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ChairmanMiaow

Over 90 days ago

Straight Male, 48

0 miles · Hertfordshire

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9 Sep 2004

Quote by fabio grooverider
trying to sell yourself and your personality in 3 minutes is almost impossible and i think a lot of people have already made up their minds just by a look.....

I reckon you can suss someone out within about 15 seconds with a bit of practise - posture, bearing, body language etc tells you far more than words.
Having said that,i reckon most people go speed dating for a laugh, and to raise there own self esteem - so as long as you do that, and dont have too high expectations, it can work out.

9 Sep 2004

Aphex Twin
"Come To Daddy"
erm...

9 Sep 2004

There's something I very rarely see mentioned in safe sex discussions, and that's Hepatitis B vaccination - anyone who works in the biomedical professions has probably had one, but you can get it from the GP or GUM clinic - one course of jabs, and a very nasty STI you don't have to worry about for 10 years or so. Definitely a good idea if you're in a "high risk" group, and if you're planning on fun with multiple partners, that means you!
Which reminds me, I really must go and get mine done!!
CM

8 Sep 2004

Quote by thongboy_uk
Have you ever had that perfect fuck, one so good you can remember every detail? Then share it with the rest of us. Here's mine:

Yes, I have, and the details are delicious.
Share it, not a hope - I'll have a tough enough job getting any more if it for myself (she's gone back to live on the other side of the world sad

sad

) without being all generous and sharing around.
bah.
CM

16 Aug 2004

As I'm free and single, and having a wonderful time of it, I'm trying to think of all the things (sexual of course), that I'd like to try while I have the chance.
Which made me wondering - whats on everyone elses 'box not yet ticked' list?
Here's one of mine - sleep with someone who I don't speak the same language as
CM

23 Jul 2004

Andrew,
For the record, I'd like you to know how much willpower it has taken not to log in under another name and PM you one of my best mate's mobile numbers. :twisted:
The same one who doesn't know how many times he's nearly had his number written on toilet cubicles frequented by cottagers. But I would never do anything like that because it would be childish, immature, and inconsiderate biggrin

biggrin

When you say anyone, do you REALLY mean anyone?
CM

23 Jul 2004

I'm sorry.
It's Friday, I'm bored, I have a calculator.
My ex was convinced I was autistic. Maybe she had a point....
CM

23 Jul 2004

The list of acronyms in this post reminds me of something.
In the porn world, there's a particularly 'delightful' (and unhygenic) practice called "Ass To Mouth". Now, porn being a time-is-money sorta industry, this gets abbreviated to A2M.
One day, purely for research purposes you'll understand, I typed "A2M" into Google. The 5th listing down is a computer company, part of whose name is A2M. If you recreate the experiment, you'll see the 2nd part of their name makes them sound even dodgier!
I wonder if they know?
I wonder if someone should tell them ? :twisted:
CM

23 Jul 2004

Winky,
If 'a woman to use' is all you're after, why don't you visit an escort or a massage parlour? Go in, choose woman, pay money, have sex, job done.
It'll be a lot less hassle!
I'm not having a pop at your post - I am genuinely curious.
CM

23 Jul 2004

Hmmm, a wanking marathon.
Well, based on an average 6 inch penis, at 63,630 inches in a mile (isn't the google calculator great?)
That's 10,605 strokes you'll need in order to complete said marathon.
Bloody hell. I hope you've got a lot of lubricant.
CM
Heh, i've just realised that's only 3 hours of :wanker: if you go at rate of 1 stroke a second!

23 Jul 2004

:laughabove::laughabove::laughabove:
CM

23 Jul 2004

Quote by corriefem

CM

Lets Meet Up is like TV no one forces you to watch TV programmes and same with reading posts in lets meet up. I think sometimes people post just to get reactions as I cant believe they are really believing that people will reply. smile

smile

Very true, but I can't resist reading them - it's definitely a case "car crash forum posting" :)
That's a good point actually - can any single males here vouch for having received a response from a Lets Meet Up posting, ridiculous or otherwise? I've often wondered this when I read them!
CM

23 Jul 2004

Quote by MISSCHIEF
My vote was for chinese ....... mmmm Aromatic Crispy Duck is the best thing ever

Aromatic Crispy Duck?
Is that rhyming slang ?? :P
CM

23 Jul 2004

Congratulations Reese! drinkies

drinkies

CM

23 Jul 2004

Last Sunday, new house that I haven't moved into yet, with my housemate.
Damn near happened again last night, realised she turns into a raging nymphomaniac after half a bottle of wine.
I think I'm going to have to get a lock on my bedroom door...
Bloody funny though, spent evening with a girl crawling all over me, thoroughly testing my resolve, then got a very embarrassed text message in the morning biggrin

biggrin

CM

23 Jul 2004

lol

CM

23 Jul 2004

One of my mate's boyfriends is very keen on coarse fishing - he asked her what the appeal was, and he told her (seriously) that it was the "battle of wits between man and fish."
It took her about half an hour to stop laughing biggrin

biggrin

CM

23 Jul 2004

Hmm I wonder if most of them have gone much further than a fortnight without, but think
"hmm if i say more than two weeks, it'll sound like something's wrong with me. After all, the rest if my single male mates tell me they never go more than 2 weeks without a shag."
confused

confused

:
CM

23 Jul 2004

Quote by commuter
I'm a rep & travel with work a lot. I've got this real fetish which started when I accidently looked up a womans skirt in my local sainsbury's. She flashed me & then followed me round on a quiet tues evening. I ended up with her standing next to me as I was kneeling down to pick up a tin of tomatoes. I took the risk & touched her ankle. She got closer. In the end I fingerfucked her quietly there & then thru her panties.

And that is honestly what happened. I plead Not Guilty, m'lud. :P
CM

23 Jul 2004

Is it me or are the single male posts in that forum getting increasingly desperate sounding and ridiculous?
It should almost be renamed the "single males post a ridiculous advert so that cafe posters can have some sport" forum :P
CM

21 Jul 2004

Quote by MISSCHIEF
Worst ones are when the goody and baddy look practically the same ...... they should stick with the 'ones blonde and the other's dark' to make the difference more obvious

Apologies for offtopic, but does anyone else have this problem with soap operas? - whenever I shared a house with someone who watched both neighbours and home and away, I'd get REALLY confused between the sets of characters from each, and start making up strange hybrid plotlines

confused

CM

21 Jul 2004

I heard some people talking about older women lust on they radio today, and the owner of Coco De Mer (posh sex shop in London) said that of all the people she sees, women in their 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s enjoy themselves far more than younger women!
Sounds like everyone who's posted on this thread so far "ain't seen nothing yet", never mind being too old smile

smile

CM

21 Jul 2004

Quote by midlandsmale39
these clinincs are growing on me are the nurses lookers?

Yep, and they take an extra item of clothing of for every two weeks you go without smoking biggrin

biggrin

CM

21 Jul 2004

I suddenly started getting serious about going the gym about 4 months before I split up with my girlfriend - managed to get fit & slim just as we split. it's the best way in the world to say 'up yours' to your ex. :twisted:
Having said that, I have wondered if we subconsciously know these things are going to happen, and start getting ready for them confused

confused

:
CM

21 Jul 2004

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a Killer whale.
2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.
3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu, he came down eight hours short of the 400 day record. His sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him, and his phone and electricity had been cut off.
4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.
And the capper.......
6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
Here's hoping your day is better than any of these. biggrin

biggrin

CM

21 Jul 2004

rotflmao

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:
It's ok though, I'm pretty sure that no actual ducks were harmed in the making of this picture - looks like a photoshop job to me smile

smile

CM

20 Jul 2004

Quote by Ice Pie
Can someone please change the subject of this thread, or stop bumping it up to the top?
The phrase 'oap sex' just makes me think "Grilled cheese sandwich" :shock:

CM

Grilled cheese sandwiches are a marvellous aphrowotsit for young and not-so-young alike. I really can't understand why you would have a negative association with what, to any sane person, is by far the sexiest snack yet discovered! Specially with marmite :P
Oh, the snacks are lovely, it's the anatomical metaphor I can't handle :D

20 Jul 2004

Can someone please change the subject of this thread, or stop bumping it up to the top?
The phrase 'oap sex' just makes me think "Grilled cheese sandwich" :shock:
biggrin

biggrin

CM

20 Jul 2004

Well, rather a pointless thread than a threadless point.
Better in than out, I say.
CM

20 Jul 2004

Awww, thanks folks smile

smile

Although, I'm not getting drunk again, not after what happened last time redface

redface

CM