smokerjim's Profile

23 Aug 2005

Postie - I'm gonna steal your thunder....It's Clint Eastwood with the "Dirty Harry" and "Man With No Name" trilogies AND Christopher Lee for Count Dracula, Fu Manchu and LOTR
flipa

:flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa: :flipa

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23 Aug 2005

Quote by Ms Amber
Redhead here!.......possibly wanting to apply depending on the consequences! :? :?

Ditto - except I have brown hair, with some tiny flecks of grey ( if I belive smoking muff's propaganda ).....and this is my USP - I am a man and a half! wink

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23 Aug 2005

Welcome back John, and we want you to stay - after all, you made me feel really welcome at my first Munch ( Essex II ), how will you continue doing that, if you aren't around watching the munch threads wink

I hope it is finally turning around for you, and my self and smoking muff wish you all the best mate.

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23 Aug 2005

Quote by smokerjim
I think this must be included

but what I would prefer is the Dambuster's version, if I can find it, I will post it.

Bingo - here it is....Dammie, this one's for you! ( PS, this doesn't have anything to do with your username does it? ) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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23 Aug 2005

I think this mustbe included

but what I would prefer is the Dambuster's version, if I can find it, I will post it. lol

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21 Aug 2005

Quote by Happy Cats
Its ok, I can wait!

Deary me - don't tell me you are going into this and you need a full heads-up? Not healthy if Mrs Happy Cats is a name as Ironic as yours!
Well for your info ( and Eager's ) bobfoc is an acronym
Body
Off-of
Baywatch
Face
Off-of
Crimewatch
Sheesh, amateurs!
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
I can go to bed now!Slacker!

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21 Aug 2005

Quote by Happy Cats
Its ok, I can wait!

Deary me - don't tell me you are going into this and you need a full heads-up? Not healthy if Mrs Happy Cats is a name as Ironic as yours!
Well for your info ( and Eager's ) bobfoc is an acronym
Body
Off-of
Baywatch
Face
Off-of
Crimewatch
Sheesh, amateurs!

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21 Aug 2005

Quote by steve_j
Anybody who got that sort of alignment right wasn't stoned...
but anyway interesting philosophical question..my serious answer would be to go back in time to 20th April 1889 to a place called Braunau-Am-Inn Austria and strangle the fourth child of a certain Alois and Klara Hitler, thus preventing WWII, The Holocaust, The Cold War and the middle east state of Israel.
on a lighter note I would have visited myself when I was 12 and gave me a very good talking too and list a load of Do's and Don'ts....

No, then you are on a murder charge - infanticide - wait until he ends up in the Viennese flop-house in the early 20's, when no one knows him, and general attitude will be DFK, DFC

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21 Aug 2005

Quote by Happy Cats
Or is that you can't help causing things to grow

Well i try my best :rascal:
dunno

:dunno: :dunno: :dunno: :dunno: :dunno:
Its all beyond me!!!
doesn't that just make you miserable? How's BoBfOc's sign up going? Or could I suggest Butter-Face ( as in..."Christ, what a great body...but her face!" ) - feel free to use my ideas ( oh yes, I know you would - and claim the credit for it! )

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21 Aug 2005

Quote by postie
I don't know the full answer to your question, lisa marie. BUT I do know that if i found out you were only partaking in a sexual activity (sorry to put it so bluntly) because you felt sorry for me, or didn't know how to say NO, then that would hurt. I don't want to find out afterwards that it wasn't fun for you......
Anyone who understands the sexual politics of swinging MUST understand it isn't shagsville a-go-go for all men. That as a fella you may be rejected, but it isn't a personal insult, and any man who takes it as a personal insult doesn't have the best interests of the person they were quite willing to fuck 1 minute before...
Do yourself a favour, and learn to say NO, as nicely as you can, and any fella who objects to that, proves why you said no in the first place!

well said postie - couldn't put it better myself - any man that is serious about swinging ( instead of a quick shag ) would echo his sentiments in a heartbeat.

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20 Aug 2005

Quote by tallnhairy
For those who cant read bleep, it stands for "Leave it fucking out" or similar ;) Poor Smoker Jim was in the middle of a few firefights, and called out then stood up at the wrong time

I believe one phrase that sticks in my mindwas ( forgive any misquotation due to memory lapse - and the caps will be deliberate )

FUCKIN' STOP SHOOTING ME YOU BASTARDS - I'M FUCKIN' OUT, OK? stupid fuckin' trigger happy c*nts!

What I found highly un-impressive was I heard the other team discussing "who is the shouty twat - just so we can aim on him, when he stands up!"

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20 Aug 2005

Quote by tallnhairy
One good reminder deserves another ;)

Didn't think anyone noticed my verbal disgust at the flouting of the "hit player leaving the game" protocol dunno

Just chored that for my sig :thumbup: - thank you worship

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20 Aug 2005

Quote by tallnhairy
PM TnH for tips on shooting people up the ass!

Pelt one player and you marked for life ;)
or was it 2, maybe 3... look I didnt make em run away... hehe...
Marked for life was the guy that short Sarcy Sue up the ass
Notice I used the pasttense!

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20 Aug 2005

Quote by Happy Cats
Did I remember you saying if anyone wanted the addy for the site Sarcy Sue got her flak jacket ( other products available ) they could PM you for details :lol: Put me down too!!!

I've patented the paint ball machine gun - I'll take you all on!
flipa

I am having teething problems though, so I might settle on the Kelly Heroes tank
Bagsy I get the Panzer VI - Tiger! The only way you can kill me in one of them is by shooting me up the ass! PM TnH for tips on shooting people up the ass!

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20 Aug 2005

Did I remember you saying if anyone wanted the addy for the site Sarcy Sue got her flak jacket ( other products available ) they could PM you for details lol

:lol: Put me down too!!!

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20 Aug 2005

Quote by bluexxx
Looks like you all had great fun :lol: :lol:
Next time try using real guns.... :lol2:
(That was a joke there Chimpy........ laugh... NOW :haha: )

We already discussed that - especially as we were outnumbered all day, even when we had a few hitler youth panzer-grenadiers!

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20 Aug 2005

Quote by bhd1976
Sounds like you all had a good time, it's even enough to get me to consider paintball - I've always wussed out in the past as I've seen far too many nasty bruises on other people, though considering some of the injuries I've picked up doing Live Action Roleplaying in the past I'm not sure why I'm worried.

It is definatelty one of those things you MUST do at least once in your life.

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20 Aug 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
Thank you Jim
I can now match up the 3 names to 3 faces I didn't know

Had to keep you hanging there, Dawn, simply because I'm :twisted:
( it's really cos I'm fugged! ) :kiss:

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20 Aug 2005

Ok, Dawn, just to help I'll tell you who's who in the central group shot ( from L to R )
Srilumpa, Venus, Mars, TnH, Nomad Soul ( in front ), Faruken, Gummy - the absentees are Sarky Sue ( Mrs TnH - sorry ) and me and smoking muff ( cos I wimped out on staying in the pub - no poppy and journey home lol

)

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20 Aug 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
Afraid my names to faces is pretty poor, even I not sure on the tall one in the middle... I am sure after 2 pints he was having trouble focusing on anything...

Where is Ice Pie with badges when you need him :lol2:
I can tell you where he wasn't - out in the boonies with us, getting his ass shot off ( probably too busy practising his dance moves for the next munch when Missy's song comes on! )

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20 Aug 2005

Quote by Dawn_Mids
There are 3 faces on that picture that I don't know
Stand up and show yourselves gentlemen :lol2:

Don't wait up Dawn - they could be staying in the campsite! lol

:lol:

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20 Aug 2005

Quote by tallnhairy
There were 11 intrepid explorers from the world of SH along with one observer.

One observer that wasn't able to observe very much apart from the damage at the end!
Anyway, here is my thanks ( now that I am fed, bathed and watered )...
Venus - what a cracking idea and thank you for starting it kiss

Easy - top man for taking on the organisation, when Venus needed help, I owe you a pint!
TnH - thanks for the tips for next time, and making me feel confident about surviving, by being the biggest bugger there ( didn't help I always got shot before him! )
Sarky Sue lol

- lovely to meet you, and can't wait till the next time :thumbup: BTW how's the bum? rotflmao

Gummy - good to see you again, sir, and I knowI owe you a pint! :cheers:
Faruken - good to meet you at last, don't worry about me getting injured during the second defense game, I can limp now!
Nomad Soul - sorry we didn't get more chance to chat
Mars - pleasure to meet the famed man himself! How do you cope? ( seriously, I need survival tips!! )
Srilumpa - it was a pleasure to meet you too, can't wait for the next time...
Talking of which - when is it?!!!! And smoking muff will be coming out with all guns blazing!
BTW, best bit ( for me )was when I was in the bunker with Srilumpa looking for any movement in the trees, then he shot out like a scalded cat. I moved to the back edge of the bunker, vaguely heard a shout about something or other - then a loud crack as a paint grenade went off behind me, looked round, saw paint dripping off the planks of the bunker wall, then heard Faruken say ( a bit disbelievingly ) "You're not hit!", then swung the barrel of my gun to the loophole and fired a load of shots as I shouted "C'MON YOU FUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHSSSS!!!!!!!" Perfectly sane me!

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19 Aug 2005

Quote by postie
Hang on guys,
nobodys given me a cuddle, oh prehaps soon lol.
love
lisamarie

get over here woman and brace yourself for a good frisking :rascal:
and wishy, the position of cheif piss taker has been taken flipa

yeh Happy Cats had his name down for that one a LONG time ago :small-print:
yeh i know..... i'm still a wanker
MCB (Tm. M2PU) is just an amater at piss taking, its best left to us professionals.
and your not a wanker, your a cock jockey now
MCB can be used as a locum P.T., but only along the lines of a Magistrate ( unpaid ) - if we have Meat, Wishy,Postie ( when he overcomes his demotion, viz " Party at mine......oh, no there isn't I was pissed " )and myself.

Eh... I was demoted? From the lowly position I was already in? Is it possible? I didn't think i was able to go any lower than the gutter... oh well... i'm calling in the SH Union Rep'..
Whaddya mean we haven't got a SH Union Rep'? We need a Rep'... I spend longer on here than I do at work... my H&S is important.... Right, that's it.. lets get Unionised Brothers and Sisters and stand up to the tyranny of the Mods... no longer shall we toil for hours without a tea-break writing piss taking replies, no longer shall we wear our fingers to nub ends typing grovelling pm's to Mods asking why our threads were locked... let us rise.. like lions, and not live like mice any longer!
Who's with me then.... ????????????? dunno

Don't all rush for the cheese at once!
Following on from postie's response he has been re-instated, the rest of you slackers are sacked ( except Wishy as his position is in an honourary capacity - ie he is expected to do as much as he is paid ), but I cannot comprehend that the rest of you idle skivers all failed to respond - postie is hungry for the job, so he gets it.
Welcome to the team, postie :thumbup: - the rest of you, get your gear and fugg off! :fuckinghell:

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19 Aug 2005

Quote by MikeC
That Love egg was bloody nice on my nipples
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
MikeC

We have a winner!!! You have been busted....er...by you confused

Now all we have to do is wait for your co-conspirator to reveal themselves lol

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19 Aug 2005

Quote by MikeNorth
Being a Master I like to control my partner sexually so I jumped at the chance to buy a remote love egg.
You get her to put the thing inside her then go out somewhere (normal day-to-day stuff) .... and at random times I'd switch the thing on remotely and watch her try to walk normally ..... even better to switch it on while she's having a conversation with someone. It's amazing how your concentration levels rise at times like those..

Hmmmm....a little bird told me that a certain couple were doing exactly this during the Nottingham munch. :P evil

Who could that have been, Mike? You obviously know more than the rest of us are letting on! Apparently, I heard through the grapevine, that they bought it from the shop on Upper Parliment St - and it was a pink egg ( same size as a RL large egg ) with a small pink controller - crap colours, but apparently worth putting up with.

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18 Aug 2005

Quote by meat2pleaseu
Hang on guys,
nobodys given me a cuddle, oh prehaps soon lol.
love
lisamarie

get over here woman and brace yourself for a good frisking :rascal:
and wishy, the position of cheif piss taker has been taken flipa

yeh Happy Cats had his name down for that one a LONG time ago :small-print:
yeh i know..... i'm still a wanker
MCB (Tm. M2PU) is just an amater at piss taking, its best left to us professionals.
and your not a wanker, your a cock jockey now
MCB can be used as a locum P.T., but only along the lines of a Magistrate ( unpaid ) - if we have Meat, Wishy, Postie ( when he overcomes his demotion, viz " Party at mine......oh, no there isn't I was pissed " ) and myself.
I would suggest Wishy in overall command, like the Queen with the army ( there, but not actually doing much ), with MCB in the back ground, like an annoying younger brother hopping from one foot to the other trying to join the big boy's gang, with Meat and myself doling out the P.T.-ing in an admirable Free-Market fashion ( whoever wants it, gets it! ) You up for that Meat? But we are not going to get into the question of seniority for this post, are we?

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16 Aug 2005

Quote by EagerSlut
Thought I'd just bump this for the benefit of any of the recent new members on here who might feel the urge to bare it all for (hopefully) a 2006 Calendar and who haven't yet discovered that you too can be in the spotlight! :twisted: :twisted:
If you don't know what the flippin' heck I'm on about then look in the left hand margin at the top of the page at the "In the Spotlight" section and click on SH Calendar 2005.
When you open the calendar you can then click on the individual months for the individual page for each month.
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
So come on. Be mad, be bad, be................daring! :P and start lobbying for next year's calendar.
Oh! And don't look at me. I didn't have anything to do with the making of it, apart from ..................erm....................the obvious! ops: :oops: :oops:
:whistling:
:uhoh:

Yes ES, let's start a poll! Vote here if you don't want smokerjim to bare all :scared: :scared: :scared: for the 2006 calander!!!

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16 Aug 2005

Quote by EagerSlut
I didn't do it - but it was such a feat, I think it deserves an honourable mention...my cavalier had bottom-end bearings that started knocking, my mate decided to swap a lump with that of a scrapped car. He found a good donor lump, and decided to replace my 8 valve single point injection for a 16valve multipoint injection model ( more power, and easier to tune the feulling for even more!!! ).
Sadly the wiring loom got cut too short and the multipoint wouldn't work - so he mated the 1.8 head with the 2.0 barrels and bottom end, with a 2.0 camshaft. Doesn't sound like much, but he had so much bother with it that when I offered to source a new loom ( to fit the 2.0 head properly ) he promised to break my arms and dismantle my car to the last nut and bolt, for me to rebuild on my own, if I so much as thought of mentioning that to him again ! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Yes but did it work though? dunno

Like a dream - only problems since I got it back have been wear and tear ( alternator, rad hoses, bulb ) and though it looks like shit ( faded paint on the bonnet and roof, and dirty ), itflies like shit off a shovel :bounce: :smug: :grin:

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16 Aug 2005

I didn't do it - but it was such a feat, I think it deserves an honourable mention...my cavalier had bottom-end bearings that started knocking, my mate decided to swap a lump with that of a scrapped car. He found a good donor lump, and decided to replace my 8 valve single point injection for a 16valve multipoint injection model ( more power, and easier to tune the feulling for even more!!! ).
Sadly the wiring loom got cut too short and the multipoint wouldn't work - so he mated the 1.8 head with the 2.0 barrels and bottom end, with a 2.0 camshaft. Doesn't sound like much, but he had so much bother with it that when I offered to source a new loom ( to fit the 2.0 head properly ) he promised to break my arms and dismantle my car to the last nut and bolt, for me to rebuild on my own, if I so much as thought of mentioning that to him again ! :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

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16 Aug 2005

Quote by SirLee
I fugging hate - no "despise" is a better word - the Green movement. I am an unashamed petrol head, and as such I am mightily fugged off by emissions restrictions that at a stroke killed classic ( pre '71 ) V8s and quality 2T ( two strokes for the rest of you ). People in their 40's might remember Fizzies, Elsie's, PowerValves even Yamma-Gammas - Where are the successors to these leviathans? Why has everything become so bland and anodyne, lacking progression, always chasing the most econimical smoothest aerodynamic blah blah blah.
Why can't someone just take up a Fuck You attitude. TF for Cisco and his fellow countrymen - all the time it is not good, but why have we all turned into a big bunch of hand-wringing, bleedin'-heart liberal pussies that bow and scrape at the command of anyone that says "Do this!"
:x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x :x
Rant over - but I will stand by what I said

tried to find somthing to disagree with but since i had a fs1e and a gamma and a ypvs and a 250lc among others im finding it hard to biggrin

:D
wonder if i can fit a v8 to a wheelie bin :twisted:
Wheelie bins are too small - get a Honda 90 degree V4 with 400 cc ( NC30 has the most power ) then slap on a supercharger ( no need to wait for boost to build up ) - and if that ain't good enough, plumb in some nitrous - and as last resort, bore out to a 450 (445? cubes ) If you get an NC35, put some NC30 pistons in - they've got a dished crown = higher comp. = bigger bang. ( The above assumes that you have started with a stage 3 road tune )
PS ( in edit ) as you are located in W. Yorks, you could do a lot worse than speak to Jarrod "Jack" Frost at Holeshot Racing ( He is a multiple motorcycle speed and power record holder ) :thumbup:
PPS - If Kaz doesn't like these ideas.....I didn't suggest them, alright? bolt

slight problem the only NC30 i know belongs to Kaz sad

weres my spanners lol

Bagsy the rear end, sub-frame and seat unit ( if it's a solo ) :lol: :lol: :lol:
PS. Kaz, you aint heard this from me either!!!

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