)See you Saturday.... and don't forget it's a TRIPLE vodka and coke
maz xxx
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maz
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 54
0 miles · England
Forum
Lol Alex... this brought back memories...... 
When I was about 17 my two friends and I used to take it in turns to drive the 15 or so miles into town for a few glasses of lemonade
On one occasion my friend called in for petrol on the way... when she returned to the car and started the engine she had a panic attack because a red light was illuminated on the dash....
We all head into the garage and persuade the man to let us use the phone (pre mobile phone days and no payphone
) ring afore mentioned friends Dad who in turn calls his mate.. a mechanic..
Half an hour later we are causing chaos.. her car is still blocking up access to one of the pumps... Dad arrives in his car...mechanic arrives in his van.....
And yep you guessed it ..... it was the handbrake light
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: all round
maz xxx
When I was about 17 my two friends and I used to take it in turns to drive the 15 or so miles into town for a few glasses of lemonade
On one occasion my friend called in for petrol on the way... when she returned to the car and started the engine she had a panic attack because a red light was illuminated on the dash....
We all head into the garage and persuade the man to let us use the phone (pre mobile phone days and no payphone
) ring afore mentioned friends Dad who in turn calls his mate.. a mechanic..Half an hour later we are causing chaos.. her car is still blocking up access to one of the pumps... Dad arrives in his car...mechanic arrives in his van.....
And yep you guessed it ..... it was the handbrake light
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: all roundmaz xxx
)Mmmmmmm being able to shag a Mod...... right... well seeing as I've worked my way through a few of the Chatroom ones (past and present) I'll start in the Forum.....
I'll take............... mal, no steveg, no mal, no Sarge, no steveg, no mal.....
Quick mal... have me before I change my mind... again :lol: :lol:
maz xxx
I'll start in the Forum.....I'll take............... mal, no steveg, no mal, no Sarge, no steveg, no mal.....
Quick mal... have me before I change my mind... again
:lol: :lol: maz xxx
Hijack on....
You can always tell when it's half term........
JudyTV has to check the Forum 24/7 cos she never knows when or where maz is gonna take the p*ss next.......
Clue Judy..... Check Let's Meet Up
maz xxx (Off to get ready to party tomorrow.... thats if Judy's still my friend)
Hijack over
You can always tell when it's half term........
JudyTV has to check the Forum 24/7 cos she never knows when or where maz is gonna take the p*ss next.......
Clue Judy..... Check Let's Meet Up
maz xxx (Off to get ready to party tomorrow.... thats if Judy's still my friend)
Hijack over
Speaking as someone who has met both you (JudyTV) and your alter ego and having shared accomodation on numerous occasions I can definately say that you are an absolute.......
FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
See you tomorrow hunni
maz xxx
FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: See you tomorrow hunni
maz xxx
Dave_Notts ...... a few points to draw your attention to......
1) Why does my name keep slipping down the list? (Hope I'm not slipping down your list too.... )
2) Where is my PM?
:evil: :evil: (Am gonna have to start sending threatening texts)
3) Will you still pretend to be my Dad and call in work sick for me the day after? :wink:
Cheers luv....
Ohhhhhh and BUMP !!!!!!!!!!!
maz xxx
1) Why does my name keep slipping down the list? (Hope I'm not slipping down your list too....
)2) Where is my PM?
:evil: :evil: (Am gonna have to start sending threatening texts)3) Will you still pretend to be my Dad and call in work sick for me the day after? :wink:
Cheers luv....
Ohhhhhh and BUMP !!!!!!!!!!!
maz xxx
I have a black scorpion tattooed on my backside.... maybe you could have a starsign emblem as your new tattoo.. just done in plain black looks classy.
Whatever your choice make it personal to you... not just pick off a wall covered in designs found in most tattoo parlours. I had mine not because I'm a Scorpio (I'm actually a Capricorn) but to remind people that although I may appear nice and sweet on the outside...mess with me and there's a sting in the tail (Look out people this girl means business)
maz xxx (Looking for her first victim)
Whatever your choice make it personal to you... not just pick off a wall covered in designs found in most tattoo parlours. I had mine not because I'm a Scorpio (I'm actually a Capricorn) but to remind people that although I may appear nice and sweet on the outside...mess with me and there's a sting in the tail
(Look out people this girl means business)maz xxx (Looking for her first victim)
Hmmmmm this one seems to have passed me by..... I might have mentioned attending in a PM to you but alas I have had a sort out of my PM boxes so not sure if I did or not
Please could you stick my name on the list if thats ok.
Cheers Clare and Steve (Brill munch organisers that you are grovel grovel xxx)
maz xxx
Please could you stick my name on the list if thats ok.
Cheers Clare and Steve (Brill munch organisers that you are grovel grovel xxx)
maz xxx
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: That pales my outdoor sex antics story into insignificance!
Dave_Notts you must have the patience of a Saint
xxxxxmaz xxx (getting ready to be WALLOPED by Alex_Female, Marya and Freckledbird)
Thanks for that tip Sgt Bilko! Much obliged
Will probably have to turn to the RAC or Green Flag now as no doubt the AA will be cancelling my membership due to my early morning antics dragging one of their guys out of bed (bet they had to pay the miserable bugger double time)
Maybe I should start a poll... who have the fittest roadside assistance drivers.. Green Flag or the RAC???..... now where's Jiggle when you need him ? :lol: :lol:
maz xxx (Off to clean her boots..... for the 3rd time grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr )
Will probably have to turn to the RAC or Green Flag now as no doubt the AA will be cancelling my membership due to my early morning antics dragging one of their guys out of bed (bet they had to pay the miserable bugger double time)
Maybe I should start a poll... who have the fittest roadside assistance drivers.. Green Flag or the RAC???..... now where's Jiggle when you need him ?
:lol: :lol: maz xxx (Off to clean her boots..... for the 3rd time grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
) For all my friends in the chatroom who I take the p*ss out of each and every night here is chance for your revenge... you can take the p*ss out of me over this now
I've never seen the need for outdoor sex.... I 've never really had the need to do it... having moved out of home at 17 and having my own place for the last 16 years I'm of the belief that if you have a nice warm house/bed/sofa etc why feel the need to go to a field or country lane to indulge in the back of a car?
However last night I was persuaded to indulge and all I can say is NEVER AGAIN!!!!!
The story.... at about 1am this morning I was in the chatroom just about to say goodnight when a friend appeared online, we quickly established that we were both in... let's say... need :wink: so I offered to drive to pick him up as he'd had a few drinks.
This is where it all goes drastically wrong... firstly I drive out to an unknown location about an hour away as I have never actually been to his house before, just as I am driving onto his estate I had been instructed to call him to get the final details of where he lives, just as I do this a police car pulls up alongside and the officers want to know where I am going at in the morning looking particularly lost.... luckily I am closely related to Pinocchio and managed to spin them a yarn about picking up my boyfriend from a mates house I'd never been to..... they let me get on my way satisfied with this.
I then pick up my friend and we go for a drive as he can't accomodate... we go down a country lane and he directs me to turn into a field and down a muddy track... despite my protests he assures me that all is ok as "I brought the dog down here today and it isn't that muddy!" so I continue down the track where my car gets absolutely stuck ....the front wheels are spinning with no traction and the front bumper is well and truly wedged
After trying to push it out in numerous ways:
a) him pushing me revving
b) me pushing him revving
c) both pushing no revving
I decide to call the AA who said they would come and pull us out, I pass on all my details... registration, contact number, nature of the problem etc then comes the killer question: "Could you give me your exact location?"
Me: "Errrr we're in XXXXXXXXXXX"
Operator "What road name?"
Me "Errrr not sure... it's a lane near a 90 degree bend" :? :? :?
Operator "Is is an A road or a B road?"
Me "Must be off a B road" (looking at the track we were on I'm thinking this is a Z road)
Operator "Ok we'll keep in touch by phone"
An hour later the AA guy arrives and proceeds to winch us out ... cost £40 as I hadn't ACTUALLY broken down :evil: also he's giving me the knowing I know what YOU'VE been upto look
My car now looks as though I've been off road rallying and the inside footwells are caked in mud, my brand new £60 boots look like they have been worn everyday on a pig farm and never been cleaned for a year and in the end... I never got any sex!!!!!! :evil:
So outdoor sex???!?!?!?!?!?!?! You can stick it ... I'll pass
By the way Steve..... it was a great night... I've never laughed so much in my whole life... hilarious :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
maz xxxxx (waiting for the p*ss take to begin)
I've never seen the need for outdoor sex.... I 've never really had the need to do it... having moved out of home at 17 and having my own place for the last 16 years I'm of the belief that if you have a nice warm house/bed/sofa etc why feel the need to go to a field or country lane to indulge in the back of a car?
However last night I was persuaded to indulge and all I can say is NEVER AGAIN!!!!!
The story.... at about 1am this morning I was in the chatroom just about to say goodnight when a friend appeared online, we quickly established that we were both in... let's say... need :wink: so I offered to drive to pick him up as he'd had a few drinks.
This is where it all goes drastically wrong... firstly I drive out to an unknown location about an hour away as I have never actually been to his house before, just as I am driving onto his estate I had been instructed to call him to get the final details of where he lives, just as I do this a police car pulls up alongside and the officers want to know where I am going at in the morning looking particularly lost.... luckily I am closely related to Pinocchio and managed to spin them a yarn about picking up my boyfriend from a mates house I'd never been to..... they let me get on my way satisfied with this.
I then pick up my friend and we go for a drive as he can't accomodate... we go down a country lane and he directs me to turn into a field and down a muddy track... despite my protests he assures me that all is ok as "I brought the dog down here today and it isn't that muddy!" so I continue down the track where my car gets absolutely stuck ....the front wheels are spinning with no traction and the front bumper is well and truly wedged
After trying to push it out in numerous ways:
a) him pushing me revving
b) me pushing him revving
c) both pushing no revving
I decide to call the AA who said they would come and pull us out, I pass on all my details... registration, contact number, nature of the problem etc then comes the killer question: "Could you give me your exact location?"
Me: "Errrr we're in XXXXXXXXXXX"
Operator "What road name?"
Me "Errrr not sure... it's a lane near a 90 degree bend" :? :? :?
Operator "Is is an A road or a B road?"
Me "Must be off a B road" (looking at the track we were on I'm thinking this is a Z road)
Operator "Ok we'll keep in touch by phone"
An hour later the AA guy arrives and proceeds to winch us out ... cost £40 as I hadn't ACTUALLY broken down :evil: also he's giving me the knowing I know what YOU'VE been upto look
My car now looks as though I've been off road rallying and the inside footwells are caked in mud, my brand new £60 boots look like they have been worn everyday on a pig farm and never been cleaned for a year and in the end... I never got any sex!!!!!! :evil:
So outdoor sex???!?!?!?!?!?!?! You can stick it ... I'll pass
By the way Steve..... it was a great night... I've never laughed so much in my whole life... hilarious :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
maz xxxxx (waiting for the p*ss take to begin)
Well....... let me think......
Did I have fun at the last Crewe party?!?!?! Hmmmmmm YES !!!!!!!
Is it my scene?!?!?!?!?! Hmmmmmmm... well not my usual one but hey.. what the hell!!!!!
PURLEASE can I have an invite Vicky and Al ?
maz xxxxxx
(Thank you for the last one by the way..... forgot to write in the Thank you thread )
Did I have fun at the last Crewe party?!?!?! Hmmmmmm YES !!!!!!!
Is it my scene?!?!?!?!?! Hmmmmmmm... well not my usual one but hey.. what the hell!!!!!
PURLEASE can I have an invite Vicky and Al ?
maz xxxxxx
(Thank you for the last one by the way..... forgot to write in the Thank you thread
) lil_miz_naughty it didn't hurt when I had my tattoo done although I did pick an area which is well padded ( my arse :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ) apparently the closer to the bone the more they hurt
As for the beard..... a weekly coating of Nair usually does the trick
maz xxx (Adores tattoos on blokes...... infact rather likes licking them :wink: )
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ) apparently the closer to the bone the more they hurt As for the beard..... a weekly coating of Nair usually does the trick
maz xxx (Adores tattoos on blokes...... infact rather likes licking them :wink: )
Judy....... you don't believe in Santa anyway!!!!!!
You don't like this time of the year, you have beef instead of turkey for Christmas dinner, haven't sent one card (not even to me) and prob have cheap (not exclusive) tinsel
It's me who should be gutted by these ridiculous rumours about the facts that Santa can not theoretically exist :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
maz xxxxx (Off to consult a lawyer for human rights..... Santa does exist !!!!!!!!)
You don't like this time of the year, you have beef instead of turkey for Christmas dinner, haven't sent one card (not even to me) and prob have cheap (not exclusive) tinsel
It's me who should be gutted by these ridiculous rumours about the facts that Santa can not theoretically exist :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
maz xxxxx (Off to consult a lawyer for human rights..... Santa does exist !!!!!!!!)
No No No.... it's UNION Street!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How many times have I told you???!!!!!!!!!
You should try the Navy on the Barbican....... there's a few ships in for Chrimbo... you might strike lucky and get a Russian sailor or two
Have a brill time and give the matelots a snog from me too.
maz xxx
How many times have I told you???!!!!!!!!!
You should try the Navy on the Barbican....... there's a few ships in for Chrimbo... you might strike lucky and get a Russian sailor or two
Have a brill time and give the matelots a snog from me too.
maz xxx
Woohoo a party near to me!!!!!
Count me in Vicky hun if thats ok..... I will probably drive or get a taxi home so that means a few people will be able to stay over at mine to save spending money on a B+B... I make a mean full English (allegedly!) Give us a yell if you need any help on the day and I could just nip over to help you set up.
maz xxx
Count me in Vicky hun if thats ok..... I will probably drive or get a taxi home so that means a few people will be able to stay over at mine to save spending money on a B+B... I make a mean full English (allegedly!) Give us a yell if you need any help on the day and I could just nip over to help you set up.
maz xxx
