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VenusnMars
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 54
Straight Female, 83

Forum

Well, this is one totally self-obsessed sad gobshite who has total respect for someone who is introspective enough to want to reach that little bit further and who can say that swinging is a part of their identity. cool
I'm saying NOTHING else for the moment, because I would no doubt spectacularly miss the point, and make a few of my own which would have people thinking I need locking up!
Great post though worship
Venusxxx
Quote by seagull69
May be they are waiting for a signal from us but we are crap swingers lol As we are quite shy redface

Oh for the ability to say 'right everyone, kit off!'
Dunno about others here, but no matter how well we've all communicated, how well we all get along, there's always that moment when it's time to become hands on, and you dread the chance that as soon as you make the move, the reality is suddenly going to hugely disagree with someone, bit like work yesterday. I had to pull down a man's trousers, I made it clear what needed to be done, I communicated, but when those trousers actually came down, it was like a scene from the movie Rainman, when Tom Cruise was trying to get his brother on a plane :shock: :scared:
Should prolly make it clear at this point that the guy suffers from Alzheimer's, and I'm a nurse! rotflmao
It's especially that first move point which makes me feel for the single person. Unless they are at a very high level of communication with the couple, they have noone to fall back on for reassurance.
Venusxxx
Quote by little gem
It is unrealistic. If you think about it, most couples on here have been with each other over many years and are aware of what the other person likes.
I think to expect someone else to come into the relationship as an equal partner in the whole or just part of the relationship is quite inconsiderate to the long term partner who has been there through thick and thin and will be once the single has gone home. With a couple situation you always have the other person to consider and it is not always easy to get that bit right.

Hmmm, it wasn't meant to come across as pologamoury! If both partners are keen to give the single as much sexual exploritary reward as their partner, which long term partner is it being inconsiderate to? Mars and I certainly discussed it, and when he voiced this, I didn't feel he was being inconsiderate, in fact I was bowled over by just how considerate his sexual personality is. I was keen to play with the idea, and being able to cater for it is something I felt we deserved. It wouldn't happen unless I was able to be comfortable with the idea. A single person entering the bedroom is never going to develop the same kind of relationship the couple have, they will be going home at the end of the day, and can never be a part of the lovemaking (which is something we DON'T share) or history the couple have together, but as much as some single people feel that sharing intimacy with a couple can be a rewarding and profound sexual experiance, so too could the couple try to extend this to the single, especially if the couple quite get off on the idea, both of them wink, that adds to the experiance we'd take away with us as a couple. Knowing that as a unit we were able to help someone else acheive a sexual moment which is important to them also.
What is gained from the experiance can be very different for the couple but in our opinion, no less important just because the other has no partner, and knowing we could cater for this for another person adds to the excitement. It's about giving all involved equal reward in their sexual explorations, catering for what they want as much as another. The idea of just considering each others gain and not those of the single just turns us off.
I think it takes very good friends and the ability to develop a good threeway communication to cater for this, and we wouldn't dream of swinging with anyone until we both were able to relax with the other, after a year of being on the site, we are still socialising with people we are interested in (might have even shagged them by now if it wasn't for distance!)
Venusxxx
Quote by Sunbunny
]You also have to try hard to please both - it's as if you were 'in a contract' and you don't want to disappoint. But where a couple can mostly get what they want from the situation, and even if they don't, they have each other, when you swing alone it is not you who calls the shots, unless you go in as this mega domme

/Luther King moment
I have a dream!
My idea of swinging with ANYONE is that any contract is equal, and that they get as much out of it as we do as a couple. To my mind that kind of equality adds to the entire experiance. In theory. I find the idea of additional partners gleaning as much out of the experiance profound and flattering. If I'm to share my sexuality I want to do so to it's fullest. If they don't get as much, neither will I.
Quote by neilinleeds
the single guy is basically an outsider, and if things should go wrong, he has noone to turn to for support, and noone to discuss the whys and wherefores of it all with. it's much easier for a couple to discuss things and plan again for another try with a different bloke, for the single guy bad experiences can be completely off-putting altogether, particularly when you sometimes have to work fairly hard to get the opportunity in the first place.
neil x x x ;)

A single swinger deserves much more than that. I personally am not comfortable with 'using' an additional partner as a means to an end, but the post doesn't surprise me. I think many single people and couples see that inviting someone to their bed as some kind of favour, and bestowing this great honour equals the right of the couple to set the tone, not the do's and don'ts par se, but the general scenario.
It's insulting, it should be a three way sexual partnership.
Maybe that's unrealistic, which is why we haven't done much!
Venusironknickersxxx
Woohoo! You are back! My sim card died, along with your number!
Jas, there will be a reckoning...... :twisted:
Venusxxx
It occured to me that a single swinger entering a couple situation must be a huge responsibilty, especially since the couple have each other to lean on emotionally, but the single person doesn't have anyone they are as close to to back them up when the nerves and possible unspoken vibes kick in.
I'd be interested in how others feel about this? How they have found past experiances, how much they take on board? How difficult have they found communication at the time? Is there a constant worry of jealously kicking in? (I know, in an ideal world yadda yadda, but nerves are a fact of life!)
It's badly phrased I know but I'm off to work in a few. Looking forward to reading everyone's thoughts when I get in smile
Venusxxx
Quote by neilinleeds
i hope we kill it for good here ((( though i won't hold my breath. )))
neil x x x ;)

Shouldn't this have been posted in LMU?
Possibly via a new account?!
Venusxxx
Quote by freckledbird
If that teacher's beliefs don't fit with those of the school and they are going to enforce their own in such a manner, they are being unprofessional and shouldn't be allowed to work at that school. However, that doesn't mean that they should be excluded from working in all schools, as there will be others where their beliefs fit. Supply teachers can and do work at more than one school.

I agree that if the teacher makes a habit of it, but a reprimand should be in order before someone has to face losing their current job.
Venusxxx
Quote by Horous
Copy a letter of complaint to the teacher concerned; their agency, the head and the chair of Governors. Make it very clear you deem this unacceptable and contrary to an reasonable school and education policy currently in existance.
The supply teacher should be made to apologise to your child in front of you.
If the school choose not to take action then copy the director of Education in on the letter as well.
Good luck honey and the best of luck to your son for his SATs.
Steph biggrin :D

I agree with Step here except in one point, the supply teacher should be made to apologise to your son in front of the whole school, and should no longer be able to teach at the school again.
John
That's a little harsh IMO. The teacher in question should be taught respect atheism as a belief instead of assuming the kid was 'playing up'. The other kids were backed up by their differing religions, and multi-cultural awareness allows for this. It's time this was extended to non-belief granted, but destroying a person's job in the process is not contructive.
Venusxxx
Yes! I'm not on the rota at work for this week yet! We have mates we can crash with, and I need time off! :bounce: Can you book us in?
Venusxxx
Quote by Jas-Tim
Have to say I bloody hate religious intolerance - even more so since Timmy was subjected to it recently.
Some things get so ingrained though mad
Stick to your guns and make a formal complaint.
Jas
XXX

Well, if he WILL insist on walking around looking like Jesus, what does he expect? rolleyes
Venusxxx
I like the idea of Newbies starting their own intro threads. It gives them a platform to dive in from, and gives us an idea of the person/s. Mixing them all up on the same thread would lesson their impact. smile
Venusxxx
Quote by Eagerslut9
I think the debate going on here, and the comments being made, reflect that in fact SH Towers is functioning 100% ok.

There has been debates on this latest 'trend' months ago. It changed nothing. People thought about it, scratched their chins, and then decided they were having too much fun being bitches.
Think I'll go now before I start to sound too serious! wink bolt

Yes, get back in your box! :wink:
actually that was a really well thought-out post, but I don't do nice :uhoh:
Venusxxx
Quote by the_Laird
Recently we have seen less and less of the old guard.
The Laird

Guilty as charged.
True, I'm working now, and wouldn't post as much anyway, but I backed off before work started, and I'm backing off still now. I spend ages trying to log in (bad connection) and when I do, I wonder why I bothered, then I check my PM box, smile, and that's what keeps me here, not the 'entertaining' spite which is vomited up on the main board on a daily basis. I can honestly say that it's not just a personal assumption when I state that many others have also retreated to their PM boxes. It's fact. I loved coming to SH to unwind, and be myself. I miss that.
Quote by Eager
I agree with much of what you've said, and I have noticed a shift in the forum too but we've been here before and I think it's a cyclical thing and it will move on in due course.

Usually it is, and it used to fascinate me. Now, however, it's been going on for long enough to become an established trend. When the mods start feeling the need to make sincere heartfelt posts on the matter, then we should all be sitting up and taking notice, for they more than anyone are familiar when cyclic trends and are unlikely to comment, or feel the need to fade into the background if that is all it is. Mark has said on more than one occasison that it is the people who make the site, we all set the tone, this is out of the mods hands, and I should imagine they must be sitting back in despair when they work so hard to maintain a site that many people choose to fill with poison. I, and others, are done trying to set a nicer tone in the face of adversity. Hopefully, with some of the latest posts on the subject, the tide will finally turn.
To those of you who find this constant harping at people entertaining; GET A LIFE FFS! Take up knitting, pottery, long walks, anything, the site would be much richer for it, and be worried. Why do you do it? I thought I was sad when I was bored shitless, and spamming the board with complex discussion after complex discussion. I can understand the need to make your own entertainment when life in the real world is all too hard to find. I totally get the need to be stimulated, but for fucks sake why choose spite, harrassment, trampling over others in order to get noticed and seek approval from like-minded people? What a cop out. Is it because you simply can't be arsed to put the effort into thinking up more valuable stimulation, or is it simply because you are too thick to know how? Really, I'd be interested to know. Take a good long hard look at yourselves and ask yourselves what is so lacking in your lives that falling back on this kind of behaviour is necessary.
Quote by northwest-cpl
Well said The Laird. I think there is probably a large silent majority that agrees with you.

Never could suss out that whole 'silent' thingamabob. dunno :mrgreen:
Venusxxx
Good luck with your interview hun. Fingers crossed, and don't belittle it. A job is what you make of it. biggrin
Venusxxx
Well, we went to the Private shop in Pompey, and are bloody glad we did. They have a sale on. We bought a vibe with balls and stuff inside and a bloody great handle worth 50 quid for a tenner, a simple vibe worth 20 quid for a fiver, and a this bloody HUGE vibrating strap-on worth 80 for a 15 quid. Thing is we didn't look in the box before we bought it, and on opening it at home the thing scares the shit outta even me :shock: :shock: :shock:
and I've had babies :scared:
Venusxxx
Quote by Scandal
psst, Scandal, what are you wearing?! :rascal:
Venusxxx

:shock: :shock: :shock:
Nothing! redface
WooHooo! :bounce: :twisted:
Venusxxx
Quote by Scandal
rolleyes :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:
Jeez woman, you're easily amused!
Lock it Birko! lol

Awww c'mon, I barely post these days. I earned this thread
/wails and gnashes teeth
psst, Scandal, what are you wearing?! :rascal:
Venusxxx
Quote by Sgt Bilko
I think you will find that this was more like it:
Maybe Venus was right out of order!!

lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Assassin! evil smackbottom
Venusxxx
Quote by Scandal
Maybe Venus was right
:shock:
and again
Quote by Scandal
Maybe Venus was right

one more time :mrgreen:
Quote by Scandal
Maybe Venus was right

:giggle: :mrgreen:
Venusxxx
Quote by GenHertsCpl
Thank god the only craze my daughter is into is Scoubi-dou, long pieces of plastic thread you weave into patterns making keyrings etc confused
God help her when shes older!!
Phew!!

OMG, mine does that too, and she'll be 17 in June.
There IS a god! :lol2:
Venusxxx
Quote by MikeNorth
Surely there must be some sex shops in Sussex! Try Upper Dicker, but maybe not Littlehampton.
Sorry, Venus lol , can't help, but good luck.
Mike.

Apparently I heard Littlehampton does have one, and it would be the nearest, but it's well hushed up, and I can't find the address! Most of the searches I've done for the area go along the lines of 'Sex shop application shocker', and 'Local residents squash Sex shop horror'
Ho hum.
Can't shop online as I don't use credit or debit cards, and I left it a little too late for EBay.
Pompey it is then.
Steph, thanks for the recommendations. smile
Oh, and ta G
:lol:
Venusxxx
Bournmouth is far too distant. We are right smack bang between Pompey and Brighton, and are trying to find something closer. Pompy is the easiest, so if that is the nearest we can get, then an alternative to Ann Summers would be useful if anyone knows of one?
Venusxxx
Oh you know, one of those slippy fleshfest types which won't interfere with getting a mouthful :twisted:
Condom friendly would be even better. :mrgreen:
Venusxxx
We are somewhere between Portsmouth and Brighton, and need to go shopping! The nearest Anne Summers is in Pompey, and bloody expensive. If anyone knows of other cheaper, and possibly nearer retailers I'd be grateful. I've tried Google, but it keeps coming up with online shopping.
Or perhaps someone knows of an edible massage oil we can buy from a High Street store?
Quite like the idea of shopping for more though. I have no toys *sob*
Venusxxx
I'm not with AOL any longer. I'm on BT broadband. Same shit, different day.
Venusxxx
Quote by peenut
Its just an idea but sounds like the type of conection you want may not be compatable with the modem/phone line Voice communication over a telephone line is a whole lot different to data transmittion .and it sounds like your computer set up is poss too advanced for the BT line out to the exchange! Changing service provider is not going to solve much if you are still using the same old telephone cables ! Maybe try a old low band 52K type modem and see if that works, or if there is a proper cable network company using their own cable then try them. Its only a thought ,so it may not work !

Quote by VenusnMars
It's our line, not us, we never could get dial up, they couldn't find out why.........
The connection started to drop again, so an engineer came out, checked the connection on his own equipment, scratched his chin, said he 'didn't get it' and started testing at different points along the road.......

You don't work for BT do you by any chance?!
Ta anyway kiss
Venusxxx