Keeno, I'm wondering why no-one has responded to my previous comment... this has actually happened to me.. yet no responses.....
I can see them too... must be a virusy thing somewhere!
I have been following this thread with interest.. and have posted on here earlier on. This is taking me a lot to put this.. but I feel I have to.
When I was it wasn't by just one man... I had been set up. And they deliberately got me drunk. I can't remember much, and don't particularly want to either, but I kept saying no. I wasn't dressed in revealing clothes, and didn't put across to this person I wanted to end up in his house. As I previously stated, I felt I couldn't go to the police as I knew then that it would be my word against theirs, and because I couldn't remember exactly what happened, it would go against me.
As a result, I don't put myself in any situation where I think I might have trouble, and am vary wary and careful when I go out. I never drink alcohol when out on my own, and only in the company of someone I trust when I am out as a couple.
It is a VERY gray area... and something that the law needs to look at. I honestly feel sorry for those who have been falsely accused.. we recently had a case locally where a man was accused of , and it turned out the woman who accused him was late home, and told her husband she had been .. to make an excuse for her lateness. Luckily this man was vindicated, but it completely trashed his life....
Unless you have actually been through something like this, as I have, it is difficult to make assumptions.
Some very thought provoking threads going on at the moment... this one is especially close to me.
In 2005 I lost my husband. The coroner recorded the cause of death as natural but alcohol played a part in his state of health up to his death. (Though another supposed factor was the side effect of a drug he shouldn't have been prescribed...)
He used alcohol to "not feel anything" and they were his precise words. He lost his dad at 13 to cancer, then his mum at 21 to cancer, after nursing her on his own for years (no help from family) we then lost people over the next few years to various things, but the majority to cancer. When my mum died of a heart attack in 1998 that was the start of the "falldown" (another one of his words)
He lost his best friend to cancer in 2002, then another passed away suddenly, then my brother was diagnosed with non Hodgkins lymphoma. It was in 2003 when he had to leave his job as he couldn't cope without a drink. He had worked in that job for over 26 years and in that time had only taken two days off for a leg injury, even working while his mum was ill. He had never had anything off the state until that point.. and it took four months to get that sorted. He had paid into the system in that 26 years a lot of money.. so we didn't see anything wrong in asking for help now that we needed it.. though others thought differently.
They didn't think he should have anything because he was an "alkie". But before he got really bad, he used to help others with their addictions, because he understood what they were going through. Yet we had one hell of a job getting help as in Oxford only 20% of alcoholics get help, though 100% of drug addicts get it. I can't fault the people who tried though.
Like peanut said, alcoholism IS a disease, though some poo poo this. A lot of people with any sort of addiction use it to cope. My husband couldn't deal with all the loss that we had gone through, and he finally passed away 3 months after my brother died of cancer in September 2005. That was the final nail...
What a lot of people don't realise is that it is just as hard for the families... I went through hell dealing with it... I was racing up and down the country as my brother was in Yorkshire, and my husband was ill in Oxford... plus trying to keep a job at the same time. I guess I'm just one of those people who can deal with things.. I just get on with it.. though my coping mechanism is OCD....
The point is.. some can and some can't. But please, please don't judge someone without knowing their story first.. at his funeral over 300 people came as he was so well loved.. he was a happy drunk.. yes there are some... I have been in the local papers and national magazines about this subject, and also on BBC news. I am not one to give advice, but can point people in the right direction, having been there, done that.
Sorry this turned into a bit of a rant.. its just something I had to get off my chest...
Please look beyond the bottle and try to understand why they do it.....
I also have strong views on this, and I won't go into too many details but it happened to me. It is a very gray area.. I didn't feel that I could go to the Police as I didn't feel that I would be believed...
Where I live a case has just finished, where the two alleged rapists were found not guilty as the woman had admitted she had been taking drugs and was drunk to the point of being comatose, and was told that she did not have the responsibility to say no, but then also could have said yes.
What happened to me was not my fault, and all I will say is that I was either drugged or they got me drunk.. I couldn't say no.... though I wanted to...
I have also seen the word in the chatrooms and it sickens me.... maybe some people find that sort of thing a turn on.. but to those of us that it has actually happened to.. its not.
This is a very thought provoking thread....
What about the Kasprovich vs Daisivich moves of 2001? some sly pointing going on there....
Personally I think its in Paddington.
I got chatting to someone on here.. then on msn... they didn't have any pictures on their profile.. when they came on cam I saw Timmy Mallett's lookalike... I thought they were completely different.. they knew what I looked like as I have pics on my profile.. he is a very nice chap though!
Will be thinking about you hun take care xxxxx
And thank you for starting them! I must admit I do look out for your postings... long may they continue! x
I have to work in the morning, then going to spend the rest of the day sofa surfing... had a hectic week, so I think I deserve some "me" time... got my other half staying over so having lie ins and snuggles.. bliss!
I am sat here giggling now...
Hope my crops are better next year....
The last film I saw at the cinema was in 1996 - this was so much different. We went the whole hog and had super deluxe seating - popcorn.. the whole nine yards. But the film.. WOW! :shock: The acting was superb - and the special effects were brilliant.. I especially liked the burn victims prosthetics...
was not a happy bunny!