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postie
1 month ago
Straight Male, 58
0 miles · Buntingford
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postie
Sex God
You are not really going to get anyone coming on here, and saying, "yep... he's a minger". Unless they want to be cruel. So, half of the reason for the post is pointless.
As I am sure you are aware, there are more males around than females. So you are bound to have more interest shown to you as a 19 year old bi-fem than your bloke. Besides he is very young at only 22 and it may not be his face putting people off it may very well be his immaturity or demenour while in the club. Basically this is just a " I can't get a shag" post, written by the girlfirend on behalf of the fella.
Anything I have said above, please don't take personally. I have no view on wether or not your boyfriend is good looking. He just looks like a bloke to me...
And Steph's advice is top-notch, I suggest you take her advice regarding the email thing. biggrin
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postie
Sex God
Quote by PrincessSwallows
Hmmm I swallow if you ask me nicley! biggrin

Pretty please...... with a cherry on top! :D
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postie
Sex God
If you are shy, then you are shy, but it doesn't mean that has to stop you doing anything. You wouldn't believe the amount of people on here, who online appear very confident, and then in real life are very shy.
Only advice I can really give you is that if you realise that at least half of the people you are likely to chat up, are probably equally as shy of doing it themselves, it gives you a level playing field. Be honest about it, say you are a bit nervous, turn what you see as some kind of obstacle into something that works for you. Lasses love sensitive guys !!!
Failing that, buy them chocolate. biggrin
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postie
Sex God
Quote by Bi-Guy-Notts
I'm guessing that it does refer to a BJ passed on as you say steve, and also person 1 giving BJ to person 2 then passing it on to person 3... I've also heard it refered to in a drug context.
Thank god he didnt ask about a rainbow kiss as it would be bloody hard to explain that one :shock:

rite you asked for it jon
whats rainbow kiss lol
It's where you kiss a big brown bear while a pink hippo looks on and Zippy takes the piss out of your performance...
( actually I don't know....hope someone else says though)
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postie
Sex God
Quote by northwest-cpl
Just as he thought it was safe to go back on the round ...

Bloody Hell.... that just before bedtime? I am going to have nightmares :shock:
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postie
Sex God
Depends if you want a twin engined model plane (this makes sense in the model airplane thread!)
Are the Proclaimers rubbish?
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postie
Sex God
Quote by awol
(and AWOL, shouldn't their be a ' after Ad', to show that it's been shortened... and not the time after Jesus was pinned up? )

Should there be an apostrophe after ad? No I don't think it's needed. But hey I might be wrong... is there a SH Espeling and Grandma Committee here? dunno
You started the ball rolling on this issue Awol - hope you're not complaining because someone else pointed out your mistake? lol
was there a mistake? the word ad has become a noun on its own as far as I know. So no mistake there and you can relax I'm not complaining ;) but you (and anyone else) are most welcome to correct me anytime. I like learning new things every day.
I didn't correct you. Technically I suppose there should be a . after ad. but I'm inclined to agree with you that it's become a word in its own right.
biggrin
Thank you for agreeing freckledbird. I know you didn't correct me. I was just trying to reply to postie's "correction" because I found it funny he "corrected" me and at the same time he confused his "their" and "there".... but please let's stop that or people might think that I'm applying to joing the Spelling and Grammar Committee! :D
:doh:
I WASN'T correcting anyone's spelling or grammar. ( I'm not allowed to anymore...) It was just a comment. Nothing more... and yep, I was a total numpty for putting the wrong "there" in. No offence meant Awol. I honestly thought you had to put an apostrophe in if you have shortened a word, such as 'phone. Hopefully the adder joke at the beginning shows i wasn't being serious.
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postie
Sex God
Grumpy-bean, sneezy-bean, dopey-bean, bashful-bean, happy-bean, sleepy-bean and bean -flicker... lol
Can I see your knickers?
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postie
Sex God
because duckberries are eggs.
Duvet covers... what's the point?
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postie
Sex God
Only 3 since i cut the legs off the other ones....
Can you eat blue (mouldy) cheese that has been in your fridge for ages?
(please say yes, or I may be dead tomorrow)
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postie
Sex God
Quote by Jags

Well, whatever muppet knocked you back for being too far away , needs a proper Jags-slap ! You should order the damned fool come and see you.... lol

One GREAT BIG HUGE JAGS SLAP being administered right here - right now!
:happy: :happy:
OUCH ! redface
:inlove:
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postie
Sex God
Quote by Him'nHer
Frederick Him-el-er at your sevice von Postie.............. I hav a cunning plan...
Ve do not use theys matches, but instead balsa vood......... it is much lighter........
Ve feed ze flies on ze mulch of ze baked beans............. and ve get rocket assisted propulsion.......
a goot plan ya :grin:

Ach so! Ze Britisher Flies vill dann be kaput with our new und wunderbar Top Zekret veapon... Unteroffizier Him'el'er, you hav the permizzion to try this cunning plan...
Gott strafe die Britisher fliegerkorps insekts !!
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postie
Sex God
Quote by Ice Pie
it will only be for those... who can be vouched for.
Alex x x

Damn. ;)
Be very worried if you went Ice, have you seen Alex's signature? :shock: ( don't know if that's the correct way to spell Scat or not... lol)
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postie
Sex God
Quote by Red(RHG)
It's not just a matter of how far YOU'd travel, either.
If someone has come 80 miles to see you - and they're awful - what are you going to do? Won't you feel guilty, sending 'em off unfucked into the freezing night?
I don't mean the awful people who deserve the brush-off, like the ones who are mean or pushy or pissed or 20 years older than they said..... I mean the people who can't help being awful, who turn out to be ginger, or even........ Welsh.
ducks and hides

And???
Stands and taps foot......
Obviously doesn't know what they are missin wink
Hehe!
Cathy x
Which reminds me Caffy....
I called round on the way back from Plymouth... and you weren't in!!!! :cry:
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postie
Sex God
Quote by Jags
how far away is too far!
Just been told in PM that I'm not near enough... :cry: :cry: :cry: but it could be right!! :happy:
How far would you travel to see a friend?
How far is too far to travel to see a friend?
Just an idle thought.
cool 8-)

Well, whatever muppet knocked you back for being too far away , needs a proper Jags-slap ! You should order the damned fool come and see you.... lol
As for me, I have clocked up near on a 1000 miles recently just for one munch. Though newbies I wouldn't put the milage in for. Would be furious to get blown out at the other end by a timewaster.
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postie
Sex God
Quote by Dino

The pride of the fleet biggrin , the flagship S.H Ark royal, primed and ready for battle :twisted:
click on the pic, go on i dare ya!
HAHAAAR ! bet yer shittin it now eh ! flipa

Banzaiiiiiiiiiii my little Fly pilots of doom...

ouch, bet that hurt !
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postie
Sex God
drinkies reminds me of dambuster...
:grin: always think of EagerSlut when i see this, as I imagine him like this just after he posts...
:wanker: Happy Cats ! ( or m2pu, depending on the day)
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postie
Sex God
Quote by Vix
Everywhere you go, always take the weather with you.

Or a gondola Vix.. :thumbup:
come to think of it, venazio, you haven't turned left at Rome instead of right, and ended up in Venice?
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postie
Sex God
Nice one! :lol2: The doggers are going to love this ! And Marcuso was the cop with the megaphone, wasn't he? Uncanny....
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postie
Sex God
Quote by Dino
Do moths work for night flights? :twisted:
:

They do, and even better, if you tie a tiny strip of white cloth around their heads, and set them off, they'll recreate the battle of Midway by making Kamikaze attacks on any vehicles passing your house
( if you listen really carefully you can actually hear them shouting - "Banzaiiiiiiii " as they fly in...)
rotflmao :rotflmao: :rotflmao:
tora! tora! tora!

my japanese battle fleet against your blue-bottle equipped P51s anyday! :smug:
neil x x x ;)
My task force is assembled and is heading (goldfish powered) down the Bridgewater canal as we speak :twisted: .
I will be joining up with Northwest-couples flotilla on the Leeds-Liverpool canal where we will steam ahead to intercept yours and Posties "Imperial" naval fleet on the Calder navigation.
Our flagship, the flycraft carrier S.H Ark royal is armed with Squadron leader Rogers the dragons V.T.O.L flea planes,
more than a match for your air power commanded by Wing commander Pheonix"D.F.C"
You still have time to surrender, you can copy and paste this into your next post if you wish worship :worship: :giveup: :giveup:
Ha ! Your flea-ridden banana boats don't scare us! For even as we speak highly trained Navajo dung beetles are breaking your secret code, and we know of all your plans! (damn, shouldn't have let on we know their plans, not good tactics..)
Look up and you'll see Mitsu-BEE-Shi Zero's about to attack your undefended bases... it'll be the insect Pearl Harbour and your goldfish powered ships will be sunk with the loss by drowning of all insects and, erm... fish. The Imperial Insect Air Force will achieve supreme victory , this is a glorious day, onwards my little insect pilots... to victory!!!!!
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postie
Sex God
Quote by Clare and Steve
A £5 book token???? Is that stingy enough?
Or failing that what about some kind of home-made "this is your life" type photo album, with every year from 0 - 40 ? You could duck into friends re-united and ask some of his school mates to contribute a pic or two, or say something... dunno

Thats a good idea for starters :thumbup:
l:
I thought the "this is your life" idea was beter though.... rolleyes lol
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postie
Sex God
Quote by freckledbird
Where did breezer go??? (and did he take his red pants with him???)

He's still here, he posted yesterday:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewpost/604346.html#604346
Ah! Typical though isn't it.. you wonder where someone is, because they have only posted 3 times since early september, and the day you stick up a " where are they" post, they sneak in and post a thread the day before...
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postie
Sex God
Where did breezer go??? (and did he take his red pants with him???)
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postie
Sex God
A £5 book token???? Is that stingy enough?
Or failing that what about some kind of home-made "this is your life" type photo album, with every year from 0 - 40 ? You could duck into friends re-united and ask some of his school mates to contribute a pic or two, or say something... dunno
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postie
Sex God
Quote by PeBbLeSDeMoN
Not a complaint but just a REMINDER!!!! to some people here that...
ADD is a verb that means to join or unite (one thing to another) it also describes the arithmetical process of addition!
AD is a noun (short for an advertisement)
OK? Thank you.
Pheww I feel much better now biggrin

So where does addy figure? lol
That'd be a type of British snake, found charging about grassland on sunny days.,.. dunno
(and AWOL, shouldn't their be a ' after Ad', to show that it's been shortened... and not the time after Jesus was pinned up? )
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postie
Sex God
Quote by meat2pleaseu
worst thing is, i've had people saying' then you did this and then you said that' odd, stupid things people will take the piss out of for a while, ahhh feck!!! redface surprisedops: :oops:

did they say you'd volunteered your house for a party?
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postie
Sex God
Quote by Dino
I know I am sick but it is soooooo tempting to try it. lol

You, me and many others Roger :lol: ,
Perhaps a competition could be organised where we could fly our "models" against each other, hire an old hanger or summat :thumbup:
with different classes of aircraft etc
Single engine racing
double engine racing,
dog fighting,
barnstorming,
airobatics, the options are endless :grin: :grin:
or maybe in Blue Peter stylee we can make some fly-plane hangers from old shoe boxes, just cut out an arch shape on each end. Make a control tower out of an After-Eights box and an off cut of lino for a runway.
I'm going to enter my fly-plane in the "vintage" class... I have glued 3 flies to 3 matches and then glued them all together and painted them red, and to be known as Baron Richtofen's FLYing Circus :lol:
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postie
Sex God
Quote by meat2pleaseu
well, the results are in and as you can see the posite will manage 5 minutes online before passing out option won.
at this point i would have normally insinuated that pastie is a no good alkie, incapable of going on a drinking spree, and several other witty insults at his expense but......
Friday night. i had 3 or 4 pints before stumbling to bed too tired to get online.
Saturday night. i went out to watch the fireworks and have a quick pint or two, don't remember leaving the pub, just waking with a hangover and a full bladder.
So, a shock result in the poll. the judges final decision being......it is infact me that is a no good alkie, incapable of going on a drinking spree redface surprisedops: :oops:
Sorry Pistie, you are in fact a drinking god and i bow down to greatness- just don't laugh too loud, my head hurts

You fecking lightweight !! :lol2:
You need to get in training by swapping the milk on your Sugar Puffs to Stella, discard the coffee for sherry, and make sure you only have a bath in beer. Then, my son, you shall achieve greatness....
(not touched a drop today... if you don't count drinking until 4am this morning rolleyes)
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