Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Resonance
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 52
Bisexual Female, 52
0 miles · Merseyside
Forum
Sex God
I've got lots and lots of these:
"Oh the Head waiter, oh oh, livin' on a prayer..." - Bon Jovi
"We didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the worst attorney" - Billy Joel
"I should have told you that you killed the wrong hen (and from later in the same song) Beat it, Beat It, Show an apple core and beat it, Short hot and Funky..." - Michael Jackson
"I wanna Staple the vicar - you give me love in a Femidom" - We are Family by Sister Sledge (Peter Kay does a routine based on this now).
The Elton John song "Rocket Man - features the line " Rocket Man - Burning out his fuse up here alone" which has been sung as:
"Rocket Man - Burning up the trees on every lawn"
"Rocket Man - Burning up his Fuchsia pheromones"
"Rocket Man - Burning up the shoes of Babylon"
"Rocket Man - Burning up the shoes of everyone"
"Rocket Man - Burning up his views of heaven's home"
My personal favourite due to the sheer number of misheard lyrics throughout the song is:
Miss Egina Bartle by the Police.
"Just across the way, an island looks at Seal
Another lonely day, no-one here but Neil,
More loneliness, any man cut hair
Bust your knee before I fall into this pair-oh
I'll send an SOS to the Wirral
I'll send an SOS to the Wirral
I hope that someone gets my x 3
Miss Egina Bartle x 3
A year has passed since I broke my nose,"
Then from the refrain at the end of the song...
"Send Bernard an SOS..." :-)
"Oh the Head waiter, oh oh, livin' on a prayer..." - Bon Jovi
"We didn't start the fire, it was always burning since the worst attorney" - Billy Joel
"I should have told you that you killed the wrong hen (and from later in the same song) Beat it, Beat It, Show an apple core and beat it, Short hot and Funky..." - Michael Jackson
"I wanna Staple the vicar - you give me love in a Femidom" - We are Family by Sister Sledge (Peter Kay does a routine based on this now).
The Elton John song "Rocket Man - features the line " Rocket Man - Burning out his fuse up here alone" which has been sung as:
"Rocket Man - Burning up the trees on every lawn"
"Rocket Man - Burning up his Fuchsia pheromones"
"Rocket Man - Burning up the shoes of Babylon"
"Rocket Man - Burning up the shoes of everyone"
"Rocket Man - Burning up his views of heaven's home"
My personal favourite due to the sheer number of misheard lyrics throughout the song is:
Miss Egina Bartle by the Police.
"Just across the way, an island looks at Seal
Another lonely day, no-one here but Neil,
More loneliness, any man cut hair
Bust your knee before I fall into this pair-oh
I'll send an SOS to the Wirral
I'll send an SOS to the Wirral
I hope that someone gets my x 3
Miss Egina Bartle x 3
A year has passed since I broke my nose,"
Then from the refrain at the end of the song...
"Send Bernard an SOS..." :-)
Sex God
Can someone direct me to the Christian Science Reading room please?
I was happy slurping my Horlicks down my front and doing nothing more exotic than a trip to B&Q of a weekend and polishing my Volvo. Next thing I know...
As a relative new-oldie, I hope to perhaps put names to faces, as opposed to boobs and bits, at some point in the future.
Until then I'll be quietly dribbling in the corner.
By the way, I've been sent two pairs of wellies in emails... Is there a dedicated watersports part to the site now? If so, I'll get my rubber ring and arm bands ready. I've had more rubber in my box of late than Katie Price.
I was happy slurping my Horlicks down my front and doing nothing more exotic than a trip to B&Q of a weekend and polishing my Volvo. Next thing I know...
As a relative new-oldie, I hope to perhaps put names to faces, as opposed to boobs and bits, at some point in the future.
Until then I'll be quietly dribbling in the corner.
By the way, I've been sent two pairs of wellies in emails... Is there a dedicated watersports part to the site now? If so, I'll get my rubber ring and arm bands ready. I've had more rubber in my box of late than Katie Price.
Sex God
What is there to say that hasn't been said already?
Such a sad loss. I never met Neil but through his posts on here I felt he was a kindred spirit in many ways.
His posts on here were always insightful, thoughtful, considerate and displayed a sense of empathy, humour, compassion and understanding that few could match. By the eulogies from those that met him on here, it is clear that he displayed these same qualities in all other aspects of his all-too-brief life.
I think Neil would probably be embarrassed at the depth of feeling he's generated on here. But I think humility is an endearing trait and although he probably never realised it - it is heartening to see how many lives he influenced for the better - even in the briefest of moments.
I hope it is some consolation to those closest to him, to know how he impacted so many people's lives so positively.
Rezzer x
Such a sad loss. I never met Neil but through his posts on here I felt he was a kindred spirit in many ways.
His posts on here were always insightful, thoughtful, considerate and displayed a sense of empathy, humour, compassion and understanding that few could match. By the eulogies from those that met him on here, it is clear that he displayed these same qualities in all other aspects of his all-too-brief life.
I think Neil would probably be embarrassed at the depth of feeling he's generated on here. But I think humility is an endearing trait and although he probably never realised it - it is heartening to see how many lives he influenced for the better - even in the briefest of moments.
I hope it is some consolation to those closest to him, to know how he impacted so many people's lives so positively.
Rezzer x
Sex God
Quote by sara2010
there was a great thread about someone (mrs bonedigger) and their build up to their first party there was some fab comments on how it helped them with nerves and also comments on how thats how most felt on going to their first party. i am sure that if you can search the threads you will come across it and if you can wade through the pages of comments you may get some helpful advice on how others feel
Yep, I read it a while back and it was a classic, well worth digging out!
Sex God
Quote by meat2pleaseu
..... and has gifted me a pathological hatred for Sarah Jessica Parker. When she advertised her perfume "Beautiful" I thought she was being ironic.
There was actually a little AngloAmerican cock up with that Res, they didn't quite get the translation from the British based marketing experts who suggested she call it Bootiful, due to her resemblence to Bernard Matthews
Is that why she is always going on about a quick gobble?... (In Brummy Accent) I'll get me coat...
Sex God
One of the things that I like about the Stones is just how many songs I actually knew by them, without ever knowing it was them singing it.
Mrs Res was into them before I was and it was only listening to her cassette (yes it was that long ago) that I realised how many of their songs I actually knew and knew well. I thought I only knew "Satisfaction" at the time and was amazed to discover that almost every song on the album I'd heard of, liked, and just not realised it was them (which sounds stupid given Jagger's voice, but I was young and foolish with the IQ of a Lemming dropping).
And have you seen the Video to "Sex Drive" It's rather naughty if I remember rightly.
Mrs Res was into them before I was and it was only listening to her cassette (yes it was that long ago) that I realised how many of their songs I actually knew and knew well. I thought I only knew "Satisfaction" at the time and was amazed to discover that almost every song on the album I'd heard of, liked, and just not realised it was them (which sounds stupid given Jagger's voice, but I was young and foolish with the IQ of a Lemming dropping).
And have you seen the Video to "Sex Drive" It's rather naughty if I remember rightly.
Sex God
Quote by
Do you really make huge (and possibly totally inaccurate) snap judgements on people of that scale based on their photographs alone?!?
I'm truly gobsmackled.
You learn something new every day don't you?
In Edit : I forgot to answer BIoke's original question, sorry!
Like : Smiles! Boobs! People who look like they are enjoying themselves. Pics that look natural.
Dislike : None really, but I can't really see the point of having pics up that are so blurry or dark that you can't see anything vaguely human.
I make huge,and possibly innacurate judgements on wether they make me laff in the forum
So Res,how you doing? :twisted:
If you are talking about me, your judgements are probably quite valid. I am an ugly, argumentative, soulless, moribund arse and have very limited sexual capabilities. I take offence easily and have no life other than wandering around the local park in my stained flasher mac, frightening the wildlife.
I can however order my socks neatly, wipe my bottom with alacrity and occasionally punctuate, can I have sex please?
And yes, this is all a front. I'm an extremely dull sociopath in real life with bodies hidden under the patio, festooned with STD's of all magnitudes and A ring of scum so deep around my underwashed neck that David Attenborough is coming up shortly to do a documentary. I just pretend to be funny so I can lure people in before eating them..As long as I am accompanied with a good Chianti.
Fava beans? Fvvvvvvvvvvvvvvrrrrr!
Sex God
Quote by Kaznkev
Do you really make huge (and possibly totally inaccurate) snap judgements on people of that scale based on their photographs alone?!?
I'm truly gobsmackled.
You learn something new every day don't you?
In Edit : I forgot to answer BIoke's original question, sorry!
Like : Smiles! Boobs! People who look like they are enjoying themselves. Pics that look natural.
Dislike : None really, but I can't really see the point of having pics up that are so blurry or dark that you can't see anything vaguely human.
I make huge,and possibly innacurate judgements on wether they make me laff in the forum
So Res,how you doing? :twisted:
If you are talking about me, your judgements are probably quite valid. I am an ugly, argumentative, soulless, moribund arse and have very limited sexual capabilities. I take offence easily and have no life other than wandering around the local park in my stained flasher mac, frightening the wildlife.
I can however order my socks neatly, wipe my bottom with alacrity and occasionally punctuate, can I have sex please?
And yes, this is all a front. I'm an extremely dull sociopath in real life with bodies hidden under the patio, festooned with STD's of all magnitudes and A ring of scum so deep around my underwashed neck that David Attenborough is coming up shortly to do a documentary. I just pretend to be funny so I can lure people in before eating them.
Sex God
Quote by foxylady2209
Do you really make huge (and possibly totally inaccurate) snap judgements on people of that scale based on their photographs alone?!?
I'm truly gobsmackled.
You learn something new every day don't you?
In Edit : I forgot to answer BIoke's original question, sorry!
Like : Smiles! Boobs! People who look like they are enjoying themselves. Pics that look natural.
Dislike : None really, but I can't really see the point of having pics up that are so blurry or dark that you can't see anything vaguely human.
Apart from the profile text (whish is generally at the same level as the pics or worse), it's all we are offered. So, YES, I do make huge judgements from the pics. I have to judge whether it is worth the effort to get to know someone and eventually to let them share some of the most intimate expereinces people can have. The picture they show is the impression they CHOOSE to make. Maybe they are looking for people who like slovenly housekeeping.
Damned right I make judgements!
You're right, I'll only shag those who can't wash or iron and leave their lunchables all over the floor. It's a fetish I have had for many years.
I think we all make judgements I agree. I just worry that some people make a snap judgement and then see that as being "the truth" when you have no idea of the context the pictures were taken in, or what that person is actually like. I don't believe pictures tell you anything about the person, other than what they look like.
How do you know, for example, the pictures have been taken at their own home?
And please don't shout at me, I am not an naughty schoolboy. I just wanted to make my point in the same way others did.
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the well crafted pics people do put together and I can see their appeal, but I wouldn't judge that person as being any better or less suited to me as someone who is as inept as I am with a camera.
For me pics are just a starting point really. Nothing more. But I am usually wrong, foolish and deluded and no doubt will be again here.
Sex God
Quote by poshkate
I'm not sure if that's aimed at me Res but as you've posted directly below me I assume it might be.
Yes, I do make snap judgements about people. Not just on peoples photos but in every day life we have to make them at times. I'm not saying that I am always right in this but I think there are very few people in this world who can put their hand on heart and say the never make decisions on things without knowing all the facts.
Where it comes to photos on a site like this, they are often the first impression you give to someone. Therefore I would expect people to take a bit of time to think about what pictures they want to show and how these will be received. My assumption (although I might be wrong) is that if people have a bed covered in weeks worth of washing and about the same amount of dirty dishes/takeaway wrappers, then they probably live like that every day and it doesn't bother them. Fine for it not bothering them but personally I like nice clean houses so on that basis if I see a picture like that then I skip over it.
Hiya Posh
It wasn't just your comments here (though I can see why you'd think so), it was the general idea that you can make judgements on people based on photo's alone.
Of course, we all make a judgement based on first impressions, but that is, for me, all they are, first impressions. I have no idea of the context the pics were taken in.
Our pics are always taken in the heat of passion. I'm sure many others are. They are never posed. I can never think of what will look good. I am not a photographer and I have no idea of what makes a good pic because I am thick and too busy enjoying myself. So our pics tend to be what we like and what I can get in the 5-10 mins each year we get to take some!
I think it takes a great deal of bravery for some folks to post pics on here (I know we agonised over it a great deal) and I think sometimes to make judgements on their level of personal hygiene, housekeeping skills etc based on one pic, without getting to know them and without being able to put that picture into context, is a tad unfair in my view.
But as always, it's a matter of opinion and I quite happily concede that yours is as valid as mine and I can understand where you are coming from. I have seen some outstanding pics on here taken by amateurs that I am really envious of but I am not sure that qualifies them as being ideal swing-mates over someone else who hasn't got that same level of ability with a camera, or whose pictures are not the most well thought out and contain sundry items others view as undesirable. That's why I use pics as a starting point only really. I see it as one pic being better than the other, not one person being better than another.
Sex God
The Energy company ones are getting increasingly annoying. They start off first by assuring you they aren't selling anything, then they explain they are "just checking to see you got your £100 saving on your gas & electric". You say "yes" and the ask who you are with and then the hard sell starts.
You tell them you sort it online, you get "This offer isn't available online".
You insist you don't want to join up and they leave with a shrug and the exact words I had "So, you don't want to save £100 on your gas & electric then?" then with added sarcasm "Well good luck finding it cheaper then." before he turned on his heel and went.
I just politely pointed out if he wished to knock on my door to sell me stuff, I'll politely decline. The minute he gets sarcastic, I'll sh*t on his head.
I will refrain of course from saying which company it was. But it was a very large British Gas company.
You tell them you sort it online, you get "This offer isn't available online".
You insist you don't want to join up and they leave with a shrug and the exact words I had "So, you don't want to save £100 on your gas & electric then?" then with added sarcasm "Well good luck finding it cheaper then." before he turned on his heel and went.
I just politely pointed out if he wished to knock on my door to sell me stuff, I'll politely decline. The minute he gets sarcastic, I'll sh*t on his head.
I will refrain of course from saying which company it was. But it was a very large British Gas company.
Sex God
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Sh*t.
Saw the thread "Knockers" and that DG had posted.
Imagine my disappointment when I got inside and found out what it was really about...
why don't you start a thread called 'knee warmers' and invite her to post?
LMAO!
I would, but she'll just ask me to flop out my gigantic sporran while I'm sat down...
Sex God
Do you really make huge (and possibly totally inaccurate) snap judgements on people of that scale based on their photographs alone?!?
I'm truly gobsmackled.
You learn something new every day don't you?
In Edit : I forgot to answer BIoke's original question, sorry!
Like : Smiles! Boobs! People who look like they are enjoying themselves. Pics that look natural.
Dislike : None really, but I can't really see the point of having pics up that are so blurry or dark that you can't see anything vaguely human.
I'm truly gobsmackled.
You learn something new every day don't you?
In Edit : I forgot to answer BIoke's original question, sorry!
Like : Smiles! Boobs! People who look like they are enjoying themselves. Pics that look natural.
Dislike : None really, but I can't really see the point of having pics up that are so blurry or dark that you can't see anything vaguely human.
Sex God
SATC. Dreadful. No honestly, for the 10 minutes I watched it was mind numbing tedium and has gifted me a pathological hatred for Sarah Jessica Parker. When she advertised her perfume "Beautiful" I thought she was being ironic.
Best funny sex bit... I did like the bit in Men Behaving Badly when Gary's chatting up a girl on his couch, first Chas N Dave's "Rabbit" comes on the stereo instead of smoochy tunes and then his chat up line of "Your lips are like... Liver" was quite beautifully painful.
Best funny sex bit... I did like the bit in Men Behaving Badly when Gary's chatting up a girl on his couch, first Chas N Dave's "Rabbit" comes on the stereo instead of smoochy tunes and then his chat up line of "Your lips are like... Liver" was quite beautifully painful.
Sex God
Quote by Naughty Wigan Couple
I just have to 'big up' Nola, cause not only is she a star, bloody brilliant and very clever, but she is also my inspiration
Go girl :rose:
Oy! Wait yer bloomin' turn! ;-)
I'm already trying to big up her and it's not going well. I've got a pair of bellows up my arse and a cork in the hole to try and help matters and it isn't working. All that's happening is my testes have expanded significantly and now float ominously in the bath.
Perhaps if I budge over we could both try together? I'm sure she'd quite like that, she's a game old girl.
Sex God
Quote by TheLovelyOne
Rage Wilkinson and the dilated Cervix
Benny Papsworth and his amazing disembowelled elephant.
I'm sorry. I just feel left out because the only one I've heard of on this thread are the Manic Street Preachers and I've just realised I am very uncool and not down with the kids anymore.
Absolutely. Well - I can do Procul Harum too. In fact I remember asking our Latin teacher what it meant and it's nonsense.
Come and sit quivering in the corner with me Res. :rascal:
Yeah! I'll bring the Barry Manilow t-shirts, you get the Elton John specs...
I've heard of Procul Harem too. Their songs made less sense than their group name.
Sex God
Rage Wilkinson and the dilated Cervix
Benny Papsworth and his amazing disembowelled elephant.
I'm sorry. I just feel left out because the only one I've heard of on this thread are the Manic Street Preachers and I've just realised I am very uncool and not down with the kids anymore.
Benny Papsworth and his amazing disembowelled elephant.
I'm sorry. I just feel left out because the only one I've heard of on this thread are the Manic Street Preachers and I've just realised I am very uncool and not down with the kids anymore.
