FredFlintstone's Forum Posts

1 May 2004

I am only offering a PERSONAL view here and not sitting in judgement, and certainly not representing the site as a moderator.
Swinging to us means consensual sex between people who do so with the knowledge of their partner. We swing with likeminded couples who are not doing anything behind a partners back and we openly discuss every swinging event that we take part in. At times Wilma has told me guys have whispered to her that they "really fancy her and would love to spend some time on their own with her" and because of that openness there is a absolute level of trust between the pair of us. Every text message and MSN conversation is shared and I do not think that there is a single event in swinging that has taken place during our swinging, even in separate rooms, that we have not shared.
In my OPINION anyone who engages in sex with other people without the knowledge and consent of their real life partner is not a swinger - they are cheating. I am sorry if that offends people but it is our opinion. We have always said that we swing for fun and friendship and not to wreck relationships.
There is also the issue of STI's. We know the risks we take, which we always minimise. But they are still risks. Therefore if one of us has any slight change that could indicate a medical issue related to STI's we are immediately aware of that risk. A partner of someone engaged in cheating does not have the knowledge that there is an element of risk associated with their sex lives because the partner who is cheating has not told them of that risk. This could lead them to overlook symptoms that could later lead to serious health issues. To date neither of us has had any cause for concern and we hope we never will, but you just cannot be 100% sure.
Recently a couple contacted us and they were open that she was not in a relationship but he was married and having relationships with this other woman without the knowledge of his wife and would we still swing with them. The flat answer was no. (She was a bloody stunner as well!) We go to great lengths to get to know people before we swing with them and as a consequence I think I can quite honestly say that we have NEVER swung with anyone that is cheating on a relationship. This is probably why we do not get involved in either the club scene or the dogging scene.
Lofty made a point about the dangers of letting your partner have sex with someone else and your partner preferring someone else. Your partner does not need to have sex with someone else to prefer them. If you are at all doubtful of the strength of your relationship then in my mind you should not be engaged in swinging. No matter what I do in my life if Wilma decided that she preferred someone else to me there is not a single bloody thing I could do to prevent her leaving. We swing for fun and enjoyment because we love one another and we know that no matter how good the sex is, no matter how gorgeous another woman is, no matter how many tricks she can do that Wilma does not do, no matter how much someone else professes their undying love for me I WILL go home at the end of every night with Wilma. FULL STOP.
There is an old expression:
If you love someone,
Set them free...
If they comes back, they're yours,
If they don't, they never were....
The suspicious person would say:
If you love someone,
Set them free ... but get someone to follow them
You cannot police peoples minds and lives entirely. I think I will never lose Wilma to anyone else - but that does not make me complacent - neither does 12 years of marriage. We seem to suit one another and I could not imagine my life without her. Everything we do in swinging is to enhance our lives together. She may well have a different opinion on that to me.
Moorhopper - you asked a question - "How easy is it to enjoy this freedom?" My answer to you is "What freedom?" How can you share the fun and experiences with the one person that you truly love - unless of course you don't love them? I do not ask you to answer the question - I merely pose it as a rhetorical question........
As I said at the start - this is all just my opinion. If you want to be offended by it then that is a personal issue for you. I address it to no one and stand in judgement of no one.
We love our swinging lifestyle and love sharing it with likeminded people.
Regards
Fred