Quote by Scandal
Do goldfish take piss? Seriously. I`m curious :uhoh:
Venusxxx
It depends, do you piss in your goldfish bowl? Just wundrin like
Well I can if it would make it happy, responsible pet owner and all that.
Venusxxx
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VenusnMars
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 54
Straight Female, 83
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Quote by Libra-Love
What a picturesque thought libra. Thanks for that.
Sorry
I suffer from penis envy. Can you tell?
The first thing I'd do is try blow myself :shock:
:twisted: Then I'd take my time discovering the different sensations of sticking it into everything from fruit to the vacuum cleaner :shock:
Then when I'm sure it's working properly I'd look for someone who wanted to share :twisted:
Before or after you wash the dust bunnies off? :shock:
Venusxxx
Quote by davej
Listen Mrj my performance was one of such stamina and talent that I totally exhausted the poor girl
I could tell that because she fell asleep poor lamb after a couple of minutes :shock:
Does Mary know about this :shock:
No, but `the boy who cried wolf` is currently seeking therapy :shock: :shock: :shock:
Venusxxx
Quote by davej
while you lot have been making this thread Ive spent the last three hours shagging
due to my enormous manhood and stamina she may never walk again :twisted:
and this with a new season approching on blackpool pleasure beach.......just think of the kids that won't be able to have their ride on Penelope now.
Now THAT made me choke on my tea!
Venusxxx
Quote by marmalaid
I won`t shut up until someone puts their cock in my mouth!
oops, did I say that out loud....... :uhoh:
Venusxxx
Could take a while then I guess. Who's gonna do that to you?
:P :P :P :P
Well not YOU, you wouldn`t get past the queue outside of my front door. Loads of people out there, hammering the door down they are! :moon:
Venusxxx
Quote by neilinleeds
well don't look at me. if you think i'm answering that crass one liner i got earlier you got another thing coming! :P
neil x x x ;)
I wouldn`t expect you to. You are a single guy aren`t you? Therefore not a REAL swinger, therefore you are a TIMEWASTER!
I hope you appreciate the time and effort that went into that PM!!
Venusxxx
Quote by neilinleeds
damn you're all soooooooo naive!it's common knowledge?
right, my ex-girlfriends mum's sister's best mate, had this friend right, who heard about this woman who had to have one surgically removed, so it must be true? course in the grand scheme of things it's not nearly so embarrassing as having a lightbulb removed from your arse, but it's still summat to be avoided eh?
neil x x x ;)
Ah, I see, kinda reminds me of the time my best mate`s brothers, mother in law`s, boss`s, sister, ended up at the doctor`s because she forgot about the pesticides that the banana she used might have been sprayed with
Venusxxx
This is a thread for REAL swingers. Personally I am sick of all the timewasters out there, particularly the ones in the cafe, and as the mods don`t seem to understand the concept of REAL swinging, I have taken it upon myself to provide a little corner of the site to cater for serious people! Not couples who might think swinging is all about being able to take your time, and jump into all that socialising shit. I don`t have time for swingers who hang around for almost a year, having only achieved a little soft swing once, and then because they were enjoying the company of said couple so much they forgot to fit the sex in, and some exhibitionism at the SMB, wtf is that all about then?! Waste of bloody time!
So let`s be having you! Legs are open, anyone will do because I am a REAL swinger...and please, please, don`t waste my time by trying to be a friend first
Venusxxx
So let`s be having you! Legs are open, anyone will do because I am a REAL swinger...and please, please, don`t waste my time by trying to be a friend first
Venusxxx
Quote by neilinleeds
Try sitting on top of the washing machine while its on a spin programe and see if you have a coarrot or courgette you can use at the same time!!
:shock: :shock: :shock:
Now that's just irresponsible is that kind of advice Mrs Foxlady!
look, if you MUST use courgettes, cucumbers or marows internally, be sure to use a condom, or at the very least wrap them in clingfilm first. they have a tendency to absorb moisture, and may swell, in which case they'll need to be removed with a melon baller.
hope this helps? :P
neil x x x ;)
Yes Neil, do share....in a responsible and technical manner you understand...... :twisted:
Venusxxx
