Quote by pleasureseeker
Hello all, Im very new on here and have been having a look around the site. I am married with kids and ...well I like what I see! however I have a wife who most certainly wouldnt like what Im seeing. Ive been faithfully married for 19 years but getting pretty peed off by my wifes decreasing interest in sex (queue up those with the "have you tried....etc" ...yes I have and some maybe my fault but I am not taking the blame, I am prepared to try different thingswithin our marriage but my wife most certainly is not) hence the dear deadrie post. Is there abyone else who has been or is in a similar situation? if so do you, or anyone have any advice before I wank myself stupid? this post will look like I havent got a clue what I want...well havent but quite open minded. have a dig if you feel like it but this is how it is.

Quote by quimninja305070
right i`m officially bored of the every day hum drum, as the title suggestes fed up with the mundane, i/we want to do somethin exciting, cant do it till next year as were getting married in october and that has seriously fucked up our funds but any suggestions for the new year will be greatly recieved, i know you lot will cheer me up, even if its to just take the piss..............oh and the mrs is scared of heights so that does limit some of your ideas......

Stand outside the Town Hall shouting Big Issue, Big Issue, Big Issue, ad infinitum, the same as I get forty times every time I dare to go into town, also, on every corner and pedestrian precinct in the City centre, only a pound, only a pound!!! :lol: :lol: :( :(

Quote by chadders245
Olny srmat poelpe can.
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the
ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and
lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you
can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos
not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
This is especially great research for me as Im terrible at spelling!
So who read it first time and understood it?

EH!!! WHAT??? :roll: :roll:

Quote by stephen1980
I had a embarrasing moment . it was during my stay at a hotel. i was going down in the lift when another person whom i havent met until then started talking to asked 'How are you?" and I answered "Fine" surprised at it. He then asked me "What else are you up to" and i replied "nothing". Finally he turned to me and said "Do You Mind I Am On The Phone"!!.It was then that i realized he was talking on his Mobile
well, i hoped you liked that, hope to read some of the members stories on here

One transport job I had was delivering milk from the dairy to a retailers at a farm, my workmate was tormenting me as we worked on the lorry unloading, not knowing the farmers wife was stood behing me, I turned round and said : now F**k off C**T and I don't care if the farmers wife is listening, everything went quiet and I heard a voice say : oh, don't you........it was the farmers wife!!! I had a red face for the rest of the day. ops: :oops: :shock: :shock: :shock: :silly:

Quote by richardm
Well this morning for the first time in quite a few years I woke up screaming from what was a very strange nightmare. It was something like this...
There was a very disturbed young man who moved back into home after having some problem or something with his partner. He had a real fetish for blue and use to paint his mum blue and ask her to cuddle him, which of course was a little strange and he was very dangerous if he didn't get his blue cuddle then he would get voilent and the only thing that would calm him down was to get his blue way. She stayed with him for a while to protect others but of course when enough was enough and he was alseep and she was coated in paint she decided to make a run for it. She crept downstairs opened the door after panicking at the noise opening the door was making she started to run down the street, just a normal
housing estate type place. As she ran she glanced back at the open door and couldn't see him following and as she ran she saw other people a black and white couple, an asian couple. She turned a corner in the street glancing back to see her son just leaving the house and looking around not having spotted her. Running down the side road strange I know she saw a couple where the man was painted blue and was starting to think that maybe her son wasn't so strange. As she was pondering this she glanced back and saw her son round the corner. She immediately jumped a low wall and laid down behind it panicking and trying to be still. Looking up she could see the man painted in blue looking over the wall at her stomach. She looked down to see what he was staring at, to see her sons face looking back at her as he had caught up with her.
I woke up screaming....
So what is your most strange nightmare?

Many years ago I had a recurring nightmare, I was being chased by the devil on the edge of a 300 ft. high cliff, I was running like the wind and kept looking over my shoulder and could clearly see the pointed ears, the evil leer on its face and the pitchfork in its claw, to say I was terrified is a gross understatement, then suddenly I slipped over the edge into oblivion..................I woke up.............. :twisted:

Quote by steanrachy
being a Sunday and boiling hot in the garden me an rach were chatting shit as you do on such days and looking through all the exotic holiday brouchers at the trips we will never be able to afford......
anyway to cut a long story short we happened upon the idea of what would be our perfect day.....
if you could have 24 hrs and money was NO object what and how would you spend your time doing?? it does have to be realistic though, ie, you cant fly all over the world and do ALL the things you would love to do, just what you could do during a period of one full day, money being NO object ??........

Quote by wolvie_dude
I've just been out for a walk with the dog, enjoying a gentle stroll down by the river on this lovely and sunny afternoon. Everything was perfect until I started being dive bombed by a giant dragonfly. Now I grew up in the country, and am no stranger to countryside insects, but this 'thing' was different. It was absolutely massive! It looked like it had just escaped from sellafield along with blue's spiderman cakes, and although I'm a big guy, I was scared of this thing. No amount of swatting, or shooing would rid me of the terrible beast, and it was upsetting the poor dog as well. Eventually we both made a run for it and escaped its evil clutches..
My point is, has anyone else out there been plagued by giant bugs over this extremely dry summer we've just had, or are all the mutants confined to my dog walking paths??

Haven't been plagued this year, but on holiday in Scotland many years ago, I was nearly eaten alive by midges in "Glen Affric" as soon as I got out of the Caravette, I was covered in them so that my bare legs, arms, face, neck and ears turned black and itchy lumps appeared immediately, I had to cover up for the rest of my vacation and days for the itching to subside. :P

Quote by LisaMarie
Hi everyone,
Having now succesfully swung, what a way to put it, and to discover that i am slightly bi -sexual comes the hard part.
How do you tell people that you do not want to swing with them.
I hate hurting peoples feelings but cant go with someone that ifind unattractive.
this part of swinging is unsettling me as i dont want to hurt people or make any
enemies.
please post with exuses or reassurance for me.
lisamarie

Say to them : you are a lovely person, but I am not interested, don't blame yourself it is not you, it is me and I am not nice to know. ops: :oops: :wink: :wink:

Quote by WhyTheHellNot!!!!!!
Whos your fav porn star/ model and why ??????
is it personality or there special talents ???
Rocco Siffredi does great movies !!!
S+V

Any young woman !!! :roll: :roll: :rose:
She's female!!!

Quote by dargento
just wondered if im in the minority waking up early at about 6 or 7 am and first thing i think about is rumpy pumpy...
had mixed reactions you see from usual "no ive got headache"
to "mmmmmm just a little lower"
ps this isnt me trying to catch up with wishmaster :shock:

I am definately an evening person, because when I wake in the morning, I feel so rotten that I look in the obituary column first to see if Iv'e died and if I have I don't bother getting up. :P :roll: :happy:

Quote by postie
OK. Weird but maybe interesting.
Something that's always intrigued me is time travel. Presuming you had a time-machine at your disposal, that you could use only once and you could zip off to somewhere in history that really grabs your attention and spend a few days there, where would you go?? Any time any place...
you can dress up Mr Ben styleee and take anything you need to fit in...
For me it would be pre-Roman Britain, just as they are building Stonehenge. Just to see if all the theories are right... or was it a bunch of stoned druids who were bored one afternoon having a laugh...

I would go back to my first birthday, to start my life again and knowing what I know now, have plenty of confidence, make a fortune and lead a luxury lifestyle, a posh home in each beautifull country around the World and live to be 150yrs. with gorgeous girls at my beck and call for ever. Mmmm if only stop it! your'e making me miserable. :roll: :roll: :wink: :wink: :silly:

Quote by Caron_sw
Hi everyone
We have been loitering around here for a while, so thought it was time we introduced ourselves.
My name is Caron, and hubby is Pete. I am relatively new to the world of forums so please excuse any mistakes, I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it eventually.
Having browsed through the topics the one thing that struck me was how wonderfully friendly everyone seems to be on here.
I am really looking forward to getting to know you all a lot better.
Oh, nearly forgot the information part……………(sorry being coached here by someone who introduced me to the site)
Ok we are a couple, we live in the south west, both 45 yo and are looking for two things really
Socially we are looking for like minded friends to share some time with, have a laugh, maybe go out for a drink occasionally, catch a movie, invite for a meal etc, you know, the kind of thing friends do.
Sexually we are looking for a female friend who wants all of the above, but with the added bonus of a sexual relationship too, did I mention that I am Bi ? No? well I am, very
that’s it really, if you want to know any more, please ask as I don’t bite, and welcome any contact.
Love
Caron.

Hi Caron and Pete : Welcome. :shock:

Quote by Wishmaster
I'm gonna have to be predictable here ........ mine IS to do with sex!
I've always wanted to be the only guy with 6 women for a marathon sex session. I'd like 6 fit young ladies (25-35), who know exactly how to please a man - and each other!!
They would be:
1 Redhead
1 Blonde
1 Brunette
1 Oriental girl
1 African girl
1 Indian girl
Hmmm... I get horny just thinking about it!!!

I slow down for a Brunette,
Stop for a Blonde,
Back up for a redhead!!! :P

Quote by well_busty_babe
Ok,
so we all know that sex can make you sweaty, and in all honesty to some people the smell of fresh sweat is a turn on. But where do you draw the line?
I was talking to a mate on msn last night who said she had made plans to meet a stunning guy from another site.
He turned up and was just as delicious looking in real life as he was in the photo.
They chatted and got on well, until it got to the stage where they moved somewhere “a bit more comfortable”.
It was not till they had got quite carried away that it hit her.
He peeled off his clothes and she said the smell blew her away.
This does not seem too unusual, except for the fact that she carried on!
I was shocked at the idea that she was
a) able to have sex with someone who stunk
and
b) did not say anything to him.
I do not believe that this person can not have known that they were smelly, so I think it was very disrespectful to both himself and my mate for him to turn up to a meet in that state.
Now days there is no reason for ANYONE to smell.
How would other people deal with this?
Personally I would have told the smelly C##T to go and have a shower and then get on his bike, but is that just me?

I had the same experience many years ago, the woman I had started going out with, to the country, cinema, meal, nights in seemed quite fragrant until we got into bed the first time and as soon as she opened her legs, the smell was so vile and when I touched her private parts it was just evil smelling slime and I could have vomited there and then, needles to say, I didn't meet her any more. :( :roll: :roll:

Quote by fembernie
OK - I have been pondering now for ages about actually posting this. I may even regret posting it - but here goes. I got very drunk at the weekend (as some of you know!). I even fell over, banged my head on the ground (very hard apparantley) but don't have any recollection of it! How bad is that? I am now giving serious thought to my level of drinking and need to find out how best to tackle it. I find that once I begin drinking, I just carry on - I don't always know when to stop but wish I did. Having blackouts is not good either.
I have a very good friend who will go out, have 2 drinks and thats it. I say I will have 2 drinks, then say "oh go on, I will have one more" which then leads into 4, 5 or more ! I don't get pissed all the time - but I get pissed more often than I should. I am now wondering how to handle social events. I am due to go to the Leics Munch soon, but am contempating cancelling as there will be lots of alcohol about and it's a long night. I am wondering if I could go and control my drinking - but as I have tried this before - and failed - I don't see that as a solution.
So..................there you go! This is what I have been pondering over and over since last night. I have a very good friend from this site, Corrie. She is on holiday in Egypt at the moment or else I would have been having this serious talk with her right now. Thats me done now - bye xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

WILLPOWER !!! The only way is to stop drinking alcohol now, any kind of soft drink or tap water, bottled water,tea, coffee or milk, the only person who can do it is yourself, fortunately for me, I have never had a problem with drink as I don't like it anyhow, but you will have to stop immediately, or be in serious trouble. :roll: :roll:

Quote by bailiffs
last night after a knackering day me and mr B snuggled up to watch one of my favorate films, The Day After Tomorrow.
After shitting myself halfway through because a spider (the size of a small plate.)(including the legs) ran straight past me and my dogs and dissapeared!...................its still AWOL!(im scared) anyway after watching the film it kinda got me abit parranoid!!
ive seen alot of stuf about going "green" and i dont mean like this

so are any of you "green"? and if so does recycling and buying organic food etc....... have a big impact on your life?? is it all worth "saving the planet" from climate changes that we are seeing alot more of?
louxxx

If there's any green in my eyes, it's the reflection from yours !!! Ha Ha. :P

Quote by blonde
He popped home for lunch
We were in the living room
I look up and there's the window cleaner :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
I dont know what he saw ............ but he is smiling through the patio doors as I type this
:lol: I wanna die :lol: :lol:
Have u ever been caught ?

Can I b yr wndw clnr plse, jst lkng wld mke me hppy
:lol: ops: :P :happy:

Quote by sexymidscouple
Hi
We are new to the scene (well we're thinking about it) and have read these pages but need advice
We would like to go to a swingers club but are perturbed by the many references to the average age at these clubs being 'in their 30's' and how beautiful fit and slim everyone is in the website pix
We are 52 (M) and 48 (F)...
Are there any clubs in this country specifically for the old and worn out would be swinger? We're realistic in that it's been a long time ince we were slim/fit/athletic/beautiful
Thanks in advance
P&K
PS Not looking for invites etc...just the advice thanks...we've read about the pests that can't seemingly read

Age 52 and 48 ??? don't know what you are worried about, your are still young, if you were my age, you wouldn't have any chance at all : jump in and enjoy !!! :silly:

Quote by tripod1971
hi ladies
have u ever left ur knickers in unusual places please tell us
i saw a lady hanging her red lacy nicks out of truck window on motorway that got me going.
I have heard a story on here about knickers left on door handles.
or left behind in hotel
or on seat by side of u
please tell us !!!!!!!!!

Quote by onlyme1981
Apparently something like this:
Permatanned women who wear plunging leopard-print dresses and men with too much aftershave and medallions round their necks.
This was in a book I read recently...... is this how people see swingers? Do you recognise yourself there :
I've not met anyone of that description yet....although I'll definitely be on the lookout in future

Quote by equi-princess
So the long awaited meet up has arrived........you're chatting and relaxed in eachothers' presence...
What makes that final decision for you...... the one that says... yes... i really want to drag this person off to a room and enjoy all the pleasures that two people can give eachother.... whether passionate and furiously fast or langourously slowly teasing and touching until you cannot take any more....???
Is it the meeting of the eyes..... the silent message that passes between you.... the one that says yes............. i really want to make love to you.........???
Or something else?
equi-princess xxx

The thing that clinches it for me is when she says.........would you like a chip buttie??? :roll:

Quote by warwick
Im happy
Dont know why i just am. sure the weathers not great the economys in the stew, theres no grand Prix to watch at the weekend but despite this Im in a great mood.
You know that feeling you get sometimes where you just cant help being up (which does mean you can really grate on people who arent) well Ive got it
So if you want to let your happy bits out come along and smile :D
Sorry Ill probably have to fetch my coat but anyone else in a good mood for no apparent reason :

I'm happy most of the time : about 99% having been blessed with an optimistic nature, I sing, talk, laugh, share jokes, feel good to be alive, sorry for the grumpy gits, their lives must be a misery. :lol: :lol:

Quote by challo
hi all
i got a problem,,,, i love my job and the people i work with, few weeks ago a manager left and has approached me to go to work with him at a new company the moneys better the jobs has shorter hours there are more holidays and it a more senior post,
why havent i gone yet thats what your thinking well here are the reasons
i dont realy like the guy had a few rows with him, i realy realy love what im doing and who i do it for and with, when i told the company i am with they offered me more money and told me the next promotion is mine,
except now they tell me ive got to wait for a guy to leave (he's been there 15yrs) and i carnt have the pay rise till he goes.....
the job offer with the new compay still stands
over to you guys ....... should i stay or should i go ?????
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Stay where you are, you are happy and get on with everyone there, If you go, you are going to the unknown, their promises sound like pie in the sky, once you have moved it is too late, don't jump out of the frying pan into the fire. :cry: :P :small-print:

Quote by Phoenix
Well, I have just put the holding fee down on a new flat.
For a single guy, do you think a double bed in the bedroom and a double futon in the livingroom is enough
As a question to the group, if you are single or became single what would your criteria be for a new abode. :

Quote by easy
This isn't a bad site
The condition of depression is a change of chemical balance in the brain. What triggers it is still open to dispute.
My personal opinion is that its a mixture of environmental influences (stress, life problems etc) and an individuals biological make-up. Some people just seem prone to depression and once it starts it's a never-ending vicious circle.
Antidepressents usually affect the chemical balance in the brain and help the sufferer handle the day-to-day things in a better way or stabalise their moods. It's not really a cure, it's more like a sticking plaster until the sufferer can determine what's triggered them or has dealt with the problems in their lives.
Just my take anyway. I'm sure someone else has more information etc.
I do honestly believe that it is a physical problem, whether it's the environment or the chemical inbalance that causes the problem is probably different from sufferer to sufferer.