Quote by cu3b4ll
One of the creeds I live by is never to discuss religion or politics (or what looks good on the wife ). But if they can claim to judge public opinion by selling coloured sausages in the local butchers why shouldn't we - the Great British Swinging public - provide the pundits and spin doctors with our opinions?
After all, the butchers poll is only a refelction of local opinion. We're spread across the length and breadth of the British Isles and represent a far wider section of the community than any Mori poll could ever wish to cover.
Please don't use this as a platform to launch your own personal election policies (unless it includes free condoms and more sex :bounce: ) - let's just see who we think will win.

Quote by Hardtail
Hi everyone, Most of us have done the most interesting place to have shagged. Now what I would like to know is if you had choice of where when and with whom what would it be.
You can pick anyone alive or dead from any era of time.
They can be real or fictional.
And you can choose any place in the universe to do the deed.
As for me it would have to be with Angelina Jolie sometime in the future in large plastic bubble drifting above the rings of Saturn
Have fun and nice dreams

In the City centre, on a Saturday afternoon as the shoppers are walking past.

Quote by PoloLady
I ferkin hate pushy people - men, women, couples, combo's....
:x :x :x :x
I am becoming more and more intolerant of the pushy, irritating bastards!
They send a couple of photos (if you are lucky) and then it is straight on to "do you wanna meet?"
No what do you like, what do you want, would you like to chat. Straight in to the shag question (usually followed by a comment that implies if you don't say "yes" you will be branded a time waster).
Complete ferkin strangers and they expect an answer from a dodgy holiday snap!
Then they complain because I reply in a mildly sarcastic tone! :shock:
:x :x :x :x :x
OK rant over for the minute.

Quote by gspotman
cum-on then,what type of chocolate is good for bed time,and i dont mean the drinking
type tends to scald :shock:
i like to use a soft mousse to spread on the ladys nipples,clit and arse and slowly
lick and suck it off
for penetration i think a ripple bar is a good choice,not wide but long so it lasts a
while,u can use the first half of it as a dilldo,lying there all wraped up together
:roll: :roll: :roll: stimulating her clit with it then bringing it up to ur mouths and swap the melting
part together driping all over ur tounges then i get the other half,insert in 1 or other of her honey holes get on my knees
and eat and lick the rest of it.
god dont u just love a good foreplay session gets the blood flowing :twisted:

Quote by BigBoi
I'm about to do a very terrible thing and make you all remember the good old days
I'm about to get a car, my first one may i add, so i was wondering if anyone has any suggestions as to which one i should buy. There isn't a money problem but obviously i don't wanna shell out £4000 a year in insurance, so nothing too extravagant please
One more thing, what was everyones first car?
Someone must have had the reliant robin :lol2: :lol2: :rotflmao:

Quote by McCloggie
No NOT erection.
I am told that on monday all the cardinals under a certain age will meet in Rome to elect a new Pope.
What a boring way to choose a new world leader!!
I propose that all the said Cardinals meet at Aintree and do a circuit of the Grand National course over the fences carrying a nun piggyback. The ultimate winner becomes Pope.
I really think this has some advantages - commercial sponsorship, television rights, the ability to place a bet at the bookies etc.
Any views?

Quote by clio
I did it again ~~ gave my heart ~~ and some-one took part of it with them and left :cry:
Well ~~ not gone exactly :cry:
Just need a hug everyone ~~ please ~~ clio Xx

Quote by Calista
hi u want fuckin?

Quote by O. K.
heard a whisper from a friend of a friend that this was a lovely place to dip my toe in and see what swinging is about
i'm a 33yr old fem looking to meet guys and cpls around my age
plz guys don't start pming me i want to know more about u before u start pming

Quote by delilah1971
heard a whisper from a friend of a friend that this was a lovely place to dip my toe in and see what swinging is about
i'm a 33yr old fem looking to meet guys and cpls around my age
plz guys don't start pming me i want to know more about u before u start pming

Quote by little gem
Venus was complaining about the lack of something deep to get her teeth into so I trawled around and found little link for you all to play with and to discuss if you so wish.
"For many years, people used IQ tests to try and determine someone’s intelligence. However, some researchers believe that IQ tests do not take into account the fact that different people might think in different ways, and have different strengths and weaknesses.
Most people would agree that Mozart was a genius - but Mozart would probably have struggled with Einstein’s theories just like the rest of us. This doesn’t mean that one man was more clever than the other – they just thought in very different ways.
Many psychologists now believe that what we call intelligence can be subdivided into different categories, all of which can all be measured independently. Different kinds of thinking are needed to solve different problems."

(I am a Linguistic and Spatial thinker by the way)
So to expand on this theory, do you think the kind of thinker you are effects your behaviour and what kind of strategies work for your day to day life going smoothly?

Gem. x

Quote by andyjohnny
Gd' day to you all,
Its been said that there are certain foods which are good for getting you in the mood or improving your performance.
What are your foods and what do they do for you? Oysters are the old favourite to increase libido - I like Baileys but I may be sipping it from somewhere other than a glass glass
Other foods are rich in protein and help performance I'm sure, but over to you - there's a wealth of knowledgeable people here - any feedback would be great.
Thanks and Keep Safe
andyjohnny

Quote by O. K.
So where is the most interesting place you have shagged ?
Anyone beat shagging in a hospital shower stall where doctors and nurses could have came in and caught us at any time ?

Quote by reddog
picked my son up from football last night and when i got there two guys had squared up to each other
nothing happend it was handbags really but before they were seperated they managed to trade a few insults
with one guy saying "i'll knock your fxxxing lights out mate,which the other guy replied with a classic" oh yer try it and i'll rip your head off and shit down yer neck
it was funny because they sounded harder then they looked.
soooo.. i was wondering weather any of you guys had in your time heard some good insults traded....or indeed used any yourself.

Quote by O. K.
So after all the hype, what won your vote
For us it was Doctor Who to bring back the memories of our youth with our young son, but still recorded Ant & Dec to have a laugh at David Beckham
Sussex2

Quote by O. K.
..............argument you've had with a neighbour??
I had one last night about wheelie bins (?) and wanted to stick an axe in his head :x :x :x

Quote by RedHot
Yeah! After what seems ages away (only a few days really) I'm finally back from the hospital and getting ready to catch up on all the threads I've missed :P
My spine is black and blue, held together with staples and extremely painful, but apart from that I'm buzzing :lol2:
Oh and if anyone cares to send me a condensed version of all that I've missed, I'd be grateful cos I can't sit up for more than 5 mins every hour so it's going to take me ages to catch up :roll:
Tracy-Jayne

Quote by O. K.
...few years back I was seeing a Jehovah's Witness couple, who felt they could reconcile their obvious guilt about enjoying an alt lifestyle by ensuring I was packed off with the latest edition of the Watchtower & Awake in the morning :lol: :lol:

Quote by alspals
...few years back I was seeing a Jehovah's Witness couple, who felt they could reconcile their obvious guilt about enjoying an alt lifestyle by ensuring I was packed off with the latest edition of the Watchtower & Awake in the morning :lol: :lol:

Quote by Kate-Salford
Well, someone said come and have a look, so I comed, and I looked. Scary stuff eh? Not sure what to make of it all yet. It seems to me that the qualifications for joining the Swinging Heaven forum are that 1. One has to be totally loop the bleeding loop and 2. One has to talk utter and total BS????? I can do that. I'm good at talking crap, I do it for a living. "The cheque is in the post", "I put it on your desk yesterday", "I passed it to the IT department and they are going to action it", it just rolls off the tongue.
So hello to all, I shall stick around, contribute crap for a while till someone tells me to bugger off and stop being a nuisance, and attempt to have a lovely time whilst I'm here.
Hi
Kate

Quote by sheffieldfun4two"]We have one basic rule about meeting swinging partners................if we enjoy what we are doing with them, then we see them again! Simple as that!
However, over the last four years of swinging we have heard lots of silly rules others adhere to!
1. Never see a couple more than three times, to avoid possible emotional attachment!
2. The husband can't have sex with the other woman unless his wife has sex first with the other guy!!!
3. No kissing!!
There are others we have heard!

Quote by Sexysteph
Oh well I have reached a 1000 posts and for some reason I seem still to be here. I wonder why?
I first heard of Swingingheaven from an old contact that had read one of my first ever erotic tales and they suggested I send some to the site. Now being the very shy individual I was at that time I emailed this strange Guy called Mark and offered to send him some of them. I did not think anything of it till I got a reply from him asking if I had any more. Well have to admit …. I had several more and I sent them to him. This was the very first boost I ever had from a complete stranger who managed, to instil confidence in myself .. to encourage me to be myself and not repress my thoughts. Mark created my own little section of Swingingheaven, which sadly has become a bit neglected lately - I think I should do some more stories soon.
Anyway I went away from the Swing scene for quite a while when I had to re-evaluate my life. I had been a chatroom op on another site but suffered for a while from stress. When I came back one of the regulars from the old site was now a regular on Swingingheaven and he told me to check out the Chatroom here. So I did and one of the very first people who spoke to me in there was one of the Chat ops – non other than the King of Bollox himself - Mr NeilinLeeds. Like Mark he made me feel so welcome I pulled up a chair and seemed to become part of the crowd in there.
I was a bit scared of the Forums and terrified by the Mods (especially Bluexxx) she seemed sooooooooooo tough. I found it very intimidating to get started out here but I had plenty of encouragement. Gradually I began to meet people through the social meets.
Unfortunately I hit a disaster patch in my life again at the end of May last year when I was sexually assaulted by a Bus Driver and had to undergo counselling. The attack had happened because I was a swinger. The guy was sure that he would get away with it thinking I would not report it because I was a swinger. I did report it and he lost his job but it left me wondering if I could cope with swinging any longer. One of the regulars who I trusted, Marcuso, who I consider to be a very dear friend, was one guy I told the whole thing to – if it had not been for him I reckon I would have turned my back on a lifestyle I love. I owe you honey … Big time Thanks. He helped me put it all behind me and move on.
Since then of course I seem to have posted a lot more on the Forum, Got involved in Munches and had tremendous fun with a lot of very lovely people.
Swingingheaven has been there for me when I have needed it – so a big big thank you for putting up with me and building my confidence and I hope I have not bored anyone too much.

Quote by Jags
Can I just express a personal opinion - it's not a reflection of site policy
I HATE DICK PICS

or]
I HATE DICK PICS SO MUCH I COULD SCREAM
THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME
Try to get a screen shot of your brain instead
End of rant

Quote by Wishmaster
Decisions, decisions!. There I was, in the kitchen with knife in hand and two pieces of recently browned bread in front of me and a plate of butter when the most strangest of thoughts came into my head:
Which fecking side do I butter it on?
It's always been instinctive up until now but this dilemma facing me made me realise that perhaps early dimentia is setting in.
If I butter the toast on the other side then the counter will get all messy and we don't want that, Yuk!
But if I butter it this side I'll have to turn it over to make sure that the other side is ok about that and not feeling left out - you know how temperamental toast can be! .... and then the counter will STILL get messy, and we DON'T WANT THAT! - Yuk!
But then the thought occurred to me that if I butter the other side then THIS side will get peeved at me - I could, of course, not butter it at all but then the knife will be peeved at me for taking it out of the drawer unnecc ... unecces... unneces ...... bugger... without reason ..... where it was having a pint with it's mates (and probably getting a shag too if I know my knives!) ..........and the butter!! well butter is butter and if you unwrap it and don't use it it stalks off back to the cow that made it in a right humpf!!!
..... decisions, decisions! ... What to do gang?
Ta muchly
A Very Confused Wishmaster xxx