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sleazy
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 57
0 miles · West Midlands
Forum
Orgasminator
Quote by Bonedigger
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator
6. You watch the Weather Channel
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook-up" and "break-up"
8. You go from 130 days of vacation to 14
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up"
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won t turn down the stereo
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you
12. You don't know what time (Macca's, KFC, the kebab shop) closes anymore
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt
16. You take naps
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach
19. You go to the chemist for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests
20. A $ bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff"
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again"
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work
24. You drink at home to save money before going to the bar
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"
Bonus:
26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry arse.
Then you forward it to a bunch of old pals & friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it & do the same
used to happen to me all the time, so i decided to change my favourite songs to ones no one else had ever heard of...... hey presto i felt young again lol
Orgasminator
Quote by Bazza64
Hi everyone,
Been thinking its time we changed our username on here to reflect our status as a couple.
Has anyone else done this in the past?
Is it easily done?
Did you encounter any log-in or other problems after changing it?
Any other views etc.?
Bazza and Vicky
we did it , we just created a new user name for the pair of us, ...it was free of course then though...still, dont think it costs much these days, think long and hard about what you choose cos theres some terrible mistakes been made over the years mate
wrats
xx
Terrible mistakes Staggy?? :shock: :shock:
yeah bazza, i am actually very shy retiing and innocent
Orgasminator
Quote by naughtynymphos1
about 4 years ago now my husband was attacked by a group of teenagers, we used to live in a block of flats and the kids used to use the hall ways as a hang out point to smoke their dope etc, anyway one night it was about 8pm and in feb so was dark i went out and told them to clear off as i did from time to time only to have one lad aged 17 to have a go at me on this my hubby came out and escorted him out the building, is was shouting and swearing showing off in front of his mates etc as they do but once out the block my husband turned to come back in, the one lad he took out had a unopened bottle of wine in his hand and i saw his coming after my husband and he went for the back of his head with the bottle anyway i shouted as i saw the lad going for him and on this my husband turned round and held up his arm to protect his head and the lad smashed the bottle over his elbo, it didnt seem to bad at the time but my hubby was in shock we called the police and they called a ambulance, at the hospital they took a x ray and revealed that his arm was badly smashed, his elbo had be removed totally and a section of bone about 3 inch long was just shattered, at first they was going to just amputate his arm above the elbo as it was so badly damaged but they later decided to try and save the arm, luckly they did save his arm but is took 3 operations that included a prostetic elbo, a metal plate and pins and a bone graft off his hip to replace the missing bone in his arm, his lost some usage of that arm but guess its better than not having it at all.
Quote by winchwench
Naughty, thats awful
A tip given to me by another S.H'er- CC the bottom of every letter you write to the local MP and anyone else you can think of. It will let the HA know that you're to be taken seriously, and won't go away.
wanna come see me war wound winch lol
seriously I can empathise with the situation described in this forum totally, we have a yob culture now where it seems to be the norm to accept it, while I don't condone 'vigilantism' something surely has to be done at government level to stem the flow of these attacks on innocent people. Bullying takes many many forms, there doesn't have to be physical violence for people to be seriously upset. lobbying mp's is the way forward in my opinion, and the more people that shout the louder our voices will be heard.
Orgasminator
Quote by winchwench
Walking round the Tesco Metro - does it every time.
Asda just doesn't have the same effect!
How scary is that?
Mr W always seems to wander around Tesco's with a semi stiffy- just Tesco, none of the others.
Do you think they're pumping something through the aircon system?? :shock:
why did i have to have a wife that works at asda lol
ya reckon i can get her a transfer to tesco's lol ?
Orgasminator
nor read through all the replies to this topic so if i am repeating anything i apologise now but.......
much as i want to reply with is there such a thing as a bad fuck...... i will leave that bit of sleazyness fo another time and try and be a little more serious.
Sex has to be a 2 ( or 3 or 4) way thing, anyone, whether male or female is only going to get out of it as much as they are pepared to put into it. Obviously some have talents in specific area's ( i know a bloke who has never failed to make a woman multiple orgasm with his fingers) others have talented tongues some can fuck for england etc....
So if you think you are a 'good fuck' maybe its cause you have had the right partners.... and if ya come away thinking your performance was less than 100% maybe you had the wrong one..... just how I see it
much as i want to reply with is there such a thing as a bad fuck...... i will leave that bit of sleazyness fo another time and try and be a little more serious.
Sex has to be a 2 ( or 3 or 4) way thing, anyone, whether male or female is only going to get out of it as much as they are pepared to put into it. Obviously some have talents in specific area's ( i know a bloke who has never failed to make a woman multiple orgasm with his fingers) others have talented tongues some can fuck for england etc....
So if you think you are a 'good fuck' maybe its cause you have had the right partners.... and if ya come away thinking your performance was less than 100% maybe you had the wrong one..... just how I see it
Orgasminator
Quote by naughtynymphos1
And my wifes mother defineatley did..
Now don't get me wrong, I love her to bits and she certainly has her skills, I can't really think what they are at the moment but I am sure she has some. One thing I am sure of though is that non of her skills have ever been near a kitchen. She decided today that rather than spend a quid on egg mayonnaise she would simply make her own.......
HOW THE HELL DO YOU BURN BOILED EGGS:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :giggle: :giggle:
:shock: i can't believe you took a pic and posted it on the net :shock: whats wrong with you man? :lol2:
ok in my defence i'm a crap cook i always say if god wanted us to cook he wouldnt have invented microwaves
Yes but last time we bought a microwave, after 3 days you asked why ya couldn't get Jeremy Kyle on it.
Orgasminator
And my wifes mother defineatley did..
Now don't get me wrong, I love her to bits and she certainly has her skills, I can't really think what they are at the moment but I am sure she has some. One thing I am sure of though is that non of her skills have ever been near a kitchen. She decided today that rather than spend a quid on egg mayonnaise she would simply make her own.......
HOW THE HELL DO YOU BURN BOILED EGGS
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :giggle: :giggle:
Now don't get me wrong, I love her to bits and she certainly has her skills, I can't really think what they are at the moment but I am sure she has some. One thing I am sure of though is that non of her skills have ever been near a kitchen. She decided today that rather than spend a quid on egg mayonnaise she would simply make her own.......
HOW THE HELL DO YOU BURN BOILED EGGS
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :giggle: :giggle: 
Orgasminator
Ok, so there was naughtynymphos and I talking about what to do saturday, I said lets go to the academy in brum have a dance and a laugh and chill out for a few hours, she said " lets go to a club get naked and chill for a few hours " I agreed this was indeed a great idea but what club...... we can't decide between chams and xstasia, we flipped a coin and it landed on its edge so we decided we needed a more methodical plan.......... so my question....
where should we go and why lol ?
where should we go and why lol ?
Orgasminator
Just wanting to wish naughtynymphos1 a very happy anniversary.
15 years we have walked the road of life together, its had its ups n downs and we have had our share of problems like most people but we are still here and I love her more than ever.
8 years ago today she said 'i do' in a little church in nottinghamshire and there isn't a day gone by since that i haven't remembered that gorgeous young woman in a beautiful dress smiling at me as we exchanged our vows.
I love you naughtynymphos and I always will
Heres to the next 15 years
x x x
15 years we have walked the road of life together, its had its ups n downs and we have had our share of problems like most people but we are still here and I love her more than ever.
8 years ago today she said 'i do' in a little church in nottinghamshire and there isn't a day gone by since that i haven't remembered that gorgeous young woman in a beautiful dress smiling at me as we exchanged our vows.
I love you naughtynymphos and I always will
Heres to the next 15 years
x x x
Orgasminator
Quote by Tiger_lily
And Sleazy you can make a bet with me any time
I know a air few others bets that i am guarenteed to win so will hold you to that lol.
Was great to meet you all, and to share our celebrations with kate and all you guys.
Thank you to all that came and made it such a special night, and especially to dawn or helping me surprise naughtynymphos...... its amazing what that woman can do in a toilet lol
x xx x
Orgasminator
just a quick thank you to westmidscouple and midsprincess for allowing me to turn up at their party so late last night, even though i was only there a few short hours I thouroghly enjoyed the company there and was an excellent end to an otherwise pretty despondant day......... working saturday night should be illegal lol
thanks again you both
x x x x
sleazy
thanks again you both
x x x x
sleazy
Orgasminator
hiya does anyone else here use an applemac, and if so have any of you had any success in getting a cam to work in chat. Mine works fine with ichat, msn and a few other chat sites but i seem to struggle to get it to run in here, any idea's anyone.
i have 2 different cams available, 1 the isight camera built into my g5 imac and the other a logitech sphere, both run fine with the other apps but not chat rooms here, any help would be greatly appreciated ( p.s. I already runt he toucan driver before anyone suggests it lol)
sleazy
i have 2 different cams available, 1 the isight camera built into my g5 imac and the other a logitech sphere, both run fine with the other apps but not chat rooms here, any help would be greatly appreciated ( p.s. I already runt he toucan driver before anyone suggests it lol)
sleazy
Orgasminator
come on own up who is gunna be there ?
seriously, we are there from wednesday and thought it would be cool if anyone else is going to be there to meet up, just socially, and share some beers on the wednesday or thursday night before the festival begins properly on friday, so if ya are gunna be there and fancy a drink reply here and we will sort out a meeting place .
sleazy and naughtynymphos
seriously, we are there from wednesday and thought it would be cool if anyone else is going to be there to meet up, just socially, and share some beers on the wednesday or thursday night before the festival begins properly on friday, so if ya are gunna be there and fancy a drink reply here and we will sort out a meeting place .
sleazy and naughtynymphos
Orgasminator
Quote by Ms_minxie
:cry:
Im sorry I dont think I can make tonight now.
Both my close friends who I travel with and stay with all night are not able to make it. Cant be the lonely saddo in the corner lol.
then don't be the lonely saddo in the corner, just join in with the rest of us hun, you will be made more than welcome and ya know someone is going to 'look after ya' lol.
go on be a devil ya know ya want to lol
