Sunday morning's are always slow starters, It's not a work day for me and the offspring has bounded off early to do charity work with a couple of friends from school days. So, after leisurely eating a light breakfast, the dog walk gets under way. So many walks, lanes, footpaths, sea walls to choose from, with vistas/panoramas being the reward for the effort; the greater the effort, the better the view. My mobile pinged. wild. Making for a safe spot to sit and checking there were no sheep around for the dog to become interested in, I checked the text. "Sir, good morning, Sir. Sir,Your property wonders how You slept, if it pleases You, Sir?" 11.15 was still morning, and maybe last night's revellery had suppressed her brain enough to make her sleep longer. Weekend. She was allowed. No children waking at the crack of dawn. "Good morning, wild. What a pleasant surprise to receive your message. Your Owner slept well. Thank you for asking. How was your night out? The local online news during didn't mention unruly clubbing girls being taken into custody, so you must've been well behaved." " Sir, You make this sub smile at Your comments, Sir. Sir, it has a thumping hangover, and wants to tell about last night, Sir. Sir, it has kids to pick up at 5 and a supermarket shop to do before 4, Sir. Sir, this sub really would appreciate time to get itself together, if You don't mind, Sir. Sir, having 2nd coffee, Sir. " "Of course, wild. you're a mum and you've got all the responsibilities that go with that. I understand. Sip water, wild, to rehydrate. Next time drink plenty of water before you start on your night out. I look forward to hearing more later, if you get the chance to text." " Sir,thank You, Sir. Sir water makes it want to go the loo, even more though, Sir. Sir, got a story to tell You, about when Your property went to the loo at a club, Sir. Sir must go, Sir. " "Go, wild, but no driving if you feel hung over. Get a taxi!" What a girl!! What was the story about the toilets, I wondered, as the path descended into woodland, past an old derelict mill. Even here, in the 'unspoilt' Cumbria that people from across the UK visit for its unspoilt beauty, industry raged across what must have been a smoky landscape 200 years ago, with charcoal burners, flax mills, cotton mills and iron foundries...remnants and tell tale signs still there, if you know where to look. Later in the evening, the phone pinged. Using the tablet, I viewed the messaging app, and read. "Sir, Your property is feeling much better, Sir. Sir did shopping, mum delivered kids, they're bathed, story read and just about asleep, Sir. Sir, this sub is shattered, Sir. " "Don't go out on Saturday nights then, wild ," I teased, knowing full well that this was her only chance in a laborious week, to claim her young years back, just for a night. " Sir, this sub, likes its chance to get hammered, with mates, on Saturdays, Sir. Sir, should Your property not do that, If it pleases You, Sir? " I could hear the unsure tone in her message. The dilemma of wondering if her new lifestyle didn't allow such frivolity, against her yearning for both to exist. "wild, I'd never stop you from enjoying yourself. you came looking for more than just Saturday night enjoyment. Saturday, or any other night are allowed for you to let your hair down, as long as you always follow the rules about checking, that you always care for the children first and then report back on what happened." Sir, Your property feels so pleased that You understand, Sir. Sir, it's very happy to know You, and likes what we are doing, Sir. " "We?" "Sir, sorry Sir. Sir, has Your property done something wrong, if it pleases You, Sir?" " How should you write 'we', wild? " "Omg!! Sorry..erm Sir. Sir, this sub forgot the rule, Sir. Sir, it should have written W/we, Sir. Sir, foggy brain, Sir." " you're forgiven, wild. Now, be a really gooooooood girl and tell Me about last night. " "Sir, it was a great night, Sir. Sir, we...that's not You and me Sir, is it, so can I use ordinary we, if it pleases You, Sir? " "Of course, goood we girl. Well spotted. Continue. " "Sir, thank You, Sir. Sir, we went to a bar where another mate works, Sir. Sir, it was about 11.30.Sir. Sir, she's really slinky and a bar dancer, Sir. Sir, she wears really interesting outfits, like I want to stroke her and touch her, Sir. SIr, she was having a break and so we had a shot together, Sir. Sir, on her next dance routine she got this sub up there too, Sir. Sir her boss said it was ok, Sir. Sir we got shouts from guys in the bar, Sir. Sir drunken guys who just want one thing, Sir. Sir, idiots. SIr, tyen we hung around waiting for her to finish, about half midnight, Sir. Sir then we all went to a club Sir. Sir the bar dancer and this sub went off to the loo, Sir. Sir, Your property feels embarrassed about what happened next, S ir. "