Dear me, I seem to have upset the applecart somewhat this evening by my inelegance in expressing exactly what I meant.
The term "deceit" seems to have raised a few hackles, when I really didn't intend it to.
In my post earlier I was, in my mind at least, referring to people who "pretend" to be a couple to gain entry to a club on a couples only night and who then upon entry, revert to being single for the evening for reasons of finance and sexual gratification (because the 'odds' are better)
As I have no direct experience of this, I can only go on what my reaction would be if we were in this situation and to be honest, I would feel a little aggrieved that on a night supposedly for couples, there were X number of single people who made no bones about hiding the fact and who had no intention of playing as a couple. It would make the entire point of a "couples" night redundant in my view and I maintain in this situation, they have obtained entry by less than honest means and are going against the entire raison d'etre for the evening.
I understand why single men and women would do this, presumably it would mean less male competition thus more chance of sex, but for couples who want to play with other couples alone, is it fair? I don't think it is. Not when the night is advertised as such and I think that people who knowingly abuse it in the way I stated above, are being less than honest. I would question just why they feel the need to do this.
I think also I need to define how I see 'a couple'. When I said that, I did not mean solely in a traditional sense, as in man and wife, or even as a couple living together. I did mean couples in their many and varied forms, such as in fuckbuddies, or indeed any combination of people who play together. But I think in this situation playing together, however you choose to do it, has to be a primary consideration. Perhaps more so than their marital status. I apologise if I gave the wrong impression on this aspect as I think I must have done judging by some of the responses.
I fully contend that I was operating from an entirely hypothetical and personal situation. The reality of clubs may well be different. I don't know and I never will and judging by the reaction and my own innate fear of them, I am not likely to find out either. However this does not make me a hypocrite either. Stupid, misguided, inaccurate, foolish, naive and boring, indubitably so. Choose your weapon to beat me with, there's plenty to pick from.
As Hugh Grant once said... I think it is best I go where other people are not.
I fully contend there are excellent reasons for attending a club with a partner and many of them have been elegantly expressed above. Safety being an obvious one. However I am wary that using this or another convenient truism to gain entry on a couples night, when you have no intention of playing as a couple, is somewhat misleading at best. I also find it very odd that the most vociferous defenders of single swingers, seem so keen to defend their right to attend 'couples only' nights and then blame "the couples" for taking offence.
The one thing I have learned in my relatively short time here is that the more I learn about this whole thing we call swinging, the less I understand.
If I have offended anybody earlier, I do apologise, that was not my intention, but I cannot follow the logic of this, and only this, argument.
Would you feel cheated if a night was advertised as a "Sexy Black Stripper Night" and turned up to find just 2 black guys (both gay) and 30 middle aged, paunchy, white men? Or is this the norm? Or is it just a case of clubs that they advertise and just accept anybody who turns up on that night and is willing to pay, because if it is the latter, that would concern me a great deal. Or how about a singles night, and a large percentage who turned up were married folks just on the lookout for some extra-marital nookie? Of course I'm being devils advocate here and using extremes, but I think the principle is similar.
My argument is not with single swingers, couple swingers or menage et trois or quadrophonics or whatever... it is with the fact that the truth of a person(s) situation is being distorted for personal gain and puts you in a position where you can exploit the situation and mislead other people. That makes me feel uncomfortable I'm afraid. Not that I think the majority of people WOULD do that, but I think if some people are prepared to bend the truth to get into the club, they may have less hesitation in doing it again to secure themselves a shag and that worries me. I stress again, I am not saying anybody here WOULD do this, but I fear some people may not be so quick to reveal the whole truth, if they feel it would jeopardise their chance of a shag, even if they have got in for half price.
But what do I know? I am a tired old cynic these days. We don't go to clubs, we don't swing in the traditional sense and it is all hypothetical for me. I may well be wrong and if I am, I am sure I will be put in my rightful place but I do stress that I did not mean to cause anyone any offence and that I only took issue with what I believe to be a blatant distortion of the facts, in order to take advantage of an opportunity. It's that premise, and that alone, that I have an issue with.
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