You noticed - how sweet! :wink:
On reflection though I do think that I need to take responsibility for my actions more - all of this was done whilst NOT under the influence of alcohol - hhhhhhmmmmmmmmmm.
OK OK OK - I'll retire - here and now....
No comebacks........
*sigh*
Fred
FFS!
God I needed that right about now!
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Thanks Steve....
I got 5.........
5
5
Bloody 5!
And there was Tigger at my mercy - all I wanted was anything but a 5 redface surprisedops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
Quote by Fran & Stu
I think you have had enough general release for now darlin'!!!

Note quite just yet.............. redface
Anyone wanna help? :twisted:
Quote by Dawn_Mids
Oh I remember watching you VERY closely in someones groin lol

And he still has the bitemarks and bruises as testament to the act!
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Quote by Sappho
Not guilty, honest! Fred had it in his hands this morning - both jars!

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...... rolleyes
Ah yes....... confused
Need to undergo futher analysis and field trials before being put on general release! redface
Is that a good enough excuse?
Fred
Funny - selective memory Jags - or was that the curse of the Pinkstuff again?
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
People are always asking for good party games for swinging parties.
This is a variation of a theme that I wrote for ourselves and it worked a treat.
The Ribbon Game
What you need:
A 20 sided dice - get from a games shop
6 feet of ribbon
Printed list of forfeits
A tube of squirty cream
A blindfold
A whip of some sort
A pair of handcuffs
6 idiots to play it!
Cut the ribbon into three equal lengths - tie a knot in the middle of one piece. Six people stand in a circle and a seventh person, who is the referee, holds the ribbons so that the six ends poke out of their hand. Each person takes an end and the referee lets go. The 2 people with the ribbon with a knot in it have to roll the dice and do a forfeit. The forfeits must be completed between the couple with the knotted ribbon – unless otherwise specified. If a forfeit only requires 1 person to do something then the losing couple must decide between them who must do the forfeit.
The Forfeits1.) 3 kisses placed anywhere on the body
2.) Couple must be handcuffed together in a way chosen by the other players until two more ribbon pulls have been completed
3.) Blindfolded, guess the body part of anyone in the room by touch only
4.) Squirt cream onto any part of the body below the neck and lick it all off
5.) Suck a toe
6.) Cuddle one another for 1 minute – (No jiggling or shaking!)
7.) Place a kiss upon a nipple
8.) Fake an orgasm together
9.) Demonstrate 3 sexual positions in 30 seconds – If someone else has already done this forfeit you cannot repeat any of the positions they have already used
10.) Tell everyone your ultimate fantasy
11.) Give xxxxxxxx a treat (place name of someone attending party here! - go for a shy one!)
12.) Snog a party host of your choice
13.) Complete a forfeit chosen by the other players – (Other players, remember they may get their own back on you with interest!)
14.) Remove one item of clothing
15.) Blindfolded, guess the object using your lips
16.) Tell everyone who you most want to play with at the party if given the chance
17.) Kiss on the lips
18.) Lick from the inside of one knee to the other without stopping or breaking contact
19.) Blindfolded, guess the person without using your hands – Anyone in the room can be the “hidden” person
20.) Use the whip give 3 lashes! – If the rest of the players think you were too gentle then you must swap places until you get it you think some of these forfeits through they can be as tame or as raunchy as the players choose - also watch out for the absolute hilarity when 2 guys pull the knotted ribbon and have to do number 18! They will need to think creatively to get away with this one with their dignity intact and no incriminating photographs!
Try and rotate your guests to get different people involved at different times - try to keep an equal number of each sex! - For added fun - try to stop partners playing at the same time.
* I wish I had got the cream one, I wish I had got the cream one, I wish I had got the cream one, I wish I had got the cream one*
Oh! The referee's decision is final!
Or, before or after the pinkstuff...... rolleyes
or the whipped cream...... :roll:
and after he had been chewing on a piece of chamois leather for 5 minutes and complained the beef was chewy? :roll:
Fred
See!
I told you it was one of them buggers Heather.............
Hmmmmmmm - nettles huh? reckon that could be a new forfeit! lol :lol:
Will - Black Tea - one sugar please mate - plus two matchsticks! - put a drop of cold water in - not stopping long...... rolleyes
I also will add for the record that not only does Jags bite - but she does get bitten herself - and she does not like it one little bit!
Did you know - according to Wilma - Pinkstuff tastes and looks the same coming back as it did going down............. euuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwww! I will post the recipie if anyone fancies some punishment - either that or I will get someone else to do it! :roll:
Isn't it odd when you take away Wills bottled bravado (Penfolds!) he folds like a deck of cards! :shock:
Fred
9pm........
Kids in bed.... lol
Wilma in bed....... confused
Me about 10 minutes behind! :shock:
I think you need to ask Fran about the whip - I only have 2 pairs of pink fluffy handcuffs! rolleyes :roll:
Bugga!
*yawns*
Fred
I have to say Heather - I have no idea who ACTUALLY did it - BUT......
Will and Kat were in here yesterday playing around and writing party games for the weekend..... They had lots of toys and gags with them - I can only say that with some authority because Arti had to pull on a cable he found sticking out of one of the ferrets mouths when the ferret started buzzing. confused
It turned out the poor ferret had swallowed a vibrating love egg and the other ferret managed to turn it on..... :shock: :shock:
It looked very queasy for a few hours I can tell you.... but once it recovered it kept trying to get the female ferret to eat it! :twisted:
If they are innocent of course they will respond immediately and deny what I have said and try and extract themselves from the sticky stuff!.. :sticky:
If you don't hear from them by 6PM then I would only be able to draw one conclusion from it........... dunno
As ever I always try to be helpful - you know me hun! rolleyes
Fred
Quote by Tigger-Steve
Finally brave enuff to come out of me shell lol xxx redface

Just in time as well!
Welcome you two - nice bod Steve!
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Fred (No doubt Wilma will be along to yap at you at some point!)
XX
I would wave frantically at CCR but she would just ignore me no doubt after she has read the next bit - forgive me hun - I know exactly what I am doing! redface
You see I have this problem that evertime I speak to them I have a mental picture of a man walking round with a surgical glove on his head weearing a kilt and a woman dressed in a pillowcase and a pair of plus fours!
What an image!
You will have to ask CCR to tell all! :doh:
Welcome to the other Madhouse!
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Fred
XX
Arti - for gods sake dont kick the pizza again - the ferrets dragged it into misschiefs top last week when she was entertaining your dog - there was a lot of noise and snuffling and then they buggered off. rolleyes
Since then there has been a bit of squeeking coming from Misschiefs top - I think they have dropped a litter in there and have abandoned them to be reared by the pizza!!!!!!! :shock:
Now - If you know anyone who wants to recover pizzas trapped down rabbit holes I reckon those buggers will be worth a fortune - alternatively we need to retrain them to recover something else.... confused
Ideas anyone?
BTW - As an ardent fan of Footrot Flats I think the introduction of the lifestock into the GFZ has been brilliant - I am just waiting for Arti to introdsuce us to more of his entourage!
Oh - and when the littleuns have finished with the pizza can someone throw it in the oven - we may need it later this evening.......
Fred
Thank God Kit is back..
He has been so lonely he has pm'ed everyone 23 times EACH, posted 372 messages in the forum in a week, gone through the entire MSN Messenger hit list and chatted to them all til 3 in the morning, the house resembles the GFZ and he needs feeding, a bath and a new keyboard......
Oh and the phone bill and mobile bill will be a bit high as well......
He did say he rang you once though!
Fred
Quote by KitKat
flipa lol :lol: Did you think I wouldn't notice?

But I mentioned no names! wink Don't forget the 20 sided - that's the one! rolleyes
Quote by tim-jas
Fred did you have to tell everyone about the bath panel - I've been told off enough already :cry:

And again....... :roll:
See, these were two very private jokes, til you two opened your mouths! Nobody else would have known that Kat sends out pictures of himself looking like a reindeer or that Jas has a very endearing pic of her all in bubbles with a cheeky grin! But oh no - you had to tell everyone didn't you? :twisted: :twisted:
Fred
Quote by Mark
Of course, I only really used you all for one reason. If it hadn't worked I would have been saying, "blame the beta testers, it's not my fault! "

We had all figured it which is why we reported none of the problems before now.....
There is an email with 219 bugs and error reports on it's way to you as we speak - and that is just from the forum!
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
Fred
Mark sure is one smart cookie! (If you look in your cookies folder you will see a picture of him!) wink
Give him a round of applause! :high-smile:
I was joking about finding a picture of him in the cookies folder, BTW! rolleyes
I know that many hours of hard work, effort and testing have gone into the new look site and I would just like to say I think it is absolutely fabulous, very snazzy, not too heavy in terms of Java and all that stuff and much faster than the old site so it is obvious Mark has taken a lot of time to optimise all the code. worship :worship:
Hats off to you Mark - A brilliant upgrade! :hunk: :smitten: sillyhwoar:
Fred
(Thats a tenner you owe me now! :rascal: )
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Oh, how did your week away go ??

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
That is all I will say before certain people start to blush!
Fred
Well......
Don't get me started! These are just some of our experiences!
Pics with kids school pictures close up on the wall behind
Pics which include the Children and Grandchildren in a family shot
Pics from people who claim they will take high quality porno pics for you which are badly lit, and show the empty beer cans on the fireplace
Pics of people with antlers growing out of their heads
Pics of rooms in the background that look like the relatives from "Keeping up appearances" front room
Pics of single guys with make up on the dressing table or wedding rings on
Pics of genitals so close up you feel like helping out and plucking the stray hair they missed
Pics from non-smokers with an ashtray on the table behind them overflowing with fag ends
Pics from people who say they are mid 30's but who look older than your granny or you realise the pic is so old the colours have all washed out before it was scanned
Pics from couples where the 2 pictures are so different and they have not got one of them together that you wonder how stupid they think you really are
Pics where she says "I am a bit big, about an 18/20" when you realise she is talking about just one of her thighs
Pics of cocks which are gripped so hard at the base and pulled outwards to make it bigger that his knuckles are white
But what makes us really howl the most is we look at the decor and surroundings as part of the overall picture we try to build up about the people that we do look for english plugs and sockets, nice decor and furniture etc. etc.
Snobbish? I don't think so - it is just that we have so little to build a picture up about people before you meet them that you go for any information you can get!
Does it lead to assumptions and mistakes - of course it will - but at least we have tried to judge as we see fit at the time.
But some people just catch your eye and you never even see the bath panel falling off! wink :wink: :wink:
Fred
Quote by KitKat
Fred, could you supply a reply to this please. lol

Why, oh why, oh why?
Will - there you go again - talking to men who love flowers about sticking together........
You know this ends up with you down dark alleys, talking about glory holes or glory days or something like that! The picture is only made worse by the ruffles and tights my good man........
Next you will be pouring drinks and offering massages to the girlies!!!!!!
There is no hope.....
Mind you, if that is your taste then please feel free to come out and tell us all - I am sure there are a few who would love to know - and I reckon Bluexxx is ITCHING to get her hands on you! (You can get a cream for that itch by the way Bluexxx!)
*sigh*
Fred
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm - toughie this one.....
Beers - would have to be either a pint of Real Ale - (Sptifire, Gales HSB or Abbot) or if it has to be cold, a Guiness - but only at its best when drank on the Emerald Isle....
Spirit - Has to be an Islay Malt with a splash of water followed by another 2 or 6!
Wine - Decent Reds or Whites from Australia, some South African ones (Penfolds has to be on the top of the list somewhere!)
Cocktail - ANYTHING from the cocktail list of Pat O'Briens worship :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: :worship: - starting with a "Hurricane Special". If you have visited this bar or the city it is in you are always amongst friends! lol :lol:
Fred
You choose to break it? confused :?
WOW! :shock: :shock:
Tough or what these scots lassies with the small hands? :cry:
*sighs*
Fred
Sod the straight jacket - I'll just go for being at her mercy - I can behave you know!
Thing is - will Jags let her have a pick over the pieces once she has finished with you?
Fred