Danny, I do agree with much of what you are saying, but at some point as a child grows, a parent has to loosen those apron strings, and the environment a child is living in can have a huge impact upon their lives, as well as their parents. It can be very damaging to a teen not to have access to some independance and mix in with a peer group, but by the same token, the wrong peer group can lead to their undoing. To a teenager their peer group can become so much more important than their parents, it`s pretty normal for parents to become secondary to their social circle, it`s all a part of growing up. Add school to the mix, where they spend more time than with their parents, there can be plently over-looked depending on how vigilent the school is. For example, my daughter had access to alcohol through friends at school, if it had been a rougher inner-city school, she may have had access to much worse. It can be sooo easily over-looked. Kids are cunning like that.
I`d brought her up with all the chats about peer pressure etc which worked to a point, but she is a very strong-willed individual, one who all too often has to try things out for herself before she learns a lesson. That is her character. I probably raised her to be like that I admit, but if she can survive her teens, and I believe she will, this will act in her favour in the longrun, and she will reap the rewards (and hopefully thank us for it :P ).
Looking back, I can see so many instances where she could have gone off of the rails completely, and it`s seems to me, that it has been a combination of good parenting, the area we live in, and pure blind luck which has pulled her through. Not all parents have all three at their disposal.
Venusxxx
Honestly not trying to crap all over your thread, but having just posted on Reese`s poll, I was wondering just how risky is this concerning STD`s?
Venusxxx
Silky, I think most children go through that stage of biting. When mine did, I was often told to `bite her back`. I never did. The idea repulsed me. I have however, smacked my children in the past, yes there are other avenues at a parent`s disposal, but sometimes it`s just bloody quicker! I don`t mind admitting that sometimes I took an easier way out, much in the same way I don`t mind letting my children know that I am, in fact, human. The approach worked for me, as when they became older (about 7) I found that I rarely needed to smack them at all. Often a raised voice, or communicating my disappointment in their behaviour was enough to make them stop and think. In fact one of them once told me that out of all of the punishments I dished out, it was the look of disappointment which effected her the most. The line I ALWAYS drew when I smacked my children, was that I didn`t enjoy doing it. If I`d ever found myself wanting to smack them as a release, then that would be the worst thing for me to do.
No a smack that bruises is not ok. A smack that doesn`t probably isn`t if you want to be a perfectparent, but such an parent doesn`t exist (IMO), and neither do I think it takes a perfect parent to be a good one. Banning smacking altogether, when the vast majority of parents DON`t step over the mark doesn`t leave much room for the average parent. I do realise that many parents don`t smack their children at all, and this works very well for them, but every parent is likely to fall down in minor ways somewhere along the line, and I don`t see why smacking should be centered out from all the other minor infractions a parent can make.
A smack that doesn`t probably isn`t if you want to be a perfectparent, but such an parent doesn`t exist
I take that back. A perfect parent is one who can show their children that people have their frailties. Therefore I am the perfect parent. :smug:
Venusxxx
Everybody is correct to a point. What seems to be overlooked here is the individual circumstances of a family. It`s impossible to make a blanket statement to determine why kids are off of the rails, because there will always be individual families who do not fit into that catagory. That`s what makes it such a touchy subject. Not all parents want, or deserve to be tarred with the same brush, but you can damn well guaruntee that there are some who deserve to be tarred with that brush.....and feathered......and possibly set fire to as well.
Venusxxx
October would be good...............:mrgreen:
Venusxxx
Awww, I didn`t think you were making it up, I just thought you believed it! (((hugs)))
Venusxxx
I come here because you are all my test subjects........... :borg:
Venusxxx
Well Blue, if at 33 you are no longer the size you were at 14, I`d say things are spiralling out of control, and fast! There really is only one answer.........
LIPOSUCTION! :P
Venusxxx
It doesn't seem right to me, what the fuck have you been talking about the rest of the time?? 
with you... (or indeed face to groin 
with you)
:giggle:
