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Theladyisaminx

2 days ago

Straight Female, 61

United Kingdom

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20 Jun 2012

Quote by bayboy1664
After reading a few threads on here recently I have decided I am a time waster.
How I have decided this is by answering a few simple questions in my head.
1. I used to meet but don't anymore must = A time waster
2. I chat and have a laugh with people and because of number 1 above = A time waster
3. I don't arrange meets anymore = A time waster
4. I like chatting to people with like minds = wasting their time.
So adding it all up I must be a time waster and proud to be one.
Would any other time wasters like to unite with me?
Do drop in and say hi

Thing is this is supposed to be a swingers site not a place for old mates to chat and keep up. That is what facebook is for. Unless you are upfront all the time about the fact that you are not meeting at all then you leave yourself wide open (and rightly so) to the charge of time waster.
And the fact you fail to realise this and think those that get annoyed with you are in the wrong perfectly demonstrates the cliquey nature that has now greatly damaged the credibility of the site as a place for actual swingers who meet rather than just a chatroom.
Hello Bayboy,
First of all I have never used facebook. I have always felt it is a bit like - you can be in my gang as I have allowed you entry, type of place. It's not for me thanks. I much prefer to be able to have a chat with all types of people roaming about who enjoy sharing my company and I theirs.
I am honest on my profile and also in the room I opened last night called "Timewasters we don't meet or shagg" funnily enough many people came in and complemented me on my honesty. I have never in my five years on this site every been in a situation of getting anyone annoyed with me and have said I am in the wrong being here because I don't meet.
Swinging for me is like others have said. It is a mindset not having sex with all and sundry that ask. If your description of a cliquey is of people that share liked minds or activity this could relate to many activities within life. Then the simple fact you have joined here must make you want to join in the cliquey.
At the end of the day we must all share a common theme or we wouldn't be paying to join a site like this, the fact we all do it differently should just be respected in my honest opinion.

18 Jun 2012

Quote by Lost
Minx - What do you mean some of my threads were insane? explain yourself woman!

Lost I have been waiting for my chance to pounce:

Quote by Lost
I dunno if we got shrep enabled or not nor do i know how to enable, disable, disenenable, coffee table, tower of babel, cable, label, or fable it neither am I bothered about finding out.

The is brilliant but mad = insane kiss

kiss

18 Jun 2012

Quote by Pink_n_Blue
Haven't bothered with Shrep either, no ad running, only pics of Blue on the profile at mo, can i join, can i, can i?

You can stay as long as you don't tell Blue. wink

wink

18 Jun 2012

Quote by Bambi

Do drop in and say hi

HI :wave:
:wave: Bambi x
BTW could you buy bear a new pair of boots?
The ones he has have holes in. Ta. lol

lol

18 Jun 2012

Quote by Inanna
This is LB1 writing (by the way, I think there should be a function for couples with extras - like in chat - to choose which one is doing the posting in the forum)...but I digress...
I'm getting a little tired of hearing the expression "time waster" on this site. It seems to me to be a term that's banded about by frustrated and impatient people as a way to justify to themselves why someone they've talked to once or twice hasn't shagged them yet!!
To my mind, the only legitimate use of the word is to describe someone who has arranged a meet and doesn't show up (or otherwise failed to do something they've committed to doing). The fact that someone has exchanged a few messages with you or chatted in the chatrooms, but doesn't want to meet you immediately, does not make them a time waster!! It just means that they (quite sensibly) wanted to talk a bit first and then decide whether to arrange a meet. Or they were just being friendly! Or they may want to meet, but not just yet. Unless someone has actually said they'll meet you and hasn't shown up as agreed, don't you think it's a little rude and aggressive to brand them a time waster?!! If my wife and I are expected to fuck everyone we ever speak to on here, we'll be pretty bloody busy!!
People are all on this site for different reasons, and everyone is looking for different things from their experience - even just in my own relationship, I know that my wife wants different things from the site than I do - she's a voyeur and is not keen on being on cam; I'm an exhibitionist and could spend endless hours on cam!! I find it frankly astounding that so many people seem to have got this far through life without realising that not everyone agrees with them and sees life the way they do. It is such a narrow-minded and blinkered approach to life and I genuinely find it hard to understand.
Not everyone wants to have meets every week. Not everyone will know whether there's enough sexual chemistry and attraction to want a meet without chatting quite a bit first. Not every meet will necessarily end in sex. Not everyone even wants meets! I think anyone tempted to run around labelling people as time wasters needs to calm down, take some time to make an effort and see where that takes them - it's likely to be a damn site further than getting pissed off and moving on just because you don't get a guaranteed fuck after saying "hi" in the chatrooms!
My wife and I are still very new to swinging and are still in the process of working out what we each want from it (both individually and then working out how to get what we both want doing this as a couple). But, what we already know for sure us that swinging is about much more than just meeting people for sex for us - it's a fabulously rich and fascinating world, with loads to explore and enjoy! Perhaps if the op chills out a bit, takes his time and loses the attitude, he might discover the many pleasures to be had!

Inanna That is a great post!
Minx
x

18 Jun 2012

Quote by skinny
Yer all fekin time wasters....can I join please?

Nope you have active shrep.
Where's the boot button?

18 Jun 2012

Quote by neilinleeds
Would any other time wasters like to unite with me?

Don't have SHREP enabled here Minxy which makes me a timewaster by definition it would seem. rolleyes

rolleyes

lol

Seems I'm in your club whether I like it or not. As it happens I do like it, and sign up gladly.
'Wasters of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your time', as a bloke with a big beard could have very nearly once said.
N x

Quote by flower411
No shrep here ...
Oh my !! I`m a time waster :lol:

Errmm I have shrep enabled in private.
Does that make me a fraudulent time waster?
Help what am I?
:confused:

18 Jun 2012

Quote by Nsafun_one
If you're reading this post you're probably either a time waster or aspiring to become one. Welcome; you've come to the right post!
To ensure your time is best wasted I thought it best to post my '6 golden rules of timewasting', just to give you a flavour of what members expect/do not expect of you:
1. This is a swingers site; if you're not sure what it means it probably isn't for you.
2. Read the adverts; grnuine members pretty much respond to all emails but please afford the courtesy of checking what someone is looking for first.
3. Happy to chat before meeting, and sometimes chatting is all that will happen. But at least be seeking meets if you're going to contact someone.
4. If a meet is arranged genuine members show up as arranged. It's not unreasonable to expect the same of you.
5. Face photograph and contact number to be exchanged prior to meeting. And
6. If this sounds like too much effort, please see 1. above
How do I spot others of my own kind you may ask? Well i'm glad you did! The site has a feedback system called 'Shrep'. Have a look at the profiles, if it's activated it's at the top. See it? No...? There you go; a fellow timewaster! You deserve each other.
Helpful? I hope so. And it applies to everyone on here, not just me, so please bear in mind before wasting anyone's time other than your own....
x

:laughabove:
bolt

bolt

18 Jun 2012

After reading a few threads on here recently I have decided I am a time waster.
How I have decided this is by answering a few simple questions in my head.
1. I used to meet but don't anymore must = A time waster
2. I chat and have a laugh with people and because of number 1 above = A time waster
3. I don't arrange meets anymore = A time waster
4. I like chatting to people with like minds = wasting their time.
So adding it all up I must be a time waster and proud to be one.
Would any other time wasters like to unite with me?
Do drop in and say hi wave

wave

10 Jun 2012

Quote by flower411
I'm a gobby bint :giggle:

No change there then!! :bounce::bounce::bounce: kiss

kiss

He never went to Australia at all ....Minx has had him stashed under her bed for some time !
Well he did say he went down and under. lol

lol

I do allow him out on high days and holidays only if he is good.

10 Jun 2012

Quote by Sgt Bilko
I'm a gobby bint :giggle:

No change there then!! :bounce::bounce::bounce: kiss

kiss

Blimey there is a blast from the past. :welcome:

5 Jun 2012

Quote by DT73
Ive not been into the lifestyle for long but ive noticed a trend with people who use these sites...
Im curious why people will post a profile but not have any photos at all (even in a private file)!!
This strikes me as a little odd...why is is preferable to send photos of yourself via email but not via private message to potential playmates with whom you trying to engender interest!!
Im curious as to whether im missing something obvious or whether some people here just arent genuine!!
Suggestions please !!

I wonder what you mean by your word genuine?
I think I am a genuine kind of person but I have never had photos on my profile or emailed them to anyone, it never stopped us meeting people who were more than happy to chat on cam, phone etc.
I have always believe an image on a photo doesn't give me enough about the person that I find sexy as sexy for me is a state of mind and I haven't yet found a photo that captures the mind.

5 Jun 2012

Looking back over the reason we first joined this site was to explore another side of life, a life that was alien to me but not one I would judge others embarking upon. I just never felt it would be something I would have the courage to do myself. I had lead a traditional type of lifestyle meeting and marrying my teenage sweetheart and we have been together 32 years.
I have always had an adventurous nature naturally and always open to try new things but not always having the self belief and courage within myself.
What I have learnt more by joining here and talking to many different people is a freedom to express myself and explore many different parts of myself I don't mean just sexually.
Have your learnt anything about yourself being here?

15 May 2012

Quote by Lost
Why do I find it so hard to post nowadays? I want to and I get halfway through a response and then sort of freeze and end up giving up. strange really as when I first started posting I felt really intimidated for some reason, dont really know why but I guess if you didn't quite get your posts right the forum could come across as a bear pit. Then, when I got my posting confidence up I multiple posted regularly every day. Now I just freeze. Frustrating.

Firstly losty I am blaming someone else for intriguing me to look at the forums from afar after keeping away from SH for the last few months.
Now I find myself reading the forums every few days offline just to see what's new.
Secondly I am blaming you. lol

lol

I felt impelled by you to respond actually sign into SH just to respond to your thread.
As I remember the time you were a gobby git in the forums in the nicest possible way of course. wink

wink

I understand what you are saying but I think a bear pit only happens if you allow others to have an impact on how you are feeling or let them change your mood. So stop being a bear and get posting. Although at times I sat here thinking what the heck is old losty on about today, as some of your threads it has to be said were insane lol. I still always read what you had to say with interest. So forgave the odd mad posting. kiss

kiss

So I bid you farewell and happy posting, I am going back to my quiet corner but shall continue to read from afar.
Minx
x

26 Jan 2012

It is a shame, for those like myself, that failed their education it leads to insecurities that hinder you in life. I don't always spell correctly nor do I always use punctuation, as I am not sure where to add it.
I was told by my teachers when leaving school that I was thick and stupid and I would achieve nothing with my life.
I am not about to make excuses nor apologise for my failings in being able to communicate with you about correct grammar or my non punctuation in my writing.
I would just like to say until finding this site and I came here originally to communicate with like minded liberated people but what it also gave me was confidence to write in the written form. Before coming here I never had the confidence in my written ability and always felt I would be judged.
Luckily for me in life there have always been people around rather than be critical have offered help, guidance and support.
One might be able to write a good script which can be admired, but can we learn from that if in fact that person is intelligent or not?
I do however agree that text talk is somewhat frustrating as I have not a clue what is being said.
But I think to be critical of grammar and punctuation and to judge a person on that, you might find there are some very interesting minded people in life that you might be over looking.
I shall leave you with a quote from Yeats
"Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people".
Minx
x

22 Jan 2012

The site is the same as it has always been, since I joined a few years back. It has gone through updated changes but basically the site is the same.
I think we change over time of being here, it is like anything that is new in the beginning, it is exciting and fun. Like anything in life it evolves and changes, but is it the site that changes or is it ourselves that change?
I think we have to be truthful with ourself and others to find what we want for the site, or we might find ourselves blaming the site for not delivering what it is that we don't even know we want from it.
We can all get frustrated at times, but we all have the option of taking time out or even just walking away instead of blaming the site for our own frustrations.
This is just my philosophical view of course. wink

wink

Minx
x

14 Dec 2011

Securing funding for much needed equipment that will help develop youth at our voluntary run sports club for years to come.

10 Dec 2011

Quote by skinny
Would you .... do things to, or with other people that you wouldn't do with (I was going to say "your partner")the one you desire. We could be talking swapping or fetishes, or just bum sex even....and we're always assuming you'll be open with your partner. Are there things you will seek to do with others that you won't ask a partner to do?

Hi Skinny I think your op is a little vague in what you are asking.
Are you suggesting that you wouldn't ask your partner because your relationship feels more loving and sensual so maybe you would feel embarrassed to own up to a hidden fetish or a secret fantasy?
That is outside the quote "Normal" within a loving relationship?

10 Dec 2011

I am wracking my brains, I got presents every year but the only two that have stuck in my mind was a dolls house my Dad and his friend made when I was 4 the lights worked and even had little oil painting his friend painted on the walls, my Mum had made curtains and laid carpet in the rooms. I have would love to of had it still when I had my daughter but haven't a clue what happened to it. My dad made her one when she was 4 because I asked him to, I wish I had my original one.
At 12 I got a chemistry set left on the bottom of my bed for christmas morning and my brother and I woke at around 3ish and started mixing things together and shock the test tube and it exploded over the bedroom and we woke our parents and got told off. lol

lol

These are the only two that live in my memory. :shock:

29 Nov 2011

Quote by Laff_n_Chilli
We haven't voted because we can't see a category we can genuinely vote for
but our preference is MFM
why is there not a 'we are a cpl and our pref is...' option?

Isn't MMF just the same as MFM?
yep of course it is - the bit we questioned was that the vote was not open to couples - but only to men or women - not couples - yet as far as we can see most ppl who have commented on this post are couples. Surely the preferences should have an option that allows a couple to express an opinion rather than just one half of the couple or the other - this is a joint thing after all
Ah ok true, but I was merely asking male/ females choices as some couples although both know the other plays don't have the same preferences. I have suggested already on the suggestion thread that it would have been good to have two voting rights for couples that post.

29 Nov 2011

When we joined here I signed up and it took me all of a couple of minutes to think of my name and I have been told it really suits my personality.
I wouldn't change it and think even if someone called me Minx while I was out I would just respond with a hi without thinking. lol

lol

As for hubby being called Mr Theladyisaminx I have never asked if he is happy with this, but as he has rarely used the site, he hasn't complained.

29 Nov 2011

We can talk to people day by day either in the written form or on the phone or hear a voice on the radio, often I conjure up an image of what they might look like, I know I am not alone when I do this. As I recently found out when on cam and another forumite saw me and said "blimey that is what you look like, after your 100000 vote thread I imagined you to be a nerd looking person."

rotflmao

:rotflmao: However they might look? lol

lol

Have you even spoken to someone then seen what they look like and been pleased or disappointed that your image of them has changed?

29 Nov 2011

Quote by Laff_n_Chilli
We haven't voted because we can't see a category we can genuinely vote for
but our preference is MFM
why is there not a 'we are a cpl and our pref is...' option?

Isn't MMF just the same as MFM?

28 Nov 2011

Other have said about historical times that I remember and people gone.
IVF. I remember when Louise Brown was born the first test tube baby mind blowing at the time but Millions have benefited from this since.
Dish washing machine, How I longed for something like this when I was a kid.
Getting a basic calculator and being amazed when it could add up, subtract, divide and times
World Wide Web which is to me is the most amazing part of computer age. It gives us all Knowledge, Communication, Education, Media Entertainment the list is endless and was given to us all free.
Concord being grounded
shall be back

25 Nov 2011

Unless the site owners are members here or read the forums. wink

wink

lol

23 Nov 2011

Quote by Lost
It's got to be MMF for me. I don't know what it is but like your hubby it really gets me going :twisted:

You said you don't know what it is?
Did you mean you have not yet indulged in the act yourself yet?Think the guys means that he cant explain why it is that he likes MMF just that he does Minx smile

smile

I cant explain why I like watching J playing with a cpl but I just know that I do. So I guess I like the MFF scenario best even though i'm just a voyeur to it. In saying that I do find that two confident and competent guys playing with J is well horny but I think for me I get the best of everything in watching MFF.
Oddly though I don't find watching people playing does a lot for me unless J's involved and then I love it. Probably not the best idea to look into the psychology of why I do just be happy, that I do and I am.
Hello Lost x Good to see you posting
Not seen you about here for a while.
Since we started meeting hubby is like you in the fact watching others play isn't his thing anymore, he much prefers the couple of videos he has of me playing in the past.

23 Nov 2011

Men ask, does my bum look good in this?
If only they asked. lol

lol

23 Nov 2011

Quote by meon
It's got to be MMF for me. I don't know what it is but like your hubby it really gets me going :twisted:

You said you don't know what it is?
Did you mean you have not yet indulged in the act yourself yet?

23 Nov 2011

Quote by SinSi
Blimey I just noticed that the cafe has had 905618 posts. I remember when the site was coming towards a million members, everyone was guessing what date the million roll over might happen.
Maybe we could do the same for the posts on the cafe.
I know we have some way to go but it would be a bit of fun to watch.
Might encourage more posters.
Also what will happen when it does?
Would it go back to Zero?
Or will it roll over to a 6 digit number?
I went back to the first posts I could find and this looks like when the forums as they are today first started. Seems there was something prior but no records.
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/swingers-forum/viewforumpage/1/36800.html

Didn't the number of Cafe posts more than double when the JFF threads were merged with it? dunno

dunno

The JFF threads were originally part if the Cafe, Admin split them for a short while and then combined them again. It had always been the case that general fun threads have always generated more posts over the years. It is a shame that we don't seem to have any of them now days. I think people are much more reluctant to start any, as a lot of people moaned that they spoilt the cafe, but they were always popped up before the re merge.

23 Nov 2011

More than a mouthful make me feel inadequate, does that make me a bit of a size queen? lol

lol