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soulgirl
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female, 50
UK

Forum

my bed when the kids are at their dads lol
or rest bay in south wales its great for surfing during the day and just chilling out when the suns going down.
My 5 year old Autistic son whos 5 telling me hes got a girlfriend whos very cute and he loves her very much. Ok the normal run of the mile for most kids around that age, but he finds it very hard to make new friends. Now he wants to invite her round for tea lol
Quote by Ian
People will often be blinkered into only seeing the area of swinging that they participate in as being encompassed into the term swinging,and any activity that they don't do falls outside, and does not constitute swinging.
I had a good long read at this

Still don't think it fully answers the orignial question though.

I had a read of wikipedia and as it says Swinging activities may include (but are not limited to):
Soft swinging: having sexual intercourse with a partner while two or more other people perform sex acts in the immediate vicinity.
Soft swap: having oral sex with someone other than one's partner. Often a type of swinging that new couples choose before eventually trying full swap, although many couples stay "soft swap" for personal or safety related reasons.
Full swap: having penetrative sex with someone other than one's partner. Although this is the commonly understood definition of swinging, it is not necessarily the most common type.
Group sex: An all-inclusive term for activities involving multiple partners in the same vicinity.
Typically, swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in sexual activity with another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual.
So seeing as I'm a single female I guess I dont get classed as a swinger according to wikipedia however I do prefer MMF to 121 meets, so I guess I'm just classed as a greedy girl :P
I put my kids on e-bay a while back but was told the sale of livestock was now allowed mad
I've just changed mine and someone said I must have the longest profile on the site lol
theres also another one doing the rounds on windows live messenger called You were blocked?. It will come from one of the people on your msn list and basically once you open it, it sends the message to everyone in your msn and takes you to some dodge site.
Being a single female I would highly recommended Abfabs near Heathrow. Have found the staff there really helpful and all the guys & couples that attend have been really friendly.
I feel completely at home at the club, actually its becoming like a second home lol.
Best thing you can do is find someone who has been to a club before and tag along with them.
I've also heard Club F is really good as well and I'm trying to sort out visiting there soon.
Go into the southcoast room and ask some of the locals in there as alot of them do go to the New Forest and will be able to tell you the best places to go and best days. Hope you have fun.
I joined this site for a bit of fun and to make friends, which I have to say I've made loads of great friends and the fun has been amazing.
However I meet someone off the site who after a while we decided to become boyfriend/girlfriend and made plans for the future.
However 18 months down the line I found out he was actually married when I meet him, he'd been seeing other single females when he was married and seeing me and telling them much the same thing that he was seperated and waiting for the 2 years to be up to get a divorce. He was giving false names, had 3 different mobile nos, 4 different email addresses and meeting other couples as well. Turned out one of the couples and one of the single females had threatened to report him to his work for his actions. Unfortunately one thing lead to another and I had to report him to the police.
As you can see from the other posts people have found love on here and are very happy and in vanilla life you are still going to get the relationship that work and those that done. Basically life is to short and I intend to make the most of it now.
A very big up to my 10 year old daughter and my best friend Amy for making me realise I so had to dump my boyfriend. Life is now sweet thanks to them kiss
Quote by kentswingers777
As long as contributing to the NHS is compulsary through my wages, that alone gives me the RIGHT to free health care.
The health system is suffering hugely because of the ammount of people that do not contribute, be it illegals or people that have contributed nothing, or those out of work.
People are living longer than ever before which also puts a huge strain on things, as there are more pensioners than ever before.
IF I could opt out of the NHS I would yesterday, but I cannot. So on that basis my £350 a month compulsary contribution goes towards whatever illness I may suffer from.
It does not make one jot whether someone smokes or drinks as to what level of treatment they receive.
In my book if you contribute or have contributed over years of paying NHS contributions, that should make you qualify for free treatment no matter how you came by your illness, to suggest that people who smoke should go to the bottom of the list is quite frankly insulting.
I pay my money and that gives me a right to that health care. Oh and also people have known for over 30 years the damage smoking does so that arguement does not hold much substance at all.
That is like saying a scaffolder should not recieve any treatment if he falls of that scaffolding as he knows there is a danger. As it is I also have private health care as if I fall ill I do not want to wait 16 years to be treated for it. I would be seen within a week for a consultant, unlike months of waiting for an NHS one. So I pay twice which makes my NHS contributions even harder to swallow.

Generally speaking, scaffolders are provided with safety equipment and take a certain amout of care to avoid accidents.
Smokers deliberately attempt to cause themselves harm.
If a scaffolder was stupid enough to keep jumping off the scaffolding and survived I`d put him to the bottom of the list too !!!
Well let's take a possible situation here. YOU are out driving your car on a nice sunny day. You stop at a junction and do not see another car coming. You pull out and it hits your car and you are seriously injured because of YOUR inability to see another car.
The police even charge YOU with careless driving. Would it be ok for a hospital not to treat you as it was down to YOUR inability to see a car?
How far down the silly road do you want to go?
IF someone gets involved in a fight and it is his fault but someone stabs him and he needs urgent medical treatment, would you deny him that as it was his fault?
Of course not. The system is there to treat everyone regardless of whether they smoke or drink, or have had an accident through their own neglect.
To suggest otherwise will be a downward spiral for the NHS. As the motto always used to be " free healthcare for everyone ". Yes it is not free to the taxpayers but that was the drift.
Actually if you have car insurance the hospital will claim back some of the cost of the treatment for anyone injured in the accident as recently happened to a friend who found the NHS had claimed £500 from their insurance company for the cost of an ambulance attending the accident they were in even through it wasnt their fault.
Quote by kentswingers777
Justifying the discrimination against minorities by pointing out some of the prejudice and discrimination they face is quite the most ridiculous argument I have ever seen.

Benny......you talk all the time about " minorities " in society and how they get a rough deal. The law is there to protect that said " minority " and rightly so.
But.....and here is the but, will this child handed over to two gay men to bring up, not be in that same minority you talk about? If that is correct where is the law to protect that child? There is none at all, that will stop the possible bullying it will no doubt suffer.
It WILL be in a minority of children brought up in a gay relationship. That being the case and reading all your past arguements about minorities in society, I would have thought you would have wanted people to talk about it?
Will this child need protecting in the same way other minorities are? Or are you just going to go around in circles accusing people of being predjudiced or racist or whatever else you think people are, just because they do not fall in with your line of thinking?
I would like to hear your thoughts on this child being a minority and protecting it from possible predjudices and what can be done to protect it.
Why would this child need protecting being a minority, is he a minority cos of his parents sexuality? I dont think so. From past experience child at a very young age just accept things and unless they are told different by an adult I cant see there being a problem. But then again adults will always see something wrong with things that arent the "norm".
And thinking about it are my children a minority cos of my swinging life style?
An article I found recently on Autism
Scientists hail autism breakthrough
Autism research has hit a breakthrough point equivalent to the one that revolutionised the understanding and treatment of cancer 30 years ago, it has been claimed.
Three major studies have for the first time pinpointed genetic mechanisms underlying autistic disorders, including ones which are relatively common.
Scientists believe the findings could mark as big a transformation in tackling autism as occurred when researchers began to unravel the genetic causes of cancer.
Autism covers a group of conditions known as autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) which affect about one in 150 mostly male children.
They are marked by an impaired ability to communicate and interact socially, narrowly focused attention, and repetitive behaviour.
A complex genetic jigsaw is believed to underpin autism, but identifying the pieces has proved difficult.
Although a number of genetic variants have previously been implicated in ASDs, the connections have not been clear.
The new research, which involved screening the DNA of many thousands of volunteers, may at last have lifted the lid on the causes of autism, scientists believe.
It suggests that proteins called cell adhesion molecules, which play a vital role in shaping brain "wiring" and the way nerve cells communicate, play a key role in autism disorders.
New treatments could now be developed that target these proteins or the genes that provide the instructions for making them.
Quote by kentswingers777
So out of ignorance what is ODD?
Is that also not similar to Autism?
IF I saw a naughty child could it have ODD or could it be Autism or could it be just a plain and simple naughty kid? How is any member of the public supposed to know?
So anytime in the future when I see a kid acting like a little toad I will take a step back, and think what could be wrong, instead of the obvious.
Sorry but there are now so many newish terms to describe naughty kids, that I cannot keep up.
That is not being funny, that is how I see it.
When I got home tonight there is a lovely family that lives just around the corner,ya know the sort coppers always knocking at their door etc. Well I got out of my car and crossed the road and this lovely little girl of about ten who lives there gave me the most dirtiest of looks. When I dared to stare back at her in amazement she spat " what you fucking looking at "?
Now what catagory should I place her in?

Yes there are so many newish terms that it does get confusing for people who have no contact with child who have these conditions. I dont know another parent who has a child with autism yet 1 in every 150 people (children & adults) suffer with the condition. So the only things I know about Autism is what the doctors and professionals tell me and what I read on the internet.
But it does bring to light how people do judge others and I thank you Kent for now saying you will take a step back, and think what could be wrong, instead of the obvious. At least one person has been made aware that there could be something else wrong.
But I would like to say its not just children who suffer from judgement. The other day I was in the supermarket with other half and you could see a young pregnant woman with a young child following her, the young lady appeared to be walking around the store as if she was drunk and you guessed it people where stopping and looking. What they didnt realise was she had MS, but again people were judging her on how her body was moving.
Quote by GnV
Unbelievable.......words fail me
Laura Ripley who has never worked was given a £8,000 op on the NHS to help her slim down from 38 to 22 stone.
But the 25-year-old, who receives £600 a month in benefits is unhappy because as a result of losing weight she can no longer claim disability allowance amounting to an extra £340 a month. This, she says, means she cannot afford to eat healthily - causing her to pile the weight back on.

So basically she gets £155 a week all to herself and her unemployed other half must get money as well. So why the bloody hell is she getting nearly as much money as me and I have 2 kids to look after? I get about a week which is the basic for a single parent with 2 children plus I am able to claim the disability living allowance because my son is disabled not some fat lazy bit** who has basically decided to eat herself fat. How can the government justify that a single parent gets just to feed and buy clothes for 2 child?
And the disability living allowance is giving to someone because they are unable to do things such as wash, cook or clean for themselves or have difficultly doing this and need the help. If she can go to the gym she can bloody well wash, cook and clean for hearself.
And if she moved to a 1 bedroom flat she would save herself £35 a week, then being able to buy the health snacks.
I'm very lucky I live 5 minutes walk from 2 different primary schools so I dont have a problem walking my children to school, however it appears other local parent around me do. I see parents driving their child the 1 minute it takes them to get their, but it takes them another 10 minutes to find a parking space get the kids out the car cross the road, drop the kids in class and then get back to their car and drive off. Are these people completely mad?
I dont actualy drive so I do often wonder how much easier my life would be if I did. Would I turn into a lazy sod and instead of walking the 10 minutes to the local supermarket would I drive there instead. However I now have to learn to drive as my son is disabled and I need to be able to get him to hospital appointments, etc but I am dreading the day my kids finally realise that I have become a taxi service for them.
Should we not option to follow Beijing Driving Restrictions
* Cars with number (license) plates ending with 1 or 6 will be banned on Tuesdays
* Cars with number (license) plates ending with 2 or 7 will be banned on Wednesdays
* Cars with number (license) plates ending with 3 or 8 will be banned on Thursdays
* Cars with number (license) plates ending with 4 or 9 will be banned on Fridays
* Cars with number (license) plates ending with 5 or 0 will be banned on Mondays
Quote by kentswingers777
Of course what you are doing is correct but....before you had your child if you saw a really naughty child behaving very badly in a shop, would you not have thought differently to now?
My guess is like most people you would have just seen a naughty child, so do not be too harsh on others, as they only see a naughty child and do not know anything else.
By you putting things on t shirts means you must be bothered by people's actions and looks?
I see naughty kids every week at the supermarket....screaming because they cannot have their sweets or a cake, but I just see a naughty child. Maybe they are just plain naughty and maybe they are not but, I just see a naughty child that needs a smacky poos, which is exactly what others see.

So if you saw my son in a shop you would want to smack him or most likely shout at him. That is probably one of the worst things you can do to a child with autism. My son does not scream because he wants toys or sweets, he screams in shops because he gets confused as to why there are so many people there, why its so noisey, and why their is food there that he doesnt like and has to walk past.
You might find it hard to understand a child with autism, but I can not let the autism ruin mine, his or his sisters life. The only way that we can overcome these out bursts is facing the problem head on. I will continue to take him to supermarkets, parks, town etc and he will continue to scream but I do not intend to shut him away in the house just because others around us dont like how he behaves. Do you think anyone with a mental disability should be locked away and never to appear in public?
For god sake kent I put things on my sons t-shirts as it happens to upset my 10 year old daughter not me and it was actually her idea, so really I should have said she asked for the t-shirts to be printed.
And if i saw a naughty child in a shop before I had my son I never judged them, why cos I was very lucky to grow up around a few disabled children who taught me that life was too short to judge others they made me realise that even through some of them didnt make it to adulthood they make the most of their lifes.
Quote by Funlovers2009
People are very judgemental.....
Our youngest child has severe autism athough he looks completely 'normal' his behaviour is really not!!
Every time we are out whether it be in Tesco, indoor play centres or just out walking you would not believe the looks/comments.
People judging us as bad parents for not being able to control our child!!
I used to get very upset to the point where I did not want to take him out but you cant live a life like that and it is not fair on him as he is a child after all and needs to have fun just as any other child does. Now I just put 2 fingers up to the world. I know I am a good parent and know that my son cannot help or control his behaviours.
I love him to bits but sometimes he is sooooo difficult that I wish for the sakes of my other children that I could turn the clock back and decide that 2 was enough!!!
Judge all you want ..... I dont care!!

Everytime I go to the supermarket, town, park etc etc I am judge because of my sons behaviour (hes only 5 years old). He cant help its as hes got autism but I have come to the stage in my life now that I really couldnt care less what people say about his behaviour in public, at the end of the day he has a disability that you cant see and these people need to be educated.
I've got t-shirts printed for him they say "I've got autism whats you problem" and "I'm not naughty I have autism".
I also have printed the following on cards and have actually given them to people when they start making comments or tutting when hes having a moment it says
"What you are witnessing is a child with autism. This child is not a brat, does not need discipline, and I am not a bad parents. Autism is a neurobiological disorder that makes children behave in ways that most people don't understand. People with autism are often confused and upset and react in ways that are socially inappropriate, such as a tantrum. Please be patient while I teach our child how to function appropriately in the community."
I just hope that what I am doing might at least make them think in future before they judge others. I can only live in hope.
Quote by soul-girl
If my brother found that he couldn't have children and I was in a position to help then I'd help him regardless of his sexuality and who his partner was.

Whilst I agree that the artical focused mainly on their sexuality, will the child not grow up in an enviroment that is not the norm?
If that was to be the case, will the child be ridiculed because of it, and will that child be unhappy because of that?
How far are people allowed to take the IVF or the surrogate issues?
I think these issues should be looked at very carefully, and think of the childs best interests, and not the adults making the decisions.
I dont see what the problem is with 2 "gay men" having a child together. It shouldnt matter if it was a single gay female, single gay male, gay couple or straight couple having the baby through IVF or surrogate person.
A few years back I remember seeing a program about a single straight male who had gone down the path of having 2 children by surrogate mothers as he said he'd never found the right woman to have a child with. Would you say that is wrong?
These days I dont think there is a normal environment to bring a child up in, but most importantly the fact that the child is obviously very wanted, cared for and loved far outways the issues of the parents sexuality.
Maybe that is where society has gone wrong then?
When a child does not know what the " norm " is, what have they got to judge anything by?
Normal to a lot of people would be for a couple to have a child together, and raise it together. A married couple where a child is created by love for each other, and not to be given away like an old times have changed, but not always for the better.
I could never understand how a Mother can conceive a child and carry it for nine months, and then give it away. No matter who they are giving it too.
So are you saying that anyone who gets pregnant and gives a child away for whatever reason its wrong. So a 14 year old girl and doesnt tell anyone until its too late has the child adopted is that wrong?
Is the couple who spend £30k on IVF treament and still doesnt get pregnant and finds a surrogate mom to have the IVF treament for them using their eggs/sperm, is that wrong?
The way you have put across your comments appears that you donts approve of gay/lesbian relationships why should they now have the option of having children?
theres a few above I think rolleyes
Quote by Mr-Powers
Both of the issues.
The fact a Mother can give away a child she has carried for nine months, would not sit well with most Mothers.
And you base this on what??...this is an assumption based on your opinion and only your opinion.
The second Is I believe that this kind of thing is NOT the norm and therefore the child will suffer, from all walks of life.
What is not the norm...surragacy or both sex parents...again this is your assumption based on little or no facts at all...
Forget about the Mother for a moment and think about the child and the level of abuse he will suffer both as a child and as an adult.
Level of abuse from who...what the same level of abuse that any child would get if say other children found out that their parents were swingers!!!
When you are brought up in exceptional circumstances such as this, surely it will have a detrimental affect on the child when older?
Based on what??...if a child is brought up by loving parents regardless of their gender,how this that detrimental,i'm not sorry for saying this Kent...your argument against this is not only bollocks but your selective narrow mindedness is beyond belief...FFS your a married couple that meet up with strangers for sex...is that normal??

Powers.......I do not expect you to ever agree with anything I say, but these are my opinions and the opinions of five different women who I have asked.
They are just normal Mothers who cannot understand a woman giving up her child. So it is not just my opinion.
Ya seem to hate me expressing an opinion for that is what I said somewhere in one of my previous posts. My opinion.....simple as that, or are you one of those lefties that hate free speech?
this doesn't make sense...i thought lefties were all for free speech? dunno
Anyway you keep slagging me or my opinions off matey, for I believe what I write and certainly not you will ever stop me from doing that.
You ever thought about doing a paper round to while away your hours? wink
you know you really are a piece of work...you don't express your opinions,you force them upon others,until you wear them that they just can't be bothered anymore to argue back...your opinions are usually so way off the mark...and as predictable as you are...you always throw in the "are you a lefty" remark... rolleyes
The problem is kent I've asked several questions in this post and you dont seems to answer them you just go on about what is the norm, well times are changing, and its about time you moved with ths times and stopped looking through those rose tints glasses and got in the real world.
The main reason this couple will have problems with raising their child is because people will not let them, there will always be people doing a double look when they walk down the street, always the local gossips talking about them behind their backs.
And when the child goes to school he might get teased and guess what he'll be teased by the child of the adults who do the double look in the street and the local gossips.
Quote by kentswingers777
Both of the issues.
The fact a Mother can give away a child she has carried for nine months, would not sit well with most Mothers.
The second Is I believe that this kind of thing is NOT the norm and therefore the child will suffer, from all walks of life.
Forget about the Mother for a moment and think about the child and the level of abuse he will suffer both as a child and as an adult.
When you are brought up in exceptional circumstances such as this, surely it will have a detrimental affect on the child when older?

The child is being raised by 2 parents of the same sex, so you could say the same about a single parent bring up a child on their own. They only have the parenting from ever a mother or a father.
And no lets not put aside the issue of the mother giving away the child, I think it is a point you have raised several times, have you been through this experience? Do you know what the mother goes through, do you understand why they do it?
Quote by kentswingers777
If my brother found that he couldn't have children and I was in a position to help then I'd help him regardless of his sexuality and who his partner was.

Whilst I agree that the artical focused mainly on their sexuality, will the child not grow up in an enviroment that is not the norm?
If that was to be the case, will the child be ridiculed because of it, and will that child be unhappy because of that?
How far are people allowed to take the IVF or the surrogate issues?
I think these issues should be looked at very carefully, and think of the childs best interests, and not the adults making the decisions.
I dont see what the problem is with 2 "gay men" having a child together. It shouldnt matter if it was a single gay female, single gay male, gay couple or straight couple having the baby through IVF or surrogate person.
A few years back I remember seeing a program about a single straight male who had gone down the path of having 2 children by surrogate mothers as he said he'd never found the right woman to have a child with. Would you say that is wrong?
These days I dont think there is a normal environment to bring a child up in, but most importantly the fact that the child is obviously very wanted, cared for and loved far outways the issues of the parents sexuality.
Maybe that is where society has gone wrong then?
When a child does not know what the " norm " is, what have they got to judge anything by?
Normal to a lot of people would be for a couple to have a child together, and raise it together. A married couple where a child is created by love for each other, and not to be given away like an old times have changed, but not always for the better.
I could never understand how a Mother can conceive a child and carry it for nine months, and then give it away. No matter who they are giving it too.
So are you saying that anyone who gets pregnant and gives a child away for whatever reason its wrong. So a 14 year old girl and doesnt tell anyone until its too late has the child adopted is that wrong?
Is the couple who spend £30k on IVF treament and still doesnt get pregnant and finds a surrogate mom to have the IVF treament for them using their eggs/sperm, is that wrong?
The way you have put across your comments appears that you donts approve of gay/lesbian relationships why should they now have the option of having children?
Quote by kentswingers777
If my brother found that he couldn't have children and I was in a position to help then I'd help him regardless of his sexuality and who his partner was.

Whilst I agree that the artical focused mainly on their sexuality, will the child not grow up in an enviroment that is not the norm?
If that was to be the case, will the child be ridiculed because of it, and will that child be unhappy because of that?
How far are people allowed to take the IVF or the surrogate issues?
I think these issues should be looked at very carefully, and think of the childs best interests, and not the adults making the decisions.
I dont see what the problem is with 2 "gay men" having a child together. It shouldnt matter if it was a single gay female, single gay male, gay couple or straight couple having the baby through IVF or surrogate person.
A few years back I remember seeing a program about a single straight male who had gone down the path of having 2 children by surrogate mothers as he said he'd never found the right woman to have a child with. Would you say that is wrong?
These days I dont think there is a normal environment to bring a child up in, but most importantly the fact that the child is obviously very wanted, cared for and loved far outways the issues of the parents sexuality.
My daughter forgot her password once and luckily as we have a dell computer they were able to reset the password for us online and directly onto the machine and it cost £60.
I'm not really a tech person, but is there any local computer shops you could take it to see if they can help, but then again if the machine is password protected I bet hes got passwords for everything like email etc etc.
There are so many people on the organ donor list that I think a fair decision was made.
Please dont forget if you havent already registered and would like to become an organ donor then please use the following link

I would like to say that I registered about 3 years ago and my daughter who at the time was only 7 asked if I could register her as well. She said if she was to die she would like to know that at least she was able to save other peoples lifes.
Different states of the United States have some unique yet foolish and eccentric laws of their own. In Alabama, putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death and keeping an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time is a crime. A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets. In Alaska, you may hunt a bear safely but it is illegal to wake a bear and take a picture for photo opportunities.
In Arizona, US, donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs and you may be imprisoned for 25 years for cutting down a cactus. In Arkansas, schoolteachers who bob their hair are not eligible for a raise and it is illegal to buy or sell blue light bulbs. In Baldwin Park,
California, nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool while in Los Angeles, a man can legally beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.
In Philippines, cars whose license plates end with a 1 or 2 are not allowed on the roads on Monday, 3 or 4 on Tuesday, 5 or 6 on Wednesday, 7 or 8 on Thursday, and 9 or 0 on Friday from 7:00 AM onwards to keep roads free of traffic jams.
In Singapore, it is illegal to come within 50 meters of a pedestrian crossing marker on any street.
In South Korea, traffic policemen are required to report all bribes that they receive from motorists.
In Sweden, prostitution is legal but it is illegal to use the services of a prostitute.
In Switzerland, it is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 PM.
In Thailand, it is illegal to leave your house without wearing underwear.