Just a quick update....
There is a new pic on the page for those that are interested!!!!!
Fred
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
FredFlintstone
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 62
Bisexual Female, 58
UK
Forum
Quote by Jags
On another note - has NO-ONE noticed that the thread name is 'damson' in distress?? I can't figure out how a plum is distressed, unless in danger of being made into jam. Is it me????
I DID Jags - hence the reason I got a sweat on!
I'll come clean - someone dared me to pick Damsons in the garden naked and in daylight! I had to take pics to prove it and Dawn knows I completed the dare!
ops: And before you ask - NOPE - not gonna prove it to any of you! :shock:
Oh - and Dawn marks her territory wherever she goes - so if she visits you and the neighbour says his alloys are corroding - you know who it was!
Will - you need to lay down - been fighting a lot lately? The man is punch drunk! - Trustworthy - me?
Clare, if not already sorted email the pics to me at and I'll do them for you. xxxxxx
Fred
Quote by willxx69
At the risk of being accused of pedantry and nit-picking, there are a couple of small typos.
You mean at the risk of picking yet aother fight!
What is it with you Will? Are you that determined to get an "Our Henry" nose?
Brumlad - fantastic! Lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it!!!! 8)
Fred
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Fred, I thought you were in there with him ????
I was going to go with him Sarge but it seems that we scared BlueEyes off at the last minute. Something tells me her memory of forthcoming social events put her in mind of a hasty retreat. PLUS I gave her a Yorkie to try and open which always works! :twisted: :twisted:
Need to go check on the Premiership title race!
Fred
I have two spine chilling moments which both hold equal first place in the memory and still give me nightmares:
I was going out with my first long term girlfriend and had gone round to her house to meet her parents. I was nervous as hell, had a collar and tie on and all that malarky - ate my cucumber sandwiches properly and remembered not to pour my tea into the saucer as well. Went to get out of the armchair to leave - said "right, I must be going" - went to stand up and the strain of pushing on the arm of the chair made me do the biggest and loudest fart possible in such a small space! - What a first impression! ops:
A few years later (I was still with the same girlfriend!), we had a charity rugger match against the girls hockey team in reply to the charity hockey match we had with them where one of our props lost 2 front teeth to a hockey stick! We were out for revenge, so went onto the pitch armed with cans of shaving foam. Every chance we got one of the girls got grabbed - squirted and rubbed! After the match I made the mistake of walking past the girls changing room and got dragged in. They were all saying they were going to perform sexual acts on me one at a time right there and stripped me naked and laid me on the floor. If this is a fantasy of yours - leave it as a fantasy - trust me with 15 baying women out for blood and ritual humiliation there was no way my dick was sticking around for anything and seemed to disappear like a tortoise head! :oops: :oops: They scared the F**K out of me I'll tell you! :cry: :cry: It is better as a fantasy guys!
*thinks* "Oh how I would like to go back and meet them now!"
I was going out with my first long term girlfriend and had gone round to her house to meet her parents. I was nervous as hell, had a collar and tie on and all that malarky - ate my cucumber sandwiches properly and remembered not to pour my tea into the saucer as well. Went to get out of the armchair to leave - said "right, I must be going" - went to stand up and the strain of pushing on the arm of the chair made me do the biggest and loudest fart possible in such a small space! - What a first impression!
ops: A few years later (I was still with the same girlfriend!), we had a charity rugger match against the girls hockey team in reply to the charity hockey match we had with them where one of our props lost 2 front teeth to a hockey stick! We were out for revenge, so went onto the pitch armed with cans of shaving foam. Every chance we got one of the girls got grabbed - squirted and rubbed! After the match I made the mistake of walking past the girls changing room and got dragged in. They were all saying they were going to perform sexual acts on me one at a time right there and stripped me naked and laid me on the floor. If this is a fantasy of yours - leave it as a fantasy - trust me with 15 baying women out for blood and ritual humiliation there was no way my dick was sticking around for anything and seemed to disappear like a tortoise head! :oops: :oops: They scared the F**K out of me I'll tell you! :cry: :cry: It is better as a fantasy guys!
*thinks* "Oh how I would like to go back and meet them now!"
*Kat! - Pssssttt! - Bag of goodies - beer - Yorkies (you can see where the girlies have been trying to open them!) - batteries for the remote and Dawn has agreed to come in and do the laundry for you on Wednesday - If you need to get out for an hour at beer o clock on Thursday SteveG and me will smuggle you out - code is 3 taps followed by 2 taps on the door - catch you later - gotta go - seen Kit lurking about here somewhere and can still smell her perfume!*
Nowt wrong with the Speysides! (Wilma would say there is nowt wrong with any Malt in my eyes!) I love a Cragganmore or a Glenfarclas 105. However the latter is a bit special because it is 60% and lifts the top of your head clean off! :twisted: :twisted:
Don't start me on this one..........
Vimto I get - cider I don't! sorry!
As for Alex - nuff said!
Fred
Don't start me on this one..........
Vimto I get - cider I don't! sorry!
As for Alex - nuff said!
Fred
Gman - thank you - your lapse was noted however and cast serious doubts on your ability to withstand torture should you ever be captured.....
Our whereabouts were secret because we were on a mercy mission to alleviate boredom from the lives of some poor couple who had lost their children over the weekend - we have since learned they were dropped off at social services offices on Friday with a note saying they would be collected at tea time today! However we had a great time - shame about the food! And yes - the redhead was with me!
Cider of any form is just not on mate! Too many memories of college days in Winchester sitting in the cathederal grounds getting lashed on the bloody stuff. The only advantage is it tastes the same coming up as it did going down - vile!
Cmon BlueEyes - get to it! Oooohhhh - as I type an email from you - GOOD GIRL! Yeehaaaaaa!
Actually was thinking of asking if anyone fancies going shares in a Kilderkin of an Islay Malt to be laid down for 20 years? :roll:
Fred
Our whereabouts were secret because we were on a mercy mission to alleviate boredom from the lives of some poor couple who had lost their children over the weekend - we have since learned they were dropped off at social services offices on Friday with a note saying they would be collected at tea time today! However we had a great time - shame about the food! And yes - the redhead was with me!
Cider of any form is just not on mate! Too many memories of college days in Winchester sitting in the cathederal grounds getting lashed on the bloody stuff. The only advantage is it tastes the same coming up as it did going down - vile!
Cmon BlueEyes - get to it! Oooohhhh - as I type an email from you - GOOD GIRL! Yeehaaaaaa!
Actually was thinking of asking if anyone fancies going shares in a Kilderkin of an Islay Malt to be laid down for 20 years?
:roll: Fred
Kat,
How the bloody hell did you manage to get me in the mire without me even being here or posting a word! :?
FFS!
Whilst I thought what you did was funny - and yes she deserved it for being in the GFZ without specific duties - how come I get rolled up into the list of punishments? :shock: :shock:
Did I just open mouth and change feet agian? :?: :?:
BOLLOX!
*whispers - "Let me in the GFZ with you Kat - need a place to hide!"
How the bloody hell did you manage to get me in the mire without me even being here or posting a word!
:? FFS!
Whilst I thought what you did was funny - and yes she deserved it for being in the GFZ without specific duties - how come I get rolled up into the list of punishments? :shock: :shock:
Did I just open mouth and change feet agian? :?: :?:
BOLLOX!
*whispers - "Let me in the GFZ with you Kat - need a place to hide!"
My God!
Bloody go away for a weekend of fun and come back to find this mess.
:x
Yet again the girlies thinking they can just walk in and do as they please. Unless it is on food delivery - beer fetching or cleaning duties then you are not welcome - shift your arris! Someone call security!
:evil:
Secondly - anything with Malt other than a splash of water is a crime against humanity and makes me bloody shudder. ICE! LEMONADE! Jeez! :x Laphroaig, Lagavulin and Bowmore are favorites of mine, all Islays, however I changed my mind about blendeds this year when I finally opened a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label I had in the cupboard and realised that Malts are not the only civilised whisky!
That bloody pizza was doing fine ' til someone plonked their fat arse on it and messed all the toppings up! :cry:
Where the hell is Dawn - she was supposed to be modelling the new waitress outfits that Kat organised and we all voted on. Does PVC allow the skin to breathe when it is that tight?
Will - you wussed it mate! Sappho, Sappho, Sappho! - You are not even bothered to fight for her honour in another thread! Blimey!
BlueEyes - behave, there is a good girl, and answer your bloody email! - run along and keep looking after those nails!
Sarge - time to organise a search party for RVM - round up the troops - well the semi sober ones at least!
Kat - brave posting - want me to find any food or drink to leave in here for you for the week? - Want me to tell Kit you have gone away on urgent business? Anything else I can do for you - sure we can get Dawn to do your laundry midweek sometime.....
Fred
Bloody go away for a weekend of fun and come back to find this mess.
:x Yet again the girlies thinking they can just walk in and do as they please. Unless it is on food delivery - beer fetching or cleaning duties then you are not welcome - shift your arris! Someone call security!
:evil: Secondly - anything with Malt other than a splash of water is a crime against humanity and makes me bloody shudder. ICE! LEMONADE! Jeez! :x Laphroaig, Lagavulin and Bowmore are favorites of mine, all Islays, however I changed my mind about blendeds this year when I finally opened a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label I had in the cupboard and realised that Malts are not the only civilised whisky!
That bloody pizza was doing fine ' til someone plonked their fat arse on it and messed all the toppings up! :cry:
Where the hell is Dawn - she was supposed to be modelling the new waitress outfits that Kat organised and we all voted on. Does PVC allow the skin to breathe when it is that tight?
Will - you wussed it mate! Sappho, Sappho, Sappho! - You are not even bothered to fight for her honour in another thread! Blimey!
BlueEyes - behave, there is a good girl, and answer your bloody email! - run along and keep looking after those nails!
Sarge - time to organise a search party for RVM - round up the troops - well the semi sober ones at least!
Kat - brave posting - want me to find any food or drink to leave in here for you for the week? - Want me to tell Kit you have gone away on urgent business? Anything else I can do for you - sure we can get Dawn to do your laundry midweek sometime.....
Fred
Quote by zepsixhi again, there is another one i see when this guy just put"good at sex" for his ad! caveman or what
I take exception to that!
We cavemen can be sophiticated at times - however perhaps a page like ours does little to dispel these myths! "Good at sex" is just too sophisticated for a real caveman - we just tap em on the head when we go "clubbing" and drag 'em home!
Fred
Quote by Sappho
Yep, I'll try it Fred!
:eeek: Bloody Hell! - Does she always go that colour and shake? :eeek:
I have never seen that much Becherovka slugged down in one hit :shock: :shock:
Now Sappho - repeat after me....
I wish I could drink like a lady,
with one or two drinks at the most,
with three I'm under the table,
and four I'm under the host!
No the room is not rolling hun....
*whispers* Someone fetch a chair!
Will....
What you doing in here.....
There is nobody from your top 10 list in here....
Are you sure Jags is going to be number 1? WOW!
You are going to have to write down your memories now my friend - by the time the women have finished with you you are going to pray for amnesia. :twisted:
*fred sits whistling away to "The Wall" - what an album!*
What you doing in here.....
There is nobody from your top 10 list in here....
Are you sure Jags is going to be number 1? WOW!
You are going to have to write down your memories now my friend - by the time the women have finished with you you are going to pray for amnesia. :twisted:
*fred sits whistling away to "The Wall" - what an album!*
