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Heather
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 59
Straight Male, 76

Forum

Sex God
Thing you should know if you want to be a Mod...
1) You have to put up with people calling you a Fuckwit every day for something THEY did.
2) You get caught up in other people's problems (See flounce thread) when you really have little or no opinion on the matter.
3) You have to be nice to people you really want to say "Fuck off!" to.
4) You'll get bombarded with so many emails and PMs you'll realise it'd DAYS since you joined in the forum banter.
5) People will look upon you as a public service and demand this and that even when you are as pissed as a fart and just want to giggle a lot.
5) But you do get to BAN idiots the fuck off the forum and bury them in cyber space forever... :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
7) Being a Mod requires little or no comprehension of basic maths.
wink
Sex God
Quote by Ice Pie
This is not a cue for a string of "I'm skinter than you.." posts. lol

Fair enough. I'm richer than you. And dumber. :P
flipa wink
Sex God
Well, after a check of your posts, all I found was that you have a low opinion of your wife. Your business, of course and we have yet to establish what your wife's opinion of you is.
Why do you think this will lead to us banning you? confused
And some of us are very intelligent. And very rich. But a hell of a lot of us are fucking skint too! So you may want to rethink your position on generalisations.
This is not a cue for a string of "I'm skinter than you.." posts. lol
Sex God
I have frequent bought of being pissed off with my job. sad
I'm having a bought right now, in fact. :( :(
Last year, I wanted to be a train driver because A) I love trains and B) the pay is fucking tremendous compared to what I'm earning now. But the train companies won't have me because I have thyroid problems. :( :( :(
The year before that, I wanted to be a clown but I'm scared of balloons so that idea went up in smoke. confused
Right now, Terry has got me interested in working in theatre or concert hall Box Offices, but every post I see requires experience and guess what... that's right! I don't have any!
I'm now contemplating being stuck in Debenhams forever... :cry: :cry: :cry:
Sex God
In the old good days, you had to advertise in top shelf mags. You would place your ads and then have to wait MONTHS for any replies to filter through via a mail box you hired from the publisher.
Moving on, and publications like The Loot made finding swinging partners easier. In fact I got my first swinging partner from there.
Of course life is much easier now. Thank Goodness!
Sex God
This is getting a little jading...
Tigris
Accept the fact you don't understand and move on. And please don't be telling us our marriages and relationships are a mockery - you have no right. I'm a level headed person, I really am, but it's hard to not feel insulted by your tone on this OUR forum.
Be so good as to answer Ice's excellent questions.
Sex God
:twisted: :twisted:
Why, Ice, sweetheart...? Do you really think I'd do anything to make you look silly...?
:giggle:
Sex God
As you can see, they are history...
:smug:
When will they ever learn?
Sex God
Given enough notice, and if it's a Saturday, then I'm sure Terry will come.... :twisted: :twisted:
Ice.... behave! :smug:
Sex God
When I get one of those these days, I reply with a very formal "Welcome to Swinging Heaven" standard response, tagged off with "If I, or any of the other Moderators can help you..." type thing.
It sure dampens their ardour pretty quickly! :twisted:
Sex God
If there's enough interest, i.e., we get at least a couple of other gals apart from me, I will write to Rios official and ask about group discounts.
I've been dying to use the Mods emails account for something totally fun and not just slapping dickheads! :twisted:
Sex God
Quote by JonJon

Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, or M.E., or 'Yuppie Flu' to those of us old enough to know the term, is passed on through bowel fluids. And this is a long term, and very disabling condition that can take YEARS to battle. I know because my friend has it and he caught it whilst rimming

Do you have a source for this (beyond anecdotal evidence) ? ME's come to be regarded as being a post viral condition, not caused by any particular activity or pathogen - hence the change in name to post viral fatigue syndrome confused
Yes I do - direct from a sufferer (my pal). The medication he's on causes his body to eject this thing through the wall of the gut and it gets passed out as nature intends. If you ingest it, you get it too! You would have to ask him specfic details but I'm not going to argue with the guy... smile
But for those of you STILL thinking I'm being over protective about the risks of rimming, try this link and take special note of the final paragraph od the doctor's reply...
Sex God
If you speak to strangers around my way, they'll most probably mug you for your phone... sad
In good old East Kent, it really spooks me when peeps say hello when you pass them in the street. :shock:
Hxx
Sex God
Something I want - Terry to 'make' a piece of Jewelry, like a necklace (and yes I've asked but I doubt he'll do it) sad confused
Something I think I'll get lumbered with - yet another 'smelly bitch kit'. evil I've got 12 years supply of Boo's lavender bath creme :evil: :evil:
Something I would buy for someone else on the site - a big fluffy pair of bedsocks for Jags. She gets ALL the stick from the numpties and needs to be wrapped up some place warm and cherished and fed chicken soup.
Sex God
Quote by mojobiker
Just a few points.
I didn't put a DON'T LIKE IT option because I presumed that from the title, you lot wouldn't bother with it.
I'd just like to make the point that Rimming - to give it its proper name -

How is rimming it's proper (correct) name? Is that like "blow job" is the correct name for fellatio?
Finally, if done with the right attitude towards cleanliness, then no one should get any nasty diseases.
:shock:
We all have to make choices in life, but few people know that some these bugs exist let alone the fact you can catch them in this way. And a bar of carbolic isn't going to shift them no matter how much you'd like it to. Ask any girl who has had a bad case of thrush about the effects of soap. wink
We DO have a policy of safe sex at SH and I view that extends to all sexual contact...
Sex God
Congratulations to you both.... :bounce: :bounce:
It's so wonderful to hear some GOOD news to counter all the trials some of our fellow SH pals have been through recently.
All the best
Heather and Terryxxx
Sex God
I'd just like to make the point that Rimming - to give it its proper name - is one of the simplest ways to catch lots of nasty diseases. And not just the ones that can be cleared up with a dose of Amoxil.
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, or M.E., or 'Yuppie Flu' to those of us old enough to know the term, is passed on through bowel fluids. And this is a long term, and very disabling condition that can take YEARS to battle. I know because my friend has it and he caught it whilst rimming!
Best advice I ever had was to wrap the enitre area in cling film before you play... and it's more fun that way too! :twisted:
Hxx
Sex God
Quote by neilinleeds
erm . . . heather?
far be it from me to be the voice of doom, but i seem to remember a previous all is well in the world post you made, that went quite badly tits up a short while later? involved a plumber IIRC? it's called tempting fate, as i think i pointed out before!
i'll be hiding down in this lil ole bunker i found hidden away somewhere ok? :scared:
neil x x x ;)

Good point, Neil! biggrin
But there is a very special reason why I'm feeling >>> :bounce: :bounce:
Terry would be the last to complain, or even let the rest of the world know what he's been going through these last few months. In short, he's been skint... v. v. skint... so fucking skint that he was within a few weeks of losing his house. I am sure I don't have to go into chapter and verse about what that's done to his pride, etc... And I'll swiftly skim over the reactions to all this that have been coming from those folks in his life that had no faith in him and wanted to see him fail.
But over the weekend, by an act of chance, devine or otherwise, something drew my eyes to a notice written on the back of a sweety bag that was stuck in the local newsagent's window... "Carpenter wanted. Urgent. Four weeks local work."
And the punch line is Terry started the next day and today is his second day...And when the job in finished there's a good chance they will give him more work. :D :D :D
He probably won't be pleased that I've made that public, but of all the people I've met in my life, EVERYONE would have crawled under a rock and given up when faced with what I've seen him go through. And some of your reading this have seen him smile and laugh at munches, etc, when I knew all the time he had £20 in his pocket to last him a week.
I am so proud of him.... :cry: :D :D
Sex God
I am not depressed...
I do not wish to leave this site...
No one has upset me...
I have not been to a munch in the last week...
I am not pregnant...
I haven't just stumbled across a wonderful new web resource...
I do not have relatsionship problems...
I do not wish to start a poll...
Thanks for reading...
As you were. biggrin
Sex God
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Did I read that properly...? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Neilinleeds has scored...? :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
FANTASTIC!
Just goes to show, putting up with all the leg pulling does pay dividends. biggrin
Sex God
Terry calls me Jelly Monster because I always eat all the jelly - lime is best! biggrin
And I call him Snookums because he hates it. :twisted:
Sex God
Just followed the link to 'Sara' from Yorkshire.... lol
Now, isn't it funny that so far 26 people have bid for her, but only one has bid for the geezer...
It's sexism, is what it is!
I do find it odd that Ebay will allow ads like this, when they won't allow Rampant Rabbit auctions.
We should launch a campaign!
Hxx
Sex God
Wilma..
I have always admired your courage - you do realise EVERYONE at the munch is going to be approaching you with tubes of Savlon?
redface surprisedops:
Sex God
You know, sometimes I wonder why we bother...
People who go around casually posting their intentions to Dogg and give out locations and times, well they must have seen Crimewatch, surely? They must have seen pictures of faces bashed in, cars attacked with hammers, thugs making off with wallets, etc...
So if they don't care, why should we?
We should just take note of where these people are going to be, then visit the place up the road... 'cos that one will be safe as ALL the thugs will be laying in wait for the self publicists, won't they?
Who said I'm not smart... wink
Sex God
I've still got mine from the Croydon Munch - and that was over six months back! biggrin
Ice deserves special recognition for his badges. I truly believe he's helped lots of folks get chatting and he should never have to buy a drink again...
kiss for Ice
Sex God
Quote by well_busty_babe
what was heather doign searching for "gigalo" on ebay anyway???????????

lol :lol: :lol:
Actually, I was doing a search for theatre tickets. wink
but I agree... he's a bit of a looker. And I think he should thank me as when I was there the bid was only !