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burose
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 66

Forum

Quote by juliett49
Oh noooooooo
That one was awful rolleyes

what do you expect for a sunday morning confused
A salesman rang the bell at a home, and the door was opened by a nine-year-old boy puffing on a long black cigar.
Hiding his amazement, the salesman asked the young man, "Is your mother home?"
The boy took the cigar out of his mouth, flicked ashes on the carpet, and asked, "What do you think?"
another bad one for the naughty nurse
The doctor examines the patient with 60% burns and says to the nurse "give this man a double dose of Viagra"
The nurse says "will that help the burns doctor"
"No" says the doc "but it will keep the sheet off his legs"
:giggle:
Quote by Steve_Lincs
Yesterday i recieved the lovliest pm i think ive ever had since ive been on here.

So you didnt like the one i sent you asking for a good fuck?????
no you can`t have a fuck steve cos you don`t send lovely pm`s & read all clares threads like i do.
so can i have a fuck instead :thumbup:
THE Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer.
After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said,
"Who owns the big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do. Why?"
The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!"
The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion.
The Lone Ranger got him some water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better.
The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."
Tonto said, "Sure Kemosabe", and took off running circles around Silver.
Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink.
A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and announces, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"
The Lone Ranger stands again and claims, "I do. What's wrong with him this time?"
The cowboy says to him, "Nothing much, I just wanted you to know -
you left your Injun running
loon start the day with a bad joke.
just ad a look
1, captain beefheart & his magic band- trouts mask replica
2, led zep- volume three
3, sandy denny- like an old fashioned waltz.
:karaoke:
the one that does my head in, is the one on itv2 that says i`ve got the right, i`ve got the right.
well feck off & buy your fecking council house then.
oh i do feel better for that. :smug:
Quote by VenusnMars
Oh, I`d forgotten! I posted straight afterward too!
burose, no need to feel bad, you knew all the time right? wink
Venusxxx

of course i did. cough cough. :smile2:
Quote by RSAB2
Babes.
Oh I love games :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
Mrs RSAB2 xxx :angel:

actually it was our bill`s ruck sack in the corner but that`s close enough.
ok it`s your go! :bounce:
Quote by VenusnMars
Not as yet, but he`s unlikely to be on until Monday at the earliest, he`s recuperating from an op. smile
Venusxxx

now you`r just trying to make me feel bad. redface
hope the op was a success warwick. :gagged:
Quote by Ice Pie
My unPM is still not sitting in my non-existent outbox, where it has not been all day.

lol ice :giggle:
Quote by VenusnMars
Yep, she`d do that! lol
I`ve been PMing friends all night.............
I`m just so goddamned popular! :smug:
Venusxxx

but have you managed to get through to warwick ? dunno
Quote by TruckDogger
I ve heard a few stories about the layby on the A43..Can anyone tell what layby is for the couples ? Ive been there several times in my truck and all i seem to see is gays. Would love to see a couple as this would be a great experience. Am gonna be there on Monday night as i will be unloading in the area. Would love to discreelty watch a couple and maybe if given the nod then join in.. Dave

unloading in the area ?
that should be a sight to see! :eeek:
does warwick ever read his pm`s, i sent it ages ago & it`s still in my outbox sad
does warwick realy exist confused:
i think alexandra as set up another account on sh under the name of warwick in a cunning ploy to to get all the pm`s for herself. :twisted: hehehehe
:dry:
yep.
the sun will rise in the morning, then go down again at night.
with stuff apening in the middle :huh:
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."
:giggle:
> One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal
> cried piteously
> for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
> Finally, he decided
> the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up
> anyway; it just
> wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his
> neighbors to
> come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began
> to shovel dirt
> into the well.
>
> At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried
> horribly. Then,
> to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the
> farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at
> what he saw. With
> each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something
> amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.
>
> As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of
> the animal, he
> would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone
> was amazed as
> the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily
> trotted off!
>
> Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to
> getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step
> up. Each of our
> troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest
> wells just by
> not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.
>
> Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
>
> 1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
>
> 2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
>
> 3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
>
> 4. Give more.
>
> 5. Expect less
>
> NOW -------- Enough of that crap . . .
>
> The donkey later came back and bit the shit out of the farmer
> who had tried
> to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the
> farmer eventually
> died in agony from septic shock.
>
> MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON: When you do something wrong, and
> try to cover
> your ass, it always comes back to bite you. loon
The meaning of life!
I made the grueling trek to speak to the wise old man who lives at the
top of the mountain and asked of him, "What is the meaning of life?" worship
And the wise old man spoke thusly :
"Life is all about ass...either you are covering it, kicking it, kissing it, or trying to get it."
:moon:
by the way, what the feck is miro when it`s at home
:confused:
well thats it then, :undecided: that`s the last time i do someone a favour, if as soon as my back`s turned you start talking about miro without me. :wary:
thats funny , i don`t remember talking about miro............i must have been sha............
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
hi tatty, how are you, i was just wondering if..............oh sod it......never mind. bolt
lol redbird, but that`s only cos your a good girl & you listened to mummy when she told you never to talk with your mouth full. :giggle: & silky thanks for a great reply to what was just a tongue in cheek post. passionkiss
If men had a pussy for a day
If men had a pussy for a day they would:
1. wonder what the little pink button next to it does.
2. lie in bed all morning with a hand mirror.
3. get up and go shopping for cucumbers.
4. go to church and pray for breasts aswell.
5. secretly worry about whether it was bigger than everybody elses.
6. lie in bed all afternoon with a video camera.
7. finally find that damn g spot that all the fuss is about.
8. get picked up in a bar without even trying.
9. have an orgasm, then have another one without needing a nap first.
10. repeat number 9.
If women had a cock for a day
if women had a cock for a day they would:
1. measure it to see whether that really is 6 inches.
2. pee standing up without even trying to hit the toilet.
3. get a blow job.
4. fall asleep without saying thanks.
5. wake up.
6. repeat number 3.
number 3.
8. repeat number 3.
9. repeat number 3.
10. repeat number 3.