Hello TMH and welcome to SH!
The best advice is to get to know us all here by posting in the cafe - and we can get to know you. Whilst your first reason for registering may be to find sex with couples, it won't necessarily be your immediate reward - but fun, friendship, laughter and debate will be. Don't apologise for being a single bloke! Be fun, respectful and friendly and you'll receive the same, and hopefully what you're ultimately searching for.
Have fun in the forum!
Sappho xxx
Sex can be said to be the catalyst of history and the shenanigans of the deities of Ancient Greece, and the mere mortals they played with, were no exception. They were the original swingers!
This post stems from a recent conversation between the Bard and I - we don't just talk about whose turn it is to do the ironing you know! So, if you were to liken yourself to a character from Ionian mythology, who would you be? Here's a short list to get you thinking (the Roman equivalent where there is one is in brackets; I know, I know, pedantic or what?).
Adonis - the Brad Pitt lookalike and young single male, beloved of Aphrodite and Persephone.
Aeolus - God of the winds and eternal muncher - he feasted continually on his island.
Aesculapius - The god of medicine and healing. Socrates said on his deathbed that he 'owed a cock to Aesculapius'.
Aphrodite (Venus) - Goddess of sexual love, but also of affection; a BBW who loved to share.
Apollo (Phoebus) - God of poetry and music - he had affairs with Coronis, Daphne and Cassandra.
Ares (Mars) - God of war who had an illicit affair with Aphrodite who was married to Hephaestus at the time. (Don't tell Archangel, he won't approve.)
Argus - the many eyed monster. Good for gangbangs and bukkake parties.
Artemis (Diana) - The virgin huntress; perhaps a contradiction in terms on SH, though as a predatory woman she'd have fun among the single males!
Cassandra - a prophetess doomed by Apollo never to be believed, she ended up as Agammenon's slave. (Agammenon could be very dom at times.)
Centaur - Half man, half horse, they were known for their lust and drinking.
Cyclops - the original one-eyed monster!
Demeter (Ceres) - The godess of fruitfulness (wink, wink, say no more squire!).
Dionysus (Bacchus) - A fertility god, particularly of wine, a freer of emotions and remover of inhibitions.
Eos (Aurora). Goddess of the dawn, she had many lovers - including Orion the giant. (Giant what?)
The Erymanthian Boar - no not Gman (sorry), but this one did have to be bound with chains.
The Eumenides - otherwise known as the Furies, three ladies with attitude. Imagine them at a greedy girls' night.
Europa - Was given the first articial sex aid, the bronze man Talus, and then was taken by Zeus disguised as a bull. Yep, Europa got it on with a bull.
Hebe (Juventas) - the first YSL (young single female)
Hera (Juno) - Protectress of the home - and the jealous wife of philandering Zeus.
Hercules (Heracles) - The son of Zeus and ancient history's strong man, though Hera couldn't stand him.
Hermes (Mercury) - A precocious young man with light-fingered tendencies and the messenger of the gods.
Pan (Faunus) - Half man, half goat, he was the god of flocks and the rural scene. In modern day parlance, perhaps the god of dogging in rural laybys? What the flock?
Poseidon (Neptune) - God of earthquakes and the sea. Did the earth move for you? Also the god of horses and probably hung like a stallion too.
Zeus (Jupiter) - the supreme deity and the daddy of them all; promiscuous and fond of adopting various disguises to get his end away - see Europa for details!
This could be an interesting party theme too!
Sappho xxx
Mmmm... Lemon Meringue every time... the sweetness of the meringue complemented by the smooth tartness of the lemon; oh how i wish I had some right now! Tantalising thought!
Sappho xxx
What - has nobody quoted the Medical Love Song?
Inflammation of the foreskin reminds me of your smile
I've had ballanital chancroids for quite a little while
I gave my heart to NSU that lovely night in June
I ache for you my darling, and I hope you get well soon
My clapped-out genitalia is not so bad for me
As the complete and utter failure every time I try to pee
My doctor says my buboes are the worst he's ever seen
My scrotum's painted orange and my balls are turning green
My heart is very tender though the parts are awful raw
You might have been infected but you never were a bore
I'm dying of your love, my love, I'm your spirochaetal clown
I've left my body to science but I'm afraid they've turned it down
My penile warts your herpes, my syphilitic sores
Your moenelial infection, how I miss you more and more
Your knobs itch my scrumpox, our lovely gonorrhoea
At least we both were lying when we said that we were clear
Our syphilic kisses sealed the secret of our tryst
You gave me scrotal pustules with a quick flick of your wrist
Your trichovaginitis sent shivers down my spine
I got snail tracks in my anus when your spirochaetes met mine
Gonoccalurethritis, streptocalbalinitis,
Meningo myelitis, diplococcal cephalitis,
Epididymitis interstitial keratitis,
Syphilitic choroiditis and anterior uveitis.
It was better than the Oscars! Encore, encore!
Sappho xxx
Oh Tongue, you know I can't resist a man in a dinner jacket; makes me go all weak at the knees. You were certainly the best dressed man there!
Sappho xxx
A belated thank you from me to Vicky and Steve for all their hard work, and to the pub for having us.
My, what a night! The munches just get bigger and better. I keep having flashbacks of certain scenes. An image of Stuart pogoing during 'My Way' is the one before my eyes right now! (Not to mention the sight of Carpy's duck nestled in a variety of cleavages!)
As ever, a wonderful welcome from friends old and new - and a pleasure to meet everyone. I know there are people I missed saying hello to, so my apologies and see you next time.
Love Sappho xxx
Hello Tune,
Sarge has promised to post all the winners and the runners up after he gets in from work. It was a shame you missed it - it was certainly worth seeing!
Love Sappho xxx (still a tad hazy about certain aspects of the evening...)
See you all tomorrow! Hug me if you say hello!
Sappho xxx
Oh Harry, I am so saddened that you're leaving. After meeting you at the Mids Munch I was hoping to enact some designs upon your person! You are a truly gorgeous man and I wish you all that is good in life.
Much love,
Sappho xxx
I've been thinking about this all week - and it's a tough one. (Why can't I vote for Will?)
Best Avatar (Male) The naked Fred Flintstone; Steveg_nw's exposed nether regions; NeilinLeeds because I still think it's Cyrano de Bergerac and I wish he'd tell me what it really is!
Best Avatar (Female) Dawn_Mids fabulous breasts (please note the emerald tinge of envy there); Misschief (because it really does look like her); Corrie (the Las Vegas chorus girl one).
Most Prolific Thread Starter Sgt Bilko; Kitkat; Wilma Flintstone.
Funniest Poster (Male) Sgt Bilko; Fred Flintstone; Artificer.
Funniest Poster (Female) Misschief; Kit; Jags.
Best Thread What's in it FORUM you?; Security Matters; You b*stards!
Best use of Emoticons etc. Sgt Bilko; Wilma Flintsone; Kinky Lizard.
Best Newcomer (since 1st March) Kinky Lizard; well-busty-babe; dazandlou.
Mod of the year This is a tough one! I love them all! Okay, okay... mal609; Jags; Fred Flintstone; Steveg-nw
SH Couple Kitkat; Fred & Wilma Flintstone; Ian & Dawn_Mids
Lifetime Achievement Award Mark and Helen
Will, darling - I need a very large G & T after that!
Sappho xxx
Welcome to SH Surreychap and I hope you have fun in the forum! You don't have to be mentally challenged to enjoy life here, but it does have its advantages. A black leather couch is available for counselling sessions upon request.
Sappho xxx
Hello to sxhornycouple, Flavio and Saltrock and welcome to SH!
Have fun in the forum!
Sappho xxx
I have to agree with Judy - making love in the woods surrounded by bluebells. Wonderful memory! Well, they do say, hug a tree and get back to nature!
Sappho xxx
Hi
How about SH's official erotic artist in residence, Mozzarella? To get an indication of his work have a look at the January calendar on the SH Hmmm Hmmm page.
If you have any problem getting hold of him, PM me and I'll ask him to get in touch with you.
Sappho xxx
Darling Artificer,
Saddened as I am to see you depart SH, I hope so much you'll stay in touch with Will and I. You've been a very good friend to me in particular and I love you dearly and not least for your honesty, your wit and your humour.
Don't forget us, as surely we'll never forget you.
All the love in the world to you and yours,
Sappho xxx
I like Scrabble! But welcome back Byron - good to see you amongst us again.
Sappho xxx
Nice one Judy - you really don't want torn knicks after all. A girl has to look after her lingerie!
Sappho xxx
