What are Gilfs?
Groaning, incontinent, lice-festooned swingers? Yum. There's a catch. I'd hope their profile was a lie...
I assume it's the same apart from the G... Girls? Grannies? Gerbils? Geriatrics? It could even be Germans!
Q.E.D, it's why I never use acronyms.
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Resonance
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 54
Bisexual Female, 55
0 miles · Merseyside
Forum
Quote by noladreams
Never has problems with his floppy.
Cowbag!
In my defence, you did bring a brass band, three tubes of Germolene, a whip, a box of babybel cheese and a CD version of Hermans Hermits hits which I think is enough to make anyone limper than a politicians handshake...
The person above is most definitely erudite, witty, entertaining, charming with a fantastic pair of funbags.
And she supports Everton.
HA!
:twisted:
Quote by noladreams
Erm...
I've got a problem in as much that I don't think I exist.
I am the anti-Descartes.
I think, therefore I am not.
However if I can invent a god (why not, many people have), can I be god of looking at and fondling breasts? I realise it is a niche market and there won't be too many hymns and psalms about me, but I'm quite happy to accept that in exchange for eternity surrounded by heavenly cleavage. I imagine it must be like being Hugh Hefner, without the dogs shitting all over the house.
Oh. There are times when you render me speechless.Me and my boobies shall bow down (that way you can cop an ogle) before you Oh Res-like one.
Yay! No more hiding in the Turnips at Tesco for me from now on in the hope Nola will come along and pick the oddly shaped and disappointingly small one!
Quote by splendid_
worlass and I. (how grown up does that sound?) have a few rules and one of them is 'no workmates' We have been proven right sooooo many times we should be psychic.
Missing the 'ot' after the 'h' my dear...
Run for your lives...
Missing a 't' pig ?
I'm not a pig. I'm a twat or an arse.
I'm off to weep into my lavender hanky.
As for workmates, no way. But that's because I have direct experience of what a nightmare that can be... working all alone. He's a right tosser.
Quote by travlinmanukok
I rather like it meself.
Yes there will be a few problems, but am sure it will get sorted.
I like the new format it just takes a little getting used to
i am just going to install windows 7 so that will take a bit of getting to know allso :lol:
like all new changes some will like some wont .....guess its like swinging then ?
trav..
Be careful Trav, I did that and upgraded to Windows 7 from Vista and when I now try to post in here, if my typing goes beyond the size of the text box and has to scroll down, the cursor in the box keeps jumping to the top of the page and is a nightmare to try and edit the writing or type accurately.
Other than that, it's great though.
Erm...
I've got a problem in as much that I don't think I exist.
I am the anti-Descartes.
I think, therefore I am not.
However if I can invent a god (why not, many people have), can I be god of looking at and fondling breasts? I realise it is a niche market and there won't be too many hymns and psalms about me, but I'm quite happy to accept that in exchange for eternity surrounded by heavenly cleavage. I imagine it must be like being Hugh Hefner, without the dogs shitting all over the house.
I've got a problem in as much that I don't think I exist.
I am the anti-Descartes.
I think, therefore I am not.
However if I can invent a god (why not, many people have), can I be god of looking at and fondling breasts? I realise it is a niche market and there won't be too many hymns and psalms about me, but I'm quite happy to accept that in exchange for eternity surrounded by heavenly cleavage. I imagine it must be like being Hugh Hefner, without the dogs shitting all over the house.
Quote by Kaznkev
I logged on and had 3 messages in my inbox:smug:
couldnt get my inbox to open :sad:
Damn, you mean you haven't got my lengthy pleading missive asking for your private pics to be opened up to me?
Damn this shyness...
I had a message in my inbox before too, which is a rarity these days, and it was a very lovely one too. It made me feel all warm and gooey inside, like a warm Millies Cookie with extra choc chips.
I can help undoing your box. You just have to know which buttons to press.
Ok, now I am very frightened.
Getting back on track... I too don't get poo. (Sung to the tune of the Rocksteady Crew)
One of the things I don't get about Sub Dom and other stuff is people who engage in the 'role' 24/7 and it becomes their life... I can't get that. I know people like to indulge, but it seems excessive to run your life by those rules. In sexy situations, fair enough, but I can't imagine waking up turning over to the wife and ordering her to do things. If I tried that in normality she'd kick my arse.
Don't get me wrong. I am 'on' the vast majority of the time. I can spot a jiggling bra-free breast at 200 metres, in the fog, with a gasmask on. But I can't play a role 24/7. I need the normality to balance things out...
But I am weird, so I am probably in the minority.
Getting back on track... I too don't get poo. (Sung to the tune of the Rocksteady Crew)
One of the things I don't get about Sub Dom and other stuff is people who engage in the 'role' 24/7 and it becomes their life... I can't get that. I know people like to indulge, but it seems excessive to run your life by those rules. In sexy situations, fair enough, but I can't imagine waking up turning over to the wife and ordering her to do things. If I tried that in normality she'd kick my arse.
Don't get me wrong. I am 'on' the vast majority of the time. I can spot a jiggling bra-free breast at 200 metres, in the fog, with a gasmask on. But I can't play a role 24/7. I need the normality to balance things out...
But I am weird, so I am probably in the minority.
Quote by Sarah
Do I need a bigger Hard Disk? Or am I over reliant on my floppy?
Why what is wrong with your floppy?
Where to start? It makes a dreadful noise at times, malfunctions at the most inopportune of moments and when I press the little buttons right, something pops out and makes an unholy mess all over the desk.
I had real trouble getting my hard disk into the right slot. It took a while I can tell you and after using the right kind of screw, I just about managed it. I wasn't sure if I could use the backside opening, but my wife went mental and gave me a black eye. So I took the top off and found it much easier that way.
I won't even ask how to get my joystick working. I've been waggling it feverishly all day long and still nothing...
Quote by fluff_n_stuff
Bugger a grumpy hippo.
As long as it's a female hippo why not?
lol!
Have you smelt their breath?
Besides they are violent beasts. They kill more humans each year than Lions, Elephants, Sharks and Gerbils.
I know what you did with the gerbil and I've told the RSPCA! :shock:
You were very lucky he didn't give you a nasty nip!
In edit: What is it with you and small furry animals, Res (see the 'Love is....' thread)? Aren't there enough lovely ladies on this site for you?
Awww Fluffster... I don't have any gripe against Small Furry Animals. I quite like them as a band, or a sandwich.
There are many damn fine ladies on here, but sadly for me they have such qualities as good taste, excellent vision and a keen sense of smell, which kind of rules me out of the running, even with a bag! ;-)
As does the fact that Geography and circumstances permit me only to long from afar. (Ready?.... Ahhhhhhhhhhhh) :violin:
The key for me is getting Mrs R on here and chatting, however to do that I have to encourage her to overcome her ridiculous 'net shyness and secondly, figure out a way she won't come on here and tell you all that I am in actual fact a grumpy, dim-as-a-two-watt-bulb, fat, baldy nitwit, with the sartorial skills of a diaorrhitic sloth in a blender.
So kind of getting back to the original post, I wouldn't lead folk along if I knew that there was little chance of meeting them... Which is why I turn to the joys of Chinchillas.
Quote by Lassy09
Forgive me father for i have sinned....
I lovingly made hubbys sandwiches for work last night but...He made a silly comment to me as i was doing them so....i cut them out with a gingerbread stamp and now hes going to look a fool when he gets them out infront of all his friends lol
That is the work of an evil genius... lol!
Forgive me SH for I have sinned. I'm enjoying myself today. I don't know how it happened and I promise I won't do it again. I've also spent the day looking at pics on here and sighing a lot and feeling pangs from down below. Do you think it is breast induced indigestion, or am I just a filth-mongerer?
<<Warms hands by radiator>>
Now do you want the left one tuning first or the right one? If I'm good I may be able to pick up BBC Radio 5.
And you think this is mad? You've not read my profile then obviously.
As for the OP... I can understand it to an extent if you have a close circle of friends in any one room, however I am kind of the opposite. I feel much more comfortable with people that I know and I know Mrs R feels the same. Whether that's in the flesh or in a virtual room. I find anonymity a bit disconcerting.
Now do you want the left one tuning first or the right one? If I'm good I may be able to pick up BBC Radio 5.
And you think this is mad? You've not read my profile then obviously.
As for the OP... I can understand it to an extent if you have a close circle of friends in any one room, however I am kind of the opposite. I feel much more comfortable with people that I know and I know Mrs R feels the same. Whether that's in the flesh or in a virtual room. I find anonymity a bit disconcerting.
That's not the first time someone has suggested a bag over the face for me! lmao!
Do I know you? You see I'm worried if I do know you, and I wear my bag (I'll draw a smiley face to make you go weak at the knees), then you may not know me, which renders the bag unnecessary, however if you do know me then the bag may well be necessary, but I could then pretend that I don't know you which, if you are bonkers, you may well believe and then think you don't know me. As such we could both know and not know each other and still, I think, resolve the breast fondling situation.
Or, you can keep your eyes closed through it all and pretend you know me, even if you don't. Or pretend you don't know me, even if you do.
Problem solved!
Do I know you? You see I'm worried if I do know you, and I wear my bag (I'll draw a smiley face to make you go weak at the knees), then you may not know me, which renders the bag unnecessary, however if you do know me then the bag may well be necessary, but I could then pretend that I don't know you which, if you are bonkers, you may well believe and then think you don't know me. As such we could both know and not know each other and still, I think, resolve the breast fondling situation.
Or, you can keep your eyes closed through it all and pretend you know me, even if you don't. Or pretend you don't know me, even if you do.
Problem solved!
