Quote by Tania
And you CAN pee whilst aroused. My ex used to go for a wee whilst maintaining a perfect erection.
You didn't have a yellow ceiling in the toilet by any chance, did you?!!!
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
littlemee
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 60
UK
Forum
Orgasminator
Quote by littlemee
I think that 'Bad Oral Sex' just doesn't exist as an entity.
There is only 'Good Oral Sex' & every other rating up to 'Blow The Top Off Your Head Oral Sex' but never 'Bad Oral Sex'.
Am I right or am I just oblivious into what some people can have the ability to actually fuck up?!!!
Quote by Serendipity
Bad oral sex exists....simply put, if someone does something you dislike it can be less than pleasant, but everyones idea of good oral sex can differ.
I think I wasn't explanatory enough in my original post.
I should of expanded by adding that anyone doing something that their partner doesn't seem to be enjoying should obviously amend their technique or change what they are doing to try something else that may be more pleasurable for the recipient.
As far as oral is concerned, and speaking as a bloke, it is relatively straight forward to read if a lady is or isn't enjoying what you are doing (unless she wants to fool you of course with faked pleasure!!!) As there are so many different methods of giving pleasure with your tongue & lips it seems inexcusable that a man can be so pig-ignorant to blindly blunder on, doing what he's doing while the woman is simply getting bored or uncomfortable with the whole thing.
Now I would never profess to be an expert at pleasuring a woman orally, as many blokes seem to do, as what one lady may love the next may think is a waste of time. But I would make it my duty to ensure I realised this as quickly as possible and went on to try a different technique unti l found something that tickled her fancy.
And ooooo isn't it fun trying to find that?!!!
Orgasminator
Quote by ockysweeties
as for giving oral - to men, as a teen, even before I gave my first one, I was always always afraid I'd be horrible, so I read/watched everything I could on the subject...
Quote by Maia
He he.. so did I... Do you remember that book called Lace? It was made into a series with Phoebe Cates in it..... That book was my sex manual!!!!
Don't you just love women who take giving pleasure so seriously.
If I had been lucky enough to know you in your teens I would have made you practice & practice until you were really confident that you were doing it properly!!!
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: Orgasminator
I've been flicking through some old threads to be able to tell this to the whole Cafe because I feel a bit like Vix did...
I've not achieved the dizzy heights of a 3-some but as a single male I have confounded the odds and had the very great fortune of meeting a lovely lady for some gorgeous chocolate cake!!! :lickface:
What more could a man ask for?!!!
To achieve this meeting though took years of dedication & sacrifice so I suggest that all the other single blokes give up trying now and look for their fun elsewhere, you'll find nothing you're looking for here. :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
PS The cake was gorgeous.
Thank you much.
Quote by Vix
So what if he is bragging?! After my first threesome, I was grinning like a Cheshire cat for weeks and just had to tell everyone!
We weren't on SH back then, but blimey... if I was...
As it was, I phoned everyone I knew would be understanding. I told my entire village. All I could do not to put a notice in the press.
Come on! You must remember how good it was to lose your virginity again!
I've not achieved the dizzy heights of a 3-some but as a single male I have confounded the odds and had the very great fortune of meeting a lovely lady for some gorgeous chocolate cake!!! :lickface:
What more could a man ask for?!!!
To achieve this meeting though took years of dedication & sacrifice so I suggest that all the other single blokes give up trying now and look for their fun elsewhere, you'll find nothing you're looking for here.
:rotflmao: :rotflmao:PS The cake was gorgeous.
Thank you much.
Orgasminator
Quote by KitKat
My advice would be to leave your books at home, put your own fantasies on the back burner, and concentrate on discovering what your wife's fantasies are.
You say that you talk jokingly about a MMF threesome, when you talk about this fantasy, do you both get horny? - Assuming you do, does your wife get turned on by the fantasy, or by the fact that the fantasy turns you on?
If she enjoys giving herself an orgasm, either with her fingers or toys, ask her what she thinks about while she does it.
lhk
Kat
I think this is really useful advice.
Taking some time in finding & exploring your WIFE'S fantasies rather than your own MAY lead you into areas that coincide with YOUR fantasies.
If it doesn't then it doesn't and you just have to accept it that wifey only wants YOU.
What a bummer, eh? (Damn, I thought there was a 'sarcasm' emoticon!!!)
Maybe not pushing her so hard or so often on the subject may be beneficial as well.
Whatever happens I hope you AND your wife enjoy whatever your future holds. :thumbup:
Orgasminator
Quote by DreamerHelen
I've received bad oral sex when I was a lot younger, he thought that going down there and giving it a quick lick across the lips was enough.....it most definitely wasn't enough!!!!
I was trying to forget about the unsuccessful fumblings of youthful inexperience.
I think we could ALL admit to making some mistakes in this period of our lives or should I shut up now for fear of digging myself into an in-escapable hole?!!!
Orgasminator
If new and old partners are both from SH, or at least aware of it, then surely they know what you might have been up to so how much harm can your e-mails cause when sent to your new partner?
Sorry, that's a bit of a mouthful as far as sentence lengths are concerned!!!
Either way, trying to cause problems for an ex partner cannot be condoned so I hope they butt out and leave you to enjoy life.
Maybe you meant more to them than you thought you did?
Hope things sort out OK for you.
Sorry, that's a bit of a mouthful as far as sentence lengths are concerned!!!
Either way, trying to cause problems for an ex partner cannot be condoned so I hope they butt out and leave you to enjoy life.
Maybe you meant more to them than you thought you did?
Hope things sort out OK for you.
Orgasminator
Could I ask if anyone (male or female) has ever experienced being on the receiving end of 'Bad Oral Sex'?
And if so, what went wrong?
I ask this because I haven't and I would truly like to think I haven't inflicted it upon any ladies either
I think that 'Bad Oral Sex' just doesn't exist as an entity.
There is only 'Good Oral Sex' & every other rating up to 'Blow The Top Off Your Head Oral Sex' but never 'Bad Oral Sex'.
Am I right or am I just oblivious into what some people can have the ability to actually fuck up?!!!
And if so, what went wrong?
I ask this because I haven't and I would truly like to think I haven't inflicted it upon any ladies either
I think that 'Bad Oral Sex' just doesn't exist as an entity.
There is only 'Good Oral Sex' & every other rating up to 'Blow The Top Off Your Head Oral Sex' but never 'Bad Oral Sex'.
Am I right or am I just oblivious into what some people can have the ability to actually fuck up?!!!
Orgasminator
I've just seen a shite programme on BBC2 about a poll they had for the Sexiest Food and the results were......
10 ice cream
9 champagne & caviar
8 strawberries in melted chocolate (urgh!) - apparently this is really popular in Scotland!!!
7 chocolate mousse - one of my favourites
6 oysters - Melinda Messenger was on this programme eating an oyster but gagged and had to spit it out!!!
Made me think of the obvious though.......!!!!!
5 prawns (???!!!)
4 smoked salmon
3 asparagus (???!!!)
2 chocolate
1 strawberries & cream
Personally, strawberries & a little ice cream with champagne is the tops.
Sweet, juicy, nibbling, cold, runny, licking, bubbles, alcohol.....what could be sexier?
10 ice cream
9 champagne & caviar
8 strawberries in melted chocolate (urgh!) - apparently this is really popular in Scotland!!!
7 chocolate mousse - one of my favourites
6 oysters - Melinda Messenger was on this programme eating an oyster but gagged and had to spit it out!!!
Made me think of the obvious though.......!!!!!
5 prawns (???!!!)
4 smoked salmon
3 asparagus (???!!!)
2 chocolate
1 strawberries & cream
Personally, strawberries & a little ice cream with champagne is the tops.
Sweet, juicy, nibbling, cold, runny, licking, bubbles, alcohol.....what could be sexier?
Orgasminator
Quote by ms_naughty
A joy stick of any size is still a joy stick !
Could I just say ms_naughty that comments like this keep my oh-so fragile self-esteem issues under some sort of control. The warm glow of a little self-confidence is a wonderous thing and being reminded that there are ladies around with this opinion is very reassuring.
Would you like to whisper these words to me on a regular basis?
Orgasminator
Quote by Sarah1448
Oiii
Dambuster and MrsGHC behave yourselves, just because you seem to think it is very funny, that I had a close call with one of my neighbours this week.
A bit too close for comfort :shock:
I'm not clever enough to find any posts about Sarah1448's close call with the neighbours (assuming there is one) so could you please elucidate for the pleasure of nosey gits like me?
Orgasminator
Quote by sheffieldfun4two
What an embarassing night dogging in xxxxx , Sheffield last nght!
Turned up 10 ish and we spotted the usual in our usual spot, climbed in to the back. "A" stripped me down tomy hold-ups and stilettos and we started our little show.
Seven or eight guys gathered. "A" opened the door and invited some touching. Was fingered by a couple of guys and I wanked three off. One guy got in with us and fucked me. As he was hard at it, I noticed our next door neighbour watching in the crowd!!!! He had a huge grin on his face!
I have no idea what I'll say to him when I next see him!
I've just been chatting with someone about embarrassing things with neighbours and I remembered this post.
Any updates sheffieldfun4two?
What did you say when you saw him next?
Who was more embarrassed, him or you?
Or has he already booked his spot for your next show?
Orgasminator
Quote by lilacgem
I couldn't get the movie to play but if I dragged the bottom arrow along the timer bar it played!!!??? Weird. Something not downloading properly I guess.
If you want to see the film lilacgem you can gladly pop round to mine & I'll play it for you
BUT could I request you wear the same attire and watch it in a similar position to your avatar?!!! :shock: The stone tiles on the kitchen floor where the PC is might be cold & hard on your knees though!!! But don't worry, it's only a short film!!!
May I now apologise for this gratuitous request which I realise is purely for my own self-gratification but it's early in the morning and lilacgem's image was just too much for me.
Orgasminator
Quote by AlexClaireSX
Best car we had for that was my '77 Buick It had a bench seat so your passenger could get real close and do the 'naughties'
No centre console, gear lever or handbrake!!!!!
Alas it rotted away.....and the car as well!!!!!! lol
Alex DJ
I used to have an ex-London Evening Standard delivery van. A Sherpa with sliding doors which you could lock open while you were driving.
This was a few years ago (late 80's) but the g/f of the time used to love giving me a BJ as we drove along motorways or dual carriage-ways with the doors open!!! :shock:
Not sure how much other drivers ever saw 'cos they were probably going passed us too quick 'cos this van only did about 60 max!!!
Orgasminator
Quote by jezzay
I don't know how to behave!!! I have a second date tomorrow night with someone from a 'straight' dating site and he's really nice and I no longer know what to do. I can't say 'Let's go back to mine' etc etc. I can't tell him whatever he wants to do in the bedroom is fine by me. I have to be proper.
Do I?
How long do I have to be 'proper'?
When do I tell him about SH?
Can I ever go back to the vanilla world?
Jezzay.
Why not just enjoy your date and let him make the pace?
It's only the 2nd date so wait 'til you know him better to help you decide when to tell him about your SH secrets.
There's no rush is there?
Orgasminator
Quote by Vicky_uk
Not only do I get emails telling me I can have a penis extension :shock: :shock:
Easy ways to remove nasal and ear hair
Tonight I got an email which read as follows
Vicky : eliminate baldness in 30 secs :shock:
Is it just me or do other fems get annoyed after a while ?
Don't get annoyed, forward them to me. I could use all of these!!!
Orgasminator
Quote by gingerjo-lee
thanks for turning up boys
but why stand at the back of the bedroom wanking and not playing
oh well looks like i will have to invite guys next time who will play i was left gagging on the bed
thanks jo xxx
Being a shy & naive kind of a guy who hasn't frequented a gingerjo/lee party I can only imagine the scene but all I can say is
for all those guys leaving a lady feeling this way.They should be ashamed of themselves.
Orgasminator
Quote by Katien_n_John
Oh well more :cheers: :beer:
while we still can. :twisted:
xx J
I second that :cheers:
I have a question though....
I've just perused your advert, and may I say what an informative & expressive ad it is, very well crafted, BUT it says you hit 40 a few years ago!!!
Quote by Katien_n_John
Not sure what nature has in store for us when we hit 40, with hair migrating to facial extremities, but the signs are not good lol
Is someone telling porkies?!!!
Orgasminator
Lots of people seem to be saving their energy for the Leicester mini-munch!
These things must really take it out of you? :sleeping:
What do you guys get up to at these things that is so exhausting???!!!
Just for the record I'm having an early night & I'm not going to Leicester tomorrow. I'm just a boring old git.
I might stay up to pluck my nose hair & shave my ears (the things a guy my age has to do to stay looking good!!!)
These things must really take it out of you? :sleeping:
What do you guys get up to at these things that is so exhausting???!!!
Just for the record I'm having an early night & I'm not going to Leicester tomorrow. I'm just a boring old git.
I might stay up to pluck my nose hair & shave my ears (the things a guy my age has to do to stay looking good!!!)
