I've got a problem, the new sites been up a couple of hours now and I've still not had sex with anybody yet.
I use Firefox and a Windows 7 machine.
Do I need a bigger Hard Disk? Or am I over reliant on my floppy?
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Resonance
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 54
Bisexual Female, 55
0 miles · Merseyside
Forum
I'm going to measure my cock in terms of quantum mechanics from now on, therefore it is infinite length and can be in several places at the same time.
Obviously people who tell whopping porkers which are easy to detect within moments of meeting them, obviously feel the need to distort the truth for a reason. This reason is that they believe anyone who meets them will be as desperate for sex as they are, and overlook their obvious physical discrepancies just to have a quick shag.
I do get a bit confused in the "He said 8 inches and it was more like 6!" indignation. If you meet someone, have a brilliant night, wonderful foreplay, shags you senseless, have 30 orgasms it is rendered as wasted because he had an inch or two less on his todger than you ideally prefer?
How can you measure the success of a meet by the excess of his meat? I don't get that.
I think many men (and ladies with their boobles) probably exaggerate the truth as regards their dimensions. I think that is probably because there's a fair few profiles where it seems to be the be all and end all of any possibility of having a meat, sorry a meet.
So yep, people fib and people lie in many different ways. That's why if you take profiles at face value you may have problems. Unlike mine which is of course filled with 100% truth. If you want to fuck a 9 inch cock for certain, get a vibrator. It's probably cheaper and they won't drink all your milk and break an expensive ornament later.
I wonder if a profile states "9 inches" or "44FF", do people actually go with a tape measure to verify the fact? Or is that just me?
Obviously people who tell whopping porkers which are easy to detect within moments of meeting them, obviously feel the need to distort the truth for a reason. This reason is that they believe anyone who meets them will be as desperate for sex as they are, and overlook their obvious physical discrepancies just to have a quick shag.
I do get a bit confused in the "He said 8 inches and it was more like 6!" indignation. If you meet someone, have a brilliant night, wonderful foreplay, shags you senseless, have 30 orgasms it is rendered as wasted because he had an inch or two less on his todger than you ideally prefer?
How can you measure the success of a meet by the excess of his meat? I don't get that.
I think many men (and ladies with their boobles) probably exaggerate the truth as regards their dimensions. I think that is probably because there's a fair few profiles where it seems to be the be all and end all of any possibility of having a meat, sorry a meet.
So yep, people fib and people lie in many different ways. That's why if you take profiles at face value you may have problems. Unlike mine which is of course filled with 100% truth. If you want to fuck a 9 inch cock for certain, get a vibrator. It's probably cheaper and they won't drink all your milk and break an expensive ornament later.
I wonder if a profile states "9 inches" or "44FF", do people actually go with a tape measure to verify the fact? Or is that just me?
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
In 1969, Apollo 12 astronauts Pete Conrad and Alan Bean become the third and fourth humans to walk on the Moon, on November the 19th.
On the same day football player Pelé scored his 1,000th goal.
On this day in 1990, pop group Milli Vanilli were stripped of their Grammy Award because the duo did not sing at all on the Girl You Know It’s True album. Session musicians had provided all the vocals. Where was that fib thread again?
In 1994, the first National Lottery draw was held.
Since 1991, November 19th has been International Toilet Day :shock:
According to T. Mann, it is also St. Edmunds Day.
St Edmunds? Do we all have to wear a naff beard, go around opening boxes and playing weak practical jokes on people?
Quote by BIoke
Ah, but does that mean you can switch it on and off?
And if it does, where's the button?...
About 8" up your arse Res and I'm coming to find it :twisted:
WARNING: 'Posters on the Forum may be closer than they appear' :rascal:
I wondered whose head that was I saw bobbing up and down in the Tesco carpark... ;-)
Ample as my posterior is, I don't think I could accommodate 8 inches. Not with the asylum seeking family I'm sheltering up there...
Quote by Bear69
How about the ones who are only orally bi..or only take as opposed to give.........or only hand bi...........how bi are you before your bi...im curious? does this mean im bi
I find 'situationally bi' is a good phrase
:lol:
:thumbup: thats so true
Ah, but does that mean you can switch it on and off?
And if it does, where's the button?
Is it something to do with the nipples? They must have some bloody use...
Oh yes, but the problem is that I don't ever see it happening. Subtlety is not my friend in these situations. Don't give me the nod and wink, flap your norks out on cam and send me your address and I may get the hint... ;-)
Do you like to play "teen" games such as spin the bottle or postmans knock?
Do you like to play "teen" games such as spin the bottle or postmans knock?
Quote by sexoholics
On the other side of the coin I can see if a straight male is uncomfortable with being in the same bed as a bi male then that is a freedom of choice.
Thats the problem though, some people wont respect other peoples freedom of choice, for example if someone posted a thread on the forum saying they were uncomfortable trying something, we're sure most if not all the answers would be, well if your not comfortable with that dont try it.
However if in your example, a straight man freely admits that he's not comfortable being naked or playing around a bisexual man, it always seems to get questioned, and in extreme cases he'll get labeled a homophobic biggot :shock:
True, but I don't understand how you can trust someone to happily fuck your wife, but not that they won't fuck you.
Oh dear oh dear...
Getting back to the original point.
I think I may be able to explain why couples don't put bi-male even if he is and it has been hinted upon by several others already. This is not intended to offend, but if you do take , please do get a life. The world doesn't revolve around you and your opinions.
I think there is a perception, be it rightly or wrongly, that a bisexual male is somehow not as appealling to the majority of couples as a straight male. Why that is, I have not a clue. It bears no rigorous examination of the facts and says more about peoples own narrow minded view of sexuality and their misapprehensions of others, than it does about the bisexual chap in question.
However I believe the general line of thinking to be thus; A male/female couple states they are bi-male or bi-female. With them being a couple, and it generally being understood that swingers wish to expand their sexual horizons, you look at the reasons they wish to swing. Therefore a bi-male can sate his 'female' desires with his partner. His male yearnings however, presumably, remain unsated within their relationship. This may therefore make couples wonder if they wish to do that with them, given it is overtly stated that this is his interest sexually. It is entirely unfounded and presumptuous to think that of course, but I think it is more common than people would let on and perhaps people, who may feverishly state that they are genuinely not bisexual are afraid of another man seeing him and just being so overwhelmed by his manly gorgeousness that he cannot help but bend him over and wazzock him up the chuff without so much as a "hello ducky!"
Whether this says more about them and their insecurities than the other couple, is of course a matter for conjecture (although not much, the idea is frankly laughable and if you genuinely believe then you need help). Or indeed whether it says more about the 'tolerant and understanding' nature of swingers as a whole is another matter.
I'm not bi. I don't know why. I like sex in all its forms and I like seeing Mrs R with another man, but I have no desire to join in with him in a sexual way in any circumstances. Does this make me a bi-voyeur? Not really, because my pleasure comes from seeing the pleasure Mrs R gives and receives and as callous as it sounds, the joy of the chap is a secondary or even tertiary concern to me.
However I am not bi-phobic. If another mans cock was to touch me, I wouldn't scream and leap away as if scalded, or grab the wine cork and hammer it home with a mallet. I certainly do not think I would act upon it in any way, but as I've never been in that situation, I can not say for certain.
I must admit, I am yearning for the return of gay or bi men in here. It would make a refreshing change from the overblown scent of self-righteous, pompous, indignantly sarcastic, testosterone (wrapped up in the form of utterly juvenile and puerile machismo), that has littered the place on occasion of late. In my humble view.
That, to me leaves a far more bitter taste in my mouth than any bisexual man could muster (and yes, feel free to enjoy the double-entendre).
Getting back to the original point.
I think I may be able to explain why couples don't put bi-male even if he is and it has been hinted upon by several others already. This is not intended to offend, but if you do take , please do get a life. The world doesn't revolve around you and your opinions.
I think there is a perception, be it rightly or wrongly, that a bisexual male is somehow not as appealling to the majority of couples as a straight male. Why that is, I have not a clue. It bears no rigorous examination of the facts and says more about peoples own narrow minded view of sexuality and their misapprehensions of others, than it does about the bisexual chap in question.
However I believe the general line of thinking to be thus; A male/female couple states they are bi-male or bi-female. With them being a couple, and it generally being understood that swingers wish to expand their sexual horizons, you look at the reasons they wish to swing. Therefore a bi-male can sate his 'female' desires with his partner. His male yearnings however, presumably, remain unsated within their relationship. This may therefore make couples wonder if they wish to do that with them, given it is overtly stated that this is his interest sexually. It is entirely unfounded and presumptuous to think that of course, but I think it is more common than people would let on and perhaps people, who may feverishly state that they are genuinely not bisexual are afraid of another man seeing him and just being so overwhelmed by his manly gorgeousness that he cannot help but bend him over and wazzock him up the chuff without so much as a "hello ducky!"
Whether this says more about them and their insecurities than the other couple, is of course a matter for conjecture (although not much, the idea is frankly laughable and if you genuinely believe then you need help). Or indeed whether it says more about the 'tolerant and understanding' nature of swingers as a whole is another matter.
I'm not bi. I don't know why. I like sex in all its forms and I like seeing Mrs R with another man, but I have no desire to join in with him in a sexual way in any circumstances. Does this make me a bi-voyeur? Not really, because my pleasure comes from seeing the pleasure Mrs R gives and receives and as callous as it sounds, the joy of the chap is a secondary or even tertiary concern to me.
However I am not bi-phobic. If another mans cock was to touch me, I wouldn't scream and leap away as if scalded, or grab the wine cork and hammer it home with a mallet. I certainly do not think I would act upon it in any way, but as I've never been in that situation, I can not say for certain.
I must admit, I am yearning for the return of gay or bi men in here. It would make a refreshing change from the overblown scent of self-righteous, pompous, indignantly sarcastic, testosterone (wrapped up in the form of utterly juvenile and puerile machismo), that has littered the place on occasion of late. In my humble view.
That, to me leaves a far more bitter taste in my mouth than any bisexual man could muster (and yes, feel free to enjoy the double-entendre).
Quote by Witchy
I'd be more likely to believe if I heard tales of "women in jeans & t-shirts" or "a bloke in a shell suit."
Why are ghosts always dressed in an extraordinary, evocative manner?
Yes and why waste eternity by making noises, moaning, dropping plates or making chairs rock about a bit? To me that is little different to being struck down with dementia. Why not let us know something a bit more useful? Next weeks lottery numbers? (Even Derren Brown managed that) Or something useful such as the way to heaven, or hell for those of us who think it'd be more interesting?
Why do aliens all seem desperate to abduct us and tell us their plans for a superrace of alien-human hybrids, or that we have to be careful not to screw up the planet or else and not give us the details on a quick answer for Fermat's Last Theorem? Or how faster than light travel is possible to make travel in space possible? Or even why Vulcans have pointy ears?
It's almost as if these super-enlightened beings can't tell us any more than what we already know, which is preposterous of course. Next you'll be telling me Jesus was an ordinary bloke... ;-)
Quote by Witchy
Resonance wrote:
It is amusing to think that we are avowed believers in that monogamy is right and yet the vast majority of the rest of the animal world, doesn't practice it. Some do, and when they do, David Attenborough usually tells us in soft gentle towns, with the accompaniment of gentle strings and harps, about how these animals mate for life... and we sigh and think how sweet. When in actual fact, they and we are the freaks of nature.
Where are these soft gentle towns? I'd like to go to one of them, it would suit my ladylike demeanour. :rose:
Ooh! I mood a spelung mistook! It's when Mr Attenborough goes on the roadshow in his big green landrover, powered by Hippo spit and Elephant Dung, and goes to towns where the most violent action is when someone blows off in the pub or the local WI have a master bake off.
Somewhere like... I dunno... Sodding Chipbury or Twartling Snackford.
I have to say, self-proclaimed wine buffs like that fearsome twonk Jilly Goolden, really get on my saggy breasts. Getting all orgasmic because they can smell the "wispy notes of Oak and Clematis" in a drink. Fecking Grow up. You like it or you do not. Please don't pretend you are doing us a favour by describing the ingredients. That's the equivalent of me standing outside Cadbury's, eating a £5 Mars Bar and crowing over the wonderful caramel, scentiness, the powerful twinge of the sugar and the artery clogging wonderment of the fat content.
I can't tell the difference between a Average bottle of Netto Plonk, a £9m a glass Chateau Lafitte de Grange Sou-le-matin avec sange merde dans l'arbre and fecking anti-freeze from Halfords.
However if I have to choose a wine, I like a red one that tastes a bit of blackcurrant, or a white zinfandel because it's pink (Why the name then?) and it makes me look a bit effeminate when everyone else has a pint, including my missis.
I don't get the point of dry white wine, why have a drink that makes you thirsty? It's like eating a dinner that makes you hungry.
My favourite tipple, Ribena. The proper full strength, decays your teeth to rotting husks overnight, unapologetic, sugar-filled original. That and Kia-Ora orange, and I liked the advert for that too.
I can't tell the difference between a Average bottle of Netto Plonk, a £9m a glass Chateau Lafitte de Grange Sou-le-matin avec sange merde dans l'arbre and fecking anti-freeze from Halfords.
However if I have to choose a wine, I like a red one that tastes a bit of blackcurrant, or a white zinfandel because it's pink (Why the name then?) and it makes me look a bit effeminate when everyone else has a pint, including my missis.
I don't get the point of dry white wine, why have a drink that makes you thirsty? It's like eating a dinner that makes you hungry.
My favourite tipple, Ribena. The proper full strength, decays your teeth to rotting husks overnight, unapologetic, sugar-filled original. That and Kia-Ora orange, and I liked the advert for that too.
That's very true! I could read you some of my erotic poetry Fluff, you'd love it... You'd be gasping and moist in your seat...
"Take mine hand and feel my loin,
It's not that big for a chap's groin,
Ergo, my stiffy, thrust unto ye!
"I'm feeling fecking horny! Won't ya just do me!"
Alas, my life is woe'd with morose
For Fluff is so far, and yet not so close.
See? It's a shoe in for the literary prize for shit erotic poetry.
"Take mine hand and feel my loin,
It's not that big for a chap's groin,
Ergo, my stiffy, thrust unto ye!
"I'm feeling fecking horny! Won't ya just do me!"
Alas, my life is woe'd with morose
For Fluff is so far, and yet not so close.
See? It's a shoe in for the literary prize for shit erotic poetry.
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
Has history stopped or has fluff lost her diary?
I seemed to be the only one posting so retired gracefully
Aha! So it isn't just me that feels this then!!!
I get the impression sometimes I talk to myself Fluff... but fret ye not, I was reading it but I didn't think my rather stupid contribution was particularly relevant!
Quote by Kaznkev
sometimes,tho getting to know where u like it is part of the fun
and that wasnt a do you like!
do you like cumming on faces?
Doh! That's correct! I got it wrong again... my rank and fetid mind is deserting me.
Yes, Lots and lots.
Do you like a potential playmate to dress up as Sharpay from High School Musical before regaling you with "Fabulous" umpteen times, before whipping off their costume to the tune of the theme from "The Good Life?"
