Men wearing white shoes and leg warmers
Tangerine Dream doing some of the soundtrack to Risky Business
AHA's first video " Take on Me" for the graphics
Newcastle nightlife
*sigh*
Fred
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FredFlintstone
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 62
Bisexual Female, 58
UK
Forum
Quote by corriefem
And Ive met a man wearing pink knickers lol
Funny that - I always heard she did not wear any........... :shock: :shock:
Put a shallow dish with beer down. Irresistible to the little buggers and at least they die happy............
(This reminds me of Jaspr Carrot talking about getting rid of moles!)
Fred
Personally I liked your ad. It was descriptive, said exactly what you were looking for and there was no ambiguity - Well done.
As to the pics - resizing them with something like Paintshop Pro will probably give you bigger pics for the size limit.
The other alternative is to have your own webpage. That way you have no limits at all.
Mark is a very helpful guy who will even host your web page for free.
If you have a look at ours you will have some idea of what you can do.
Hope this helps
Regards
Fred
XX
As to the pics - resizing them with something like Paintshop Pro will probably give you bigger pics for the size limit.
The other alternative is to have your own webpage. That way you have no limits at all.
Mark is a very helpful guy who will even host your web page for free.
If you have a look at ours you will have some idea of what you can do.
Hope this helps
Regards
Fred
XX
:DQuote by neilinleeds
ha haaaa so that's where you've been? i trust it's all in fully working order! good to see you back too! you stopping for a bit?
n ;-)
Longer than my erection at the last part - that's for sure!
BTW - to qualify the 7 times in a night - that was 7 orgasms for me - I have not got the willpower to make my arse go the opposite way when my eyes cross and I start to resemble Goofy!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:Fred
Wilma had her Avatar done on her bum last year!
And the pictures are here:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/5973.html
Regards
Fred
And the pictures are here:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewtopic/5973.html
Regards
Fred
Quote by PaulnSusie
'how long is a piece of string' I hear you cry!!!
You lot talking about me again???????????
My piece of string is 12" when measured from my arse and continues to surprise me even after 40 odd years!
In a very sensual 3some last year with Wilma and another woman I managed 7 times in a night and some instant recoveries (within 10 mins!). At the last party I jumped off the bed to grab a durex - stepped on a bloody sharp heel of a woman's stiletto and turned my ankle over - next thing I looked down and I had lost my erection.
Looked everywhere for it and never found it again that night - pure embarrasment for me and a very understanding partner! Where is that woman?
You never can tell!
Fred
Quote by Sappho - aka "]
Shouldn't that be 'Cream (with backlick!)'. And whaddaya mean 'fouled'? You making up the rules again Freddikins?
Sappho xxx
PS: Will sends a manly back thump and a salacious snog for Wilma.
PONG!
Thank the lord you qualified the snog - starting to sweat there!
And I am sure I did see a naked bit of flesh touch the table - honest!
ping! - runs to fridge for can of whipped cream - Tia Maria flavour if I remember rightly!
Fred
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Quote by Sappho
Fred! Angel!
Good to see you and the Divine Wilma back in the fold my darling.for you both.
Sappho xxx
PS: Pong or whatever!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - thank you darling!
mwah back at you ........ XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (come and get 'em!)
Hugs to Will from us - but tell him not to get too emotional!
By the way you fouled on that shot - my serve!
Piiinng (with backspin!)
Fred
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
:smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: :smackbottom: Bloody hell - slaps all round then????????
:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: for Lou - coz I ain't had the chance yet!
:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: for Kit for dragging me back to reality - I really would have thought someone would have found the keys by now and let you get away from that bed head!
:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: for Jags - for all the calls in my absence to make sure I was not really buried under the patio!
:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: for Angel Chat - and thanks for the knickers - you can collect then Saturday if you change your mind - not too late!
Fred
XXXXXXXXXXX
:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: for Lou - coz I ain't had the chance yet!:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: for Kit for dragging me back to reality - I really would have thought someone would have found the keys by now and let you get away from that bed head!
:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: for Jags - for all the calls in my absence to make sure I was not really buried under the patio!
:kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: for Angel Chat - and thanks for the knickers - you can collect then Saturday if you change your mind - not too late!
Fred
XXXXXXXXXXX
There I was in the GFZ – clearing up after another party and I decided to pull out the ferret cages which had sadly become unused and neglected. Behind the cage – written on the wall was a note saying “push here for the rabbit holeâ€. 
I thought it was one of Sarge’s jokes – or a bit of departing banter from Arti…….
So I pushed………..
:roll:
FFS!
I have no idea if anyone else saw the note or if anyone followed me but a hole in the wall appeared and I started falling…
I was in a parrallel forum. If you think this one here is weird then you should see the other one.
The first room I entered was full of old shoe boxes – each time I opened one I heard a groan. It really spooked me and I ran out. :shock:
The second room I entered had ladies knickers stuck all over the wall and ceiling and occasionally one fell off and landed on my head. :shock:
The third room had rail upon rail of different coloured tights and delicately made silk shirts with lots of ruffles and in the corner a suit of armour. Once I realised the suit of armour was walking towards me I ran out and slammed the door. :shock: :shock:
The next room was even worse. As I walked in an usher – dressed like the one from Rocky Horror – handed me a pair of 3d glasses. I put them on and immediately received a black eye from a 3ft monster cock which then chased me from the room. :shock: :shock: :shock:
As I slammed the door behind me and leant against it panting I suddenly realised that there was writing on the door in tiny letters. It said “Jag’s fantasy cock world"……….
I walked back to the third room and it said “Will’s Dressing room†– I opened the door and there was the suit of armour – only this time it spoke to me “Fred – help me out of this – just spent two hours defending Sappho’s honour and I am knackeredâ€
When I returned to the second room some time later…. Well – Will in tights never could keep me on my feet for long – the laughing always gave me cramp you know……… it said on the door “Angel Chats wardrobe†– How on earth did she get her knickers to stick all over the place – really neat! (Or is that one of those questions I just know I am going to regret asking ??????????)
The first room was the one that scared me though as all the shoe boxes kept moaning……. Until I realised it was labelled “Sarge’s joke room†!!!!!!!!!!!!
:lol: :lol:
That was over 3 weeks ago – and ever since I have been walking the corridors of a world beyond your wildest nightmare…..
Behind one door were red ducks making nests out of womens breasts and offering me a peace pipe to smoke. :roll: :roll:
Others had coppers in, all dressed in ladies underwear, saying “never done this before – all in the line of duty you know!â€
8-)
Even wierder was a room where there were racks and racks of emoticons and animated gif’s all labelled“Copyright Kinky Lizard 2004 – hand’s offâ€
The best one for me had Betty Boop in it just dressed in a T shirt which said “If you can catch me you can have me†– It took me 3 days before I realised that it was actually a nightmare room as the bird in there was fit as fuck and could do a sub 2hour 40min marathon. I did spend another 3 days in there trying though – just in case she decided she did want to be caught….. no such luck. However I did shed 7lbs – as good as my bout of the screaming shits only no side effects other than sexual frustration! I really must stop wearing heels when I run.
The one labelled “Blue’s path to enlightenment†did not even get opened as I have seen the effect’s of her path to enlightenment and it usually means farting without a sound for 3 weeks….. :cry: :cry:
Finally I found sanctuary in a library where a lovely librarian – who seemed to spend all her time proof reading – nurtured me back to sanity and mopped my fevered brow with her blouse – which for some reason was made of chamois leather…….. until Will showed up again waving a sword at me and screaming like a banshee. :doh:
In the end I went to see the devil in his office…..The sign said “Mark†in a nice gold italic script!
There I did a trade……
I wanted to get back to the world I knew and loved……
In return I had to agree to have sex with every female member of Swinging Heaven in my real world. After confirming the small print that I was to be the giver not the taker I signed. I know, it is a shit job, but someone has to do it…………. :wink:
I worked it out that at 20 seconds a shag and 13 hours recovery time I should be finished around Xmas 2008……
ops: :oops:
So ladies – please form an orderly queue around the GFZ – Will, care to be my second, or even understudy ?????????? :shock:
It is so nice to be back………I think! :wink: :wink:
Mind you - don't suppose anyone even noticed I was missing!
Fred
I thought it was one of Sarge’s jokes – or a bit of departing banter from Arti…….
So I pushed………..
:roll: FFS!
I have no idea if anyone else saw the note or if anyone followed me but a hole in the wall appeared and I started falling…
I was in a parrallel forum. If you think this one here is weird then you should see the other one.
The first room I entered was full of old shoe boxes – each time I opened one I heard a groan. It really spooked me and I ran out. :shock:
The second room I entered had ladies knickers stuck all over the wall and ceiling and occasionally one fell off and landed on my head. :shock:
The third room had rail upon rail of different coloured tights and delicately made silk shirts with lots of ruffles and in the corner a suit of armour. Once I realised the suit of armour was walking towards me I ran out and slammed the door. :shock: :shock:
The next room was even worse. As I walked in an usher – dressed like the one from Rocky Horror – handed me a pair of 3d glasses. I put them on and immediately received a black eye from a 3ft monster cock which then chased me from the room. :shock: :shock: :shock:
As I slammed the door behind me and leant against it panting I suddenly realised that there was writing on the door in tiny letters. It said “Jag’s fantasy cock world"……….
I walked back to the third room and it said “Will’s Dressing room†– I opened the door and there was the suit of armour – only this time it spoke to me “Fred – help me out of this – just spent two hours defending Sappho’s honour and I am knackeredâ€
When I returned to the second room some time later…. Well – Will in tights never could keep me on my feet for long – the laughing always gave me cramp you know……… it said on the door “Angel Chats wardrobe†– How on earth did she get her knickers to stick all over the place – really neat! (Or is that one of those questions I just know I am going to regret asking ??????????)
The first room was the one that scared me though as all the shoe boxes kept moaning……. Until I realised it was labelled “Sarge’s joke room†!!!!!!!!!!!!
:lol: :lol: That was over 3 weeks ago – and ever since I have been walking the corridors of a world beyond your wildest nightmare…..
Behind one door were red ducks making nests out of womens breasts and offering me a peace pipe to smoke. :roll: :roll:
Others had coppers in, all dressed in ladies underwear, saying “never done this before – all in the line of duty you know!â€
8-) Even wierder was a room where there were racks and racks of emoticons and animated gif’s all labelled“Copyright Kinky Lizard 2004 – hand’s offâ€
The best one for me had Betty Boop in it just dressed in a T shirt which said “If you can catch me you can have me†– It took me 3 days before I realised that it was actually a nightmare room as the bird in there was fit as fuck and could do a sub 2hour 40min marathon. I did spend another 3 days in there trying though – just in case she decided she did want to be caught….. no such luck. However I did shed 7lbs – as good as my bout of the screaming shits only no side effects other than sexual frustration! I really must stop wearing heels when I run.
The one labelled “Blue’s path to enlightenment†did not even get opened as I have seen the effect’s of her path to enlightenment and it usually means farting without a sound for 3 weeks….. :cry: :cry:
Finally I found sanctuary in a library where a lovely librarian – who seemed to spend all her time proof reading – nurtured me back to sanity and mopped my fevered brow with her blouse – which for some reason was made of chamois leather…….. until Will showed up again waving a sword at me and screaming like a banshee. :doh:
In the end I went to see the devil in his office…..The sign said “Mark†in a nice gold italic script!
There I did a trade……
I wanted to get back to the world I knew and loved……
In return I had to agree to have sex with every female member of Swinging Heaven in my real world. After confirming the small print that I was to be the giver not the taker I signed. I know, it is a shit job, but someone has to do it………….
:wink: I worked it out that at 20 seconds a shag and 13 hours recovery time I should be finished around Xmas 2008……
ops: :oops: So ladies – please form an orderly queue around the GFZ – Will, care to be my second, or even understudy ?????????? :shock:
It is so nice to be back………I think! :wink: :wink:
Mind you - don't suppose anyone even noticed I was missing!
Fred
Quote by Sgt Bilko
Having had the pleasure of being frisked by Vicky on the way in, I was then fortunate enough to meet some of the nicest people in NATO (and Fred!!).
Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh - BITCH! :shock:
I feel another dig into the "Top Secret" files and some more pictures appearing............... :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Unless of course you suddenly have the urge to donate to the Fred & Wilma holiday fund Sarge???????
:wink: :wink: Fred
Quote by Kit
I think you were 'MrWearsKnickersonHisHead' and :shock: 'MrSniffer'
As it was your better half Kat that put them on my head and they were YOUR knickers I got to sniff..........
a) I am not complaining - I was enjoying myself!
:wink: :wink: b) I thought you would want to gloss over this one a bit quickly - but hey if you wanna shout about it and be proud girl - good for you......
c) Call them knickers? - I thought a better description would have been anal floss attached to a triangular teabag........
:roll: :roll: :roll: Fred
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: (Just call me "Gus" from now on!)
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/personal/flintstones/Gus.gif
I'm in heaven
Dear fellow Forum Members,
I am sad to report that I received a "Top Secret" Communique today containing the photographic evidence. This evidence has been verified as being un-adulterated and is published below for forum members to decide how low it was that Sarge sank into the depths of depravity.
He will of course claim that he was undergoing torture from the girlies at the time and that he was protecting the honour and secrets of the GFZ. Forget all the truth drugs and tortures. It seems that about a dozen things called "Fosters" were enough to render him both incoherent and immovable!
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/humour/clubs/hmmhmm/NWMunch1a.jpg
Exhibit 1
Sarge, (mistakingly beliving that he is being given a waxing of the torso by Kit)
laid in the lap of the delectable Sappho, courageously holding onto his beer.
By the way Sarge - The "Wax" was a mixture of hot chocolate powder and hair gel. :doh: Sappho unfortunatley was not aware that the chocolate was mixed with hair gel decided to lick it off and had to be restrained before she made herself very ill! :roll: :roll: (The things some girls will do to get a chocolate fix!)
I leave it for you all to judge for yourselves.......
Fred
I am sad to report that I received a "Top Secret" Communique today containing the photographic evidence. This evidence has been verified as being un-adulterated and is published below for forum members to decide how low it was that Sarge sank into the depths of depravity.
He will of course claim that he was undergoing torture from the girlies at the time and that he was protecting the honour and secrets of the GFZ. Forget all the truth drugs and tortures. It seems that about a dozen things called "Fosters" were enough to render him both incoherent and immovable!
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/humour/clubs/hmmhmm/NWMunch1a.jpg
Exhibit 1
Sarge, (mistakingly beliving that he is being given a waxing of the torso by Kit)
laid in the lap of the delectable Sappho, courageously holding onto his beer.
By the way Sarge - The "Wax" was a mixture of hot chocolate powder and hair gel. :doh: Sappho unfortunatley was not aware that the chocolate was mixed with hair gel decided to lick it off and had to be restrained before she made herself very ill!
:roll: :roll: (The things some girls will do to get a chocolate fix!)I leave it for you all to judge for yourselves.......
Fred
Evening all,
First time I have had to sit down and catch up.
A big thanks to Steve and Vicky for organising a very successful event first of all - well done - when is the next one? :roll:
Secondly all those who have bumps, bruises and burns from the cargo nets and slides I accept half of the responsibility for that - Tim was the other half of the double act that got the bar staff to let us have a play in there.
To all those we met and chatted to - it was great to see you all and lovely to meet people we had not met before. We had a fabulous night and wished we had more time to meet more of you.
Not going to mention specific names as there are too many and my memory is shot! Enough to say that I really loved it and look forwards to the next one.
Hugs to you all,
Fred
XXXXXXXXX
First time I have had to sit down and catch up.
A big thanks to Steve and Vicky for organising a very successful event first of all - well done - when is the next one?
:roll: Secondly all those who have bumps, bruises and burns from the cargo nets and slides I accept half of the responsibility for that - Tim was the other half of the double act that got the bar staff to let us have a play in there.
To all those we met and chatted to - it was great to see you all and lovely to meet people we had not met before. We had a fabulous night and wished we had more time to meet more of you.
Not going to mention specific names as there are too many and my memory is shot! Enough to say that I really loved it and look forwards to the next one.
Hugs to you all,
Fred
XXXXXXXXX
Okay,
As Jags has asked for me to post her acceptance speech I am now quoting word for word the text message she sent me this morning after having the night to think about how prestigious it was to receive this award.........
Aaaahhhhhhhhhh! - that is so sweet Jags - how very moving......
WHAT?: :?: :?: :?: :?:
Why is she jumping up and down so much....... Do you need to go to the toilet Jags? :?
Some people - such a bad sense of timing and occasion! :roll: :roll:
Fred
As Jags has asked for me to post her acceptance speech I am now quoting word for word the text message she sent me this morning after having the night to think about how prestigious it was to receive this award.........
ACCEPTANCE SPEECH: I'd like to say how very honoured I am to receive the first SHAT Mod of the Year award. (pause to sniff, NO, not used knickers!!). My thanks must go to all those who voted for me (mwah); my friends (mwah mwah); my mother (sob) but mostly those who made me the mad bad mod that I am. *NAMES DELETED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY* and other long departed twats, twits, tossers and turds. I thank you all. Anyone fancy a fuck? xx xx
Aaaahhhhhhhhhh! - that is so sweet Jags - how very moving......
WHAT?
: :?: :?: :?: :?: Why is she jumping up and down so much....... Do you need to go to the toilet Jags? :?
Some people - such a bad sense of timing and occasion!
:roll: :roll: Fred
