I'd forgotten quite how much I hate that song!
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Mr_D_and_HotTart
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Male, 57
Bisexual Female, 62
0 miles · Hereford and Worcester
Forum
Reminds me of a wonderful monologue I once heard in a comedy club... If you look at the list of ingredients of Preparation H you'll find 'Extract of Whale's Liver'
The only rational explanation for this is that some poor bloke was wondering along a beach many years ago, complaining bitterly about his bumgrapes, when he came upon the decaying corpse of a stranded whale. 'Hmm" he thought to himself "Well, it can't really make it hurt any more, can it?". Whereupon he reached deep into the festering pile of whale organs, pulled out the bhemoth's massive liver, and crammed as much of it as possible where the sun doesn't shine.
The only rational explanation for this is that some poor bloke was wondering along a beach many years ago, complaining bitterly about his bumgrapes, when he came upon the decaying corpse of a stranded whale. 'Hmm" he thought to himself "Well, it can't really make it hurt any more, can it?". Whereupon he reached deep into the festering pile of whale organs, pulled out the bhemoth's massive liver, and crammed as much of it as possible where the sun doesn't shine.
I have to profess a liking for 'the money shot', which leads me to my big criticism of the porn industry. What the hell is up with fading to black the very instant the guy has cum? Is blank tape really that prescious?
The best porn films are ones where we get to see a long, lingering clean up operation on the guy, getting every last drop out, and not stopping until he's soft enough for the girl to deep-throat him with a smile (amongst other things) on her face. The worst fade to black instantly, or after a few seconds of the girl giving the cameraman a 'thank god that's over can I have my money now' look. Way to spoil the mood!
The best porn films are ones where we get to see a long, lingering clean up operation on the guy, getting every last drop out, and not stopping until he's soft enough for the girl to deep-throat him with a smile (amongst other things) on her face. The worst fade to black instantly, or after a few seconds of the girl giving the cameraman a 'thank god that's over can I have my money now' look. Way to spoil the mood!
There seems to be a trend towards showing a final 'ass to mouth' shot before the guy cums, with no edits to prove the guy hasn't cleaned himself up between anal and a cumshot in the girl's mouth.
I pride myself on being open minded, but I have to say I find this a bit offputting, especially when it means the girl is less inclined to do a nice long lingering clean-up operation on the guy... which reminds me, I'm off to the 'best bit of a porn film' thread to post on that very subject :twisted:
I pride myself on being open minded, but I have to say I find this a bit offputting, especially when it means the girl is less inclined to do a nice long lingering clean-up operation on the guy... which reminds me, I'm off to the 'best bit of a porn film' thread to post on that very subject :twisted:
It's wonderful to see so many positive responses, it's really made all the effort worthwhile 
If anyone out there is thinking about running their first munch, I have two pieces of advice for you: Firstly, go for it, you'll have an amazing sense of achievement when you see all those happy horny drunken faces, and secondly, don't try and do it alone! As I'm sure you are aware, Denise put in a huge amount of work in on this, and this was her munch much more than mine, without her the night simply wouldn't have happened. 3 cheers for Denise!
:wave2: :wave2: :wave2:
I'm sorry I didn't get more of a chance to actually talk to people, but by the time I'd finished running around it was time to go home, so please accept my apologies if I appeared to be a shambling bundle of stress rather than a genteel and eloquent host!
I'd also like to make up for an omission I made when I was suddenly handed the mic and expected to give a speech... There is one thing you need to make a munch a success, and that is a crowd of amazing people to make the journey there and party the night away. Even the bar staff commented they had never seen so many people drink so much without tempers rising, so please imagine me giving you lot the round of applause you should have had on the night. You were great :D
If anyone out there is thinking about running their first munch, I have two pieces of advice for you: Firstly, go for it, you'll have an amazing sense of achievement when you see all those happy horny drunken faces, and secondly, don't try and do it alone! As I'm sure you are aware, Denise put in a huge amount of work in on this, and this was her munch much more than mine, without her the night simply wouldn't have happened. 3 cheers for Denise!
:wave2: :wave2: :wave2:
I'm sorry I didn't get more of a chance to actually talk to people, but by the time I'd finished running around it was time to go home, so please accept my apologies if I appeared to be a shambling bundle of stress rather than a genteel and eloquent host!
I'd also like to make up for an omission I made when I was suddenly handed the mic and expected to give a speech... There is one thing you need to make a munch a success, and that is a crowd of amazing people to make the journey there and party the night away. Even the bar staff commented they had never seen so many people drink so much without tempers rising, so please imagine me giving you lot the round of applause you should have had on the night. You were great :D
The Swinging Heaven chatroom has moved servers, it's now at:
IRC Server:
Channel: #SwingingHeaven
(or just click the chatroom link if that means nothing to you!).
You'll need to re-register your nick the first time you use the new server.
As I understand it, this server does actually belong to SH, and the old Starchat one didn't.
IRC Server:
Channel: #SwingingHeaven
(or just click the chatroom link if that means nothing to you!).
You'll need to re-register your nick the first time you use the new server.
As I understand it, this server does actually belong to SH, and the old Starchat one didn't.
Just a quick note about what to exepect on the night.
You'll be greeted on the door by a friendly SH doorman (probably me) who will ask you your name, tick you off the list and give you a pretty badge to wear. Reporters have been known to nose around SH events, so we are being cautious about who gets in, even though this is a puely social event. If yer name's not down, yer not getting in, as the song goes. This rule includes any guests you might bring along... if you are on the list as a couple, we won't be letting 3 of you in, and if you are down as bringing 1 guest, and you bring 2, you'll have to pick someone to spend the night in the car park.
You will also be asked to chip in a voluntary contribution to cover the cost of room hire, of £3 a head. All profits from this will go to charity - as will money raised by selling raffle tickets for a range of 'fabulous prizes'! The organisers, doormen, DJ etc. are all giving their time for free, so you won't be lining anyone's pockets.
Once you've been strip-searched (only if I really fancy you!) and let in, you'll find yourself in the company of as pleasant a crowd of like-minded people as you are likely to find anywhere, and I'm sure you'll soon get over any first-munch nerves.
Please don't forget that this is a pub not a club, with 'vanilla' bar staff, so any behaviour that would get you thrown out of a normal pub on a normal day will probably result in you getting thrown out of the pub! If you are bringing a camera, please don't share the photos around without getting permission from everyone who might be recognisable first.
Ok, that's the lecture over, I hope everyone has a really great time... and what you naughty people might decide get up to after leaving the pub is entirely your business
You'll be greeted on the door by a friendly SH doorman (probably me) who will ask you your name, tick you off the list and give you a pretty badge to wear. Reporters have been known to nose around SH events, so we are being cautious about who gets in, even though this is a puely social event. If yer name's not down, yer not getting in, as the song goes. This rule includes any guests you might bring along... if you are on the list as a couple, we won't be letting 3 of you in, and if you are down as bringing 1 guest, and you bring 2, you'll have to pick someone to spend the night in the car park.
You will also be asked to chip in a voluntary contribution to cover the cost of room hire, of £3 a head. All profits from this will go to charity - as will money raised by selling raffle tickets for a range of 'fabulous prizes'! The organisers, doormen, DJ etc. are all giving their time for free, so you won't be lining anyone's pockets.
Once you've been strip-searched (only if I really fancy you!) and let in, you'll find yourself in the company of as pleasant a crowd of like-minded people as you are likely to find anywhere, and I'm sure you'll soon get over any first-munch nerves.
Please don't forget that this is a pub not a club, with 'vanilla' bar staff, so any behaviour that would get you thrown out of a normal pub on a normal day will probably result in you getting thrown out of the pub! If you are bringing a camera, please don't share the photos around without getting permission from everyone who might be recognisable first.
Ok, that's the lecture over, I hope everyone has a really great time... and what you naughty people might decide get up to after leaving the pub is entirely your business
Just a quick confirmation that we are NOT restricting single males - as you can see, we have 43 of them on the list at the moment.
The only restiction we have applied is that we've only invited people who are active on the forums, or in the chatroom (or have been vouched for by people who are), so some people haven't been invited if (for example) their only post on the site was a few months ago in this thread.
The only restiction we have applied is that we've only invited people who are active on the forums, or in the chatroom (or have been vouched for by people who are), so some people haven't been invited if (for example) their only post on the site was a few months ago in this thread.
Damn, see what happens when I don't check the forums for a day or two?
Puts on his best dom voice...
:twisted: "You WILL put me on the reserve list! Or I'll be forced to... erm, er, not punish anyone because I won't be there!"
Well that didn't go as well as expected, guess I need more practice?
Puts on his best dom voice...
:twisted: "You WILL put me on the reserve list! Or I'll be forced to... erm, er, not punish anyone because I won't be there!"
Well that didn't go as well as expected, guess I need more practice?
