Quote by Fools-Gold
I can honestly say that in the last 2 years we have maybe done it 6 times :-( in every other capacity of our relationship life is great. I lov ehe rto bits, her personality, her morals etc. She is fantastic in that respect - but when it comes to sex or even getting intimate, she hates me licking her out, trying to finger her. As a result, she is always dry. I think the lame lies with both parties but I am torn as what to do. Only so many times I can try to pre=empt sex and get knocked back...

This is such a difficult situation for both of you and I can only speak from a girlfriend/wife POV. I've been in two long term relationships where sex was very unsatisfactory. I was unable to achieve orgasm with either partner and was constantly left unsatisfied which is not a great motivation to have sex after a couple of years in that situation. No blame to either party just that I've subsequently learned that our main problem was an inability or unwillingness to discuss the problem...
If we had been able to discuss the probs then we could have faced the issues and either cured the situation or split up... and there is the lynch pin. Once you have opened the Pandora's box you cannot close it and life changing events happen... hence the reluctance to stop sweeping it under the carpet and possibly ruin what the other aspects of a good relationship.
If you have an OK life together and share the same outlook with a great friendship then that is a hard thing to break up but it took me to my mid-forties to find that you can have the above plus the incredible buzz that a healthy sex life brings to a relationship... it is the best and worth investing time to seek it out.
I'm now extremely lucky to be in a marriage where every aspect of love, humour and lust is satisfied with great regularity :twisted: and this was achieved by GT being very up front about his feelings for me, his ability to vocalise his aims for us. The fact that he so obviously loves me and desires me as much as I do him was a great encouragement for me to open up and find the real me... to which I owe him such a big debt of gratitude that I will spend the rest of my life trying to repay him.
You both are so young and you will be in your mid forties before you know it... it happens believe me! Find the courage to talk about your issues... go to a sex counsellor if need be. If your lady isn't prepared to face up to the issues that are so worrying you then do your self a favour... look your self in the eyes through a mirror and ask yourself if she is the 'love of your life'... the one that you would die for...
If she is then you are really stuck with a problem... if she isn't the love of your life then take a courage pill and get the heck out of that relationship and find the one that will fulfill you... If you don't then you are opting for second best and that will further corrode your relationship and it will break up when one of you will discover 'the one' eventually. I do realise that it is a selfish choice BUT... from what I understand you are not married and have no children... You owe it to yourself to find true happiness! :)
Sincere best wishes,
Wibbly
xx

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