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burose
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 66

Forum

Did I send this to you already? I can't remember.
NEW VIRUS
Just got this in from a reliable source. It seems there is a virus called the "Senile Virus" that even the most advanced programs of Norton and McAfee cannot take care of it . so be warned. The virus appears to affect those of us who were born before 1960!

Symptoms of the Senile Virus:
1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice.
2. Causes you to send blank e-mail.
3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person.
4. Causes you to send e-mail back to the person who sent it to you.
5. Causes you to forget to attach attachments.
6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished the e-mail.
Remember???????????
I don't remember if I sent this one out.........
I don't think I did...or did you send it to me??
Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered:
1 I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2 My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3 I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
4 Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
5 Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
6 All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.
7 If all is not lost, where is it?
8 It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
9 Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
10. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
11. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
12. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
13. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
14. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
15 It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.
16. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
17. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
18. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
20. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
21. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
22. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.
23. I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED THIS TO YOU OR NOT!
24. Funny, I don't remember being . . . . . absent minded...
Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 8, maybe 10, oh, heck, just send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are. Then something is supposed to happen..I think. Maybe you get your memory back or something! I think...
rolleyes
ok, i`m realy, realy going now.
with no one to wave me off sniff
seeya next week, be good bolt
there was a young man called ice
that never before won a prize
so he put pen to paper
and then one week later
got pissed on vodka all night.

well done ice. :thumbup:
Quote by J3diMast3r
But, but ...
all you single guys, thanks but no thanks!!

... Nobody, loves us ... :cry: :cry: :cry:
lol
my mum loves me :happy:
Quote by Clare_Lincs
Right you lot,weve updated our ad and we'd like your opinions(well the good ones anyway!!)
Any constructive views would be very grateful,Thanks!!

if i could split myself in half & make a couple i`d reply. kiss
Quote by Alexandra
CLOVELLY!!!! GOLF!!!!!!
No Way
Clovelly is beautiful! (and that is an understatement)
But the village is all on a 45 degree slope down to the sea!
There is no way you can play golf in Clovelly!

hartland forest to be exact, set in 114 acres of woodland with its own 18 hole golf course.
ok i`m off to sunny devon ( clovelly ) in the morning to practice my golf swing for a week, well it`s the only bloody part of me that`s still swinging these days, so you`l be happy to hear i won`t be on the early shift this weekend posting my usual bollox, :huh:
so i will catch up with you all next week, you never know i might find a nice devonish type lady that fancies playing a round. :happy:
if not we can allways play golf. :sad:
seeya
bob xx
Quote by MikeNorth
jaw

well done that man :happy: your prize is on its way.
Quote by fem_manc-cpl
is the twinelike prize mine?????
can I have a green one please? lol

still one to go........sorry
Quote by fem_manc-cpl
arm
leg
hip
lip
toe
eye
ear
hip
gum
rib
do i win????? biggrin

nope you ad hip twise
there are ten parts of the human boddy that consist of three letters ie. arm....& leg, so what are the other eight ?
tit bum & ass. don`t count. :dry:
& yes a twinelike prize could be involved.
did`nt like to ask cos i`m a bit shy,but if there are any left......... redface :inlove:
i`ve only got a average willy, but i`ve got a very fast arse wink
does that put me above average dunno
Quote by award_38
But I always play nice. And thanks again for the lift home burose. And I promise not to be smug in the future. Now can I stop standing in the corner with my finger on my lips? rolleyes

you are forgiven my son biggrin
& i agree with leedsrob smile FFS
:thumbup:
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
Wine her,
Dine her,
Call her,
Hug her,
Support her,
Hold her,
Surprise her,
Compliment her,
Smile at her,
Listen to her,
Laugh with her,
Cry with her,
Romance her,
Encourage her,
Believe in her,
Pray with her,
Pray for her,
Cuddle with her,
Shop with her,
Give her jewelry,
Buy her flowers,
Hold her hand,
Write love letters to her,
Go to the end of the
Earth and back again for her --
HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked --
Bring food --
Don't block the TV
rolleyes
Quote by award_38
Not knowing about Miro!?! Surreal! :shock:

smug little shit.........next time you`l efin walk home ...lol
Quote by Redbird
Ok so now I've installed spybot which found 162 problems OMG. I also followed the advice of disabling the message thingy in the start menu. I have tried to install adware but the link is not working. But NOW my flipping mouse is having a mind of its own. It isn't moving about properly and won't click on things. Is this a separate problem? Help

just try rebooting red, if that don`t work set your puter back to yesterday ( if you are on xp ) then reinstall spybot.
Quote by juliett49
thats a bit unfair! Who the feck is bill and how did we know he had a rucksack??????
Jeez
confused

bills my cousin, you know, the one that likes hill walking,& all hill walkers have a rucksack silly. sheeeesh ! rolleyes
Quote by Naughty Nurse
did you like that one? I nearly wet myself when I read it and that really wouldn't have been funny
redface

i`m starting to think you`r as bloody daft as me! :silly:
:laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove: :laughabove:
Quote by Clare_Lincs

no you can`t have a fuck steve cos you don`t send lovely pm`s & read all clares threads like i do.
so can i have a fuck instead :thumbup:

Well actually he can get one whenever he likes wink
ok steve it worked, you`v now got it in writing, that`s a tenner you owe me :rascal: