It will be just as mad a place as you left it, if not more so!!!
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Srne
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 47
0 miles · Tyne and Wear
Forum
During our time on SH we have met quite a few people, some have been great company and we would consider them friends, others have been people we would rather not have met or spent time with.
As in life friendships come and go in the swinging scene, sex is a big motivator for some and can lead to that person/s not being entirely honest, or simply telling somebody what they want to hear rather than their true feelings etc.
We as a rule, never make close friendships with people we meet and chat to, there is always the possibility that one of the plethora of things that CAN happen, WILL happen during the course of one meet up to the next!
Some might say that this stops us from forming true and lasting friendships on here, and we would agree, but that is by choice.
We come here to meet new people, gain new experiences and to catch up with our "online friends", have a banter or for my (mr srne's) part, to read and share my thoughts on other people's threads.
We talk to loads of people on the chatrooms but how well do we really know them? Not as well as we know friends of ours whom we have known since childhood, who put up with us as much as we put up with them at times when we have been less than our best.
On here you donot have that "time served" basis, as, in its very essence, we start off here as strangers and usually only put our best foot forward in the public gaze so never usually get to knoe the "real people".
I hope the original poster can overcome her problems and after reading a few of the posts here, which have some great comments, come to realise that the swinging scene is very much like life.
The only difference here is that a majority of the people on SH have a sexually orientated reason for being here and that can and will inevitably lead to this type of scenario on occasion.
Hope you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and stand tall and carry on walking!! That is THE most important thing.
As in life friendships come and go in the swinging scene, sex is a big motivator for some and can lead to that person/s not being entirely honest, or simply telling somebody what they want to hear rather than their true feelings etc.
We as a rule, never make close friendships with people we meet and chat to, there is always the possibility that one of the plethora of things that CAN happen, WILL happen during the course of one meet up to the next!
Some might say that this stops us from forming true and lasting friendships on here, and we would agree, but that is by choice.
We come here to meet new people, gain new experiences and to catch up with our "online friends", have a banter or for my (mr srne's) part, to read and share my thoughts on other people's threads.
We talk to loads of people on the chatrooms but how well do we really know them? Not as well as we know friends of ours whom we have known since childhood, who put up with us as much as we put up with them at times when we have been less than our best.
On here you donot have that "time served" basis, as, in its very essence, we start off here as strangers and usually only put our best foot forward in the public gaze so never usually get to knoe the "real people".
I hope the original poster can overcome her problems and after reading a few of the posts here, which have some great comments, come to realise that the swinging scene is very much like life.
The only difference here is that a majority of the people on SH have a sexually orientated reason for being here and that can and will inevitably lead to this type of scenario on occasion.
Hope you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and stand tall and carry on walking!! That is THE most important thing.
Quote by northeastcoupleuktry the same but will a bit chillie honest it works ,would i lie to ya
A friend of mine once asked if I knew of any girls who "ever did anything kinky with alka seltzer".
Quite intrigued I asked him why and he told me that a girl he was indulging in carnal relations with had a habit of putting an alka seltzer on her clitoris and adding water to it before they had sex as it apparently heightened the sensitivity with all the fizzing!!
If anyone has heard of this/ tried it in the past do let me know. Myself and miss srne will no longer look at our hangover remedy in the same light if it is true!!
We were just nipping out for some an realised that Tesco's closed early on Sunday's, damn it ehy!!
:lol: A friend of mine once asked if I knew of any girls who "ever did anything kinky with alka seltzer".
Quite intrigued I asked him why and he told me that a girl he was indulging in carnal relations with had a habit of putting an alka seltzer on her clitoris and adding water to it before they had sex as it apparently heightened the sensitivity with all the fizzing!!
If anyone has heard of this/ tried it in the past do let me know. Myself and miss srne will no longer look at our hangover remedy in the same light if it is true!!
Quite intrigued I asked him why and he told me that a girl he was indulging in carnal relations with had a habit of putting an alka seltzer on her clitoris and adding water to it before they had sex as it apparently heightened the sensitivity with all the fizzing!!
If anyone has heard of this/ tried it in the past do let me know. Myself and miss srne will no longer look at our hangover remedy in the same light if it is true!!
Quote by kentswingers777
If a thread is locked and someone pm's a Mod about it, giving a good enough reason for it to be opened then it would be looked at. Im not saying it would, or wouldnt be reopended, but we would discuss it, and then give the person who sent the pm, a decision. Posts have been reopened in the past, and Im sure they will in the future.
It is a case of cant do right for doing wrong. If we leave threads open, people complain, if we lock them people complain,
Well admin have said NO threads have ever been re-opened, but you are saying they have? Am interested to know which is an accurate statement.
You said earlier that you wanted this to be a discussion, though you seem to be trying to push it into something else with the above statement, chill out for God's sake and just enjoy the bits you like about the place, ignore the bits you don't or use the "Cancel Account" button.
:shock:
With respect here, you could have also chosen to ignore my comment, but chose not too! Sometimes like yourself here, it is hard to " ignore " something no matter how hard you try. We love this site but....there are a few things we don't like, but still have the right to answer something, just like everyone else can on this site. Not going to say anything else, for fear of upsetting anybody else. :shock:
Errr yeah you kind of check mated me there a bit :doh:
And I really hate it when I'm VERY occasionally wrong!!
I think a better answer may have been, that somethings on the site will NOT change no matter how many times they are brought up, argued about or picked over.
Locked threads will still get locked if the Mod who has read it deems it necessary to do so, all the Mods are different in their approach to certain aspects/situations and discrepancies that happen on the site.
You will no doubt be aware that on here, just as in everyday life, you will agree with some things, disagree with others, but on the whole in a system such as SH employs, you will just have to put up with the bits you don't like (I wont say ignore word again :shock: fell right into my own noose there).
Many people have tried to change things on the site that they didn't like/agree with, I have watched threads unfold, been involved directly in some my self and even had a temporary ban for stepping over the AUP's in the vain hope that my point would be the one that got through.
The one thing that I have learned is that the system in place in SH, and the Mod's that enforce it, do so to keep it the place that we and you have come to love even with those bits we don't like so much.
Quote by kentswingers777
If a thread is locked and someone pm's a Mod about it, giving a good enough reason for it to be opened then it would be looked at. Im not saying it would, or wouldnt be reopended, but we would discuss it, and then give the person who sent the pm, a decision. Posts have been reopened in the past, and Im sure they will in the future.
It is a case of cant do right for doing wrong. If we leave threads open, people complain, if we lock them people complain,
Well admin have said NO threads have ever been re-opened, but you are saying they have? Am interested to know which is an accurate statement.
Kentswingers I have no loyalties on the site, am NOT in any cliques and don't kiss ass to gain favour, I say it as I see it, but some of your statements, like the one above, just seem to be trouble stirring, argumentative and provocative.
I say this because it's my opinion, and freedom of speech is being exercised here!!
You said earlier that you wanted this to be a discussion, though you seem to be trying to push it into something else with the above statement, chill out for God's sake and just enjoy the bits you like about the place, ignore the bits you don't or use the "Cancel Account" button.
:shock:
We don't ever really think and feel like "jacking it all in" but we do have periods where we don't use the site for quite a while.
It happened last year, after a large succession of possible nice people turned out to be either not so nice or not two people :shock:, we thought, "we will give the site a bit of distance for a bit."
When we came back online we sent a few mails out and the first people who responded seemed really nice, chatted on msn had the good old fem/fem chat, and ended up meeting them and having a fantastic time both socially and otherwise, with a really nice couple.
Maybe the best thing is to have a "sabbatical" from SH as the old adage goes "you don't know what you've got till its gone."
The one thing we did miss though was the forums and coming on here and sharing our thoughts and reading some of you good peoples.
It happened last year, after a large succession of possible nice people turned out to be either not so nice or not two people :shock:, we thought, "we will give the site a bit of distance for a bit."
When we came back online we sent a few mails out and the first people who responded seemed really nice, chatted on msn had the good old fem/fem chat, and ended up meeting them and having a fantastic time both socially and otherwise, with a really nice couple.
Maybe the best thing is to have a "sabbatical" from SH as the old adage goes "you don't know what you've got till its gone."
The one thing we did miss though was the forums and coming on here and sharing our thoughts and reading some of you good peoples.
Hi not had any of the tests myself, though I know people in the bodybuilding scene who have. These guys have to be ultra strict on diet and have to "cut up" decreasing the body's fat levels before a contest and as such diet is an important part of the overall contest prep.
The results have been positive to all the guys I've spoken to and when their diet was modified after the results they felt much more comfortable in their skin so to speak. Maybe this was mind over matter/psychological?
The important thing to realise is that everything in MODERATION is the key to good health, you dont actually need any vitamin supplements at all if you have a healthy balanced diet as your body takes them from the foods you consume.
If your diet is less than healthy vitamin C at 200mg twice a day and and vitamin B12 and calcium are a safe bet without rattling around like a pill box.
All I can really recommend is that if you are having stomach/digestive system problems, go to the doctor and explain your symptoms, if he is a decent GP he will not fob you off, if he does paying for a private consultation is a good bet and sometimes necessary with the state of the NHS. (government at fault NOT the employees, just to clarify the last point)
The results have been positive to all the guys I've spoken to and when their diet was modified after the results they felt much more comfortable in their skin so to speak. Maybe this was mind over matter/psychological?
The important thing to realise is that everything in MODERATION is the key to good health, you dont actually need any vitamin supplements at all if you have a healthy balanced diet as your body takes them from the foods you consume.
If your diet is less than healthy vitamin C at 200mg twice a day and and vitamin B12 and calcium are a safe bet without rattling around like a pill box.
All I can really recommend is that if you are having stomach/digestive system problems, go to the doctor and explain your symptoms, if he is a decent GP he will not fob you off, if he does paying for a private consultation is a good bet and sometimes necessary with the state of the NHS. (government at fault NOT the employees, just to clarify the last point)
Quote by Martin_M
Firstly there are really good reasons for and against a system to help with this. On the plus side it MIGHT help with timewasters if you had some way to leave a feedback somewhere.
On a negative point like ebay if it was left without a just cause that person might feel alienated or get upset for good reasons.
Maybe a voluntary system is an answer so people can choose to have it attached to their accounts.? Basically something where the people accept the meet and after they have met they can tick a box to confirm they met and that would establish a possitive/negative number, providing they both used the voluntary system(But this would need to be very carfully designed to avoid exploitation)
Im not really sure what are your thoughts? I dont want to pour petrol on the fire so can we please keep the remarks constructive. :D
Hi Martin,
I'm not too sure we actually NEED a form of verification, whether voluntary or not if I'm honest.
I think the best course of action is to put a well worded advisory sticky up about how best to avoid the inevitable timewasters and hints and tips from people on how this can be done.
Many people we chat to have "systems" they employ when initially getting into chat with people who contact them but these tend to be developed with experience and time, like the one we use.
Newer members, or the people who don't often use the forums usually haven't "developed a system" for want of a better phrase to avoid the timewasting scenario, so maybe a sticky to "advise" would work better and cause less opposition than a "system"? :wink:
Quote by Steve
Nuclear power is officially the cleanest and safest way to power our homes and business into the 21st century, or thats the official government line anyhow.
Burning coal produces many of the dangerous levels of carbon toxins that pollute the atmosphere and speed up the "greenhouse effect" and the "hole in the ozone layer", BUT, coal is cheap to extract, requires far less safety measures and technological equipment (which is expensive) within the structural building of the plant, money saved again, and doesn't need loads of employees to supervise the process from material to power generation, guess what money saved again!!
I bet you can't guess what I'm getting at
I get all that but coal isnt going to last as long a nuclear power so I can only summise that there is a distinct lack of forward planning involved ...
Why doesnt that suprise me :lol2:
I think its a case of "well there is coal there still, we might as well use it seeing as its cheap".
This is just the tip of the iceberg in double standards, we were going to convert our car to LPG using a government grant that gave us nearly £1000 off the cost of the installation, BUT then we found out that we HAD to use certain companies to get the grant, and guess what? They're twice the cost of non government subsidised ones, so you don't have to be a genius in mathematics to work out that your actually NOT saving a penny :shock: .
One in a long line of stealth "green measures" implemented by the government to look like it's doing it's bit!!
Nuclear power is officially the cleanest and safest way to power our homes and business into the 21st century, or thats the official government line anyhow.
Burning coal produces many of the dangerous levels of carbon toxins that pollute the atmosphere and speed up the "greenhouse effect" and the "hole in the ozone layer", BUT, coal is cheap to extract, requires far less safety measures and technological equipment (which is expensive) within the structural building of the plant, money saved again, and doesn't need loads of employees to supervise the process from material to power generation, guess what money saved again!!
I bet you can't guess what I'm getting at
Burning coal produces many of the dangerous levels of carbon toxins that pollute the atmosphere and speed up the "greenhouse effect" and the "hole in the ozone layer", BUT, coal is cheap to extract, requires far less safety measures and technological equipment (which is expensive) within the structural building of the plant, money saved again, and doesn't need loads of employees to supervise the process from material to power generation, guess what money saved again!!
I bet you can't guess what I'm getting at
Gosh now here's a question, being that we spend most weekends in front of the television glued to dvd's. I suppose you could call us "film buff's" for want of a cliche.
Lots of people say, "depends what mood I'm in" when talking about their favourite film/s, but I think a great film can invoke a certain mood/feeling and as such is a mark of its greatness!
Here are mine, I will also include films that we as a couple think are great too....
The Elephant Man
Se7en
Fallen
Man on Fire
Predator
David Copperfield original 1935 version
Rocky Anthology number 4 in particular
Home Alone
ops:
Just a varying collection of some of our favourites, though we really do spend too much time watching films!!
Lots of people say, "depends what mood I'm in" when talking about their favourite film/s, but I think a great film can invoke a certain mood/feeling and as such is a mark of its greatness!
Here are mine, I will also include films that we as a couple think are great too....
The Elephant Man
Se7en
Fallen
Man on Fire
Predator
David Copperfield original 1935 version
Rocky Anthology number 4 in particular
Home Alone
ops:Just a varying collection of some of our favourites, though we really do spend too much time watching films!!
Quote by northeastcoupleuk
the eighth dwarf will be found
alan shearer will become the mags manager
evander holyfields ear will be on ebay
club e (north east joke) will get a bar license
couples will start whispering single guys and piss then off(lol)
mrs north will finally get into her purse and find out of date notes
all the rest are possible but the last one, surely not?
Hi David there is a sticky on the Cafe forum regarding this very matter.
Maybe it would be best in your profile to put something along the lines of what you have stated above?
This is not uncommon on the site and as such I don't THINK (best to check on the sticky though) your breaking AUP's by stating this and arranging the occasional meet up with other on the site with your "occasional swinging friend", hope this helps!!
Welcome to SH Forums.
Maybe it would be best in your profile to put something along the lines of what you have stated above?
This is not uncommon on the site and as such I don't THINK (best to check on the sticky though) your breaking AUP's by stating this and arranging the occasional meet up with other on the site with your "occasional swinging friend", hope this helps!!
Welcome to SH Forums.
Quote by Pete_sw
The World According To Pete (so feel free to ignore)
2008 will bring a terrorist reply to the “surge” with an escalation of attacks on Europe and the free world, thankfully this will be short lived as the religious leaders of most religious groups throughout the world will begin (as some already have) to get into dialog and start to convince their followers that violence is not the answer and that extremism, of any creed, is unacceptable.
The western and U.S. economy will take a blistering nose dive by October 08 causing many companies and well known and trusted institutions to fold. The main causation of this will be the sharp fall in the availability of natural resources caused by the upsurge (westernisation) of China and the rest of the developing world at last finding themselves financially able to import the raw materials needed to totally industrialise and franchise their economy. This w3ill put a huge strain on the availability of those recourses and make them available only to those able to pay the price. Unfortunately, we no longer belong to those ranks.
Many if not most private equity companies will suffer huge financial losses as people begin to realise the true state of the global economy an start to withdraw funds.
The UK housing market will crash to rock bottom, also around October time due to the lack of finance / lending and lack of first time buyers being able to get a foothold in a totally plastic and unrealistic market place.
The first real signs of the effects of global warming will start to manifest themselves in 2008 in Europe and the northern hemisphere. Although some of the meteorological effects of this will be severe and newsworthy, they will be seen, reported and widely believed to be “freak” conditions, they will in fact be gentle insights into what we should expect to become the norm in 2009 / 2010
The political situation in the UK is harder to predict than the weather so all I can do is rely on certain scenarios:
The government will continue on its suicidal course of total control and face the very real threat that middle England will finally get on it’s hind legs and say: ………
ENOUGH
Enough interference
Enough mollycoddling
Enough cotton wool
Enough of the ridiculous PC brigade
Enough surveillance
Enough prying into our private affairs
Enough command and control
Enough telling us how we should conduct our lives
Enough centralisation
Enough crimilanlisation of ordinary law abiding people by the passing of stupid unnecessary new laws.
2008 / 2009 show the very real threat of civil unrest in the UK for the first time since ‘the riot years’ as the current government insists on careering down the self destructive path of “Big Brother” style of governing. Having overplayed the ‘ecology’ and the ‘terror threat’ cards to such an extent that even 14 year olds have been reported to acknowledge that this is a “bandwagon” government intent only on stealth tax and civil control, a change of direction is inevitable.
In the field of science a huge breakthrough will be announced towards the end of the year in the field of cancer / Parkinson’s disease / dementia etc. It will of course not have any positive effects in any of our lifetimes as for the next 100 years debate will rage about the so called ethics of the research.
The price of alcohol and fuel will rise dramatically this year in a vain attempt by HMG to gather in more and more revenue, again jumping on it’s self created band wagon of health and the environment :lol2: The upshot of this is quite obvious, people will make their own, the period of prohibition in the U.S. proved this beyond doubt, and with the technological advances that we have at our disposal since then, the home production of both bio fuels and alcohol will become a predominant factor in most British homes. Illegal drinking dens and fuel depots will flourish sending even more of our money into the underground markets depriving the country of the very taxes it so badly needs to keep itself afloat and providing the criminal syndicates with the financial power to continue to rule governments.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Wow seriously Pete, thanks for that, a lot of thought has gone into it, you pessimistic bas£^&d
I can see me and you getting on brother!!
Quote by woohoo
woohoo
What the f*ck Have I done!!!!! Or is it just an exclamation??
IF that's the case then woohoo is copyright and I will expect the usual fee :wink:
I knew you would pick up on that honestly!! And ermmmm of course it's just an exclamation, your not in our subconscious sexual thoughts or anything
Right just laughs and because I am doing research on Precognitive Prediction (just kidding would never use you lovely folks as lab rats ), this is a thread on your predictions for 2008!!
Can be related to anything, Celebrity marriages/break up's, news, current affairs,births or even deaths whatever, and let's see who comes close, hits the bullseye or scares the bejesus out of us with cannily accurate peering into the unknown expanses of 2008............. :shock:
Here are ours:
That I (mr srne) will be alive to check the results of this thread by this time in 2008, and Posh and Becks will announce their divorce!!
Miss srne thinks Mt Saint Helen's will erupt!!
Go on give us yours guys and girls, 10 points for a "comes close" 20 for a bullseye!!
), this is a thread on your predictions for 2008!!Can be related to anything, Celebrity marriages/break up's, news, current affairs,births or even deaths whatever, and let's see who comes close, hits the bullseye or scares the bejesus out of us with cannily accurate peering into the unknown expanses of 2008............. :shock:
Here are ours:
That I (mr srne) will be alive to check the results of this thread by this time in 2008, and Posh and Becks will announce their divorce!!
Miss srne thinks Mt Saint Helen's will erupt!!
Go on give us yours guys and girls, 10 points for a "comes close" 20 for a bullseye!!
Quote by X_fanny_x
some people might say im of the time wasting varietyI'm here first and foremost to chat, to have a laugh with my "online" friends (who are also a lot more forgiving normally) i enjoy the banter so much on here. last on the list is meeting people!.
Heres my timewasting speech as to why i dont meet very often....
I have an 8 year old child with ADHD and various other problems (no im not using that as an excuse
She has her own (young) children works full time and has parents that are in and out of hospital more often than the trains from hartlepool to london :lol: :lol: :lol: so no i cant ask her every weekend to look after her grandchild just so i can go off and have sex :twisted:
then there is the whole travelling thing etc.... as most of you know i do sometimes meet on my own #1 because of dek working abroad etc and #2 because it gives a small releif to the babysitting problems as dek can stay at home but i cant drive so meets anywhere outside cleveland are normally difficult :cry:
So go ahead can call me a timewaster but in my eyes thats not what i am, i dont arrange to meet then dont show up!!, im here for the chat if anything comes from that then great but its not my reason for being here
That certainly doesn't make you a timewaster at all, your one of the people who see the site for what it really is, more than a meeting place online for a quick shag.
We include ourselves in that bracket also, the site needs people like you (and us, woohoo self compliment :wink: ) to make it stay the place we all love and NOT the quick shag site some others seem to be.
Lots of people on "other sites" measure success on how many times they get laid, we measure success on here by how many hours we spend on this site chatting to you lot and having a great laugh, the occasional sexual shennanigans don't go amiss tho ehy!! :wink:
Quote by Freckledbird
Maybe we should have a 'timewasters' sticky? Then all the people who come and complain about timewasters will be able to read other people's posts about their time being wasted and be reassured that those people wouldn't waste anyone's time like they've had done. Guaranteed not to waste anyone's time. Kind of a 'meeting place' with a difference? Without turning into a verification/name and shame thread, obviously.
We were just on about the possibility of a "Timewasting Sticky" 'tis a good idea, I vote to pass a motion, speaking of which, I'm off to the loo!!
Right, first off the bat this IS a timewaster THEMED thread, NOT the usual timewaster thread we get on here weekly.
I lost money on the last one, thanks Sgt Bilko
It's more of an "alternative solution" to the timewaster problem, and a collation of my thoughts on this matter and maybe a different slant.......?
A lot of folk come onto the Forum and start timewaster threads, the regular Cafe user's see it on a weekly basis and it always inevitably gets the.
We have had our fair share of timewasters on the site, and have even, dare I say it, been called such a thing ourselves in the past.
There are a multitude of things that can go wrong during the course of attempting to meet people through a site like this. In its very essence we are arranging meetings with people we do not know, have no idea about and have spoken probably no more than a few minutes to. The word minefield would be a simile that springs to mind here!
We no longer see it as "timewasters spoiling the site" rather as a small negative part of an otherwise bloody great place. I think the people who go on timewasting crusades (i've used that word twice in as many days, word of the week?) maybe those people who use the site purely for meeting up with others for sexual encounters and don't see the bigger picture of what this place is?
We have made some good online pals here, in some ways they are better than "real world" friends, (they dont come knocking on your door at midnight after being kicked out for turning up at home drunk), and see this place as somewhere to go and get away from the normal everyday us our family and colleagues see.
I think if people started to see the more positive aspects of the site a little more, then there would be less of the timewasting threads that we all have come to expect.
We realise people are pissed off when they are let down, especially last minute, but it really is part and parcel of "the game" and must be planned for if not expected.
We as a couple are quite careful with meet up's, we have had only 8 in the 3 or so years we have been here, whether that be that we are picky buggers or not we don't know, and all but 2 have been great experiences for us that we have both thoroughly enjoyed both socially and sexually.
The two occasions when we have had "negative" (miss srne's outlook) or "learning" (my outlook) experiences have been when we had a couple come to ours who we said we would accommodate and didn't even really know and had a BLAZING row with each other at our house, and another when a couple we had traveled 75 miles to meet booked a hotel and didnt show up.
This moves me onto my next and final point, on the latter occasion we could have had a good old whinge and moan about it, got pissed off and blamed it on the "timewasters using the site", but we didn't!
We went out an had a great day seeing the sites of Sheffield, went ice sakting, and on the night went for a meal a drink at the pubs an clubs in a new town and had a bloody great time back at the hotel :twisted:
The moral of the story is ( this is starting to feel like an Aesop's Fable) we made the most of it, we had fun together as a couple and enjoyed the chance to get out and about somewhere different without dwelling on the negative aspect of the other people not turning up.
We now use this outlook in every meet up we plan and if we decide to travel we always have a contingency in place to make sure that if the worst happens and they don't show,we make the time there enjoyable and do stuff together, we don't NEED other people to have a good time, and I think some couples forget that!!
Hope this helps to nullify a few timewaster threads........if only for a week or two................please :lol: :wink:
I lost money on the last one, thanks Sgt Bilko
It's more of an "alternative solution" to the timewaster problem, and a collation of my thoughts on this matter and maybe a different slant.......?
A lot of folk come onto the Forum and start timewaster threads, the regular Cafe user's see it on a weekly basis and it always inevitably gets the
.We have had our fair share of timewasters on the site, and have even, dare I say it, been called such a thing ourselves in the past.
There are a multitude of things that can go wrong during the course of attempting to meet people through a site like this. In its very essence we are arranging meetings with people we do not know, have no idea about and have spoken probably no more than a few minutes to. The word minefield would be a simile that springs to mind here!
We no longer see it as "timewasters spoiling the site" rather as a small negative part of an otherwise bloody great place. I think the people who go on timewasting crusades (i've used that word twice in as many days, word of the week?
) maybe those people who use the site purely for meeting up with others for sexual encounters and don't see the bigger picture of what this place is? We have made some good online pals here, in some ways they are better than "real world" friends, (they dont come knocking on your door at midnight after being kicked out for turning up at home drunk), and see this place as somewhere to go and get away from the normal everyday us our family and colleagues see.
I think if people started to see the more positive aspects of the site a little more, then there would be less of the timewasting threads that we all have come to expect.
We realise people are pissed off when they are let down, especially last minute, but it really is part and parcel of "the game" and must be planned for if not expected.
We as a couple are quite careful with meet up's, we have had only 8 in the 3 or so years we have been here, whether that be that we are picky buggers or not we don't know, and all but 2 have been great experiences for us that we have both thoroughly enjoyed both socially and sexually.
The two occasions when we have had "negative" (miss srne's outlook) or "learning" (my outlook) experiences have been when we had a couple come to ours who we said we would accommodate and didn't even really know and had a BLAZING row with each other at our house, and another when a couple we had traveled 75 miles to meet booked a hotel and didnt show up.
This moves me onto my next and final point, on the latter occasion we could have had a good old whinge and moan about it, got pissed off and blamed it on the "timewasters using the site", but we didn't!
We went out an had a great day seeing the sites of Sheffield, went ice sakting, and on the night went for a meal a drink at the pubs an clubs in a new town and had a bloody great time back at the hotel :twisted:
The moral of the story is ( this is starting to feel like an Aesop's Fable) we made the most of it, we had fun together as a couple and enjoyed the chance to get out and about somewhere different without dwelling on the negative aspect of the other people not turning up.
We now use this outlook in every meet up we plan and if we decide to travel we always have a contingency in place to make sure that if the worst happens and they don't show,we make the time there enjoyable and do stuff together, we don't NEED other people to have a good time, and I think some couples forget that!!
Hope this helps to nullify a few timewaster threads........if only for a week or two................please :lol: :wink:
Right, first off the bat this IS a timewaster THEMED thread, NOT the usual timewaster thread we get on here weekly.
I lost money on the last one, thanks Sgt Bilko
It's more of an "alternative solution" to the timewaster problem, and a collation of my thoughts on this matter and maybe a different slant.......?
A lot of folk come onto the Forum and start timewaster threads, the regular Cafe user's see it on a weekly basis and it always inevitably gets the.
We have had our fair share of timewasters on the site, and have even, dare I say it, been called such a thing ourselves in the past.
There are a multitude of things that can go wrong during the course of attempting to meet people through a site like this. In its very essence we are arranging meetings with people we do not know, have no idea about and have spoken probably no more than a few minutes to. The word minefield would be a simile that springs to mind here!
We no longer see it as "timewasters spoiling the site" rather as a small negative part of an otherwise bloody great place. I think the people who go on timewasting crusades (i've used that word twice in as many days, word of the week?) maybe those people who use the site purely for meeting up with others for sexual encounters and don't see the bigger picture of what this place is?
We have made some good online pals here, in some ways they are better than "real world" friends, (they dont come knocking on your door at midnight after being kicked out for turning up at home drunk), and see this place as somewhere to go and get away from the normal everyday us our family and colleagues see.
I think if people started to see the more positive aspects of the site a little more, then there would be less of the timewasting threads that we all have come to expect.
We realise people are pissed off when they are let down, especially last minute, but it really is part and parcel of "the game" and must be planned for if not expected.
We as a couple are quite careful with meet up's, we have had only 8 in the 3 or so years we have been here, whether that be that we are picky buggers or not we don't know, and all but 2 have been great experiences for us that we have both thoroughly enjoyed both socially and sexually.
The two occasions when we have had "negative" (miss srne's outlook) or "learning" (my outlook) experiences have been when we had a couple come to ours who we said we would accommodate and didn't even really know and had a BLAZING row with each other at our house, and another when a couple we had traveled 75 miles to meet booked a hotel and didnt show up.
This moves me onto my next and final point, on the latter occasion we could have had a good old whinge and moan about it, got pissed off and blamed it on the "timewasters using the site", but we didn't!
We went out an had a great day seeing the sites of Sheffield, went ice sakting, and on the night went for a meal a drink at the pubs an clubs in a new town and had a bloody great time back at the hotel :twisted:
The moral of the story is ( this is starting to feel like an Aesop's Fable) we made the most of it, we had fun together as a couple and enjoyed the chance to get out and about somewhere different without dwelling on the negative aspect of the other people not turning up.
We now use this outlook in every meet up we plan and if we decide to travel we always have a contingency in place to make sure that if the worst happens and they don't show,we make the time there enjoyable and do stuff together, we don't NEED other people to have a good time, and I think some couples forget that!!
Hope this helps to nullify a few timewaster threads........if only for a week or two................please :lol: :wink:
I lost money on the last one, thanks Sgt Bilko
It's more of an "alternative solution" to the timewaster problem, and a collation of my thoughts on this matter and maybe a different slant.......?
A lot of folk come onto the Forum and start timewaster threads, the regular Cafe user's see it on a weekly basis and it always inevitably gets the
.We have had our fair share of timewasters on the site, and have even, dare I say it, been called such a thing ourselves in the past.
There are a multitude of things that can go wrong during the course of attempting to meet people through a site like this. In its very essence we are arranging meetings with people we do not know, have no idea about and have spoken probably no more than a few minutes to. The word minefield would be a simile that springs to mind here!
We no longer see it as "timewasters spoiling the site" rather as a small negative part of an otherwise bloody great place. I think the people who go on timewasting crusades (i've used that word twice in as many days, word of the week?
) maybe those people who use the site purely for meeting up with others for sexual encounters and don't see the bigger picture of what this place is? We have made some good online pals here, in some ways they are better than "real world" friends, (they dont come knocking on your door at midnight after being kicked out for turning up at home drunk), and see this place as somewhere to go and get away from the normal everyday us our family and colleagues see.
I think if people started to see the more positive aspects of the site a little more, then there would be less of the timewasting threads that we all have come to expect.
We realise people are pissed off when they are let down, especially last minute, but it really is part and parcel of "the game" and must be planned for if not expected.
We as a couple are quite careful with meet up's, we have had only 8 in the 3 or so years we have been here, whether that be that we are picky buggers or not we don't know, and all but 2 have been great experiences for us that we have both thoroughly enjoyed both socially and sexually.
The two occasions when we have had "negative" (miss srne's outlook) or "learning" (my outlook) experiences have been when we had a couple come to ours who we said we would accommodate and didn't even really know and had a BLAZING row with each other at our house, and another when a couple we had traveled 75 miles to meet booked a hotel and didnt show up.
This moves me onto my next and final point, on the latter occasion we could have had a good old whinge and moan about it, got pissed off and blamed it on the "timewasters using the site", but we didn't!
We went out an had a great day seeing the sites of Sheffield, went ice sakting, and on the night went for a meal a drink at the pubs an clubs in a new town and had a bloody great time back at the hotel :twisted:
The moral of the story is ( this is starting to feel like an Aesop's Fable) we made the most of it, we had fun together as a couple and enjoyed the chance to get out and about somewhere different without dwelling on the negative aspect of the other people not turning up.
We now use this outlook in every meet up we plan and if we decide to travel we always have a contingency in place to make sure that if the worst happens and they don't show,we make the time there enjoyable and do stuff together, we don't NEED other people to have a good time, and I think some couples forget that!!
Hope this helps to nullify a few timewaster threads........if only for a week or two................please :lol: :wink:
As above.
Have you tried Google? There are loads of sites that sell amateur type stuff on there, I've just had a quick browse, purely for research purposes obviously!!
Not sure how amateur you want though? Lots of amateur porn tends to be scripted and based around situations that I'm sure you know are faked for the camera.
There are sites that film male porn stars propositioning young gorgeous girls on the street in a "you need some money an wanna suck my d*$k" kind of scenario" which tend to be more "amateur looking" girls rather than the porn starlet types who look very plastic.
"Benn Dover" dvd's which we have watched in the past, seem a little more realistic, the box's do claim that the women featured have wrote or emailed the production company to appear in the dvds and are not professional models etc but are being paid to appear. They do look quite authentic as the women in them are not of the "pornstar" look, they usually turn up at the womans house and just get down to business.
Hope this helps and you must understand, Im not a porn fanatic, I researched purely to help you, I don't even watch porn........
Ah who am I trying to kid
Have you tried Google? There are loads of sites that sell amateur type stuff on there, I've just had a quick browse, purely for research purposes obviously!!
Not sure how amateur you want though? Lots of amateur porn tends to be scripted and based around situations that I'm sure you know are faked for the camera.
There are sites that film male porn stars propositioning young gorgeous girls on the street in a "you need some money an wanna suck my d*$k" kind of scenario" which tend to be more "amateur looking" girls rather than the porn starlet types who look very plastic.
"Benn Dover" dvd's which we have watched in the past, seem a little more realistic, the box's do claim that the women featured have wrote or emailed the production company to appear in the dvds and are not professional models etc but are being paid to appear. They do look quite authentic as the women in them are not of the "pornstar" look, they usually turn up at the womans house and just get down to business.
Hope this helps and you must understand, Im not a porn fanatic, I researched purely to help you, I don't even watch porn........
Ah who am I trying to kid
