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alspals
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 65
0 miles · South Yorkshire

Forum

Having endured another film of Mr Brosnan and his macho pouting...you just know he's got the smallest penis in the world..am I alone in thinking he just doesnt do the Bond thing hard nosed justice??
Now Connery..you just know he had a 10 inch chopper lol!!
Quote by mancbabe
On Channel 4 NOW......
Some yank doctor (has be a yank) THINKS he may have found the holy grail of female sexuality....THE ORGASMATRON...(I thought they sold it in Ann Summers rolleyes )
This is a device that can generate spontaneous orgasms at the touch of a button.... biggrin biggrin biggrin

..looks like a lot of fanny..to tickle yr fanny...but the ladies look happy enough surprised
Quote by Scandal
Be warned - practice safe sex - use a latex spray to cover your metalwork before sex (available at all good sex shops and DIY sheds)

Would WD-40 do it Mikey??
If you were in a threesome, I'd recommend 3in1. wink
v v funny Scandal, but wouldn't that be a foursome? lol lol
Quote by MikeyMann
Be warned - practice safe sex - use a latex spray to cover your metalwork before sex (available at all good sex shops and DIY sheds)

Would WD-40 do it Mikey??
Quote by Tania
alspals
Wait till you have tried being fisted by a person with arthritis! Talk about knuckles then!!! biggrin (Beat all ribbed condoms and piercings)

Oooer missus!!
..so sorry to hear of your woes Alex...as well as keeping a log, it would be really useful if you could get pictures or set up a camcorder if you have one, ready for when they're behaving badly..I guess courts love evidence like that because it's generally indisputable...anti social behavour is taken seriously now by the police and the council (assuming they're council tenants) as Blue says
I wouldn't be tempted to challenge them again tho..they sound like the sort of people that enjoy confrontation...just discreetly monitor them over the next couple of weeks, if you can last that long!
Good luck
Quote by Bloke2005
ROFLMAO :P 'Bum loving'.. BUM loving' - what the frig is bum loving? .. ah, that made me chuckle...
Bloke2005

me too ..you can almost imagine Barry White singing about it!! lol lol
..well I don't now whether to laugh lol or cry :cry:
You don't say which city you were staying in, but I can imagine in some large, anonymous cities the locals are wary of strangers making offers too good to be true..wouldn't have happened in Sheffield tho you guys!
It must have been very dispappointing for you having been brave enough to make the move in the first place to see him walk off into the night..BAH!!
Ps..I bet he didnt tell his mates he'd bottled it...he'll have been waxing lyrical to all & sundry about his 3 hour performance in your hotel room!
wow...well thanks for the links Tania and the schematics Piercedcouple & Tracy-Jayne...this is a whole new forum subject matter...and to think I used to get excited over ribbed condoms lol
Quote by freckledbird
Vinegar first, or it just washes the salt off
Bev
xx

ABSOLUTELY!!
And never put the salt & vinegar on if yr having them wrapped..it makes them stick to the paper!
..I have mine with a bread cake and a (proper) fish cake..on the side..does that satisfy the requirements of the Atkins Diet? sad
Quote by deancannock
chamone,
don't worry this is exactly the same I had.....you will get tomorrow or next day a seemingly univited email asking you to join a pay site. Its just a scam....there are a few in the ads section....thing is by time you get this reply you don't actually know which of the ads it was from. Just hit delete button.....as guys answering ads we have to realise that we only get lucky every now and again.....and that alot of people are simply after our address.

Yes..and me too!! I've had a similar one previously..it's very clever because it doesn't mention any paysites, so you think it's genuine..but the follow up comes later!! The give away I think is in the message subject, which invariably says something like 're your swingers ad/reply'..I've had these before and was suspect that it made no mention of SH specifically in the message title or text body..so they must be flooding the free sites with these mails
Quote by alspals
sheffield taxi drivers they must be some of the worst drivers in england

..surely not, you mean those suave, elegant, polite employees of such customer focussed institutions as xxxxx Cars, xxxxxx Taxis, xxxxcabs et al? lol
no naming and shaming on here.
apologises..thnx for editing
Quote by Santino
sheffield taxi drivers they must be some of the worst drivers in england

..surely not, you mean those suave, elegant, polite employees of such customer focussed institutions as xxxxx Cars, xxxxxx Taxis, xxxxcabs et al? lol
no naming and shaming on here.
Quote by Mandy_1964
My vertical clit hood piercing certainly seems to help.. particularly with oral.. never fails!!!!! wink

..forgive my ignorance, but what's a vertical clit hood? :shock:
exhibionist...and I so wanted to be 'Bondage Boi' cumming to a cinema near YOU!!
Quote by flapjackboy
we're forgetting though that this trial is in america and if you have money you can by your way out of terouble look at OJ enough said. chances are he'll get away with it

..not wishing to be controversial (who..me?!), but didn't the Feds get caught out fabricating and planting evidence in the OJ case...suddenly it then looks like the State have it in for a defendant and invariably they'll get off...think OJ had done in all his money by the time the trial came anyways smile
Same with Jacko now, he's skint, so it's going to be a fair trial as he can't afford to buy his way out this time.
aye I despite what I've said previously I hope yr right Flapjackboy, that he gets a fair trial and he doesn't buy his way out of it...let's hope that after this the closest he gets to kids is when he's serving burgers in a drive thro lol
Quote by ellietvslut
we're forgetting though that this trial is in america and if you have money you can by your way out of terouble look at OJ enough said. chances are he'll get away with it

..not wishing to be controversial (who..me?!), but didn't the Feds get caught out fabricating and planting evidence in the OJ case...suddenly it then looks like the State have it in for a defendant and invariably they'll get off...think OJ had done in all his money by the time the trial came anyways smile
Quote by JudyTV

Judy.............This is where I get really pissed off when people say that I am mad.

mad?? nahh..probably just a little happily unhinged...like the rest of us on here!
Quote by piercedJon
There was also one woman quoted in the sun as saying "I would have no problem with my child staying un chaperoned at jackos" errrrrm, excuse me.. but... as much as I like his music this is a guy charged with child molestation and pedophila i'd not let my lad anywhere near him.
Even if he is found not-guilty there is IMO enough circumstantial evidence to say this guy is not exactly living in the real world, and enough visual evidence through his surgery to say this guy has a serious mental problem and either way it is inappropriate for an adult to sleep with or in the presence of children in a non-sexual way that are not related through blood or relational ties and to see nothing wrong in doing so shows a complete lack of common sence at the very least.

like you, I dont mind the blokes music..but there has to be something more than a little strage about his behaviour...agree with yr comment 100% biggrin
Ps...I would also like to know why the parents complaining abt his behaviour havent been brought to book also...many of them let their own kids stay alone at Jacko's house (alledgedly)...would any person of sound mind allow their kids to sleep overnight at a strangers?? Dont think so
Quote by bluexxx
I just wanted to say that I hope you don't give this man any more power over you....you have informed the police so it's time to forget about it and move on.....I hope he DOES come forward and admit who gave him your details, because that is totally deplorable and very scary.....
Big hugs to you Libra.....

He is the one with the power and he knows it. In my view, this is the only logical reason he has not come forward.
confused
His power exists only in the vacuum of his own mind..it seems Libra has moved on now he has identified himself to her (well done Libra). His power over her has ended, as she is no longer fearful. She is reporting the matter to the police, the law will protect her and put a stop to any sinister motives from this guy, if he has any.
them...'ooh er, yr not what we expected!'
me..'is it cos I is black?' lol
anything with Pierce Brosnan in it...makes Roger Moore look like Olivier!
Ps..mind you..he is pretty!
Quote by Lil_Bunny
I hate being called babe
does my head in, especially when people I've never met call me that - in fact any "pet" names at all.

hahaha..I hate being called 'lad' or 'youth'..I'm 42 ffs!
Quote by freckledbird
Bloody Hell is it a Yorks. convention in here?

Yes I've always thought there seems to be a Yorkshire bias in the swinging ads and from contributors on here...but what does it mean?? Are we all sex starved nymphomaniacs in Yorkshire or do peeps from other areas just get on and do it quietly??!
Sorry, don't mean to get off thread redface
Quote by freckledbird
ooops that's not nice. Where in South Yorkshire are you?
Bev
xx

Hi freckledbird..I'm in Sheff..Full Monty's a speciality lol
Wwell I met up with an old school mate from via FR..he was a sound bloke at school. He arranged to visit us when he came north to see his parents and I spent the ensuing time convincing my wife that not all my mates were beer swilling, lazy drunks (like me!)..when he turned up he was all sharp suited and had an Italian sports car...I did too good a job on bulling him, because I caught him & my wife in the car park of the restaurant with his hand up her skirt and snogging each others faces off!!
I was a bit cheesed off to say the least but decided to put it down to drink and forgive them...well I had no choice in that matter..she ran off with him and lived happily ever after...wish I'd bullied the bugger at school now!!
Poor me :cry: lol
Quote by Tania
I think it is just a natural evolution from vaginal sex videos. People watch something for so long before they get bored with it so producers have to come up with more shocking things to keep their audience.

Yes I agree Tania, I guess we've all become 'battle hardened' by images of vanilla sex now porn is so easily available and anal is seen as a starting point rather than something exceptional. A fact that illustrates this point is the proliferation of internal cum shots (cream pies), which seems to be an essential part of any (female) porn stars kit bag..which to those of us growing up when AIDS first came to public attention seems the ultimate ...having said that this (thankfully) seems to have been knocked on the head following the recent HIV+ diagnosis of a famous porn star.