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Kinky_Lizard
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 60
Bi-curious Female, 53
UK

Forum

Quote by Eagerslut9
Isn't it always the same? You've been building up to having a pee for the last 100 miles and have passed innumerable places where you could've stopped, then just when it starts to really get a bit desperate there's nowhere to pull over on the road you're on! Grrrrrrrrr! :shock: :shock:

Why not do what I do Eager S......I always carry a 'piss bucket' with me on long journeys, it can sometimes get pretty full, but there's always a gang of 'hoodies' on the route back home....I've lost count of the amount of times I've emptied that bucket out of the window and showered the little darlings......I like to think I'm doing my bit for society wink
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Me again............I think I've tracked them down, are these the beggars?????

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I'm on the lookout for them, I spotted these bouncing beauts........Are these the ones we are looking for????????
Maybe I should carry on looking.............please....... wink
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Hello Buddy, nice to meet you biggrin

Could have sworn I just saw a ferret running around.........
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I remember asking my first proper girlfriend if she masturbated.....she slapped me round the face and said: "what sort of a girl do you think I am?"
I still carry the scars to this day.....mental ones, not ones from the slap, although it was quite hard.
it's funny really, cos I was gonna ask her if she'd ever taken it up the arse... bolt
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Quote by MrFC
I threatened to give a bloke a good fisting the other night for spilling me beer!!!!


Good job it wasn't Dale Winton MrFC! wink
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Alright lampo! Have you finished panto for this season then? wink
Enjoy yourself mate!
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went to see the damned a couple of weeks ago........great night! sound as good as ever.
is the slimelight still going? used to be a brill club.
Nice to know there as so many people on here with a great taste in music.


I love the old punk music, pop pickers! It's punkTastic!
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I just don't know what to say................. *double boo hoo!*
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Quote by Wishmaster
I'd like to try fisting one day ... then go shake hands with people I don't like ..... hehehe

Would that be the anal kind????? Ewwwwww! :shock:
Talking of small hands.........I've heard Jeremy Beadles quite good.............although on the other hand he's not all that good wink
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Quote by BrightonGeezer
or can you ever have enough?

Does wanking count? If so yes, if not then not for a long time.
At what age are you supposed to grow out of wanking? I reckon I've got hairier palms that a Yeti wink
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Quote by foxylady 123
these arent wellies there waders!
wot sort of perv do you think i am..............................


What the buggery bollox you gonna do with that????? :shock:
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Filey........got some smashing burger vans!
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Quote by marktheminx
these arent wellies there waders!
wot sort of perv do you think i am.................................
SLAM....................................................................................................
door closes abruptly and mark storms off having never been so insulted in his life........
well so far today anayways mad


Mark! those aren't my lucky wellies...........and what you doing with the gas mask? Has Sgt Bilko let one drop again???? He really should go and see his local GP wink
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Quote by sexymale21
or can you ever have enough?


At 21???? NEVER! :twisted:
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Quote by Clare_Lincs
is belly button fluff always blue ???? redface i`ll get me coat bolt

I always thought it was yellow and crusty :shock:

That's the last time I go near your belly button Clare! sheesh!
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I was only joking rolleyes
yeah right,nowt wrong with a bit of stored cheese :evil2:
Mmmmmmmmm! I've been hoping to find a new topping to spread on me scone! biggrin
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D'ya want it with or without fluff on top??? lol
Ordinarily I'd say "without" but as I like to live dangerously I'll say "with"
Have you got enough for 2 scones?
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Quote by marktheminx
marktheminx pops his head round the door again........................................
observes the frolicking in the jacuzi..............................................................
walks away " if only ide have been a couple of minutes earlier" :cry:
such luck.................................

Here, try my luck wellies for size mark.........they seem to do something for Clare :twisted:
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Quote by Clare_Lincs
is belly button fluff always blue ???? redface i`ll get me coat bolt

I always thought it was yellow and crusty :shock:

That's the last time I go near your belly button Clare! sheesh!
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I was only joking rolleyes
yeah right,nowt wrong with a bit of stored cheese :evil2:
Mmmmmmmmm! I've been hoping to find a new topping to spread on me scone! biggrin
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Quote by Clare_Lincs
Do you need to remove your wellies before coming in????

No keep em on,but the rest has to come off :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Ooooh! cum and get me Clare..... :twisted:
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Quote by Clare_Lincs
is belly button fluff always blue ???? redface i`ll get me coat bolt

I always thought it was yellow and crusty :shock:

That's the last time I go near your belly button Clare! sheesh!
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I still like pushing the trolley really fast and jumping on it for the ride. Great fun! Unless you get the one with the wonky wheel. I feel bad about the old lady and the Shredded Wheat incident but she really should have seen me coming..........
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Quote by Clare_Lincs
Shaven balls feel so much better when they are slapping against your arse while your being fucked on all fours :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

I love that "earthy" language that some women use
You're not a Mills & Boon gal then Clare wink
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Hmmmmmm that's an easy one.......
....although you got used to it after a few weeks
and before you ask.........i did brush his teeth before the tongue went in wink
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Nice one Nana Vicky
The glamorous gran of SH biggrin
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Howdy Pedro, please leave your sombrero and colt 45 at the door wink
Hope you find the gringo ladies to your likin'
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WBB and Mr Mike.
This can open up a whole new exciting life for you......
NOW, when you have people round to your place you can play draughts, backgammon, scrabble, bridge, hunt the thimble (THE CLEAN VERSION BUSTY!!!) and So many other super parlour games………
Also, think of all those new clothes you can now wear busty. A pastel winceyette, BELOW the knee skirt, vest, cardigan, flat shoes, donkey jacket…….
Bet you guys can’t wait wink
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Quote by Eagerslut9
How about "Welcome Willy"? lol :lol:
Not sure why but it sounds familiar! :undecided: :undecided: dunno
That's definitely not George Bush :twisted:
blink :blink:

like you're a good judge on 'bush's' Eager wink
kin' Lizard

Mrs Kinky has actually been banned from all wet t-shirt competitions in the north of England! FACT!
wink
kin' Lizard
Quote by westerross
Right this is an official 'Fluck Me!'. It's connected with the re-appearance of our old mate Kinks from the Planet Kinky (PK) but it's aimed at the fact that I just calmly tried to answer the question first time around when we hadn't seen the King of PK for so long.
So here's an opportunity for everybody to Fluck Me....... - right that's it over now - you didn't expect me to make it a long term offer did ya??
Well - all I can say is it's great to see you again. Don't make it a fleeting visit :!:

same ol' tune ; )
cheers fella : )

Clare said:
Bloody Hell Kinky Bugger off and then come back as if youve never been away
Welcome back

Awww cheers Clare xxxxxxxx
Debbiewebs sexily typed:
Kinky
where have you been . missed ya

Missed you too babe xxxxxxxx
hornyred and dino did say:
Hi kinky , good to see you back . You probably dont remember me but i sure remember you, ,,,,your the funny one arnt you xxxx. welcome back

Funny odd? yeah! wink
of course I remember yah! x

little minx jas said:
Ooo Kinky
How are you and Mrs Kinky? We still need to sort that night out ya bugger
Lovely to see you again
Jas
XXX

Yeah, we will defo get summat arranged xxxx biggrin
old codger mal somehow moved his arthritic fingers across the keyboard to say:
Oi!!!
Wind yer neck in, young man!!
Nice to see you back - the rest of you is crap, but......................... !!!!
Mal

Hey! SH police guy! So you're still here too? damn.........:wink:
Serendipity typed with her slim elegant manicured fingers:
Hi Kinky
I haven't seen you since we were playing Guess the 80s Pop Star! Lovely to see you back

Ah, the old days...........lovely to see you too dipity! :D
kin lizard