Listing what I have done would fill a page, so I'll just deal with recent history.
Ex company director, Ex Hotel owner, Ex Ladies underwear shop owner, Ex Lorry driver.
Currently, Semi retired, Part time Chauffeur, Novelist, and of course, Occasional Swinger.
And not a qualification to my name.
keith
so much better than me at the whole tarting business . . . .
neil ;-)
Soon know, if we get a reply :!: :!:
Hi all,
I have messages in my outbox. How do I send them?
I have no idea how they ended up in there, but I can't see a way to move or send them. Perhaps I should have an avatar, is there one for thicko?
Keith
Hey Neil, Frogster, Mr RSAB2, Niceguy,
Give us some backing here, will you?
We have Royalty in our midst, and you lot go quiet! What's up, gone all shy?
She's only flesh and nipple and, and, Oh GOD, I can't wait :silly:
Ah! My Dear Countess,
On behalf of Neil, who forgot himself by being overcome with pride at having you address him directly, myself, the rest of the inspection team, our honoures chairlady and committee, welcome you to our humble club.
I am Keith, the clubs official feeler-upper, and with your permission, I am the one who gets to you first, or what I meant to say is, It is my duty to assertain you have just insufficient to to become part of the NSBB's club, rather than being rejected into our larger busted rivals, the WBB's.
I trust you will not find this an indignity, to have your quoted 36b's felt -up, your nipples tweeked and tested for chewyness, or for that matter the balance, one to the other, checked? Hopefully, we will soon also have a difinitive way of checking roundness, cleavage, and firmness when aroused, but unfortunately the meters for these have not been perfected yet, but suppleness, while under my edict at the moment, will be taken over hopefully by a female member in the not too distant future.
Ma'am. Having welcomed you, and laid out our position, may I humbly ask if you would consider offering your patronage to the club? This would benefit us immeasurably, as you tittle on our club standard would obviously draw many more members to us, and allow our committee far more freedom to use the assets those new members will bring.
With you kind permission, my fellow examiners and I, will draft a resolution to place before our Chairlady and the committee, nominationg you as our Royal Patron?
Always considering your other official duties, when may we arrange a time for your obviously un-necessary check-over/examination?
Your obedient servant,
Keith3006
Official club Feeler-Upper
Ah, Mr Niceguy,
Two minor points of order, and please remove your gloves when addressing the committee, thank you.
Point one: As Chair (woman, lady,or person), Mrs RSAB2 is exempt from proving her eligabilty, though with Mr RSAB2's agreement, Mrs RSAB2 does allow new members a free feel from time to time, in a comparative capacity only, and as such I'm afraid you fall outside that criterior, unless of course Mrs RSAB2 requires extra stickiness for the large number of membership packs she will be signing and distributing over the coming week.
Point two: Please only refer to a members anal preferences if you are sure you know the person intimately, as refering to Neil as a bugger could denote to other members that he is either gay, bi, or simply performs this act with women at their request. Please ask my inspectorate colleague to personally clarify this assumtion, before refering to him in these terms, as I'm sure you would not wish to offend either him or any other memebr of the club.
Sorry to be rather blunt, but as Mrs RSAB2 has recently stated, we do need to up-hold the standards of the club, if we are to attract membership in sufficient numbers.
On behalf of the committee,
Keith3006
Neil?
It's going to take you about an hour to get down the motorway, I'll see you at Woodall Services at half eleven, we can be at Clare's in Lincs by half one, two o'clock. Ok? And don't forget your hat!!
But I'm still choking!!
Neil, be a mate? Look, you can hang your hat on Clare's left one, while you give me a clump!
Here, have a chip too, before they go cold.
Hi, welcome, nice to see you, can't spell your name from memory, hello, howdie.
: Now who do we know on here for guidance, Neil perhaps, or even our Sarg? Maybe our Mods could get their heads together and come up with something suitable :?: 
that's not what i meant! ))) some doing rather better than others., and seem to be doing all the donkey work ((( well not donkeys obviously . . . Chipolatas and that! )))
:sticky: :fuckinghell:
