:roll: to a certain person 
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Countess
Over 90 days ago
Bi-curious Female, 50
Straight Male
Forum
Sexpert
Wow what a night !!!! Thank you Sassy and Easy for pulling it off....
What a apt venue name for some of us :P
It was great to see all the familiar faces and meet some new ...upskirt couple you can pull my hair any was a lovely to meet you xx.
To the couple I don't see enough of thanks for the chat it meant a lot
Sassy can I have you know who for Christmas please ...I promise I wont break him :twisted: :twisted:
Finally to my hand holder for the night thank you hun it was a pleasure :inlove:
assionkiss: :passionkiss:
What a apt venue name for some of us :P
It was great to see all the familiar faces and meet some new ...upskirt couple you can pull my hair any was a lovely to meet you xx.
To the couple I don't see enough of thanks for the chat it meant a lot
Sassy can I have you know who for Christmas please ...I promise I wont break him :twisted: :twisted:
Finally to my hand holder for the night thank you hun it was a pleasure :inlove:
assionkiss: :passionkiss:
ops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
Sexpert
Went to the pics on Sat night with mistress Sassy and her other half to see this film ...it was bloody brill.
What made me laugh even more is that Sassy is Tracey ,it's just what shes like ...but she said that if she was Tracey then I was Penny right down to the rolling of the eyes and sucking lollies.... :lol:
What made me laugh even more is that Sassy is Tracey ,it's just what shes like
...but she said that if she was Tracey then I was Penny right down to the rolling of the eyes and sucking lollies.... :lol:
Sexpert
I've never ...
been to a swingers club
never watched Watership Down or Tarka the Otter or Ring of Brightwater (never will either)
never seen a wild Otter (but I have been promised by somebody to take me and show me them
)
never had sex with a female (yet :rascal: )
never been to the USA
never been arrested ......(not for the want of trying) seems coppers are frighten of me 
some things I have done and will never do again and some things I'm just getting into :rascal: :twisted: 8-)
been to a swingers club
never watched Watership Down or Tarka the Otter or Ring of Brightwater (never will either)
never seen a wild Otter (but I have been promised by somebody to take me and show me them
)never had sex with a female (yet :rascal: )
never been to the USA
never been arrested ......(not for the want of trying
) seems coppers are frighten of me some things I have done and will never do again and some things I'm just getting into :rascal: :twisted: 8-)
Sexpert
Quote by the_Laird
Ooohhh
I forgot about this thread! I've got a new one....
:smitten: :smitten:
:worship:When do you get any work done ?? gallivanting all over Scotland in the nude .....you'll either catch your death or get arrested for exposing yourself
but I'm not complaining ...honest ...
Sexpert
Quote by Dirtygirlie
I've been waxing for years but I've always kept that little landing strip. A couple of weeks ago I took a notion that my relatively new piercing would look much better if I was fuzz free! :twisted:
Having never done this before (mostly cause of the pre-pubescent thingy) I decided at 1am on a Monday morning would be a good time to try it out. I have to say that it's not the easiest thing in the world to do when you're on your own so after contemplating the logistics of doing it standing up in the shower I decided that sitting on a towel on the floor with a bowl of water and a mirror was the way forward!
I must admit that once I'd finished I was well pleased with the end result! A few days later though I found myself getting off the bus for work and walking a bit like John Wayne because of the jaggy bits!!Someone has suggested using baby oil helps... any other suggestions?
I think waxing is the way forward but I need to convince my salon that they want to add that to their list or I have to go somewhere new!
Anyone done the whole laser treatment thing?
Sorry... I've waffled again!
I sit on the side of the bath and shave with my legs apart (great picture to have in your mines eye sorry) ......and that seems to get all the little buggers ...Oh and using easy's nivea for men sensitive gel works wonders ....
and to stop in- growing hair a regular scrub of the area with a bath mitt stops them growing into the skin
May hurt first time but you get use to it ....honest
:dunno: ...What so I like a little pain ....
Sexpert
.... on behalf of the Countess Laptop Fund (or CLF for short).
Meet Countess, a 30-*cough* year old woman, who has recently become a chat-op widow.
She has barely managed for years with minimal use of a computer, but recent events (*him* becoming a chat-op :dry: ) mean that even the occasional computer use she enjoyed has now dried up.
We are asking for just two goldfish a month to help her gain access to the internet and this forum again. This will help her to develop both posting and tarting boots and will hopefully get her back into the SH society where she belongs (either that or a mental health ward after living with *him* 
).
The head of a goldfish will pay for 30 mins of net connection, so please, please look deep into you hearts (and your pockets :lol: ) and give what you can.
Donations should be sent to....
Countess
c/o
3rd cubical from the door,
Piccadilly Train Station
Manchester.
England.
Net connection should be a right not a privilege and with your help we can right this horrid injustice. :giveup:
Meet Countess, a 30-*cough* year old woman, who has recently become a chat-op widow.
She has barely managed for years with minimal use of a computer, but recent events (*him* becoming a chat-op :dry: ) mean that even the occasional computer use she enjoyed has now dried up.
We are asking for just two goldfish a month to help her gain access to the internet and this forum again. This will help her to develop both posting and tarting boots and will hopefully get her back into the SH society where she belongs (either that or a mental health ward after living with *him*
).The head of a goldfish will pay for 30 mins of net connection, so please, please look deep into you hearts (and your pockets :lol: ) and give what you can.
Donations should be sent to....
Countess
c/o
3rd cubical from the door,
Piccadilly Train Station
Manchester.
England.
Net connection should be a right not a privilege and with your help we can right this horrid injustice. :giveup:
Sexpert
Ok first a big thank you to NWC and Sassy from the both of us. 
You guys are stars.
Next, thanks to a certain gentleman for keeping me company (and keeping me warm :twisted: ) throughout the night. :kiss: Hope the surprise was a pleasant one. :D
Hi to Umakes3, it was lovely to meet you guys and I hope that last night makes you want to stick around and get to know more of us.
Hi to "Malcom the Mountie" (sorry I had been :beer: and I don't remember your name ) nice to chat to you as well.
One name I do remember though is Dawnie
Easy says that it's now both of us not talking to you, you bad, bad, bad lady. 
To those who tried to tie me up..... gits :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol:
I'll keep my fingers crossed that you've all got unexplained bruises today
:rude: :lol:
Thanks to our house guests, but can you get in touch 'cos your credit card seems to have been declined and there's still the matter of the bill including breakfast. :giggle:
Oh and......... there were bloody rabbits, I saw them :smug: :P :lol:
from the both of us. You guys are stars. Next, thanks to a certain gentleman for keeping me company (and keeping me warm :twisted: ) throughout the night. :kiss: Hope the surprise was a pleasant one. :D
Hi to Umakes3, it was lovely to meet you guys and I hope that last night makes you want to stick around and get to know more of us.
Hi to "Malcom the Mountie" (sorry I had been :beer: and I don't remember your name
) nice to chat to you as well.One name I do remember though is Dawnie
Easy says that it's now both of us not talking to you, you bad, bad, bad lady. To those who tried to tie me up..... gits
:roll: :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol: I'll keep my fingers crossed that you've all got unexplained bruises today
:rude: :lol: Thanks to our house guests, but can you get in touch 'cos your credit card seems to have been declined and there's still the matter of the bill including breakfast.
:giggle: Oh and......... there were bloody rabbits, I saw them :smug: :P :lol:
Sexpert
Quote by Morbius
and turn the hot tub on ....
anyone want to join me :twisted:
..... grabs another bottle from the fridge ....
Absolutely :twisted:
Just had a nice long walk round the nature reserve looking for perving place...... erm looking for erm ... nature
I so need a long soak in the hot tub, need a strong man to rub me down with some oils afterwards as well ....
Cx
I m sure we can find one or two to oblige us with that ......OH BOYS WHERE ARE YOU
Cal and myself need some attention :twisted:
Well i'll let someone else sort Calista out, but my hands are yours
Ok start at the top on the shoulders and neck .........mmmmmmmmmmmmm very nice and just work your way down
:wink:
Sexpert
Quote by Calista
and turn the hot tub on ....
anyone want to join me :twisted:
..... grabs another bottle from the fridge ....
Absolutely :twisted:
Just had a nice long walk round the nature reserve looking for perving place...... erm looking for erm ... nature
I so need a long soak in the hot tub, need a strong man to rub me down with some oils afterwards as well ....
Cx
I m sure we can find one or two to oblige us with that ......OH BOYS WHERE ARE YOU
Cal and myself need some attention :twisted:
Sexpert
Quote by poshkate
Good idea, the place is looking rather dirty.
*passes mallock a bin*
Glass of white wine when you boys have finished tidying up......think I might order a chinese as well....anyone else want anything....
OOOO that's what me and Easy will be having when he gets in from work ,but while he's away I'll help myself to a cold bottle of beer...
and turn the hot tub on ....
anyone want to join me :twisted:
Sexpert
Quote by Calista
I don't think "knit one, purl one" or "norwegian wool" counts as dirty graphic sexy things though do they ???
Must admit the "taggart" scots accent does it for me, but as for erogenous zones I'll have to think about that one as I'm not the most tactile of people! i don't always like to be touched, stroked etc.
Cx
that's certainly not the type of talk I mean 
Sexpert
Quote by the_Laird
A Welsh, Irish or Scottish lilt does it for me
Oooooooooo a Scottish accent ....my knees go all wobbly and I become all giggly
:wink:/Waves frantically at Countess
Only if you promise to say "no problem" to me and then whisper dirty graphic sexy things to me ........ :twisted: :twisted: :wink:
