Thanks all fot the kind words and advice.
An update...........
My wife with full permission from me played away whilst on her course. I had before this been neglecting her & the family. There was an emotional attachment with the person she met (he made her feel special, which I mostly don't).
The quietness (secrecy) was my problem and we have now talked through the problem. Hurrah!!!!!! it turns out my wofe loves me and (something of a surprise, although why it was is beyond me, when it hit me) I adore, love and admire her.
A point that comes from this is how men and women think of sex (a generalisation I know we are all different).
My wife (although very bi) would not willingly let another woman into our relationship because I might fall in love with her although she will go off have girly time and tell me about it which I find horny, I don't mind this. She can't understand why I would be happy to watch another man fuck her and thinks that it would be better to play away and tell me about it after, this troubles me as I think she needs an emotional attachment for sex & whilst I'm prepared to accept my chances against another girl I don't want her getting both emotional & physical fulfillment without at least my presence.
We are now though very much back in love, still in touch with the guy she met and probably eventually will meet him again. The lesson I've learnt is that communication is the key.
Oh yes and I'm not paranoid everyone really does hate me!
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webster
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 65
0 miles · Northamptonshire
Forum
You're all right. Much more complex than you could imagine (or maybe not).
Both of us have high expatitions from our respective employers and are rewarded commesurateley, our son is over 5 & under 10 so doesn't really understand, but the sexual fantasies and enactments statrted when we were not even married.
I'm sure we willl work this out and I now more than before (but i knew really) that this is not a problem related to our sexual leanings but more a lack of love.
Trouble is I never remember any situation where love wasn't the answer as far as I was concerned )from parking tickets to shopping it doesn't really matter).
I need to sleep now, one way or another I need to find a way forward.
I am very sorry for the down tone of this message, bur as I said before at least you understand and are not too judgenental,
Who knows where we go from here? We should be flying but I suspect I've fucked up.
Web
Both of us have high expatitions from our respective employers and are rewarded commesurateley, our son is over 5 & under 10 so doesn't really understand, but the sexual fantasies and enactments statrted when we were not even married.
I'm sure we willl work this out and I now more than before (but i knew really) that this is not a problem related to our sexual leanings but more a lack of love.
Trouble is I never remember any situation where love wasn't the answer as far as I was concerned )from parking tickets to shopping it doesn't really matter).
I need to sleep now, one way or another I need to find a way forward.
I am very sorry for the down tone of this message, bur as I said before at least you understand and are not too judgenental,
Who knows where we go from here? We should be flying but I suspect I've fucked up.
Web
I've been a "watching" menmber of this site for a long time and I felt I would get non judgemental advice.
Thank you for the compassionate way you have responded and questioned my (our) attitude to each other. You have crystalised my feelings about what has been wrong for the last few years and I hope we can get this back on track. It isn't about swinging it is about communication and trust.
I will keep updated, either there will be fun to be had as a couple in time (months I suspect) to come or there will be a very morose single bloke out here looking for cuddles.
Thanks again
Web
Thank you for the compassionate way you have responded and questioned my (our) attitude to each other. You have crystalised my feelings about what has been wrong for the last few years and I hope we can get this back on track. It isn't about swinging it is about communication and trust.
I will keep updated, either there will be fun to be had as a couple in time (months I suspect) to come or there will be a very morose single bloke out here looking for cuddles.
Thanks again
Web
My wife and I have had an active sex life including same room fun to sucking but not fucking and.
Lately (since the birth of our son) this has gone off a bit. I have always "got off" on her flashing and flirting with other men and she's been happy to indulge me.
Recently (7 days) she went on a course with work, we talked about her getting chatted up and full permission was given by me providing there were no secrets.
When she returned she told me about a chap she had given a blow job and I was so excited I could have burst, but now she's being very odd, I've reassured her I love her and always will and she says she's just tired (maybe she is, maybe it's mt problem but I don't feel that!).
Has she played and got emotionally attached to this guy? is she just feeling guilty? I still feel really horny about it but I'm worried it will damage our relationship.
Very confused, but very horny.
Webster
Lately (since the birth of our son) this has gone off a bit. I have always "got off" on her flashing and flirting with other men and she's been happy to indulge me.
Recently (7 days) she went on a course with work, we talked about her getting chatted up and full permission was given by me providing there were no secrets.
When she returned she told me about a chap she had given a blow job and I was so excited I could have burst, but now she's being very odd, I've reassured her I love her and always will and she says she's just tired (maybe she is, maybe it's mt problem but I don't feel that!).
Has she played and got emotionally attached to this guy? is she just feeling guilty? I still feel really horny about it but I'm worried it will damage our relationship.
Very confused, but very horny.
Webster
Hi, I'm a not so new newbie too.
I visit quite often but don't always log in, I find the banter amusing and the content fascinating. My wife and I have had a couple of very interesting encounters but she thinks that spontaneous "swinging" is one of those things that happens, planning it is faintly pervy. So I just visit here occasionally head in hand :P
I suppose I'm becoming a text voyeur :!: .
I visit quite often but don't always log in, I find the banter amusing and the content fascinating. My wife and I have had a couple of very interesting encounters but she thinks that spontaneous "swinging" is one of those things that happens, planning it is faintly pervy. So I just visit here occasionally head in hand :P
I suppose I'm becoming a text voyeur :!: .
