I'm used to peeps not sitting next to me.
Trust me vills, I've noticed it too, on a tube during rush hour both seats next to me are the last to be taken.
Join the most popular community of UK swingers now
Login
Redpantherman
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 62
UK
Forum
Quote by meat2pleaseu
Gardening, Meaty style!
1. has a flower- it's a flower
2. has no flower and isn't a bush- it's a weed so rip it out of the ground
3. its in the way and has thick roots- remove it with a hatchet :twisted:
Glad I'm not the only lunkhead then!
Last month I done the same... filled half a wheelie bin with the weedy looking buggas I did :bounce:
:rpm cannot find the beat the big man chested I am proud emote:
However it did occur to me to leave just one... coff coff... ahem
ops: ...er ...weed in situ coz I was puzzled as to why I had so many of the same type 
A few days later I passed an allotment (fuck me, me ring piece never felt the same after that :oops
& with a slack jaw I spied my weeds sporting the most gawjusly pinky purple thru to violetey colours! :doh:
rpm shall step away from the garden!
Quote by Sassy-Seren
I will stick to a bowl of Shaun & a quick Puff fondle in the long grass thank you...
Her name is Baaaaahbra! Didn't realise you were that way inclined!
Jus' coz it aint on me profile it don't mean I don't like to dilly dally on the way... :oops:
me' seems to be working ok 
Quote by noladreams
Amateur Erotica: Phrases to Positively Embrace!
Both my fb's just love to hear me gob of all the nasty, cheesy, filthy, corny call it whatever you will, lines when in the throes of passionate liaisons...
you name it... anything goes! :bounce:
I don't know if they read those literary phrases elsewhere, but I sure know they cant get enough o hearing them! :twisted:
Not quite sure how I'm gonna use/get away with the 'mancunt' one tho!
Ah, now see that's the thing - if I know someone likes to hear me talk filth then I'll say whatever muck springs to mind... I just don't like reading it!
:doh: is this a cheap n tacky way to get me to read it to you then?
OK's!
I guess you would like me to read it too you then at the entrance to the bedroom door as I gaze upon your form & gasped at your fantastic knockers & creamy pussy, your naked with nothing but a come fuck me big boy look on your face.
I ripped off my clothes but kept my socks on just incase you said no... but before I could take off my trainers to wow you with my Bart Simpson socks you pushed me back into the chair & began to suck my peperami... it was not the spicy one this time - the tablets the cock dock gave me cleared that little problem up in no time!
You chewed & gnawed my man meat till globs o spit dripped from your voluptuous mouth
you got your big baps out & proceeded to give me a titty wank & whilst doing so you licked my steaming creamy love milk that leaked from my massive womb turner.
I pushed my chunk o manhunk in your face to face fucked you - hard!
My gristle was throbbing hard now & I wanted it inside your creamy love hole but you had other ideas as you hoicked your leg over my shoulder & told me to lick up your pussy goo.
I rammed my tongue right up your snatch as you licked my balls...
:shock: (while standing up?):shock:
You looked at me with tears of joy :shock: (while licking my balls standing up?):shock: ...as I lapped up your puss' juice from your shaven raven.
You began to squirt into my mouth & then I knew you needed to be porked big time, I eased my hot rod deep into your sticky cum hole :shock: (fuck knows what contorted position your in now!):shock: Your hole sucked me in & we both enjoyed the slurping sound it made as you slithered up & down my love pole.
We both enjoyed the attention my John Thomas gave your cock canal
As I reached round & slipped a finger up your fudge box you moaned & called on me to squirt my goofy juice deep inside your hee-haw
I could feel your gammon lips clamping hard on my beef jerky.
I felt the volcano sap rising up inside me & I knew then your was going to enjoy my man yogurt flooding into your meat curtains.
A quick flick of my finger up your poo hole & you screamed in cock spunk heaven delight!
But I had other ideas... I quickly pulled out & whopped my load all over ya mush.
I need to lay down now :smoke:
Quote by Cubes
I find literary erotica often seems to inhertit the same preconceptions as visual porn - that it needs to be graphic to be erotic. Horses for courses I guess, but it's not what I look for in porn or in erotic literature.
For exampe, why does the porn industry insist that pleasure can only be achieved by sequentially having oral sex -> vaginal sex -> anal sex -> pulling out and ejaculating on face/back/breasts* ? I must be doing something very wrong! :shock:
Horses for courses indeed!
I've done the same thing many a time when emulating porn movies - nothing wrong, nothing right either... we all have a choice in how we entertain ourselves... right now the fad is the 'sequential' bang all holes n spunk on the face thing'
Not to everyone's taste but I like a bit o that in a real dirty session.
Amateur Erotica: Phrases to Positively Embrace!
Both my fb's just love to hear me gob of all the nasty, cheesy, filthy, corny call it whatever you will, lines when in the throes of passionate liaisons...
you name it... anything goes! :bounce:
I don't know if they read those literary phrases elsewhere, but I sure know they cant get enough o hearing them! :twisted:
Not quite sure how I'm gonna use/get away with the 'mancunt' one tho!
Both my fb's just love to hear me gob of all the nasty, cheesy, filthy, corny call it whatever you will, lines when in the throes of passionate liaisons...
you name it... anything goes! :bounce:
I don't know if they read those literary phrases elsewhere, but I sure know they cant get enough o hearing them! :twisted:
Not quite sure how I'm gonna use/get away with the 'mancunt' one tho!
:doh: Methinks this thread was not for seekers of exceedingly cheap n seedy encounters & those who desire full-contact laptop dances often involving non-penetrative sex where a nubile young stripper may rub her lap or genitalia (if naked) against my throbbing tumescent member...
How much wronger I be
rpm wanders off muttering horrible things about stormy! :fuckinghell:
How much wronger I be
rpm wanders off muttering horrible things about stormy! :fuckinghell:
Just wrote a monumental million word post to this subject then the fecking thing timed out when I hit the submit button 
here's the abridged version...
Not just you Sara... many peeps will exercise a moral stance from the comfort of an armchair ...or sex swing! :twisted:
...& will often take it at face value when someone says "I'm not married" so that they can absolve themselves of any guilt & enjoy the flow...
But hey acrchy... all I can say is good on ya for being honest!
here's the abridged version...
Quote by foxylady2209..coz your a witch!
How did my earlier post end up at the top?
Quote by fabioCant say any more than that... well I did actually, I just cant be arsed to type it up again!
rather than argue with those who don't, you are not going to change there minds!
Quote by Sara_2006
...but i also have double standards. i dont ask someones attached status when i am in a club for example..
Not just you Sara... many peeps will exercise a moral stance from the comfort of an armchair ...or sex swing! :twisted:
...& will often take it at face value when someone says "I'm not married" so that they can absolve themselves of any guilt & enjoy the flow...
But hey acrchy... all I can say is good on ya for being honest!
