42 - is that good , bad or indifferent
Paul
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Fun365
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Male, 71
0 miles · Hampshire
Forum
Quote by clarensteve_lincs_69796
After having a conversation about ladies cumming i just wanted to ask................
Have any of you ladies out there ever squirted????????????
I never have myself and i was just wondering if any of you ladies out there have,and if so is it as good as it sounds????
Clare,xxx
Well I have been out with a lady that squirts...The squirting was copious in the extreme and often I would be flooded..
I should never have given her that water pistol
Paul
Quote by roger743
Had a bad day, really need to relieve some stress. What works for you guys (and doesn't involve another person or spending money)?
I always say that watching Dennis Berkamp's first 100 goals for Arsenal works for me
But failing that the Red Wine and some soothing music always works..
We all have bad days Roger, but the good days outweigh them
Paul
Quote by midlandsmale39
i used to do a triatlon now i just pick up the bed stick it on my shoulder girls and all and do the ten miles, usually takes a good three quarters of an hour or so
Fair play .. I don't think that I can top that .. Where's the fucking Donkey when you need assistance :shock:
Paul
Quote by midlandsmale39
personally i like to look down at all four or five sleeping girls after ive finsihed with them and then go for a ten mile jog just to tire myself out,
Wimp!!!! I like to do a full triathlon after servicing a dozen ladies.. Get yourself fit man!!! and don't go in for half measures... :shock:
:cry: 
Paul
Well, I for one had a lovely day yesterday.
Left home at 9:30 and headed for the New Forest - picked up Carolyn on the way.
Went to Beaulie village and drooled over the classic cars for sale..Wanted the Austin Healy 3000 - sadly not enough spare cash.
Next to Bucklers Hard - a stroll and sit by the river
Lymington for lunch
Back into a quiet spot in the New Forest for some outdoor exercise
One more stop by a lovely pond - saw Mum and Dad swans and 5 signets - took some pics with the dig camera (wish I had taken my OM1)
Dropped Carolyn off and back home by 6 pm
Only downside - managed to get me baldy head a little sun burnt
Paul
Left home at 9:30 and headed for the New Forest - picked up Carolyn on the way.
Went to Beaulie village and drooled over the classic cars for sale..Wanted the Austin Healy 3000 - sadly not enough spare cash.
Next to Bucklers Hard - a stroll and sit by the river
Lymington for lunch
Back into a quiet spot in the New Forest for some outdoor exercise
One more stop by a lovely pond - saw Mum and Dad swans and 5 signets - took some pics with the dig camera (wish I had taken my OM1)
Dropped Carolyn off and back home by 6 pm
Only downside - managed to get me baldy head a little sun burnt
Paul
Quote by BiFemHants
Claire read my last one its true hun if we posted threds everytime a good Trisha or a good episode of Eastenders was on look at the stick we would take :P
I think that you are wrong here - in that if you posted about Eastenders or Trisha every episode they would just get ignored. If you posted about specific things within these programmes when appropriate then you would get interested parties to respond.
Whilst football might not be to everyones taste and I can understand that, the big competions where England are involved are only every two years. So, it's fair that people get excited and wish to pass opinions and comments on England.
Regards
Paul
Quote by RedHot
I think facial hair is fine as long as it is tidy and on younger guys BUT guys who have started to go grey should really shave it all off!!
Jon has a tache and I'm fine with that, but facial hair on other guys is often quite off putting, especially beards.
We once met a guy who was dogging and his beard was completely white/grey. He was actually quite a nice guy but his facial hair really put me off and put me in mind of a birds nest :shock:
C'mon older guys - break out the razors and liberate your chin
Tracy-Jayne
Oooooppppssssss - hastily rushes off to remove his well manicured but greyish goatee..
Bugger
Paul
Quote by JudyTV
Very disappointed, I placed my ad, and as you can see it was very clear and concise.
“Wanted, quick shag, I reserve the right to show up or not, I’m great and hung like a cart horseâ€
As you can imagine, I was staggered that a whole 10 minutes later I had still not even had a reply let alone been invited to any ladies houses to relieve myself, therefore I conclude its all your fault and I require a refund.
This is how its done isn’t it ????
I have only one criticism here and that is I’m not happy with the comma after the word ad in the following sentence ....." I placed my ad, and as you can see it was very clear and concise" the purist would say no comma if you follow with and. However, it is a minor point and should not deter from getting you a top shag. If you find the regular girls don’t respond then I will marry you
. I’m not exactly top totty but fairly tight in the right place none the less :rose: .Definately no refunds tho.JudyTV
Judy ;
I think that you would be classed as 'top totty' and I've never even met you ..
You made me laugh there
Take care
Paul
Quote by shireen-steve
Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhh curry..... mmmmmm what sort??
Wonders if she could get away with not cooking tonight....
Shireen
xxx
Just a very simple chicken curry - easy to do and takes no time really...
Anyway - gulps wine - best go... can't neglect the sprout
Have fun all ( and don't drink too much)
Paul
Quote by shireen-steve
Just a quick one - then have to sort out feeding the son
Actually a nice Red wine would be lovely
Paul
Strolls to the kitchen in search of a red wine.... Aaahhh here we are....
Hands Paul a glass of red
Shireen
xxx
Ahhhh - Shireen , you are too kind. Cant' stop too long , making a quick curry for the pair of us and the rice is on the go. But I can spend a few minutes relaxing
Oi !!!! Donkey , fucking make some room
Paul pops in - "not stopping - just looking for someone"
Quick look round and spots a Donkey sitting in the corner, Stella in hand, wearing military uniform and smoking a cigar. The Donkey has a lapel badge saying ' My name is Malcolm and I am lonely'
It dawns on me (not you Dawn_Mids - sadly) that this could be the same Donkey that Davej purchased. Obviously he was sold to Easy and then became romantically involved with the Sarge.
" So, Malcolm - how are you today" i say in the hope of striking up a conversation.
Malcolm responds "Fuck off - I'm writing to Dear Deirdre in the Sun"
Wonder how Sarge is?
Oh well - must go
Paul
Quick look round and spots a Donkey sitting in the corner, Stella in hand, wearing military uniform and smoking a cigar. The Donkey has a lapel badge saying ' My name is Malcolm and I am lonely'
It dawns on me (not you Dawn_Mids - sadly) that this could be the same Donkey that Davej purchased. Obviously he was sold to Easy and then became romantically involved with the Sarge.
" So, Malcolm - how are you today" i say in the hope of striking up a conversation.
Malcolm responds "Fuck off - I'm writing to Dear Deirdre in the Sun"
Wonder how Sarge is?
Oh well - must go
Paul
Quote by davej#
SHAVE !!......DONKEY ...SHAVE!! YOU WERE TOLD TO SHAVE HIM !!
oh dear...oh dear oh dear......
davej looks up at the sarge....who is also contentedly smoking a cigar..... :shock:
Davej;
Shurely shome mistake - SAVE HIM!!!! i think
Sarge continues to have his 'Hamlet' moment, although I detect a trace of donkey breath on him.
FFS sake - he snogged the beast :shock:
Paul
Quote by davej
I think mine's a bit better. It's not a statigically shaven donkey he wants, it to be shaven by a donkey
Maybe he's hoping that with the loss of friction, he'll be able to just slip out of his bonds.
*pushes in Dobbin with a large, wickedly-sharp looking cut-throat gaffer taped to his hoof*
OK Sarge, where's he starting? Top or bottom?
Dont worry Sarge, I aint gonna let another member down...... Jeez Easy what sort of mate sends in a Donkey with just the razor straped to its hooves.....for christ sakes man are you that bloody uncaring......
davej squirts shaving gel over the sarges body and wanders off muttering about the stupidity of people arranging shaveing without the benefit of some extra sensitive gel....
Paul wanders in and see the Sarge still hanging there, covered in shaving gel. Looks to his left and spots the donkey sitting in a chair, razor still attached to his right hoof, smoking a rather fine cigar. The donkey smiles, takes a large draw on the cigar and asks me to pass on a message to Davej.
Just tell him " thanks for the lubrication - it made all the difference" :shock:
Pau
Quote by Sgt Bilko
I'm starting to weaken now!! This is going to be my second night hanging up here. I have now been gagged but I need to find help from somewhere. I think back to a thread from a long time ago and decide upon a plan of action.
By moving my head back and forth I find that I can set the rope I swing it so much I can wrap an arm around a water pipe. I take my helmet in my hand (!!) and start banging: :shock: :shock: :shock:
......-...--..-.-.- .. .--- ....----.--...-.--. -...-.-- .- .-..-.--.. ..-. -..... -...-...-.-..-.-.- .--..-...-..-.-.. -....-...--.--. .- .-...-.-.-....-. .--.-.. .- ........-.-..--. .--....-...-.-.- .- ....-..-..--.-- -...-- .-----..-.-..-.. -.... .- -...----...-...
Bear in mind my Morse code is a bit rusty
Sarge;
My morse code is not what it was - if it ever was anything. But it appears to me that you have requested a strategically shaven donkey? How will this help?
Regards
Paul
Quote by easy
At the end of the day it has no concequence what size your cock is,all that matters is if you know how to use it!!!!!!!
Clare,xxx
Of course if you're hung like a shetland pony AND know what to do with it you're on to a definate winner.
A very normal sized easy.
Mind you - if you look like a Shetland Pony and are hung like a tadpole then you might have problems :shock:
Paul
Hmmm... I read the article in The Mirror and thought it was fine... However (maybe I'm a cynic) but I don't believe this post at all..
I would envision that all anyone would be doing is providing e-mail addresses to these people , which would lead to unwelcome followup.
Treat this with comtempt..
Or maybe I am totally wrong?
Paul
I would envision that all anyone would be doing is providing e-mail addresses to these people , which would lead to unwelcome followup.
Treat this with comtempt..
Or maybe I am totally wrong?
Paul
I have been fortunate enough to have dinner with The (then )Archbishop of Canterbury and Terry Waite. There were a few others there (total of 8 - 10 in all) and Terry was the most impressive man I have ever met ... and the Arch Bish was very down to earth.
If I could select someone else - then it would have to be Nelson Mandela...
and from a sporting world - Bobby Moore
Paul
If I could select someone else - then it would have to be Nelson Mandela...
and from a sporting world - Bobby Moore
Paul
